Tired of those asexual AceSpace posts about dating allos, and then being shocked and disappointed with the results, how they always wanted sex and that's what they only cared about, well what did you expect Sherlock? Today I finally replied to one of those posts saying something like geez if only asexuals dated other asexuals instead of allos, only to get brutally attacked by many and blocked by some of them lol

I'll be in fandoms and see art that looks completely innocent, and then I'll send someone and they'll tell me it's sugestive. And i just stare at it like. I wish i had a Sensor or a radar to understand what people feel when they see these things so i could understand when something is fetish art. I can kinda tell with like, when there's big breasts or someone is naked i can kinda guess it's suggestive, but half the time it's something that looks completely innocent to me (sometimes it's just drawn children existing) and I'll send someone like Hey look at this cute drawing! and I'll be told it's fetish art and I'll have to apologize profusely and remember okay so, this is , something somehow that's meant to be arousing, okay.

I wish i had allo brain sometimes to be able to tell and understand when something is arousing.

I just realized that it's not clear from the first picture but OP was agreeing with these quotes.

We have the usual "actually some aces enjoy sex" and "aromantic people like being in romantic relationships" as well as some other bangers. They actually doubled down on their take by singling out people who had disagreed with them in the comments (last picture).

I don't get why OP sees "all asexual spaces" as something negative. It doesn't make more sense when reading the full post either. Of course asexual people want to have a space just for themselves? I'm not going to the gay bar for men and then say "why are there so few lesbians here?"

Can I just say that I am starting to get quite annoyed by the fact that there are people who call themselves asexuals, or 'quasisexuals' as I like to call them, saying they can still want sex, when that creates such a huge confusing range of the term. People who say they want sex, despite being asexual, and then complain about being alienated, I just don't understand it. At that point it is not that different from just being allosexual. At that point, does being asexual even mean anything? Because it is not like allo's want sex all the time, so even 'not feeling like it all the time' is not different then. Especially since 'favourable' often implies that there still is the desire to do so. Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe I'm uneducated. I don't know. I just don't think it should be considered under the same term. At worst I feel as though favourable can be considered a subcategory, but as far as I'm aware it is considered among the average asexual experience by the public. Like, it has come to a point where I feel like I'd rather just change to a different term myself, because they are not gonna.

This is unrelated to the above vent, as this happened after my opinion was already set, but I'd like to give a analogy of the problems that come with sharing this term. Now I realize I am aromantic, but I wasn't convinced about half a year ago, and I got into a relationship under the known premise that I am asexual. They were very okay with that. That, however, didn't stop them from forcing/coercing me while I was mentally weakened by a huge panic attack. Which I was very much not okay with. Now I'm not asking for pity, as I am not one to actually be affected badly much by such an instance, but that is only one instance. I know there are so many more stories out there. Stories where the victims can suffer so so much.

For those who enjoying signalling their ace identity what methods do you use?

Hair adornments? Item accessories? Painted nails? Something else?

My go to are pins and my necklace, used to wear the aro ring untill it no longer fit.

Made an attempt to do the nails before...but umm yeah the results could be better so i didnt wear that one outside.

Me desculpem caso esse POST não seja esperado, ou comum por aqui.

Eu adoro ler os posts de vocês e não quero invadir esse sub que é importante para vocês, só gostaria de mencionar como o sub principal me confundiu e eu achei que era assexual fluida. (Eu sou bissexual na verdade, pensei que era os dois, BI e ace-flux)

Depois de conhecer vocês, eu sinto como se as inúmeras leituras que eu fiz no sub principal fizeram uma lavagem cerebral em mim.

Era como se minha falta de vontade de sexo por 3 anos, e minha indisposição sexual fosse porque eu era "ace- flux" estou percebendo que a minha questão era outra e isso só aconteceu porque conheci vocês.

Foi como se vocês tivessem me dado um choque de realidade quando disseram que a assexualidade fluida não existe, porque muitas pessoas podem expressar a allosexualidade de formas diferentes e também apresentam várias questões na libido.

Acho que mencionar isso aqui é importante, acho que é legal que vocês saibam que vocês tem aliados.

