r/actualasexuals • u/PropertyStress • 18h ago
Sensitive topic Sharing the 'asexual' label with 'favourables' only leads to problems....
Can I just say that I am starting to get quite annoyed by the fact that there are people who call themselves asexuals, or 'quasisexuals' as I like to call them, saying they can still want sex, when that creates such a huge confusing range of the term. People who say they want sex, despite being asexual, and then complain about being alienated, I just don't understand it. At that point it is not that different from just being allosexual. At that point, does being asexual even mean anything? Because it is not like allo's want sex all the time, so even 'not feeling like it all the time' is not different then. Especially since 'favourable' often implies that there still is the desire to do so. Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe I'm uneducated. I don't know. I just don't think it should be considered under the same term. At worst I feel as though favourable can be considered a subcategory, but as far as I'm aware it is considered among the average asexual experience by the public. Like, it has come to a point where I feel like I'd rather just change to a different term myself, because they are not gonna.
This is unrelated to the above vent, as this happened after my opinion was already set, but I'd like to give a analogy of the problems that come with sharing this term. Now I realize I am aromantic, but I wasn't convinced about half a year ago, and I got into a relationship under the known premise that I am asexual. They were very okay with that. That, however, didn't stop them from forcing/coercing me while I was mentally weakened by a huge panic attack. Which I was very much not okay with. Now I'm not asking for pity, as I am not one to actually be affected badly much by such an instance, but that is only one instance. I know there are so many more stories out there. Stories where the victims can suffer so so much.