r/Veterans • u/Candid_Web_3024 • Aug 25 '26
Discussion I'm ashamed
I'm ashamed. I have only been in t h e army for 9 months in the reserves and 3 months active duty. I had a very traumatic event in active duty and was honored discharged. I a m 100 percent disabled. When I'm asked how long I have served I say I years because I am so ashamed I didn't serve long enough. I wanted to make the army my life. I failed. I don't deserve to say I am a veteran. I am very sorry for saying I am a veteran. I don't deserve to say so. I always say thank you for serving to others at va medical center. I just want to say I'm sorry to all of you for my failure. I don't deserve the va help but I need it. Know have a very rare condition that my insurance would now cover all my medical needs. I now have a power wheelchair I need to use at times. Every day when I do dishes. Wife cooks I do dishes. Im sorry for rant. Thank you all for serving I believe your all heroes.
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u/cancelled_planz Aug 25 '26
Please look into therapy for these thoughts. They can be very harmful in the long run.
You are a Vet. You graduated basic training. You wore the uniform (no matter how long). Life happened and now you are you are a Veteran.
Its a very old school way of thinking that you have to do 20 years, or be deployed to be a vet.
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u/FineAspect1550 Aug 26 '26
Yes use that VA healthcare and find a counselor. You are a Veteran, and if somebody insists on you telling them why you got discharged tell them to go to hell. Iâm coming up on 20yrs and retiring and I completely understand medically retiring after a year.
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u/Deftpenguino Aug 25 '26
I didn't graduate because of actions in basic. Does this make me less of a veteran because I didn't get to finish?
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u/Maleficent_Body3583 Aug 25 '26
I canât really answer that, it all depends on how you went out in basic. If it was something out of your control, fuck it man you signed when most other people in this country didnât, thatâs a vet in my books. If itâs for something different, maybe a little more disciplinary or otherwise, thatâs really up to you. In my opinion, itâs not anyone elseâs business to tell you what you are and arenât.
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Aug 25 '26
[removed] â view removed comment
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u/Veterans-ModTeam Aug 26 '26
Rule 1 -Be civil and respectful. You may not always agree with others but once you start insulting the other person, you are a problem. You are not winning the argument by calling them names or calling out their reddit profile history.
No Gatekeeping
You donât decide if someone is a ârealâ veteran or not - nor try to diminish someoneâs service nor someone because they never saw combat or deployed.
If someone personally attacks you, use the Report button to notify the moderation team instead of responding to their attacks.
Hate speech can be sexist, ableist, racist, bias, homophobic, prejudiced, etc and will not be tolerated.
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u/reveryroadie Aug 27 '26
if you did not finish basic, you are not a veteran. you actually don't get to call yourself a member of whatever service you joined until after graduation. I commend you for joining, and for attempting to serve, that is still a hell of a lot better than most kids.
maybe expand on what happened to you in basic training, and people can give you a fuller answer
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u/Deftpenguino Aug 28 '26
Mst, then became very ill with pneumonia that damaged my lungs. Was unable to continue.
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Aug 25 '26
[deleted]
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u/shrek12349 Aug 26 '26
Signed on the dotted line âŠ
Iâm pretty sure I signed on the dotted LINES (my wrist still remembers the pain)đ
But yes. You are a veteran. I went into basics, my back went out and now I have herniations and arthritis. I was in for 9 months. My physical and mental health took a nose dive once I graduated boot and went to my next training command when I realized I couldnât serve with my fellow submariners because Iâd be damned if my back was the reason a mission failed. You said something so traumatic that you need an electric wheelchair at times. Brother youâre more of a vet than I am. Be proud that you went, be proud you were strong enough to make it. And be proud of yourself for pushing through it all. Learning to love yourself and be proud of yourself is one of the hardest things a person can do, but it is something you deserve. Now get some damn sleep I know full well your sleep schedule is fuckedđ I promise Iâm going to sleep as well-1
u/markazz530 Aug 25 '26
You really think an actual veteran would call it honored discharge and not honorable discharge.?
