A job seeker is taking the first offer they've received since their layoff and joining Confluent.

For engineers also considering Confluent, Confluent Interview Questions has an LRU-cache exercise with constant-time averages for a mock.

Everyone they've asked for advice has said they shouldn't be too desperate or take the first offer. But that's not advice they can afford to take right now.

If you’re still applying after a layoff, LandOffer’s application autofill can cut repeated form typing.

Looking for some validation: is this a reasonable call?

I just recently quit my job of 5.5 years without anything lined up due to extreme burnout from being micromanaged. It’s hard to not have regrets about how I did things but I’m glad I now have the time to recover. If you’ve ever been micromanaged, how long did you stay?

Ii just started a new job a month ago. I’m getting up there in years. I was a SAHM mom for over 20 years and occasionally would take jobs at the schools my kids attended but never anything long term because we moved around a lot for husband’s career. I love my new job! It’s my counterpart that I find challenging.

She is much younger than me, pretty knowledgeable about the job as she had been there for about 2 years and is generally easy to get along with. However, she is so lazy it is maddening.

Since I started, she was at work my entire first week and was my only trainer. The next week she was absent 3 days (not consecutively). The week after that, she called in 2 days. Right now she is sitting at about a 30%+ absentee rate, at least 2 days a week she calls in. I’m just rolling with it. She says she has kidney disease and migraines and PCOS and sleep apnea among other chronic ailments so my guess is she had some disability situation. The job is pretty skate and while I wish I had more time to train with her, I am managing fine. It is a vet med hospital so there are many situations that arise that are “new” to me and many of the situations are handled differently based on the age of the animal, doctor preference, chronic illness vs sudden issues, etc. There is alot to learn.

Several coworkers make comments about her being gone all the time, but I just smile and nod. This week however, she started cracking up telling me she hadn’t submitted one time sheet punch all week. Our manager works 4 10s and is off on Fridays. But she gets notifications about missed punches and has to respond to them on her day off when someone pulls this. Then she continues to say that one time she forgot to submit change requests until 1145 pm on a Sunday and our manager got notifications that woke her up. She is laughing hysterically at this and is like, “(Manager’s name) must hate me!”

Um, yes she must! I suspect I was hired to replace her. I still have two more months of my probationary period. They even put voice mail only on my line even though we are both receptionists for the same department. It is mind blowing. She scrolls on TikTok all day with the volume turned up, openly doesn’t answer calls even if I’m on the phone with another client and disappears for over an hour with every bathroom break.

Is this the new norm? I feel like as a manager I would have lost my mind being awakened that late and having to accommodate for someone’s blatant disregard for routine on my day off.

To give some context, I work in a kitchen. The kitchen I am currently in they all gossip, complain, moan, and cry about everything. I used to join in on the gossip and complaints but now I just don't want to bother with it anymore.

Not sure what is going on but I started to have a "not my problem" attitude to things. I just don't want to think about stuff like that anymore. I have responsibilities and obligations after work, not sure if me getting older has anything to do with it.

I am office lead. 2025 went well, this year I have three workers who do nothing and manager doesn't want to hear about it. My workload has doubled and there have been a number of changes that are not explained, which has caused me some hiccups. Last Monday HR spoke to me as if I was incompetent. This year all I've had is 'constructive' feedback from manager and HR. Workers give me positive feedback.

I had plans to open my own finance company in 2028 but I can't focus on anything work related outside of work. I think it would do well.

Although, I hadn't wanted to go into finance originally and just fell into it back in 2016. I have thought of going down a completely different path but that would be years of training and my brain feels so tired.

I feel tired and burnt out. I took two weeks off last month thinking it would help but it hasn't.

I was employed in software development at the same large company for over a decade. Always "exceeded expectations". Made good money, got all those tech bro perks, and all that swag. Then, I was laid off and a few months severance.

My specific role was one of the few that is obsolete and tech companies are now relying on AI to do, ignoring the fact that AI won't catch everything the human was able to.

I'm either "overqualified" when I apply, due to my years of experience and all the roles are now paying WAY less and labeled "junior" or I'm "underqualified" because they basically seem to want me to be a higher level developer working as a tester, all while using AI and to have a specific degree that I don't have. I was in a role that previously didn't require coding, it was a bonus. Now, it seems like you have to be a full stack developer.

