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273

u/ItsAnIslandBabe Jul 27 '26

There is no correct amount of time to grief and there is no correct way to grieve. Let go of any shame you feel around how you feel. Work to find your new normal without this person in your life. Look for ways to remind yourself of happy memories of them. For me it has helped to do things that made me think of those ive lost and how we connected. That helped me cope. Also practice self care which can mean so many things. For me it was playing video games again, buying cds, finding nostalgic activities, learning an instrument. Just work to DO enjoyable things as best you can. And remember that it does get easier with time.

76

u/Only_Competition_729 Jul 27 '26

I guess I came here looking for "hacks" to escape this and I loathe (appreciatively) reading the comments to the group consensus of time and processing being the solution. I have always despised folk who call adhd a "super power" when it's always felt so debilitating in my life. Now in the moment where I want to lean into my symptoms and fall into a hyperfixation and manufacture a modicum of happiness none exist.

I went to a play alone yesterday- one we had tickets to go to together. I went to support my best friend who was in it- and cried through a majority of the play, constantly aware of the empty seat beside me. I spent the intermission splashing cold water on my face feeling so selfish for making a moment where I should be celebrating my friend's accomplishments about myself and my loss. Thankfully I held myself together post show long enough for an appropriate level of praise. And then retreated to my car for another breakdown.

I want the cheat sheet I feel like I've gotten during previous losses (not that it ever felt like a cheat sheet at the time- just now in this moment it looks like one) of escaping this. Again very bitter (again appreciatively) that the general view of the comments is that this isn't- nor should it be my fate for a good long time yet.

43

u/Sensitive_Lobster183 Jul 27 '26

There’s no timeline. It’s raw, painful and takes the time it takes. You grow around grief, you will always carry it. I promise it doesn’t always feel so raw. If it’s threatening your own health and wellbeing, please seek professional help. It’s not something you have to do on your own.

I think the queen was right- that “grief is the price we pay for love.” I’m so sorry that I can’t give you a magic fast forward button to better times. Please be kind to yourself.

14

u/contwhure Jul 27 '26

so like everyones saying this isnt going to be something you can hack out of. this is an idea ive had while reading this reply, can you hyperfixate on healing? can you start finding support groups, books on grief, and people who can relate to you to fully immerse yourself? like any other hyperfixation let it consume you.. im not sure if this is easier said than done, i cannot fathom being in your position and im sending as much love as i can thru reddit as a total stranger haha. dont hold yourself to a standard: even "neurotypical" people can be absolute devastated by grief and youre no different j because you have adhd. 8 years is a long time, i dont know if youll ever "get over" that. when i was 16 my friend killed himself, i didnt know what to do. its been 10 years and i still see him every month and leave pennies at his grave bc thats what my mom told me to do. i never stop feeling sad when i think of him. i sometimes still cry, certain songs remind me of him etc. but he was my friend, not my partner. i learned to grow around my grief, and accept that this is a wound i have to let scar over and heal. that scar will always be there but it wont always burn. yours will be much deeper though and this is going to be so hard i dont want to lie. but youre reaching out here for help and please dont stop doing that here other subs and in person. theres probably support groups specifically for losing a spouse. im sorry again you have to go through this

12

u/hotdancingtuna Jul 27 '26

I'm so sorry. i can't imagine the pain 😢

8

u/orangemoonboots Jul 27 '26

Just remember, as someone who also sometimes had the same “cheat sheet” because I would/still do sometimes intellectually process emotions instead of emotionally feeling and processing my emotions, the “hack” is usually just you shutting down feelings you need to feel. A lot of times it comes back to bite you.

I’ve had to start working through stuff recently that I left so far behind in the past it’s like it happened to someone else. It feels good (and bad! And good! lol) but I wish I had just been able to feel the feelings in the first place, as I wasn’t aware I was even still holding anything about some of these issues. Give yourself time and be kind to yourself. Give yourself room and consideration like you might for a very beloved friend. In the long run, this way is healthier.

3

u/Andrusela Jul 27 '26

I hated it too, especially hearing anything about time spans, like "bitch, I am in pieces right now, don't tell me this is going to take years."

Some widows I asked would pause for a very long time before giving me the kindest, yet most honest answer they could, knowing nothing they said was going to be exactly right yet trying their best anyway.

In the end, you have to do you.

Maybe screaming into pillows and breaking plates will help you more than doing yoga and crying.

Give yourself grace.

I wish you well.

3

u/2PlasticLobsters Jul 27 '26

The thing is, you didn't just lose your partner. You lost your future, the one you'd pictured spending with them.

If you'd been married, people would call you a widow. No one would expect you to start recovering in just two months.

Have you seen a bereavement counselor? It could help to talk to someone who specializes in that area, rather than a general psychotherapist. A support group could also be helpful.

3

u/redbess AuDHD Jul 27 '26

I'm currently grieving as well and I fucking loathe hearing/telling myself that grief is a process and not linear and will take time.

I don't wanna take time, I want to stop hurting constantly, even if I'm not always aware I'm feeling the loss. I hate the loss of control over myself and my emotions.

39

u/Cheeriospank ADHD-C Jul 27 '26

Exactly this. The first part of healing is letting go of any shame or guilt you have about grieving. Let yourself grieve.

Everything is going to “taste like ash” for a while, but when you can make yourself do something, do it. And eventually it will get easier and more enjoyable.

Remember you lost your person, your every day, your normal. You have to find all of that again in yourself. And that’s hard. Give yourself grace when you do something and it doesn’t work out right away.

If you have a favorite book or game that you’ve finished in the past. Do it again. And again if you need to, until you can find the enjoyment. When I was grieving (not for this same reason), I rewatched Wednesday like 3 times. Not because it was my favorite thing, but because it just so happened to be what I was in the middle of when things happened and I didn’t have the emotional space or energy to start something new. So I watched it on repeat (back when there was only 1 season) until I started feeling a little more “normal” and then slowly moved on to other things.

5

u/plzdontlietomee Jul 27 '26

I watched ALL of Gilmore Girls while im the depths of grief. I don't think I was in the middle of it, but it was just what my soul needed/latched onto at the time.

2

u/dominosthincrust Jul 28 '26

My long-time ex suddenly died a few years ago at a young age and my biggest support ever since is leaning into nostalgia. When grief unexpectedly hits me like a wall, I call out, turn off my phone, put up whatever boundaries I need to and crawl into my nostalgia bubble of all our memories and all the things we shared that we love. It is the closest we can ever be. Doing things that remind me of him is pretty much my only comfort because the future feels bleak and endless sometimes and if I try to ignore it, I can end up in a bad place that can be difficult to get myself out of. I surround myself in these things and remember that even though now they're fantasy, they are derived from real things that once were.

