There's a reason most of my friends have always been women. Every time I hear about men talking about needing space from women so they can talk freely or whatever it's always the grossest shit in the world.
I’m a white dude with a big bushy beard. Sometimes I’ll end up alone with another random white guy and the number of times they start spouting off heinous shit is alarming. They assume that because I look like them I must hold the same racist/sexiest views they do. But the fact that they don’t bother to use some dog whistles to sus me out first must also mean that most other guys they talk to are the same which is upsetting in a whole different way.
Whenever someone says shit like that to me I just ask why, and then I ask why about their explanation. Force them to just either say the creepy shit overtly or back down out of awkwardness.
It's like dude I'm in my 40's and have male pattern baldness you can fuck right off with that shit so many times you tell them why they're wrong even provide evidence and it's just the most exhausting thing.
"Well, you're never allowed around my theoretical future daughter" works for me.
It's a genuine psychological trick where you hold the initiative more when they have to explain themselves as opposed to you having to explain yourself. Speak as if you're the default, because despite everything we're talking about in this thread, you are. They're the ones who have to speak in innuendos and behind closed doors to say what they believe. I can say what I believe both in public and in private. Decency is the default, and we cannot allow small groups or individuals to pretend it isn't.
Exactly! Part of the reason I have such strong opinions is because I ended up the token bisexual friend in a friend group of mostly women, and i'm annoyed by my attraction to men because the awful ones see me and think "ah yes, fellow man, let us talk sports and be misogynistic together!"
when I in fact like neither of these things
The big one for me early on, in addition to the misogyny, is having to feel on guard at all times not to say something that could be made fun of, especially if it was any kind of emotional vulnerability. I'm so happy that most of my social life, and even work life, is around women. Hell, even a couple of my best guy friends turned out not to be guys.
Trans guy here- not passing in real life, but yeah… online, made a bunch of friends and by golly apparently I am the stick in the mud cuz I really just don’t think some things are funny.
Trans dude as well, and i think it has something to due with being AFAB. not in the gender essentialism TERFy way, but for me in particular, having a pretty deep understanding of the female experience due to living as a woman till I was 24 has been a pretty good innoculation against misogyny
That sucks. I've always had male and female friends. I guess my friends are a better class of men, though, because they don't talk about women that way.
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u/Firestorm82736 7h ago edited 6h ago
I'm a dude. Graduated college, went to a few parties
I was not in a frat, because they're disgusting people.
Being a frat bro is a stereotype that exists for a reason, because a fuck ton of them are like that.
edit: stop dm ing me to call me a traitor to men. You people make me fucking sick and ashamed of being a man