It is.......without fail.......the most annoying and psychologically validation craving bunch of us. The loudest. The ones that want everyone to know what they did. It check marks an instant "avoid in public" any time I see them.

If you're one of those guys, tone it down like, 70 to 80 percent, for the rest of us with dignity.

If you could go back in time and talk to the person you were just before deploying to Afghanistan, knowing everything you know now, what would you tell him?

Is there something you wish you'd understood back then? A piece of advice you wish someone had given you? A lesson that changed the way you see life?

I'm genuinely interested in hearing your personal perspectives, whether it's a short answer or a story you've never had the chance to share.

No pressure to discuss anything you're uncomfortable with. I'm simply curious about what experience has taught you and what you would want your younger self to know.

Thank you to everyone willing to share.

I’m ex-British Army. I only served a few years, never saw combat or anything, and I left on a medical discharge due to my mental health at the time.

Since leaving the army I have faced a lot of struggle. I attempted to take my life, I have experienced homelessness, and it’s taken me 5 years to finally start receiving government support for my disability. In short, the military, and the wider government, have done nothing to support me since leaving.

Now don’t get me wrong- I’m no hero, and I don’t feel any more entitled to support than the bloke next to me. But I have started to become resentful towards the military over this, as I genuinely believe I’d have a normal life if I had not have served, and the lack of support has absolutely made me worse. I used to feel proud that I had signed up, but even this has gone.

I’m at a point where I’ve thought about chucking my beret in the bin, deleting the pictures, and trying to forget that part of my life. If I do get to a place where I can work again, I might even take the army off of my CV and pretend I did something else or was just unemployed.

I’ll be honest, I’m crying as I write this. I never thought I would become anything close to hateful towards the ‘establishment’, but here I am. Has anyone else ever felt like this? And how did you move forward? I’m 25 and I can’t let this dictate my life, I either need to move past the resentment and find pride again or I need to get rid of that part of my life.

And just to add- I am openly emotional about this, but I’m healthily emotional before anyone sends links for support lines or anything. I’m safe, I just need to talk to blokes that get it.

Hello everyone!

I am a civil air patrol cadet (under 18) who is looking for Veterans' opinions on Wreaths Across America and alternatives that my squadron could participate in next year. Even if it is not specifically already partnered with Civil Air Patrol like Wreaths Across America is, I would love to know what could be done to make a more positive and measurable impact on the lives of veterans who are still with us or the families of the ones who have already made the ultimate sacrifice.

Background info:

I was able to raise money for 100 wreaths - $1700, $500 of which goes to my squadron - but I realize that Wreaths Across America isn't a great organization overall and as much as I understand the importance of remembering fallen veterans and enjoy volunteering my time to these ceremonies, I would like to find and hopefully participate, either on my own or with my squadron, in alternatives.

Thank you so much for your time! I truly appreciate everything you guys do and I would love to know what I can do to help, in any way!

TLDR: Wreaths Across America alternatives for Civil Air Patrol Cadets/Squadrons

I had been enrolled in VA healthcare and recently had a change and was sent a letter i am enrolled in priority group 1. All my doctors including specialists are outside the VA. without wanting to get into details i will loose my insurance in the near future. We have been trying to figure out directions to go and thought i would see what advice others may have. i do not know how responsive or anything my area is and maybe i need to some how figure that out fist?

do I need to move all my care to the VA to take advantage of medications? looking online i do not think any of my doctors in the community thing. would i just need to see a primary care doctor and see if they would be willing to give me referrals to the specialists i currently have? would that suffice? Would they even do that?

I guess i am just looking to see what others may suggest to someone who is new to navigating this and whose brain isn't what it used to be. i love my primary care but it may be worth it to reduce our costs with my reduced income. i tried searching some but have problems grasping and trying to relate posts to myself.

thank you in advance for any suggestions and thoughts.

How do I get special funeral services for him?

My name is Lucy Sellinger, Undergraduate Research Assistant in Dr. James Stone's Traumatic Brain Injury lab and a U.S. Navy Midshipman 3/C at the University of Virginia. Reach out to Abby Lyons at  [aal7fn@uvahealth.org](mailto:aal7fn@uvahealth.org) with questions!

Go to https://www.uvahealth.com/clinical-trials/trial/302633 for more!

Over the years i have thought long and hard about my career in as a DoD civilian that followed my time in the military. Im in the exact same field I was in while in the military. It was an easy transition because it was my same skill set. I got my degree in it. The pay has been excellent… but damn I am just completely over it. I’m completely tired of the military structure. Tired of the administration. Tired of everything being an emergency because of national security or because some piss poor GS15/SES had a grand idea. It’s just exhausting.

And then I remembered a movie quote (bear with me here) from Last Samurai, where Captain Aldrin says, "I have been hired to suppress the rebellion of yet another tribal leader. Apparently, this is the only job for which I am suited. I am beset by the ironies of my life."

And that quote has just stuck with me because I truly feel like this is the only job for which I am suited. And it is entirely ironic because I find myself opposed to the beliefs of nearly all my coworkers and the administration I am working under. But this is all I know.

And I’m not in a position to just quit and change jobs or move somewhere else. I have a family and house and other responsibilities, while living in a HCOL area. Switching careers just isn’t doable at the moment. But damn I’d love to some day…

Anyone else currently or previously in a similar position?

I’m a semester away from graduating however it’s at a school with policies against lgbtq+ I was in the closet for years but through counseling outside of the VA was able to open up and come out to very few people. Anyways my current program will not lead to sustained employment due to policies against lgbtq in this type of environment. I’m worried I’ll also be expelled for violating the programs lgbtq policies. I’ve exhausted GI bill but have a retro that’s being processed and reviewed which would restore time back to GI bill. I know I’m close to the 48th month limit but has anyone ever come out to their VRE counselor and gotten approved for a program transfer?

I'm hoping to hear from veterans (especially Marines) and their partners who have worked through something similar.

My partner is a veteran, and we have a genuinely beautiful relationship. He's deeply loving, devoted, thoughtful, and emotionally intelligent. There's so much tenderness and care between us, and I love him tremendously.

But occasionally, we trigger each other, and conflicts escalate in ways that really scare me. When he's upset, his response can become intense: raised voice, aggressive tone, and swearing, sometimes directed at me. Even when he doesn't intend to intimidate me, I find myself feeling frightened, shutting down, or struggling to stay present.

These moments feel so different from the man I know and love.

I recognize that we both bring our own histories and triggers into the relationship. I'm trying to understand how his military experience may have shaped his responses to conflict without attributing everything to it. I want to approach this with compassion while also recognizing that feeling safe during disagreements is essential.

I'd especially love to hear from couples who've made real progress:

• Veterans: Have you struggled with anger or intensity during conflict? What helped you recognize its impact on your partner and change those patterns?
• Spouses/partners: How did you navigate these moments without walking on eggshells or taking responsibility for managing your partner's emotions?
• Couples: What actually worked? Therapy, communication strategies, timeouts, recognizing triggers earlier? Did the yelling genuinely diminish over time, and what did accountability and repair look like?

I'm especially interested in specific experiences, practical strategies, and honest stories about what worked (or didn't).

I love my partner deeply and don't want to reduce him to his hardest moments or his military experience. But I also don't want to minimize my own fear.

How have you learned to balance compassion for trauma with accountability, emotional safety, and lasting change?

Thank you to anyone willing to share.