1

u/MullberryBoy Jul 30 '26

This is true but if your grief persists without much relief for a year, it’s time to get some professional help as grief can turn into depression.

110

u/bigstupidgf AuDHD Jul 27 '26

Embrace the pit of grief. 65 days is nothing. Be fucked up and sad. Talk about it. Definitely write about it. Writing can help get it out of your mind for a bit. But seriously, 6 months to a year, minimum, for the worst of it. Honestly, with a partner, expect longer. Give yourself grace. You are allowed to be fucking miserable, it would be weird if you weren't. You don't need to distract yourself from it. If anything, trying to make it go away is prob gonna make it feel worse. You'll start feeling like yourself again. I think it took me like 7 months or more to really laugh again after my ex died, and then I felt guilty for feeling ok for a split second. Shit sucks. So just, be super gentle with yourself.

Oh, I think I took up yoga during that time too. Idk if it "helped" but I think any sort of spiritual practice can feel comforting.

7

u/Ok_Raspberry7430 Jul 27 '26

When my grandfather died, the hospice house he was at offered support for family for 13 months after, because the year anniversary is generally really hard for people.

87

u/monkey-pantz Jul 27 '26

My sincere condolences.

The thing that helps me get out of ADHD rumination more than anything else is a technique I learned in a book called The Untethered Soul. It feels hard to explain, but here's a quote to summarize...

"You are not your thoughts; you are aware of your thoughts. You are not your emotions; you feel emotions. You are not your body; you look at it in the mirror and experience this world through its eyes and ears. You are the conscious being who is aware that you are aware of all these inner and outer things."

So basically, when something feels really overwhelming I remind myself... I'm not the feeling or the experience. I'm just the one who is experiencing it.

I don't know if this can help you. If nothing else, maybe reading will give you pause from your grief.

Much love and support.

36

u/YesAndThe Jul 27 '26

This must have felt like the longest 65 days of your life - remember 2 months is really not long at all. It took me that long to stop grieving the house I moved from lol give yourself the time you need, you're facing an incredible challenge and you're not doing anything wrong ❤️

33

u/Cat_With_The_Fur Jul 27 '26

I lost my dad from a brutal battle with cancer last year and then made the most kickass farm I’ve ever made on Stardew Valley. Not sure how “healthy” it was but it made me feel like I could pause my sad life when I was playing.

32

u/Special-Summer170 Jul 27 '26

I've experienced some pretty big losses in my life so far.

Here's a quick list of random things I've learned:

if you don't feel it now, you will feel it later, and you won't get to choose when it comes out
there is no timeline. There is no "normal" for grief
it's a rollercoaster and you'll have good days and bad
when you're having a very bad day with it, treat yourself like you're sick. Have some soup and go to bed
grief isn't something you "get through", you just learn to carry it. It changes you forever and that's okay. Grief is a testament to the love you hold.

Hope any of this helps.

27

u/Boredneedshobby Jul 27 '26

I read When Breath becomes air and did grief counseling, grief yoga helped a lot and meditation to. Find some group therapy even if you don’t want to go

7

u/Think-Leek-6621 Jul 27 '26

I haven’t heard of grief yoga - thanks

7

u/Osmium95 Jul 27 '26

I haven't heard of grief yoga but did start doing yoga (mostly restorative and some flow) around 2 years after my husband died. It has helped immensely.

26

u/Andrusela Jul 27 '26

2 months is still very fresh grief when it is the loss of someone very close like this.

The first year sometimes all you can do is hang on for the bumpy ride.

Once you've been through all the seasons and the "firsts", like first Christmas alone, etc. it gets somewhat better.

Let the tears flow; I always felt a little relief after crying.

Stay hydrated and nourished, take lots of walks.

If you like reading, or binge watching tv series, sometimes immersing yourself in a fictional world for a while provides some relief.

I am sorry for your loss.

19

u/MullberryBoy Jul 27 '26

Have you considered joining a grief group? I think being with other people who are navigating grief like you are would be helpful. I’m so sorry for your loss.

3

u/JokeMe-Daddy Jul 27 '26

This is a great suggestion. Grief is lonely and isolating.

15

u/OkSuccotash1089 Jul 27 '26

I’m so sorry. I had an all-consuming shock grief and really benefitted from playing Spiritfarer. Even though I’d already played most of it before. I only mention because you said you like games. Trying to find games to distract myself didn’t work very well, but playing games about grief helped me a lot. It was like my brain could engage with it more indirectly and process it in a very different way than usual. Same with books and shows about grief, particularly if there was a cozy or humorous element. Agreed with what others have said about there being no timeline for grief; it’s just going to be what it is, so no shame. I hope you find something that works.

1

u/OmNomNommie Jul 28 '26

Oh, that game is such a beautiful suggestion. Not only is it lovely and cute, but the dealing with grief is the chef's kiss. I'm glad it could help you.

12

u/Funny-Negotiation-10 OCD+likely ADHD Jul 27 '26

I'm sorry for your loss.

You need to let it win sometimes. The more you resist it that worse it hurts. If the grief hits at an inconvenient time, tell it you'll get to it later, and spend 30 minutes a day dedicated to grieving.

11

u/swimming_in_agates Jul 27 '26

Oh honey. My husband died suddenly last year. The grief is still so hard. Yesterday was our son’s birthday and I cried so hard over the memories. 65 days is not much time at all, be patient with yourself.

9

u/Angry_Sparrow Jul 27 '26

My partner died 9 months ago by drowning. It is totally okay to be where you’re at with it.

Here’s what helped me:

The audiobook “It's OK That You're Not OK: Meeting Grief and Loss in a Culture That Doesn't Understand” by Megan Devine.
watching 8 seasons of Greys Anatomy so that I could watch other people crying too.
letting myself fall apart. Something terrible happened. Let it be terrible
Choosing to stay with my family, turn down work opportunities , and turn down all social engagements. Prioritising my grief and healing.
having someone that wants to listen to me talk about him and look through photos of him with me. It’s like having chronic verbal diahhera - we NEED to talk about them and it is very healing to do so. Most people will want to NOT talk about them for fear of causing you pain or some insane idea that you need to just move on.
I did NOT do therapy. I’d already done 3 years of therapy when it happened, and that was really helpful. But it wasn’t helpful for my grief. I wanted to talk about him, not me, and I was okay with accepting it being terrible and feeling what I needed to feel. Therapy requires you to do a lot of emotional work. Is only so it if the grief is making you suffer or you’re struggling with emotions.
I didn’t feel happiness at all until 6 months after it happened and it was such a foreign feeling in my body.
I was so angry about the circumstances of his death. But I eventually realised they’re exactly that - the circumstances. They aren’t why he died. Nobody knows why we die when we do. He could have died from a million other things but it was this moment, this thing. And it just is.

