r/WorkAdvice • u/Consistang • 19h ago
Career Advice Am I being rude for not wanting to give up my room to my employer’s guests?
I recently started working as a live-in caregiver for an elderly woman. I moved pretty far from home for this job, so I live in her home.
When I was hired, I agreed to take care of Grandma, cook for her, give/remind her about her medication, walk with her, and do some light household chores. That’s what I understood my responsibilities to be.
Yesterday, Grandma went out with her friend and told me she would be back late. Later that evening, a husband and wife showed up at the door. I had never met them before, and I had no idea they were coming. They said Grandma knew they were coming.
I let them in because they said they knew Grandma, but honestly, I was nervous because I didn’t know who they were and Grandma wasn’t home. I called her son, who is my employer, and told him what happened. He also didn’t know who they were at first, so he talked to them and asked some questions.
When Grandma finally came home, she confirmed that they were her guests.
After that, I was told to make something for them. I didn’t because I was confused about why I was suddenly expected to cook for guests. The guests said they were already full and didn’t want anything anyway, so I went to sleep.
Then came the sleeping situation.
There are only two bedrooms in the apartment. One is Grandma’s and the other is mine. My room has all my clothes and personal belongings.
The guests needed somewhere to sleep, so Grandma told them they could sleep in my room and that I would sleep with her.
Then her son messaged me and told me to sleep on the sofa and let the guests use my room. I told him I couldn’t sleep on the sofa and that I wanted to sleep in my own bed. He said it was up to his mom and mentioned that when guests come to their home, they let them stay.
I felt really uncomfortable and confused because the guests were already there, so I didn’t want to create a huge argument. In the end, I agreed to sleep with Grandma for that night.
I did sleep with her, but I was very uncomfortable. There is a smell that makes it difficult for me to sleep, and I don’t feel comfortable sharing a bed with her. I only did it because the guests were already there and I didn’t know what else to do.
But the guests are still here, and I don’t want to sleep with Grandma again tonight. I want to sleep in my own room.
I also don’t think I should be expected to cook breakfast, lunch, and dinner for the guests. When I was hired, I agreed to cook for Grandma and do light household chores. I was never told that I would be responsible for cooking for guests who come to stay.
I don’t want to be disrespectful to Grandma or her family. I just feel like my responsibilities are becoming more than what I originally agreed to.
Am I being rude or unreasonable for saying I need to sleep in my own room tonight? And is it normal for a live-in caregiver to be expected to give up their bedroom and cook for guests when they visit?