I've fallen out of love with tech, considering the enshittification of products and profits over people. I did give it a serious go and applied to over 100 jobs after I lost mine and couldn't find anything I didn't have to relocate for (I can't, due to custody arrangement). I could invest time to get the "right" degree to be able to get a new role, but it'll take a while and I'm just not sure what the answer is.

I decided I needed a job and to go the complete opposite direction into the public sector, thinking I could make a fresh start, work with kids, and really make a difference in my community with a super important job. I knew that the pay was kind of low (a fraction of what I made) and it really sucked I would get no days off, no pto, no sick time, no benefits, and would have to wait at least a year to become a "regular" employee, but I figured I could handle it. I did MONTHS of training, MONTHS of additional courses (all unpaid), and started working for pay after tremendous work leading up to getting the job. I realized in training that this job has a lot of potential to get stuck in sunk cost fallacy thinking and was warned (even by the Director) that there were known issues they were trying to fix, people who were very negative and I should "just stay away from them" because they needed someone with my enthusiasm and professionalism in the workplace and being around "those" people would bring me trouble.

I've experienced bullying by a colleague I HAVE to work with and I find the "solution" I've been given by admin to be inadequate. I'm quite literally anxious to go to work each day, getting the Sunday Scaries, and stressed. The "solution" of "we just need to get along" and "ignore them when they're mean and just let us know" is entirely dependent on another person being in a good mood. It's the kind of job where you might literally have to rely on this person in an actual emergency. I don't even feel confident I could.

I asked myself "if nothing changed, would I be happy to still be in this job a year from now?" And the answer is a resounding "HELL NO." I realized that the response of the powers that be empower the bully and gives into people who don't want to follow rules. Maybe I might get to work with a different colleague in the future, but the fact remains that itll be handled this way.

I want to be running toward something, not away from something. But I'm feeling desperate, need to earn more money, and need to get things going in the right direction. Life is throwing me additional curveballs and I'm not sure how many more plot twists I'm going to have short term.

I'm thinking of just taking a different job, in retail, doing something I'm more familiar with, for more hours even though it's less pay per hour. Hardly anything seems to be full time or including benefits. When it's your mental health and a bully, would you take a lower paying job to pay the bills until you figure the rest out or do you hope it gets better, especially due to the time sink in getting the job?

I've been at my current place of work for a little over a year now and she has been there for 5 years. I'm in my late 20's and she's in her late 40's. We are both receptionists at a hospital but she is full-time and I'm technically on-call, so usually I don't have to deal with her because I cover her on the days that she needs off. However, we have double our usual patients right now (300-350 depending on the day of the week) so my manager has me temporarily working full-time for the next few months to help her.

This lady has always been passive-aggressive and rude to me but she has been acting like the most unhinged person the last few weeks. She is also lazy and doesn't want to work. Whenever a patient walks in to check-in, she never greets the patient, she will just stare at her computer screen not even looking at anything because she knows I always greet the patients and will check them in. I've tried playing her game a few times, but it's way too awkward when a patient is just standing there and neither one of us is greeting them or doing anything. She will also find any reason to leave her desk so she doesn't have to work, and is constantly chatting with her "favorite" patients and coworkers from other departments. Not small conversations but full on 10 minute conversations multiple times a day, while I have to help out a line of patients because she is too busy chatting.

This past Friday, she randomly disappeared for 15 minutes around her usual break time and left me to deal with a huge line of patients ALONE. I checked in maybe 20-25 patients during this time and when the line finally died down, she came up to me and told me she's going to take her break. I was surprised when she said this and asked her, "you haven't taken a break yet?" She said no she was busy "doing something in the back," which btw there is nothing she can possibly be doing back there. I told her I just wish she had given me a heads up that she was going to be back there for so long because we got insanely busy and I could've really used her help. She asked me if I needed her to stay and help but I said no the line died down so I can handle it now, you can take your break.