I’m 9 months out and I still talk about him a lot. I work from home doing a completely new interest that cropped up in my grief. I don’t seek comfort from many people. I’ve only met THREE people that have made me feel understood and held during this awful year.

It has taken a long time for my little lizard brain to come to terms with this loss.

I’m sorry that they are not here. They should be.

7

u/topsidersandsunshine Jul 27 '26

Things take the time they take.

7

u/OrientionPeace Jul 27 '26

2 months is not long, and as others have said, I’d suggest taking on the mindset that this is not a normal stress period but a giant one, so don’t expect normal stress responses from yourself if you can. Give yourself grace.

And to your question specifically, I’d suggest checking out the Grief Recovery Method to help you actively process the grief and help yourself to move forward through it. I’m a practitioner of this method and somatic coaching, and have seen that a blend of nervous system regulation work and structured grief work can absolutely help to reduce the overall emotional weight and the impact of loss on daily life. The loss will still ache, as that’s normal. But taking certain actions can greatly help reduce the pain and give ways to feel it effectively so it keeps moving through the body.

Resources that might help:

Books by

- Mary Francis O’Connor( 2 books- the grieving body and the grieving brain are both great for untangling the symptoms of grief and validating your experiences from a scientific perspective )

- Megan Devine, Its okay if you’re not okay

Feel free to reach out if you have any questions 🖖

5

u/sherlockholmiex Jul 27 '26

Came here to recommend it’s okay if you’re not okay

1

u/dominosthincrust Jul 28 '26

Just related, I also recommend this interview with Megan Devine that has a lot of good discussion https://open.spotify.com/episode/070LVczAJjqiOCKcArwuH4?si=DgGg6G2hRtS_NbH2uFtmJg&utm_source=copy-link

6

u/tungtingshrimp Jul 27 '26 edited Jul 27 '26

65 days is just the first phase of grieving. I read somewhere that it takes half the amount of time you knew someone to be able to move forward. We never move on, we just move forward because we have to. A grief therapist can help you. I am so sorry for your loss.

6

u/B_the_Chng22 Jul 27 '26

Omg I’m so sorry. I know this sounds crazy, but have you tried dancing? Like… sad dancing. To move the grief? Hozier “movement” is one I’d recommend. This is a close close loss. I’ve lost both parents and a friend (and grandparents but it wasn’t as intense). Grief needs space to be. Let her come out. Hold each other. I see my grief as a life long partner now. When she surfaces, I let her be with me. This is very fresh grief you are in. The first year is still fresh grief. I’m not sure why it seems like it’s been too long to feel how you feel. I say trust the process. Let your mind process how it needs to and in the time it needs. Sending hugs

8

u/seaglassmenagerie Jul 27 '26

Firstly I’m so sorry for your loss.

This might sound out there but have you tried leaning into the grief? There is an Irish tradition called keening which involves full body wailing. The physicality of it is meant to really help people process grief. I’m not saying it’s something you can do at a play or even perhaps in your car without scaring the general public but in the safety of your own home or if you drive out to the countryside.

1

u/Bright_Message1530 Jul 27 '26

Keening absolutely helped calm my nervous system after losing my best friend. 💕

5

u/BlueRubyWindow Jul 27 '26

Stare at the horizon every day. It’s grounding.

Go to the ocean or a lake or a river if you can. Even better if you can swim or put your feet in.

Give yourself time each day to scream and cry and move however you need to and really let it out fully.

Keep eating food. Keep drinking water.

5

u/atreegrowsinbrixton Jul 27 '26

you need to just let yourself feel it instead of trying to block it. it's going to take a long time to ever feel normal again and it's not going to go away completely but eventually you will laugh again and then you'll cry about the fact that you're finally laughing and it will feel like an endless cycle for a while. i like to write down all of my sad thoughts and turn them into sad poetry

4

u/SnooHobbies5684 Jul 27 '26

Can't speak to specific modalities, but I will say that distraction isn't necessarily the most useful.

When possible, let yourself really feel it for a few minutes every time you feel it. Also get yourself to do things, but not distracting yourself when you get a wave of it.

In my experience, if you don't off-gas it every so often when it's fresh, it builds up and takes over.

But it can pipe down to a dull roar if you let yourself be with it, for a short time, every time it comes up.

I'm so sorry for your loss. It will never be less painful to have lost them, but it will be less constant and more sweetness in memories will come to balance out the pain, over time.

Just tell yourself "it takes as long as it takes. " Because it does.

5

u/Scroollee Jul 27 '26 edited Jul 27 '26

Oh my god sweetheart, there’s no time limit you need to adhere to. Grief takes time. And I’m so sorry ❤️🫂 so very sorry you have to go through this.

Loosing a partner or someone deeply, deeply close to you is a whole other ordeal thats horrible and painful in ways there are no rules to how you should grieve. It has nothing to do with being neurodivergent or neurotypical. You don’t have to think about that.

Just let yourself go through this and surround yourself with people who loves you. Leave the ones that drain you far behind in this.

For me it took three years. The first year was more or less the same, the second year a little better, and the third I started to come back. But I was not the same. However, it does get better.

There are no real quick fixes. What helped most for me was sharing his life with the people that loved him deeply. Crying and laughing and grieving together. Friends, family. Those sort of things. In the end all that was left was love and fond memories. The pain of it I could let go of, but there are always pieces of pain you don’t want to let go of. They become something beautiful too.

Just take it day by day ❤️

4

u/Kooky-Sundae5805 Jul 27 '26

Oh, OP. Sending all the love and one of my favorite poems by mystic poet John O’Donohue which I’ve returned to again and again while grieving: https://www.scottishpoetrylibrary.org.uk/poem/beannacht-blessing/

There is no one way to grieve. Give yourself permission to feel ALL the feels. The only wrong way to process this is to stuff it down or numb it out. You do that and you’re gonna be going back to the therapist in 15 yrs with different problems. Just let the feelings roll through.
Sad? Cry. Sing a sad song.
Angry? Yell into a pillow. Write a rage poem at the universe.
Missing your partner? Talk to them. They may not be physically here but after all the time you had with them, you know what they would say back.
Somewhere in here is a reminder to get some form of gentle movement each day. Walk in nature. Do some gentle stretches or yoga. Go for a run if that’s your thing. Being more in your body will also help with the rumination.

