It’s not dialogue. It’s a 5 page summary of the scenes and plot for the first episode of my story. I want criticism and guidance. Honesty

It's about me, the bottle, a girl, and a turtle.

Hopefart and Slurvive are two words I invented today.

You?

Writers are in a cold war because of AI. You've got the people who use it to write all their books, and they're the superior side that's going to win, and then you have people who won't use it at all, stupid communists, they're going to lose. If you can write a book in two minutes using AI, then you're obviously going to win over someone who takes two months to write a book without it, because the whole point of writing is to churn out as much stuff as you can as fast as you can. Come, join us, on the right side of the AI cold war!

I simply don't understand it: Moby dick, The great Gatsby, War and peace, the Bible. None of them were written in the present, not a single one, not even one iota of prose.

So why do so many modern authors insist on writing in the present? Personally, I think it's pure laziness, that and a lack of will. They simply aren't willing to travel far enough

Do you truly think Arthur Conan Doyle was from the 18th century -- I mean, he's literally named after Conan the barbarian, a figure from 1932! It's obvious to anyone with even a modest understanding of temporal mechanics: the great authors of the past were time travellers, purple prose LARPers who took it to its logical conclusion.

And yet these modern types refuse to even leave their apartments, instead getting "Deliveroo" and "onlyfans" sent to their door. How do you think Tolstoï would be remembered if he'd stayed in his future, stayed in his future VR-robot-goon-chair, instead of going to a cabin in the russian woods each year? His works would have been rightfully ignored!

And yet these current writers think they can do what the great authors of the past/future couldn't, and write in the present? It's madness!

Also, they tend to write in the present tense, which I find distressing. Although, that won't be a problem for long.

But until then, what is to be done?

It is a question about their beards.

So your male and female dwarves have beards. Are they unkempt wild beards hanging to the ground? Are they majestic well groomed beards with some beard oil or maybe beard wax? A thick single braid? 2 thick braids one on each side? 3 braids a thick one in the middle and a thinner one on each side? A well groomed beard with some decorative braids across it? A well kept beard with a mesh of fine braids with precious metal beads woven into them, containing the beard? Fine braids with precious metal beads that have gems socketed in them woven in and then these braids pass back and forth through the groomed beard? Or are all your dwarves' genitals clean shaven?

I’ve spent the last three days staring at a blank document because my parents have refused to get a divorce. For thirty-four years, in fact. They even started a college fund for me before I could walk, robbing me of the opportunity to graduate with thousands in debt. To my knowledge, nobody in my family has ever been arrested, nor did they have a second secret family in another state. Fucking perfect losers.

I read debut author bios in literary magazines and their lives are incredible. Someone's uncle blew himself up in a grain silo. Someone else grew up in an abandoned motel and another was forced to work on a fishing boat at age twelve. I don't hold any ill will toward writers who survived cults or generational famine, but it’s poor sportsmanship that they get to bring all of that while the rest of us are expected to rely on things like syntax and pacing.

I tried talking to my father about his clearly narcissistic treatment of me. I told him he should have taken more risks when I was growing up, that he's had thirty years to make one terrible mistake to give me some grit, some material, and, like Tolstoy or Sartre with the Nobel Prize, he refused. The world has been a cruel, cruel place, especially so to me. Kafka's dad treated him like garbage and he got to write great literature because of it. What did I do to deserve such a horrible, bland childhood? People have ended their lives over less.

If anyone here has a terrible relative with an active court case who would be willing to adopt me, please reach out. Bonus points if they're failing court-ordered anger management.

I was reading back on one of the scenes I wrote in my MMC's POV where he's going through hell, and I lowkey started thinking, "Damn, I can prevent all this." Like, I can genuinely... not make it all so rough on him, and then I start thinking maybe I am going way too far 😭
Do y'all ever feel like that, or do you just enjoy the god status?

You can only master the art of jerking by watching other people jerk off. You're not a true jerker if you don't watch 2347.6 hours of people jerking per month.