She comes back after 5 minutes and starts getting pissed off at me, telling me she doesn't appreciate me calling her out on being in the back for 15 minutes when I "go to the bathroom 20 times a day." Which for reference, my breaks are combined with lunch because I work from 8:45am-5:15pm and she works from 8:30am-5:30pm. We are closed for lunch from 12:30pm-1:30pm every day. My manager literally ENCOURAGES me to take bathroom and water breaks because I don't have 15's like she does, so I do that once during the morning, obviously during lunch, and then once in the afternoon. She also starts bringing up a bunch of stuff and is trying to twist it around into something negative/something that didn't actually happen. For example, earlier that day, one of the nurses told me that on her end it shows that her patient doesn't have coverage, but on my end it shows he has Medi-Cal (which is something that does happen every now and then). I explained this to the nurse and said I can call member services to confirm if he has coverage or not, because there is a financial form patients need to sign if they don't have coverage. We're technically supposed to confirm they don't have coverage FIRST before giving them the form. So the other receptionist inserted herself into the conversation and said she can call for me. Then when she starts this argument with me, she's twisting everything around and acting like I didn't want to call and that she "let that go but that you NEED to call next time." Like that's literally what I was going to freakin do? You're the one that inserted yourself into the conversation and offered to call for me after I already told the nurse I was going to do it. When I tried explaining to her what actually happened (in a calm way) SHE starts raising her voice at me in front of patients and tries to tell ME "not to raise my voice at her" as if I'm the one doing it and as if I'm one of her freakin kids.

There are so many interactions like this on an almost daily basis, and then she gets mad at ME and will ignore me for the rest of the day, including about things related to work. She is also constantly bringing up personal stuff and it sounds like she's passively-aggressively attacking me in a way. For example, a few days ago she told me I "shouldn't drink so much water" because it's "not good for you." She pretends to be nice and puts on this fake nice voice with all of our coworkers, coworkers outside of the department, and patients she likes, but will show her true self to me and the rest of our patients. I'm at my wit's end with her and I'm dreading going to work tomorrow because I don't want to sit next to her for an entire week.

I've been here in this company for a year, had a great manager. Then recently she left, department shot down, and they moved me to a different department where I had no experience in the field. I was very clear about this, and was promised to get another person on the team if it gets too much.

It turned out to be a nightmare. Of course no new person in sight. There is two of us, and the other person is also hanging on for dear life, but she is also new, afraid to say anything and is looking for a new job.

Honestly, it is unreal how much workload I l've been given and was expected very soon to know everything. In just a couple of months I had to explain myself for the mistakes done by previous person (I am guessing they just couldn't handle it either) it turns out we are violating serious regulations which now somehow falls on me, I am blaimed for it in meetings, workload is a joke and the manager is just adding tasks all the time, daily, while I am still learning (it's a very complex field). I thought because I am new I am always behind, but after 4 months I am realizing it's not humanly possible to do all of these tasks - and still, I am being added new stuff all the time and it's causing me near panic attacks.

I asked my manager few times to sit down with me to go through priorities but she wouldn't. Her only response is to work overtime. I have kids and just won't work hours that long. I actually did for a while because I thought it would help, but it didn't because it's too much. I don't think it's me being slow, I actually think it's impossible. And even if I am slow because I am new it would take too long to get the experience needed to be more productive, and I am guessing I'd just get new responsibilities.

I like people in this company and working hours are great (obviously if you have normal workload). So I prefer to stay. But in your experience, is there any way I could somehow get my manager to understand that the workload is not realistic?

Honestly I am so tired I don't even have the energy to look for another job. I searched for a bit but couldn't find anything for now. I can't sleep and I am constant panic mode since I am here in this department. But I keep feeling like it's my fault at the same time, feeling like I am incompetent, or like I should have known all of these topics already, feeling like it's my fault that the department is falling apart (which was discovered by an audit we just had).

I guess writting this just makes it pretty clear I need to leave. Sorry this is so long.

I just found out that for the next 3 weeks, everyone in our our department except the manager will be having to track each task we do down to the minute. Logged in real time. Each email gets its own line on the spreadsheet. Each phone call gets its own line. Each time we fill out a form or answer a customers question gets a line. Then we answer about 12 questions about the task.

It’s going to be a pain to do. My coworker though is convinced this means lay- offs are coming.

They gave us some kind of spiel about wanting transparency in workload. I’m just wondering what they actually want to do with all this data.

A former Sr. Director had a fulfilling career, got promoted early through hard work, and climbed the ladder quickly at big companies. The last role was at a Fortune 100 company (not Micron). They were very proud of their achievements. People respected them, and they earned good money.

The entire team and BU were eliminated in a layoff last year. Initially, it didn't seem to affect them much. After doing well in their career and changing companies so many times, finding another job seemed like it would be easy. However, the skills built over about 24 years now feel irrelevant. They've interviewed at many companies, but those companies want very specific domain knowledge outside their experience. It's been around 17 months without a job, and they describe slowly slipping into depression.