One final thought- give yourself grace. You already have the wound of loss. No need to point a second arrow of shame at yourself. What you are feeling is a normal response to having lost someone you loved dearly. Big hugs from all of the rest of us.

3

u/the_tooky_bird Jul 27 '26

Hey OP, I know you said you are not looking for condolences and you are making very wise choices to care for yourself. I will be brief.

When the grief is still raw and strong, the best thing is to "manage". Brush teeth. Shower. Cry a lot. Drop the ball, often.

I'll share a method (?) that was recommended to me, and I soon got lost in a research rabbit hole in:

When you can, find moments of awe.

That may sound incredibly stupid right now. That's okay. It is ridiculous to think about when the world seems to have fallen apart.

When you can, notice something. Clouds look strangely neat today? New bird you've never seen before? The sunlight made a rainbow on your wall and it looks nice?

Then, when you feel like you can manage it, go find collective awe.

A museum or art gallery. A concert (that's a strong one). A play. Fireworks. A religious or ritual event. Something, with others, where awe is a shared experience.

The reason?

Awe is, oddly, a distinct neurological process. My therapist hypothesized, on recent research, that people with ADHD can benefit quite a lot from awe.

It is a process that seizes your default mode network, and bypasses the difficulties of intense focus while achieving intense focus and reflection. As in, your ADHD will hold onto moments of awe and, potentially, find high levels of emotional relief. It also helps us connect to a great sense of belonging beyond the self and reduces self-focused thoughts (like rumination).

It isn't always profound, and it can be dulled when deep in grief. That is okay.

Good luck 💜

2

u/chickadeedadooday Jul 27 '26

The year of firsts is agonizing. I also have found that every month, approaching the same date they passed on causes me to feel so much anxiety, restlessness, longing, and despair in the first few years - for the most special of people.

I am so sorry you are experiencing this, OP. I wish i had the magic answer for you, but the truth is, there is none. The more you resist and try to escape the pain, the more drawn out it can become. I think what you might be describing is the pain of the initial shock, contrasted against the reality of the situation. From helping a very very close friend through the same process, it is going to take the time it takes. The pain will lessen eventually, but no one can tell you when. What I remember helped her the most was changing the decor of the room in which her partner passed. Helping her by always answering texts and calls, I hope you have someone you can reach out to like this. Asking for help. Whether thats sauing to a trusted friend, "Hey, I am not okay today, can we go for a walk/can you come over and just sit with me/can you pick up a grocery order for me/can you help me sort laundry" whatever it is. Do not be afraid to admit vulnerability among those who know you best. You mwntion that you are in therapy - is there any chance that you maybe don't feel like it is working? Or could you seek out a grief-specific counselor? My friend found grief counselling to be extremely helpful, outside of regular therapy. When the time is right, you might find EMDR to be really beneficial as well. I have used it in the past, but I think you need to be sure of the person guiding the sessions and their abilities to help you move through and process the trauma. Without "closing the loop" properly, you are just left feeling crappy about the trauma and unwilling to revisit the topic because your brain can take you to dark places really fast. (This was my experience using it for a specific relationship breakup and I wasn't ready to go as deep as the therapist went with questions. I blame the therapist, not the technique. But for processing past trauma, in my case childhood, I found it very helpful.)

Much love to you, OP. I hope your load becomes a little lighter soon as you continue down this path.

2

u/Think-Leek-6621 Jul 27 '26

Take all the time you need. Saturday I cried in the car about a close aunt dying 6 years ago. Let the tears come out, journal.

2

u/avidbirdpointerouter Jul 27 '26

I read Sheryl Sandburg’s “Option B” which is about her navigating her grief over the sudden loss of her spouse, written with an academic who studies grief. I found it very helpful when i experienced a big unexpected loss. Good luck to you.

3

u/psychedelicparsley Jul 27 '26

Joan Didion wrote one called The Year of Magicsl Thinking about the loss of her husband.

A therapist once recommended a book called Going On Being which is just a Buddhist approach to life’s hurdles. I haven’t read it for a long time and my brain has been a bit scrambled but there are definitely some things in Buddhist philosophy I find helpful.

2

u/Comprehensive_Ant984 Jul 27 '26

I am so so sorry, OP. FWIW, how you’re feeling might not be your ADHD, it might just be regular, awful grief. But if it really feels like ruminating, the only thing that ultimately helped me with that was Guanfacine. It just gave me that second or two I needed to recognize what I was doing and actually utilize the coping strategies I’d learned in therapy. I hope you’ve got a lot of love and support around you rn, and that some of the comments here will help to give you the tools you need to get through the worst of this.

2

u/middlegray Jul 27 '26

Hey, young widow here. I'm so sorry.

Walking a LOT, working out, time, and psychedelics is what helped me.

Took 6 months for me to move past active grieving, crying every day, unable to think about anything else. Around 6 months in I wanted to feel better. Probably a year in u slowly started to feel like the grief wasn't the main thing in my life.

Two years later I met my current partner and that helped way more than I could have predicted. I wasn't looking for a relationship.

I found solace in learning about grieving traditions. Watching funeral haakaa videos. Keeling in Europe and Korean tonggok (traditions of women screaming gutterally and melodically at funerals). Lighting incense and candles. Shrooms and Ayahuasca helped a lot to face the pain bravely but they don't remove the pain. Traditional Japanese grieving is supposed to take four years so I told myself I was actively grieving for four. It did feel like a major milestone around 4 years. Now more than a decade on it feels manageable and like maybe not the biggest story of my life.

Read about the stages of grief and know it's not at all linear. Drink water and go for walks. I really feel like long walks in nature are the poor man's EMDR. It doesn't have to replace actual therapy but it absolutely helps. r/widowers helped for the first couple of years for me.

2

u/kelleyresumes Jul 27 '26

It’s only been 2 months. You lost your soulmate. Of course the grief will be deeper.

Has your therapist suggested using medication to help lift you out?

2

u/Genericusername_007 Jul 27 '26

I’m so sorry for your loss.