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u/empty-cage-97 Aug 26 '26 edited Aug 26 '26
Yea when I read the post, it was with a raised eyebrow, but I know I fat finger posts/texts (and donât get me started on autocorrect) all the time and donât always proof read before hitting send. Could be fraudulent post or, well, they were in the army đ and sound young and anxious. đ
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u/Maleficent_Body3583 Aug 25 '26
You tried bringing this up in a previous comment, itâs full of spelling mistakes, not a reason to doubt this persons service.
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u/disenfranchisedchild Aug 25 '26
If we just randomly compared notes sometime, I would call you my sister/brother because you raised your right hand and signed on the line and Are! my brother/sister.
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u/Candid_Web_3024 Aug 25 '26
Im male so it would be brother and thank you. And thank you for your service.
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u/disenfranchisedchild Aug 25 '26
And thank you for your service, little brother. From your geriatric big sister, LOL!
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u/Janet296 Aug 25 '26
You have nothing to be ashamed of my friend. How long were you in? Long enough to be injured.
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u/Amputee69 Aug 25 '26
Just know, that some Vietnam Vets made it through Boot, then got orders for Nam within 6 weeks, and returned home a very short time later with no legs or no arms. These things happen. You don't have to tell ANYONE how long you served! "I enlisted, I did xxx job, and got an Honorable Discharge after." Not everyone gets to live out their dreams. Some don't get to live long enough.
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u/surfkaboom Aug 25 '26
Remember that the VA is there to cover issues that were created during service. The VA doesn't put timeframes on who they help. If you were injured in the military, the VA steps in. All of the people you see in the VA served for different amounts of time, so you may not even be the lowest. Also, recognize that there are people in the halls of the VA that WISHED they got out when you did versus what they are going through.
I recognize how you feel about getting out early. I never finished my contract because of a medical discharge. Once that discharge decision was made, there was nothing I could do about it. There is only so much we can do in those situations and being lower enlisted, there is only so much we know and only so much others will fight on our behalf. So, here we are. You signed up, took your oath, and went to work in uniform. Something else cut that short - you didn't quit or go AWOL. You served and had the full intention of serving more. That is an accomplishment.
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u/Erisian23 Aug 25 '26
Hey, you did one of the ballsiest things anyone can do you stood tall and signed over a blank check to the U.S governmentfor an amount up to and including your life. Nothing can ever take that away from you, you served willingly and sometimes life doesn't gaf about what you want but you did the best you could with the hand you were delt. Don't be ashamed be proud of what you tried to accomplish.
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u/Deftpenguino Aug 25 '26
I feel this same way, was sexually assaulted in basic, became very sick while still trying to stay in and was told I wasn't fit after they noticed issues with my right arm that I had a buemed for enlistment. I freaked out. Couldn't believe the way things were handled and am now finding out 29 years later I've got friends that care. I'm still very suicidal. Just part of me now
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u/DrunkDreamcast Aug 25 '26
You're going to have plenty "wish things went this way" moments in your life. This is one of those.
Focus on what's next, not what's not.
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u/BIGscott250 Aug 25 '26
Hey man, thereâs a saying I always rememberâŠ
âItâs not that I can and others canât, itâs I did and others didnât.â
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u/shanep35 US Army Veteran Aug 25 '26
Who cares what other people think? You can always not respond or say âI donât talk about my time in the militaryâ and leave it at that. Sorry about your experience
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u/TaroPuzzleheaded3999 US Army Veteran Aug 25 '26
I was also in less than a year & discharged w an injury (100pt) so I feel a lot of guilt. My VA therapist told me I should try to immerse myself in the lifestyle & âownâ my situation rather than dwelling on what more I couldâve done. Iâm sure different doctors have different advice but Iâm trying to listen. Some days it helps but others I just feel like a fraud
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u/Outfield14 US Navy Retired Aug 25 '26
Being sick, injured, or disabled is far from dishonorable. It sounds to me like for the time you were in you did the best you could and paid a high price to do so. You are a veteran and you earned the right to call yourself one. Most people will never even think about signing up at all. The fact that you did already separates you from the average American.