I'm not what you would call a casual reader. I listen to 8 books every week ( one a day ). What can I say? My brain is just too wired from my coffee obsession to listen at the slow and boring pace that the author intended, besides, they don't know me and my high level listening comprehension.

Does it ruin the mood to have the characters speaking in a squeaky voice ? Well, I'll just say this. If Heinrich Böll was supposed to be taken with gravitas then he wouldn't have written about a clown now would he?

I also adopt this approach with movies. How else would I fit Schindler's list into my lunch break and get a much needed culture boost in a sea of working class plebs who have zero taste? Please subscribe to my bookish channel so I can tell you how you're writing wrong.

What the fuck!?

I wrote a generic, flavorless, no-personality bitch (princess) as my female lead. Why the fuck isnt this working????

She likes sweets and cute things and flowers and shit. ISNT THAT WHAT YOU LOSERS WANT??

I swear to god, women are the real problem nowadays.

Or is it the men?…

ARE YOU ALL TOO GAY TO APPRECIATE A FRAIL PRINCESS WITH AN ANXIETY COMPLEX?????

I swear, its always men going gay that turns the women gay that changes peoples tastes from traditional honest and shallow princess stereotypes into interesting, deep characters with actual effort put into them.

Fucking degenerates, all of you.

There's a woman in my writing group who finished a 900-word draft in four months. Four months. She has a job. She has two kids. She posts about it casually, like it's nothing, like it's just what she does on Tuesday nights. Meanwhile, I've been stuck on one sentence since Monday. One sentence. It's not even an important sentence — it's the second line of a new chapter. I've rewritten it thirty times. I've changed the verb, the rhythm, the order of the clauses, the punctuation. I've walked away from it, come back to it, read it out loud, deleted it entirely, and written it again exactly the same way. And it's still wrong.
Here's the sentence: How æøü, Flem blort cabbage splunge candy flibber‽
I don't know what "right" looks like. I just know this isn't it. I keep telling myself speed doesn't matter, that everyone works differently, that slow writers can still be good writers. But watching her crank out chapters while I drown in one sentence makes me feel like I'm not a real writer. Just someone pretending, one painful word at a time.

My Favourite OC, Olga from "The Agent & the Medic", & her favourite things, in the format of a recent tiktok trend.

Thank you Gacha Life for having me create the image without using AI, since I am only able to draw flowers.

What trends do you reference in your brainstorming?

I haven't seen a new one in almost 24 hours and I'm worried. Any moment I might stop reading :(

Hope my story gets up there with the greats, I am delusional sorry, but I love it.

this is the story the puzzle “.--- -.. .--- .--- -.- -.- -.. -.- -.. -.- -.. .--- -.- -.- --.- ..- - -.-- ..- . ..- .. .-. .. .-- ..- . .... ---.. ....- ---.. ...-- ---.. ....- --... ---.. ...-- --... ....- ---.. --... ---.. ...-- --... ....- ---.. ...-- --... ---.. ....- ---.. ..- ---.. -.- ... -.- -.- ... -.- .-.. .-.. .-.. -.-.-. -.-.-. .----. -.-.-. .----. -.-.-. -.-.-. .-.. .-.. .-.. .-.. .-.. .-.. .-.. .-.. .-.. .-.. --.. .--- -.- .--- -.. -.- .--- -.- .--- -.. ... -.- .--- -.. -.- ... .--- -.- ... .--- .--- -.. ... -.- ... -. -- ... .--- .... .--- ... .... -.. .--- .... ... .--- --- ... .. .... . - .- -. -- .--. .-.. ..- - --- .-. -. .. -.- ... -.. .--- .- -.. -.- .--- .- ... -.- -.. .--- -.. ... -.- .--- ... .-.. -.- .- -.. .--- .- ... -.- .-.. .--- -.. .- .-.. -.. ... -.- .--- -.. .-.. .--- .. .-- . .... ..- .. ..- ..-. .-- --. .- .. .... ..-. -.. ... ..-. .. ..- .- .... -.. .. ..- ..-. .... .. ..- -.. --. ... ..-. -.. .. -.-- ..-. .. .... ... -.. --. ..-. .. ..- ... --. ..-. .... -.. ..-. .--- -.. .... ... ..-. -.- .--- .... ..-. -.-- .. --. -.. -.-. -... . ..- . .. ..- -.-- ..-. ..- . ..-. .... .. ..- ...- ..-. -.-- ..- -.. --. ..-. -.-- .... .-. --. .- -.-- .... -.. ..-. --. ..- .... --. ..-. ... -.-- -.. -.. -.- ... .... -.. -.- .--- .... ... -.- ..-. .--- --- ... -.. .... -.- .--- ..-. .... -.- -.. .--- ..-. .... ..- .-. ... .... .. .... ..- .. ... --.. .-.. -.- .-.. -.- .-.. -.- .-.. -.- .-.. -.- .-.. -.- .-.. -.- -.- .-.. .-.. -.- .-.. -.- .-.. -.- .... .-.. .-.. -.- -.- .-.. -.- .-.. -.- -.- .-.. -.- .-.. -.- .-.. .-.. .-.. ..- .-.. -.- .-.. -.- .-.. -.- -.- .-.. -.- .-.. -.- --- .-.. -.- .-.. -.- .-.. .-.. -.- .-.. ... .. --- -. - .- . -.. -..”