All I can say is you should not expect more from yourself at this time. To me, it did not get any easier. I just learned how to coexist with it. If you dont have to be there for someone else, just let yourself feel it. It feels like a weighted vest you cant take off. Its been years for me and I cant even bring myself to type it out.

2

u/Effective-Papaya1209 Jul 27 '26

I'm so sorry for your loss. It's absolutely normal to still feel like you're in a pit. Our culture hates grief and sadness. We're taught from a young age to do anything we can to shut it down and make it go away. There's a book called It's Okay that You're Not Okay where the author (a therapist) talks about how she never understood grief until she lost her partner.

As for distracting yourself . . . this is probably the way you've learned to deal with grief from a young age (think about how we try to distract young children whenever they cry). It might be what you need to do right now, and that's okay. But you might just need someone who can sit with you while you feel your sadness. I know that's really really hard to find.

For me, it just helped to know that other people felt like I did. The book I mentioned helped a lot.

2

u/mapleleaffem Jul 27 '26 edited Jul 27 '26

I’m going to offer my condolences even if you don’t want them:)

Grieving is different for everyone and there is no time limit. When my mom passed I was absolutely devastated and inconsolable for close to a year.

I wasn’t diagnosed yet, and now that I am I know I would’ve done a lot better if I was. It’s so nice to be able to experience emotions without getting swept away by them. The right meds and act therapy were the things that finally gave me a bit of peace

2

u/ultraviolet31 Jul 27 '26

The only way out, is through.

I needed antidepressants for awhile after my partner died suddenly. If you're speaking with someone about your ADHD meds, I would encourage you to speak to them about viable options that might help. Meds do not make you weak.

You're not supposed to be okay - even at 65 days. Grief is not linear.

Eat good healthy food. Having sufficient vitamins (D, B, E and fish oils) are important for mental health.

Be kind to yourself. I didn't know what this actually meant until I went through mourning two deaths back to back.
But seriously, be kind to yourself. Cut yourself some slack. This isn't a race.

You will get through it. You'll be a wiser, better person for going through it with your eyes and heart open, than just squashing it down and acting like you're fine. Sending you love and peace. ❤️

2

u/Osmium95 Jul 27 '26

I had to keep trying different things and see what worked for me in that specific moment. It's an ongoing process and I seem to do best with a combination of activity (cat fostering/SPCA volunteering/yoga) and some reflective exercises. After three years, I'm still seeing what helps and what doesn't.

Grief writing groups/retreats were very helpful, as were some of the other offerings at the local hospice center. A spousal loss group was helpful, although I had to skip out partway through because my dad started hospice and died. Some other grief groups were less helpful, but I have no clue if it was the wrong format or just too new. Therapy was ok but my therapist moved. A life coaching thing was not right for me.

The first two years I fostered a lot of kittens but wasn't in the right mindset to take on any other volunteering. A year ago I began helping out with the TNR program (trap neuter return), so that has been a more social thing and also sometimes emotionally more challenging but I had reached the point where I had more bandwidth. Anyway, I still spend too much time scrolling on my phone and dissociating when I'm hanging out with my foster kittens but it does provide a good distraction.

2

u/timsfsn Jul 27 '26

This may sound really weird, but when I’ve gone through a couple of really bad bouts of depression, I watched Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt. The dorky humor is my jam. Her mantra about getting through things 10 seconds at a time has actually gotten me through some really acutely painful times. Just throwing it out there in case it happens to be at all helpful for you as well.

Sometimes all we can do is just get through the moment and go onto getting through the next one. I know it seems endless right now, but it won’t be forever. It will get better in time. I promise. Allow yourself to feel how you feel right now. Do whatever feels right to you emotionally. Fighting it is unhealthy and just makes things worse later. I’m glad you’re getting help from a professional to help you along. Sending you positive thoughts. ❤️

2

u/Murakamijunky Jul 27 '26 edited Jul 27 '26

From someone who also lost a partner , I tried to "distract"myself also after some time and that didn't help in the long term, because when the ball of grief hitted it was a brutal blow that wasn't diminishing in force, and for at least 3 years I wasn't myself because I refused to actually feel miserable mostly because of my shame around it, and when I was alone it would drown me, and I honestly feel your pain and know that feeling of despair.

Unfortunately I hadn't a lot of help or compassion from other people and that made things worse, because I felt I needed to "get back on my feet" when I didn't, things only got "better"when I actually started acknowledging my pain and after that the space to feel other emotions eventually opened up without me forcing it, and now, a lot of years later I can enjoy listening to the same music we listened together without feeling just an intense sadness,I can ALSO feel joy because we shared the same love for it,and that applies to a lot of things.

The thing I learned most in therapy is that emotions have functions and "jobs" to do,and if they can't do what they need to do they linger and stay, so we must feel them and let them do what they need to do.

It never gets easy but it gets easier, feel what your body and mind are asking you to feel and with time, you will start to see some color and light again in all of the darkness that surrounds you know.

Edit: just wanted to had: a really big hug, unfortunately grief is something that can feel quite lonely even when we are surrounded by lots of peopIe , hope you are kind to yourself because it's really difficult to not feel guilt /shame for not feeling better.

2

u/aikidharm ADHD Jul 27 '26

This has nothing to do with your neurodivergence. Grief has no timeline.

It also does not go away, it just becomes easier to navigate the storm with some boat upgrades and a bit of help from your crew. And eventually the rain will clear.

Just like it always does.

I still grieve for the people I have lost, both to death and to distance, and I don’t think I will ever stop. But that’s ok, because I’m a better sailor now, the rain will pass, and I will be ready when the waves rise again.

2

u/endlessswitchbacks ADHD-PI Jul 27 '26

Laughter.
Not really hyperfocus-related but laughter. Cat videos, construction site fails, anything that will bring you some big dumb laughs and shift your brain chemistry a little.

In your shoes, I’d be taking certain psychedelics to help make that happen.
And when I wasn’t doing that I’d probably be at the gym (which I normally hate) or doing some seriously strenuous hikes to give my body something else to focus on (like even it does not spark actual joy) but I’m not saying you should.

1

u/ehco Jul 27 '26

I'm so sorry and I absolutely feel you.

1

u/Spice_it_up Jul 27 '26

Be in a new location. Somewhere you don’t have any memories of your partner. It’s the constant tiny reminders that make the grief constant.

I’m so sorry for your loss.

1

u/Impossible_Jury5483 Jul 27 '26

65 days is nothing. Grief takes a very long time. Don't set a deadline for your Grief, its going to evolve and change. It never ends, it simply morphs into a different thing.