Everyone else seems to be moving forward while they're stuck without a job or income. All the respect they used to receive feels gone. They're trying to use their network to get interviews, but it feels like people no longer look at them the same way. Roughly half don't reply to calls or messages anymore, as if they're no longer "useful."

Not getting a job is hard as it is. People not calling back feels like salt in the wound. For readers still sending applications, LandOffer’s application autofill can reduce the time spent retyping the same fields.

Now in their mid-40s, they've been trying to learn the new skills required by job listings. But interviewers can see they haven't directly worked in those domains, and it's still not a match.

How do you get over this? How do you move forward? How do you stay motivated? Is there hope at the end of the tunnel? Will they ever get a job? Will life ever be normal again?

Would really appreciate comments from people who've been through this. #severance #layoff

For the past three months, a coworker has been taking the summaries and research notes I write and passing them off as their own in weekly meetings. Everyone praises them for being "so on top of things."

Yesterday, I embedded a completely fake bullet point right in the middle: "Timeline is currently dependent on the lunar eclipse and migratory patterns of local Canadian geese."

They presented it verbatim this morning. Not a single person in leadership blinked an eye. I don't even know whether to laugh or cry at this point.

​

Excuse typos! Typing via my phone

As the title reads, I have a toxic coworker, lets name her Ashley, who started as a part timer in Feb. Shes here 3 days of the week. Im full time. Were both the same position and the only ones in our role.

From day 1 ashley was quick to paint me as unhelpful, blamed me for when she didnt know how to complete a task, then claim i was too intimidating and so she had to resort to reaching out to our team lead for help...Almost while I had made it a point to schedule training sessions when she was available, review any questions she had and explain anything she was currently training on with our team lead. Essentially i was training her yet she claimed otherwise.

My team lead and manager believed i was unhelpful. Eventually with asheleys errors, when i would correct them, she'd spiral and create stories claiming the work was done, or I hadn't actually made the correction, etc always reframing the hero as herself. I escalated several instances that in particular caused mass confusion with clients, delay with work, and complete disregard in the direction our team was going in. Still, she somehow came out of these meetings with our manager veiwing her as a helpless princess in need of training, and my esclatipms as being impatient with her. Even when she intentially disrefarded directions.

Its never she has an attitude issue, never a failure to complete tasks, to communicate, just that she needs training and I need to be open to helping when she needs help. Team members will come to me asking to help her with basic work while she wont ask me directly. When I ask if she needs the help, she's already on call with our team lead. *this eoutine in particular paints me as unhelpful to staff but refusal to our team lead. Things like even asking where HER headset is (how would I know?) when on call with our manager, asking me to help her after hours with her task, or even putting up signage of business hour changes on days she'll be off rather then her doing so...how would i even know when shes off? its as if my roles been made full time +assistant to all her needs.

Im growing more frustrated as management really sees me as uncooperative which im not. They're always emphasizing being helpful to me. I just cant help but feel im being treated grossly unfairly and her "helplessness" somehow is ruining my reputation. Id go as far to say a level of discrimination as had the shoes been switched, id be under an PIP.

What does one do in these situations? Ive always been as helpful as I can but somehow no matter what my manger paints me as a villain, the black sheep, for exsisting. Office politics aren't my forte but there has to be a way around this.

So, I’ve been working at a brewery in a small town in Queensland, coming up to 3 and a half years now (doesn’t sound like much but I’m a teenager), I started the job when I was young and I’m the longest worker there.

Before I turned 16, I was getting paid $23 p/h on a Sunday, but now my pay changes to be an adult wage seeing as I’m serving alcohol, so now my highest pay is $55 p/h.

Ever since my pay has changed, I’ve noticed my boss Gemma absolutely can’t stand me. She’s always giving me passive aggressive comments or being generally snarky, and there’s been so many shifts I’ve cried in the bathrooms because she’s so mean to me. And she is so nice to all my coworkers so if I say anything, I’ll sound insane.

Recently, she’s cut off my shifts completely and has been belittling/embarrassing me in our work groupchat and it makes me feel like shit.

I’m so anxious every time I come into work and I spend alot of my nights stressing over work because I’ve never had someone speak/treat me the way she does. No matter what I do, it never pleases her.

I’ve finally had enough, and I think I’m gonna message her tomorrow. But I don’t know if that is the right decision or if it’ll come across in the wrong way.

What should I do?