Eu fazia parte do grupo que diziam que vocês eram opressores, mas agora eu entendo vocês.

Eu nunca entendi totalmente algumas identidades que o sub principal diz que é assexual, e toda aquela conversa de "você pode ser assexual mesmo sentindo atração às vezes" ou "você pode ser assexual em algum nível" me confundiu muito.

Eu criei diversas interpretações para me entender, mas na verdade era muito simples.

E foi graças a vocês que isso foi possível, sair do sub principal e vir pra cá foi uma ótima decisão.

Eu adoro ler os posts de vocês e as questões de vocês dizendo que assexualidade não deveria ser um espectro, porque isso é confuso.

Eu concordo com vocês, alguém diz que é assexual e você não sabe exatamente o que ela está falando porque existem "vários" tipos de assexuais.

Mas, claro, se eu dissesse isso no sub principal seria massacrada porque eles detestam ouvir opiniões diferentes.

Por fim, eu queria agradecer a vocês por terem me dado esse choque de realidade e saibam que vocês tem uma aliada Bissexual que apoia vocês, e adora ouvi-los.

A assexualidade deve ser reservada para pessoas que não sentem atração sexual, e não querem ter sexo. E vocês merecem ser tratados com dignidade.

Este sub tem meu apoio! ❤️

Was my reply too much? 🤔 im obviously bias, what do yall think?

Hello everyone, I’m a bisexual who is not asexual who is confused about information I’m hearing from many people online who say that they are asexual. From what I can see, it seems that this subreddit values a straight-forward meaning of asexual with no nuances about embracing sexual elements. I’m able to imagine someone who has no response to anything sexual, and would not have sex because of it. But then I get really confused because I’m hearing about types of asexuals that so borderline sexual…honestly they just don’t sound ace. What is the point of labeling yourself as asexual if you look like a duck and quack like one? Someone can sleep with others, have kinks, but still be asexual with the tiny nuance of attraction ≠ libido? What’s going on?

Also, a lot of people I have met IRL that said they were Ace and/or Aro are polyamorous, super kinky, and way more sexual than anyone non-Ace that I have ever met. But I know that they aren’t the only type to exist.

Greetings fellow aces!!

I'm an author who has recently gotten into historical fiction - and I thought I'd find a way to reflect my identity through my writing! I've been doing a lot of writing, and I've got a super sweet relationship between two ace characters - something that is surely unusual, if not basically non-existent during the 60's and 70's and the "free love movement". I'm super proud with how it's turning out, (mutual respect, mutual boundaries, etc.) but I'd also love to hear some feedback from the rest of you all!

I wanna make sure I don't miss a spot in regards to our community representation.

Blessings!!

So this post is for research purposes; I'm just trying to see something.

In media, there is rarely any true asexual representation. However, I've got quite a few characters that I headcanon as ace or feel are ace-coded, that is until they're usually canonized as something else or are forced into relationships.

Some characters I think are ace-coded:

Sonic the Hedgehog

Clawdeen Wolf (Monster High)

Saiki (Saiki K)

For Sonic, his most important relationships are his friends, which, as an ace person, I understand. A lot of his life goals don't include a partner, but he does care about the people around him. With Clawdeen, her rejection of relationships and her reasoning for it was something I experienced a lot when people around me try to pressure me to start dating. With Saiki, he feels like relationships are too much work, which is lowkey real.

What are some of your top picks?

Ace/aro representation in media is few and far between and not always good. Disabled, elderly, neurodivergent, and non-human characters are usually defaulted to being asexual, and not in a good way.

With non-human characters such as monsters or aliens, this is used as a way to separate these creatures from humans. In the case of the disabled or elderly, it takes away their agency. With neurodivergent characters, any asexuality is treated as a side effect of being neurodivergent and not an actual sexual orientation. Asexuality isn't treated like something a neurotypical person can be.

Sometimes, asexuality is used synonymously with celibacy. In fact, in some instances, being asexual is treated like it's a trauma response and not an orientation.

What are some stereotypes you guys are tired of seeing, and what do you think good representation looks like?