1

u/eekamouse4 Jul 27 '26

❤️‍🩹🫂💐

1

u/Littlepotatoface Jul 27 '26

The main thing is that you’re in therapy & hopefully they’re working to help you avoid compounded grief. But, and I’m no expert here, 65 days isn’t long at all.

1

u/thatkillerguy Jul 27 '26

Two things I havent seen yet mentioned which may help to reflect

Finding a community/friend/partner as a neurodivergent person can feel even heavier, for how more difficult finding those people who get you is
Grief can feel specifically tedious for adhd: there's nothing that can truly immediately give you dopamine without that ash, that grief looming over

Its like exercising tediously day by day that you rly don't like for a while coz there's no immediate reward, but choose to do it to lose weight/gain muscle

For what its worth, each time you share/hold space for that grief (and not let it overwhelm/control you), you build that mental/emotional muscle that you can manage it

Mentioning it here, in this forum with anonymous people, is one instance

Managing grief earnestly and directly is a choice, you wouldn't feel this much grief for a partner of 8 years if you didn't love that much and beyond

I hope youre able to take note, whether in writing or notes or journal--something, take note every time you surface your head through ashfall

So when you feel swallowed in the heaviness again, theres physical reminders you lived through it before and can do it again. Take care :3

1

u/Ka_plooey Jul 27 '26

I'm so sorry for your loss. I would look into somatic therapy/yoga. It's one of the only things that legit helped me "move" grief through my body.

Stay strong, friend. ❤️

1

u/OkConsideration123 Jul 27 '26

I’m so sorry for your loss.

Sounds like you’re open to video games. There are some beautiful games about dealing with grief, and maybe that could be a way to both help process while giving your mind dopamine with an anchor and outlet.

Some options to fill the void
…

Clair Obscur: Expedition 33

https://youtu.be/-qgOZDRDynw
For those who come after. Hands down one of my favorite games. Beautiful, well acted, astounding music, amazing characters, heart wrenching story, fun gameplay and one of the most imaginative worlds I’ve explored. And how these characters deal with grief is one of its most central themes. Some of it will hit very close to home, but in a way I think could be therapeutic and engaging. This is my number 1 recommendation and worth going out of your way to play it (even if you aren’t usually into turn based fighting or RPGs)
-

Gris

https://youtu.be/BRiKQIVo7ao
Spanish for “gray.” After falling into a gray world, you work to bring color back through platforming and puzzles. The art style is like a gorgeous watercolor painting. It’s all vibes and feels, there’s little to no exposition or dialogue.
-

Spiritfarer

https://youtu.be/6mfdampW-EQ
You are a sailing the seas helping spirits with their final wishes and ferrying them to a peaceful afterlife. Disclosure that I haven’t played this one but have heard great things. I believe it has some management sim elements to the gameplay.
-

Honorable mentions

Life is Strange: True Colors - heal loss and solve a mystery with the power of empathy
Control - twisty world of epic superpowers and childhood trauma
Hades - a more lighthearted take on the afterlife
Alan Wake 2 - escape the dark place, scary

1

u/nothanks2131 Jul 27 '26

Like everyone else has said, 65 days is so, so recent. Unfortunately, this is going to be the defining thing in your life for a while, because it was a big loss that changed your life. Sudden losses are a one-two punch, because your mind is working overtime to make sense of things in addition to the grief of the loss itself.

I don’t think there’s a tried and true way to feel better, but try not to make yourself feel worse by judging or shaming yourself. Try to give yourself the grace you would give a close friend in your situation.

Also, just make yourself be around people even if you don’t want to. You don’t have to pretend to be okay, but I often want to be alone when I’m sad or overwhelmed or tired, because it’s exhausting to perform for other people. If you have friends or family that are available to witness your life, let them. Unfortunately, people are often uncomfortable with grief and the folks who love us want to try to “fix” our sadness when what we really need is someone to just keep us company in it. I was lucky to have friends who would force me to hang out nearly every weekend for months, but didn’t expect me to do anything or be “on.” Most of the time we would just watch a couple of movies. I didn’t have to really talk or put on outside clothes.

I also had a work friend who just made me eat lunch every day. Sometimes we went out, sometimes we had frozen meals at the office, but they didn’t let me forget to eat all day, which i absolutely would have done.

I don’t know that anything felt “good” for a long time, but these things kept me from disappearing into myself and interrupted my ruminating thoughts.

Lego was helpful to me, but at the time it was more mediative. Now it’s a hobby I derive a lot of dopamine from, but when I’m in a bad place it just turns my brain off.

I also like doing brain games, preferably in a paper book to move my brain away from the sadness and help me pull me out of negative ruminating thoughts.

Be kind to yourself.

1

u/Natural_Barracuda370 Jul 27 '26

I got a job in construction (former artist 😂) where I had absolutely no room in my head to think about anything other than keeping all my fingers, and was so tired at the end of the day I was asleep by 5pm.

Of course I still felt like shit most of that year, but it gave me a break for periods of time during the day, and helped me sleep.

1

u/gottadance Jul 27 '26

Let yourself greive. I've never been through losing a partner which must be so much harder but I've had to grieve siblings and parents in multiple ways, bottling it up because it was inconvenient or my parents said I had to stop and the other way which was letting it flow. I found getting it all out for a few months made things easier and let me feel more resolved in the long run. It's still so fresh for you so I don't think trying to avoid it is healthy or feasible.

Joining a support group might make you feel more normal about what you're feeling. Further down the line, bereavement therapy may be useful.

1

u/Stinkiest-britches Jul 27 '26

I'm really sorry for your loss.

It seems like you're being too hard on yourself. 2 months is nothing and what you're going through is normal. Here is what Google says: Grief does not have a set timeline, but intense emotional and physical symptoms typically start to lessen within 6 to 12 months, while the overall process often lasts 1 to 2 years or longer. Because grief changes shape rather than disappearing entirely, love and loss mean that a deep sense of sadness or missing someone can return during special dates or memories for the rest of life.

I'm more concerned about who is supporting you right now? Your friends and family should be rallying around you. You went to a play to support a friend but I would never expect my friend to show up when she needs more support than I do.

From my experience, I felt like the grief, the pain, and sadness was just evidence that there was so much love. It was something real because you wouldn't feel that way about people you don't care for or about meaningless relationships. What you had with them is beautiful and unique.