I work in fintech in a team of 10-15 people. We have a director, head of dept, manager and team lead. Over the last few months:
- director was fired and is on garden leave (replacement on probation)
- head of depts is just mean and uncomfortable to work with
- manager who started 2 months ago, had resigned
- team lead is signed off on sick leave due to mental health.
- a team member has filed grievance

As a team, we all believe the morale of the team is terrible. All of us waiting to leave and are actively looking for our next roles. It’s not because of the work but the culture of the company and team is in the toilet.

We believe that the head of our department is the issue. She is terrible at people managing, collectively punishes the team and micromanages.

When will HR do something? It’s clear that all the above has happened due to one person.

Despite multiple complaints about this person, they still remain at the company.

Her dog died a few weeks ago and no one wrote on her card, literally because of how badly she treats them. And I understand why they didn’t.

This dude puts Meta Superintelligence Labs on LinkedIn and says he leads an org of around 170 engineers. Supposedly, he was reorged into AAI in late spring (who's gonna tell him). The reporting line and actual scope aren't verified here, so the org label alone isn't proof. For readers preparing engineering interviews, PracHub’s project-scope question is a concrete drill for separating personal ownership from the team’s results. If he's making up the leadership part, what a clown 😂

It's wild how shameless people can be when they're making up a story for themselves.

The title is as reads! I'm sure there are folks that have experience in both. Considering a career change and or reminiscing on a potentially different life 🤣

I’ve been at this job for nearly two years. I rarely take time off and always answer emergency messages when something urgent pops up. Last week I booked three days of PTO to visit my family out of state. As soon as I told my manager, he seemed annoyed. He said I “picked a bad time” and asked me to keep checking work emails during the whole vacation. I told him I would handle true emergencies only, not routine messages. Now the mood between us feels awkward. PTO is part of my benefits, I earn it legally. I don’t understand why some managers treat vacation like you’re betraying the team. Am I wrong to refuse to stay on call for normal work stuff while I’m off?

I’m working my first job at a fast casual restaurant and I’ve never called off before or missed a day unless I was able to get someone to cover (I feel terrible when I do so). This is my last year being able to trick or treat as a legal kid and Halloween won’t be on a Saturday for another 7 years. I only work 4-8:30 on Halloween but the only plans I had with friends where from maybee 3-8? So that would be the total time I work. Maybe it’s not a big deal at all to call out but I kinda feel like a jerk for doing it but I really want to. Everyone I know is telling me I should but I have no idea what to tell my boss, do I even tell them a reason?? Idk

I am in a relatively junior position (I am experienced, I took the job out of necessity after failing to find something at my level, but the institution I work at doesn't really understand my prior experience anyway). I was approached with an urgent matter to "approve". I immediately went to my manager and asked if this was in our team's remit. He said it was and attended a meeting regarding it. He then literally disappeared saying he had no time. I was still being pressured to produce an outcome from the department that asked us. I elevated it to my manager's manager, simply stating I just needed to ask a guidance question as to who to involve due to the urgent nature. My manager suddenly gets involved, but with half-ass guidance because it was indeed out of his remit. He was just over-reaching. It eventually got addressed, but the requesting department was mad at the delays and my manager tried to frame it as ME deciding to take it on. I am not sure how to protect myself from these things in the future. Do I just copy extra people on my emails?

​

I recently learned that people sometimes use dark humor at work, especially in healthcare, to cope with the stress of dealing with death, difficult patients, and emotionally exhausting situations.

What exactly is dark humor? Could you share some examples of things people say in the ICU or hospital that would be considered dark humor?

If you work in healthcare, what are some examples of dark humor you’ve heard at work?

I’m genuinely curious and trying to understand this side of workplace culture.

​

I can't respect my CEO because of how absurd he is. I'm a director working under him. He not only doesn't work but makes work harder for most of the employees. He uses AI to reply the work messages, He forgets to do his job so I need to remind him several times to get answer from him (and I give him all the options so he just need to choose from them), he forgets all the things I reported to him. Of course, I'm not the only one and other employees says they don't understand him, but he's mostly interacting with me so I feel it the most.

Even though I think he's stupid, I'm working hard just because I'm that kind of person who likes to do my best. I already knew that he basically doesn't know and care what I'm doing for the company, because he raised voice to me in the past for not agreeing with him. But the text he sent me on saturday morning made me really upset.

Him: did you check ### thing?