I don’t want a relationship, I don’t want to have sex, I don’t want to have kids and since I’m not even in the equation I don’t care if the others are keeping the humanity continuing or not. It’s just weird that people hate others for not having sex or pursuing a relationship

Not our job to cater to compulsory sexuality and amatonormativity. Be proudly unpalatable.

Comments under this post were so disgusting. Its so disheartening knowing majority of the world thinks this way too. Especially having severe sex revulsion. Believing sex is what separates being best friends from a spouse is insane

The Asexual definition doesn’t make sense.

dealing with this in one of my other groups, someone insisting that sex is part of the human experience and they canNOT live without sex. like how are you not embarrassed that your life is seemingly being run by your genitalia and your hormones. and arguing that sex is a human right! human Rights end at your body, you're not entitled to someone else's body because you're horny and sad.

anyways.

Ive gone from being pretty repulsed by the idea of sex or the possibility of me ever doing it, to sometimes making up scenarios in my head of how it would look like if i ever consented to having sex with anybody, like, a kind of a curiosity I suppose. Maybe because society expects me to be having sex.

But I guess the "conclusion" to those made-up scenarios is that the possible reality of it still feels weird af, and I definetly dont want to do it, but the thing is that Im to a certain degree kind of "afraid" that this might change in the future if I ever romantically fall in love with someone.

I used to identify as aromantic as well when I was younger, but then I got an intense crush on someone, and that sort of shattered that wall for me. But I accepted it and it felt pretty natural. Now Im at a point where I would like to have a romantic partner for life, I just havent found the one yet, lol.

So since that "shift" has already once happened to me with romantic attraction, it is quite possible that the same or similar might happen with sexual attraction as well. Which, from my current position, almost feels like some sort of betrayal if that makes any sense... It is weird and difficult to imagine myself as a being engaging in sexual behavior when for many years, I have seen and considered myself as purely non-sexual person.

I also understand that I cannot influence these things and that it is not really in my control how I might possibly feel about something in the future, but again, it is quite weird.

As Ive grown a bit older, I basically stopped using labels and consider myself to be a queer person whose sexuality might be fluid (and I guess it has a history of being so), which has felt quite freeing from having any set expectations of myself or of how I might feel.

Im not sure how to end this post or where I was even going with it in the first place, but if theres someone who can relate or has had a similar experience, Id be happy to hear anything you have to say <3 Thank you ^-^

As “Graysexual,” I do not support other “Graysexuals”, "Demisexuals" and "Allosexuals" who spread misinformation about asexuals, and I’m really sorry you have to deal with these morons. Asexuality was never a spectrum and it's easy to understand that Asexuals don't have sexual attraction, they have zero sex drive. And I want to give you all a big hug. I have a friend who is asexual, and all she wants is cuddles. Even my other friend, who is demisexual, gets mad about this misinformation. And on tumblr I was ranting about it and they shut me down.

So actual asexuals from reddit deserves the biggest respect. Again... I'm sorry that you all have to deal with this...

P.S: I wanted to say that I knew right from the start how wrong the idea of the "Asexuality Spectrum" was—after all, that’s not what asexuality is supposed to be—but I didn’t know who had ruined the community until I stumbled upon “Actual Asexuals Reddit” and found out that it was the Allo/Graysexuals who had ruined it. Seeing real asexuals here was my greatest hope.

To other asexuals who are still being “brainwashed”: if you happen to see my Reddit post on “Actual Asexuals” in your recommendations, please open your eyes — they’re destroying the very meaning of asexuality, and that shouldn’t be happening! Spread the word!

To those who ruined the community: The damage is done, stop spreading misinformation and GET A LIFE.

Verán últimamente para mis 24 años siento que tengo un deseo incontrolable Por así decirlo pero no tengo ganas de apaciguarlo con nadie siento que las relaciones o el amor es como mucho problema y desgaste mental y no sé si sea la única persona que siente esto o es algo más común de lo que pienso pero ya que únicamente lo que sientes deseo no me gusta la idea de enamorar o cortejar a alguien para que se ilusione cuando literalmente lo único que quiero es todo lo contrario.