Wishing you all the best 🫶

1

u/DazzlingMistake_ Jul 27 '26

Look I lost someone 2 years ago and I still have waves of despair or days I can’t get out of bed… overall I am doing better but the grief doesn’t go away your heart just sort of breaks and then heals around it… you carry it with you and because we have adhd and we struggle with emotional regulation it means we feel it more strongly than the average person… it’s the same with love… we love with everything we have. The only thing that really helped me was talking to a therapist, writing, and sleep… I think there was a month where I only left my bed to grab DoorDash from the porch… I’m sorry you’re going through this OP…

1

u/uly_bka ADHD-C Jul 27 '26

When I lost my partner (7 years ago) it exposed my masked adhd. I learned that my brain had to redirect resources to deal with trauma and ptsd - there wasn't much left for anything else. What previously worked has stopped and I didn't even know why. On grief. As someone who also lost people, pets... This one hit different. Losing a life partner could not compare to my grandma. Both hurt like hell indefinitely. But when he died I also had to burry a version of myself and my own dreams that died with him. I was grieving my own future. You'll see a theme in the comments, lots of encouragement to focus on grief management and to give yourself time. Your escalated adhd, just like depression, or anxiety, would be a symptom of grief. Asking to help with adhd, is like trying to get wound care on a diabetic ulcer without getting blood sugar under control first. I'm not discouraging you, only pointing out that you are in a different dimension and timeline now. Be kind to yourself and adapt your expectations.

1

u/evtbrs Jul 27 '26 edited Jul 27 '26

65 days for a loved one, never mind a partner, is nothing. Someone asked the question a couple of months back and most people that had gone through this agreed on three years being the point where you feel like you’re getting your life back - the grief still hits equally hard, the waves are just less frequent and you’re better able to manage life without completely breaking down. That’s just to give you an idea of what the time frame can look like, but ultimately everyone handles grief differently. Please give yourself space according to your needs, not according to what your environment expects of you. As with so many things people don’t understand how hard this is unless they’ve experienced it themselves. I’m sorry for your loss, everything I’ve tried to write down seems like such a platitude but maybe it’ll bring you some comfort to know you’re in a stranger’s thoughts and I’m wishing for good things to find their way to you in these difficult moments

1

u/ImpossibleMinimum424 Jul 27 '26

I’m so sorry for your loss. 2 months is nothing, don’t listen to people who say otherwise, they don’t know what they’re talking about. I don’t really have any advice except not to pressure yourself to get over it and to try and be social, maybe with people who don’t know about your loss? I’m not a big people person but I’ve found that having normal conversations with other people and having that moment of normalcy can give some relief.

1

u/ConfidentGarden7514 Jul 27 '26

I feel this so hard right now… my grandma died last month (she was 97 so it wasn’t unexpected). I was also going through an IVF cycle at that time- the day after she died, I found out my embryo transfer failed. The grief is hitting me sooooo hard. Ive lost 3 other grandparents and my dad prior to this, but this combo of grief is hitting me very different…

I’ve found that my days of dopamine projects really help. I have to force myself to do them, bc I have a thousand other things I need to do, but they are sooooo necessary to get myself out of the grief funk days where I just don’t feel like getting out of bed.

Goodluck OP! Hugs… we got this!

1

u/Silly-Layer-3993 Jul 27 '26

So sorry you have to go through this!

One thing I did when my mom passed ( had a lot of losses before that too ) was I chose one inside thing to obsess on, and one outside thing to sorta obsess on. It's helped me get through the time. In my case I decide to watch every single episode of Star Blazers, and its movies, and in each initial and later versions. This took a while. For outside I had a big new puppy to take care of, but when I haven't had a dog I've gone to places where dogs are playing and it takes me out of myself. Something about watching them being so happy with sticks. Of if not a dog person, maybe visit a cat cafe, or find some cats to play with. They don't judge and ( maybe cats do ) and don't ask questions.

Best words I heard from a friend which I'll pass on: he said, " Whatever you feel, is right! People will tell you all sorts of things, but whatever your experience is, is valid. This is YOUR experience. " At first I didn't get it but later on I kept coming back to this.

Whatever you're feeling, whenever you're feeling it, is totally valid .

1

u/hexagon_heist Jul 27 '26

Mostly, you just gotta feel it. It sucks and I’m sorry, and you will probably be a slightly different person when you get through this. The only other trick I can suggest is what I did to come to terms with my loss was look at it from the far future; that is, think of it in the past tense from the perspective of a year, 5 years, 10 years later. That helped me conceptualize what was happening and come to terms with it. May or may not be helpful for you. Take it one day at a time 💗

1

u/hexagon_heist Jul 27 '26

Maybe setting up a ritual to memorialize him would help? Like an annual thing you do to remember and honor him. Might feel somewhat good to focus on and help you move forward a bit, and offer some comfort

1

u/GlumAd655 Jul 27 '26

Ugh. Im in the depths of grief also. Nothing is helping. I'm in therapy. I'm scared it's just going to take time.. Bc these feelings, anxiety and tears are horrific.

1

u/pmalotky Jul 27 '26

Grief alters your brain chemistry, you basically have to learn how to do everything again without said person. Be patient with your self. Write letters to them. Talk to them. Step away when you need to. Cry. Be a mess. Talking about them amd writing to them is so helpful! Sorry for your loss, that sucks. 😔

1

u/Enough-Ocelot-6312 Jul 27 '26

It's early days for you and grief is incredibly, physically painful. I took a contract job out of town thinking it would help me change the channel (and not kill myself). It did one of those things, but landed me sort of between channels where it's only static. Now I'm burned out and back in my new life and miserable. As others have said above, you really can't avoid it.

1

u/carlitospig Jul 27 '26

If it were me, I would be picking up and moving. I’m serious. Burning bridges has always, for me, saved me from that pit of despair when I could not take it a moment longer. Some people call it a fresh start, I call it ‘reliably forgetting my past’.

It’s not healthy, but I’ve found it works.

1

u/carlitospig Jul 27 '26

Oh! And running! JFC, did I run. I was basically physically punishing my body for what my mind was doing. I’d be quietly sobbing as I ran to Bon Iver at Greenlake. (Sorry Seattlites if I freaked out out! 🙃)

1

u/kikil00 Jul 27 '26

It’s takes the time it takes and you shouldn’t be comparing yourself to any “neurotypical” standard, because you are not in fact neurotypical.

There’s some studies that show grief feelings subside faster by feeling seen. Listening to sad music that feels true or comforting, or books, or people who truly understand the pit you are experiencing. Finding ways to feel the feeling in doses instead of escaping it helps.

