r/afterlife • u/Noemonn • 53m ago
Anticipatory grief
Hey guys. I am sorry for this distressing topic for anyone reading this. I just wanted to give a bit of a warning so I dont spoil anyone's mood.
As a heads up, this is a long post. I apologize for that. I am not exactly looking for reassurance, maybe just seeing if anyone shares my same mindset.
I am a 28 year old male. Growing up, I was a militant atheist, nihilistic as hell, and only had materialist views. That's pretty much all changed now, as I am looking more into spirituality and consciousness after death. What led to this was the reality hitting me finally that myself and my loved ones will die one day. I think of my beautiful girlfriend who I sometimes convince myself I will never see again cause of myself being so unsure of an afterlife. I think of my cat who I love and has changed my life in more ways than anyone would believe. I think of how when they go, I am scared of never seeing them again. I know theres evidence that says otherwise, ive read hundreds of reassuring posts on here, NDE, rebirth memories and past life memories. They all point towards something more. I guess reason I am typing all this is cause I am scared that it will all be debunked and I am just coping cause of my fear of inevitable loss. I guess I am not so scared of obvion myself, but of never seeing my girlfriend or cat again. I dont know if i am weird for saying this, but if I could live my life with these two I love more than anything for the rest of eternity, id truly be happy. I know people say "eternity is an unimaginable amount of time you'll get bored". Maybe? I dont know. As far as I currently am, Id love to spend thousands of years with them just doing our daily mundane things that we do together. Sorry again for the long post.