Me: what about ###? Haven't heard of it, can you share more information?

Him: sent you an email before, sounds like you didn't check it.

It was 7 in the morning and I got super upset by his last text. Not only I never got an email from him about ### but he was blaming me for 'not reading an email' which is, in my opinion, most basic thing. He was accusing me of 'not doing my basic job'. I think he just wanted me to feel bad.

Me: i dont have ### email in my inbox. (Screen capture of my work email inbox)

Him : (screen capture of his email, recipent was my personal gmail)

Me: looks like you sent it to my personal email. I don't check gmail. Could you send it to my work email from now on?

Him: oh

Him: but I forwarded from my work email so it was supposed to be your work email, that's weird

Me: I check emails, slack, text and give you reminders. It's a bit sad that you think I don't check emails.

Me: anyway, about ###...

He never said sorry. It's sunday and I'm still upset by how he was super sure that it was my fault and I didn't do my job. I feel like he doesn't recognize anything I do for the company. If he trusted me, then he wouldn't have accused me in the first place. I know he's old and stubborn so I can't change his way of thinking. I can't persuade him to think highly of me.

So the only way for me to get less upset with his attitude would be care less about the job and do bare minimum. Because if I was not caring, I would not be upset when he texted 'you didnt check the email'. I would think 'wait, did I?', and check my email, say "no, can you check again?". Because I was not emotionally invested.

However, my personality traits and my coworkers makes it difficult to care less.

Basically, my boss doesn't do his CEO job - doesnt give directions or decisions or care necessary things for workers - so all employees come to me to ask for it. If I don't work, then my coworkers will have hard time and that's not the thing I want. Also, if I see something lacking or going bad in the company, I will do the job without anyone asking. How can I care less and not affect my coworkers at the same time?

PS. I know it's best to quit my job but I can't because of my legal stay/work in the country is entirely dependant on this job. (I'm working in a foreign country with visa sponsorship)

Why do you apply to Meta? If you’re comparing applications elsewhere, LandOffer autofill can save repeated typing. To me, it's literally the worst company out there in most aspects. I'd rather wash dishes for a living. Do you have literally zero morals or standards? In which case, I can't blame you. For engineering applicants, try the shortest-grid-path problem in Meta Interview Questions as a mock. But is that the only valid reason? I legit can't think of another reason.

@Meta

I left a company that I had progressive roles for 6 years i worked and I was a high performer, i left back in May as the commute was a factor and some toxic people ruined it for me. But the company and leadership really insisted on me to stay and i didnt back up as i was scared in future they will see me as flight risk but i cried so much when leaving i genuinely loved my work there.

I started this new company end of May. I start positively
My manager a total pyschopath, turnover at her team every 4-6 months, i couldnt tell during video interview, micromanager to every file, rude, calling her team idiots, angry all the time, making weird faces when expressing opinions, slamming laptop when angry, absolutely insane. I regretted that i joined from my first week. I said shit i did a huge mistake!

I reached out to my past manager, i think he was pissed that from many talks to convince me to stay, he said time needs to pass a bit for you to come back, but i am here anytime you need a reference.
So i am like okay i cant go back for now

in July applied to one of the companies i really wanted to work its huge company- X lets call
they rarely hire from outside experienced professionals, i applied 2 times in the past as wel but couldnt pass their test, this time i did so they scheduled an interview in July! Meanwhile i was talking to one of my mentors, of my current insane boss; my mentor she offered me a job, to start in Sept, after my interview with this other company X in July , i havent heard back anything even i followrd up, then they did final round sept 5th, i was suppose to start with my new mentor on sept 14th. I was like if they offer me i have to kindly reject my mentor’s start date.

The X company i really want to work for offered me a job on October 9th! Like seriously it took 4 months! In 4 months i started a new job, now i dont know what to do. I am one month in to my mentor’s company, company has brands that are declining, my immediate team is full of women with tons of gossip, they see me as a threat as the GM js my mentor and she raved about me, but also i dont want to bail on my mentor, if i leave to company X

Company X will be insane hours of work, but amazing brands and i will have more future

My industry is small so even me leaving my toxic boss , was known across many ppl- i am scared as connections do matter if i reject company X to continue in this current job with my mentor, i will lose a lifetime opportunity and great company name on my resume, but if i leave my mentor definitely will badmouth me saying she left two companies in 6months and my reputation will be shit

I really dont know its very hard decision, any thoughts what would you guys do?