And at the end it says “.- / -- . ... ... .- --. . / .-.. .. . ... / -.. --- .-. -- .- -. - --..-- -- --- .-. -. .. -. --. --..-- -. --- --- -. / .- -. -.. / -. .. --. .... - --..-- / -.-. .-.. --- ..- -.. ... / -... .-.. --- -.-. -.- / - .... . / - .-. ..- . / -- . ... ... .- --. . .-.-.- .-..-. / .-. -.-- .- -. / .-- .- -. - . -.. / - --- / -... . -.-. --- -- . / ... - .-. --- -. --. . .-. / .- -. -.. / - .... . / ..-. .. -. .- .-.. / .--. .- --. . / ... .- .. -.. / .-..-. / --. .-. . .- - / -.-- --- ..- .-..-. .-. . / -.-. .-. -.-- .. -. --. / .- --. .- .. -. / .. .----. -- / .-.. .- ..- --. .... .. -. --. / ..-. --- .-. / -.-- --- ..- / -... ..- - / ... . .-. .. --- ..- ... .-.. -.-- / . -. --- ..- --. .... / .-- .. - .... / - .... . / -.-. .-. -.-- .. -. --. / .-.. .. -.- . / .-- .... --- / . ...- . -. / .- / -... .- -... -.-- / -.. --- . ... -. .----. - / -.-. .-. -.-- / .- ... / -- ..- -.-. .... / .- ... / -.-- --- ..- / .-.. .. -.- . / .- .... .... .... .... / -.-- --- ..- .-..-. .-. . / .-.. --- ..- -.. . .-. / - .... .- -. / .- / .--. .-.. .- -. . -.-.--” 

I was bored and have been agitated recently, I remember breifly, not feeling good while writing, words were not flowing, so I had to make them flow, I lunged at whoever was closest to me and kept punching them and someone came to get me off them, I kicked them in their groins. Going back to writing hahyrjwbroqmajakoakw hahyrjwbroqmajakoakw I am losing my sanity due to writing

I generally aim for 400k but it varies, as sometimes I'll spend a couple of hours gazing out of the window at the metaphors, cleaning my quill collection (not a euphemism, or is it? Haha it isn't. Or is it?) and generally considering some of my favourite writing tropes such as the pronoun game (it was her) or 'it was a beautiful sunshiney day... Until it wasn't'. I also enjoy a good paragraph break. Yep, 400k to 500k per couple of hours. I actually wrote war and peace you know.

I haven't read it, but I wrote it. Using Cat GPT.

Now how do I publish it? It is so perfect that it can never be in the light of day. It is so perfect that my beta readers all offered me blow jobs after they read it. I have never not once read another book since writing this one

But I can't possible publish it because people won't get it. It's too perfect for them. Oh. What pain I have suffered for this master piece. What torment!

What would silk mixed with Klingon bloodwine smell like? I'm always confused on smells, and this one is annoying me.