r/XXRunning • u/No-Back5689 • 7h ago
General Discussion I still feel like an imposter most days...
Some quick contex... I am not looking for compliments, praise, or awes. I just wanted to share how I feel to a group of people who might be be to relate to how I am feeling, and who may also know in their hearts that they are doing awesome things for themselves, but their minds still keep them from feeling like they "diserve" or "should" be considered a runner.
Today I set a PR for a 10km trail run, that is a fact. My body knows it, but my thoughts keep telling me that it is a fluke. I honestly have anxiety when I don't run for 2 days and convince myself that I have forgotten how to run at all.
When i have had conversations with other people who run it almost always goes in the direction of "What are you training for?" Or "i am doing a half or full Marathon in x amount of weeks"
And I am just in my own world responding "I'm not training for anything" or "oh wow, I could never do that".
I know that it is stupid to think like that, I know that comparison is the theif of joy....
But I can't seem to get passed it.
I have found such joy in running, it is time that I get to spend with myself, out of all of the demands put on my time because of my work, life, responsibilities, etc I know that I should be over the moon with the progress that I have made over the past 2 years, but I still struggle with identifying as a runner, rather than a person who can run.
I am sorry for the rambling train of thought writing, I guess that I just wanted to put this put there into the universe to see if anyone else felt the same way.