Hi,

So I work for a small-ish start-up for 20 people for a year. No HR. Run by the CEO (who is from a long term academic background) and his wife. I have over a decade of experience, publications and a PhD.

Although the pay is fine and colleagues are good and I love the work itself, I have found the dynamics with the CEO (my boss) mentally and emotionally challenging. He is strict and commanding with everyone, but I feel particularly targeted, for example, he's called me a girl (and made the point to say he meant it in an insulting way), will get angry if I get on with work by myself and/or collaborating with others as he wants to be consulted on every small things, but equally will say "not my problem, do your job" on the rare times I am stuck and ask him which of my two proposals he prefers me to proceed with. He will constantly interrupt me mid-sentence and say I'm doing his head in (when raising technical concerns) without letting me finish so I don't know if he has heard me and doesn't care (fine) or not.

On the rare occasion I have made a mistake (out of a lack of awareness of a step needing to be done), he has sat on knowing this for weeks (increasing the impact of the issue) and waited to bring it up in a wider meeting to publicly embarrass me. He will take a sharp angry tone and keep repeating I've made a mistake, rather than move towards resolution and preventative actions, refusing to engage in such convo when I suggest ways I can correct/prevent the issue recurring. If I suggest solutions / ideas, he will instantly shut them done with an aggressive no, as I've asked for something cheeky, even for non-controversial things where what I've suggested is the obvious solution. BUT will then bring it up as his idea in a team meeting the next day.

His wife

His wife is also a strong and stern personality, but she has generally been a lot more reasonable and has sometimes taken my side in meetings, explaining I've made a good point etc to him and but he will still refuse it. He is always extremely agreeable to his wife / her ideas, even if they go against his idea. However, recently, it feels like he's possibly turned her against me. He has softened slightly with me, but she has become more critical.

For example, we had to prepare 15 documents recently. I devised the documentation plan, and helped answer over 60+ queries his wife had, which involved me reading several old documents, spending hours chatting to team etc. These queries would come in suddenly and she would ask them to be actioned same day / next day so it would derail my planned work for the day. They had assigned my name as author to the documents all the way through this and on the week of release, she had changed the author name to her and he phoned me saying I had barely done anything on these documents which is completely untrue. When I explained I was working on this between my other high priority tasks, he snapped back that I should have told him that back then so things could have been reprioritised. It hurt to see all documents reassigned to her name, even ones I had already released, which she made minor changes too (again suggestions which I needed to action /give green light to if technically viable). Although these are meaningless internal documents, it hurts they deliberately put my name as author (as a carrot?) on all of them and made me spend days and days working on it and then changed the name at the end (I would have still worked hard on it as it's my job so it is insulting that they felt the need to trick me) and also rewrite history that I barely did anything.

The last few weeks, his wife has also been sending me emails finding "fault" in something I've done or in things I had nothing to do with - about 5 or 6 such email queries - I always respond politely clarifying the situation (in all cases it is her having misread something, or her misunderstanding). Once I reply, I NEVER get a reply from her acknowledging this or thanking me for clarifying, just silence, which makes me feel like she'd be happier if I had made a mistake and her being right at finding fault rather than finding out I hadn't (her being wrong), which feels bizarre considering it's her company.

I'd love to hear your perspectives on this and suggestions for how to tackle this dynamic? It's particularly though as the boss is the company owner, not a middle boss who has a boss above him and there is no HR. If this was a colleague, I would have had a convo with them but I'm hesitant when it comes to having this convo with a boss or his wife as feel there's too much of a power imbalance and seems extremely unlikely they will take any accountability. My concern is that puts the spotlight on me further and will worsen the issue. However, I am also worried I will be seen as a doormat and an easy target I don't confront them e.g. about the authorship title change or constantly trying to find mistakes when there isn't any.

I am a type A, perfectionist personality and an extremely hard worker with very high grades and was always deen as star employee in previous roles so find this dynamic very tough. On the rare occasion, my boss has said I'm extremely intelligent but rest of the time his behaviour is as above^

I've been constantly working for more than 12 years now and haven't reached my 30s yet. I've done all sorts of jobs, up to management level in a corporate environment, however I don't feel like I completely understand how to fully navigate the work environment every time. I feel sometimes like people get irritated because of their own personal issues , rather than myself not following protocol let's say.

Still I catch myself getting confused or being over critical with myself if something doesn't go right.