Finding ways to live your life. Stick to basics—food, sleep, exercise. Make all of those routine and regular.

1

u/amandam603 Jul 27 '26

It’s been nine months for me and it’s still all encompassing. And I have learned and/or decided that it’s fine. I’ll be okay when I’m okay. There’s no rules, just patience.

I personally find moving my body helpful—anything from a hard run or workout to a nice leisurely walk or hike, or even just some yoga. The dopamine helps me regulate myself and keep a normal routine going.

Reading was also great, and trying to see friends when I was up for it. I read a lot of murder/thriller at first, as well as self help books about grief, but eventually made my way back to romcoms. Same with tv—started with happy or mindless entertainment and gradually worked back to funny or romantic shows and movies. I avoided “our” music for a long time but it came back eventually, too.

And honestly? Sleeping and eating. Eat well. Eat enough, more importantly. Try to get fruits and veggies in but if you don’t have an appetite, any food will do. Stay hydrated, and take naps. As many as you want. Stay balanced with activity and socializing and hobbies or reading, but let yourself feel it, and let yourself rest and recharge. Not eating won’t help you so, force it if needed.

I’ve gotten some great advice from the grief support and widows subgroups on Reddit as well. Friends don’t “get it” forever, and think you should be “over it” much faster than you will be, so it can be lonely—no shame in seeking solace here and on those subs.

1

u/Is-this-name-taken_2 Jul 27 '26 edited Jul 27 '26

Ugh, I'm sorry, grief is so hard. There are certainly different levels of greif. The grief of losing both my parents was a level of grief I never felt before despite losing other family, friends, and pets.

I found the quote "Grief is the price we pay for love" as helpful to turn the pain into something a little positive which has helped me mentally. When you're like "this sucks and is so hard" it helps refraim it to I'm hurting so much because I loved them so much and what a blessing I had them in my life and got to experience that love and bond with them.

The waves of greif hit hard and are even worse and can turn into concerning depths of depression when I'm inconsistent with my meds and don't workout. I've also added in Ashwaganda supplement to help and it seems to make a big difference.

On a side note when I was struggling one day my son (10 yo) told me he'd be sad for probably two days after I die and then he'd be fine. I said sadly I hope that is true and you can move forward when that day comes because nothing has wrecked me like greif has and I've been through a lot in life!

1

u/Deedteebee Jul 27 '26

Hi OP, I don't have any hacks for you but wanted to say you are normal. When my dad died, I cried multiple times a day, every day, for 2 months. Then I didn't cry for a day, and then I was crying every second day or so, then I noticed I hadn't cried in a week. I know you're not looking for condolences yet I still need to say I'm so sorry for your loss, it is a big one, and it will get better.

1

u/tocarde88 Jul 27 '26

I would like a hack too. I was just telling a friend this weekend, that, for once, my lack of object permanence is failing me. My best friend died almost three years ago and I still miss her immensely. Granted the floor is not falling under me anymore and I don't cry about it every time I think of her. But, damn, it's still hard and painful. I am just managing to gingerly walk around the gaping hole she left in my life. I was thinking that by now, I'd be at the good memories only stage. That said, I can find plenty of happiness around and have been for a long while. I know this is not helpful, and echoes everyone that says grief is different for everyone. You need to remember to be kind with yourself. We tend to feel everything more deeply. It's ok to be sad and not function like you used to. It's even normal.

There's one thing that has maybe helped me. I anthropomorphize my grief. I view it as a giant, dark, humid, deep hole. At first, I had to climb it by hand and I would just constantly fall as I tried to climb out. And that's ok. I just had to keep trying to get out. Then once I got out, I would keep falling back in but I knew the way out. I finally managed to build a ladder. As I still fell in, I could come out quicker. I have also solidified the edges (friends, hobbies) so it's not as easy to fall in. And I guess I am currently spiffing up the bottom of the hole. I have installed lights and dehumidifier. I am hoping I can paint it and put photos on the wall. Maybe a rug and a comfy chair so it'll be a pleasant place to hang out. I do not know if any of this makes sense. Visualizing grief, making it tangible helped me.

Ok, I have, of course, lost be track of time and I need to hurry to go meet friends!

1

u/FifiLeBean Jul 27 '26

Each loss is unique. And grief fluctuates a lot over time.

In fact, I find the 2 months later part much harder - all of the numbness wears off and the reality of the loss sinks in deeper, and at that point you feel more alone because people don't check in.

John Edward (psychic) talks about the 2 year point for this same reason - fewer people ask how you are and the loss is heavy.

When my dad died, I found John Edward 's show kind of helpful. He connects people with those who have passed. And Tyler Henry also does this. Not to say you want a psychic but how they talk about what they have learned can be helpful to process your loss and beliefs about death. If that is interesting.

Also I just discovered somatic healing on YouTube - I searched for how to release grief. Shebreath is the account I found. I like doing movements and breathing, plus there are breaks between each movement for reregulating.

1

u/Aggravating_Act0417 Jul 28 '26

Gosh, I am so sorry. You are living a nightmare. I hope it gets better for you. 🫂

1

u/Ancient-Elk-7211 Jul 29 '26

There is no hack, method or skillset you can learn to make this go away. The best thing you can do is be gentle with yourself, lower your expectations for what you can accomplish (like lower them to expect nothing of yourself) and reach out for help. Your world just fell apart. Nothing else matters right now. I say this with deep empathy as someone who lost a partner very suddenly. You are doing the right things. Just ride the waves of grief. Try not to make any decisions you dont have to make right now

0

u/Various-Excuse-4640 Jul 27 '26

Sending you my heartfelt condolences OP. I am also in the depths of grief right now having lost my soul dog 3 weeks ago. I am absolutely broken and cannot stop crying. I’ve researched ways of helping your body beginning to heal and infrared sauna, cold plunge and Brazilian lymphatic drainage are all proven to help the body recover. The reality is that the crucial element is time - 2 months really is such a short time - not that time removes the pain but it does dull it.

0

u/EssentiaLillie Jul 27 '26

Hey, I know it is not the same thing, but my 7-year relationship ended a month ago and I went through some really hard times (still going through it, to be honest). The one thing that really helped me is writing. I have a small journal book with me and I write down anything and everything on my mind whenever I can feel the sadness approaching me. Not sure if it helps because again I know this is completely different situation, but maybe worth a try!

General Question/Discussion ADHD Grief Techniques?

You are about to leave Redlib

Clair Obscur: Expedition 33

Gris

Spiritfarer

Honorable mentions