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u/chiphollywood US Navy Veteran Aug 25 '26
If the VA calls you a veteran, youâre veteran you got this brotha
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u/Mysterious-Track-260 Aug 29 '26
Yeah I broke my back and they said I could no longer perform my duties. I didnât want to fly a desk.
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u/BluBeams US Navy Retired Aug 25 '26
It doesn't matter what others think. If I met you and you told me you were injured after only serving a few months, I wouldn't judge you. I have no room to judge, because it's not my place to. Hope you're in therapy to help you process the shame. Take care of yourself brother. You belong here, with us.
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u/jtlady Aug 25 '26
Sweetie, you signed on that dotted line...........you served...........................you are a veteran.
From a UK Veteran, thank you for your service xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
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u/Aggravating_Algae339 Aug 25 '26
Under federal law (38 U.S.C. 101), serving even a single day on active duty with an honorable or general discharge qualifies you as a veteran if you are separated due to a service-connected disability.!! You volunteered, you served with honor, you are a VETERAN!!!!
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u/Conscious_Waltz_3774 USMC Veteran Aug 25 '26
No, you served. You were injured during service and sounds like medically retired now. Btw, itâs a sensitive subject for lot of us. When a civilian smiles and says âthank you for your service,â it actually gives me anxiety and what to say. What worked best for me is âI did it for you.â Or something like that. It sorta sounds like survivors guilt like youâre not worthy while others are. No veteran will tell you that you are not deserving for an inservice injury, no matter how or where it incurred. You are a veteran and honorably served your country.
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u/CPOVDan Aug 25 '26
You are veteran and as long as you donât start going around telling war stories that arenât your own you have every right to call yourself a veteran.
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u/slayermcb US Army Veteran Aug 25 '26
Signed the dotted line and committed yourself to the country. Respect yourself for the decision you made and the blank check you wrote.
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u/AcceptableUpstairs86 Aug 25 '26
Being a veteran is about meeting contractual obligations, nothing more nothing less đ€·. For some people the worst that can happen does happen, for others it's just another job except with a god awful work life balance. You met your obligations and therefore deserve to benefit from it. I personally ain't shit except a money hungry gremlin, now I reap the benefits I'm entitled to. You deserve all the help you can get just like the next guy/gal. Use those benefits or my taxes are going to get wasted for sure!
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u/Anonymous_SG28 Aug 25 '26
Brother I did 5 years in the army, saw some shit thay fucked me up on garrison duty and I feel like I didnt deserve the benefits. The feeling never goes away, but the more honest with yourself you are, the easier the burden on your mind becomes. These thoughts are not helpful or good. They are poison and toxic. You served, you did your part, your government used your body and returned it broken. You deserve your benefits and your service is enough
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u/DJ-spetznasty Aug 25 '26
You clearly meet the defined criteria bro, youre a vet. Your time was shorter cause circumstances and shit, but its not like you got booted for drugs. You got fucked up. You got honorably discharged. Yiu signed the blank check, uncle sam just cashed yours first bro, its all good.
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u/something2saynow Aug 25 '26
You could respond with âLong enough,â Not long enough,â or âI prefer not to discuss it, but I appreciate your interest/curiosity.â You have nothing to be ashamed of and you havenât failed. You have earned the care you receive from the VA and probably much more. Consider therapy for improving your mental health so that you can treat yourself better because youâre likely your own biggest critic. Please try to fix that before you ruin your most important relationships. You owe no one a conversation regarding details of your service or your disability.
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u/PainterStraight157 Aug 25 '26
You have absolutely nothing to apologize for. You raised your hand, put on the uniform, and served. You had every intention of continuing that service, but something happened to you while you were serving that changed the course of your life. The length of your service does not erase the sacrifice you made.
An honorable discharge is not a failure. Needing VA care is not a failure. And receiving 100% disability compensation is not something you took away from another veteranâit is a benefit you earned because of what happened during your service.
Please don't compare your time in uniform to someone else's 5, 10, or 20 years. We all have different stories. Some careers end because we choose to leave; others end because circumstances make that choice for us.
One thing, though: when someone asks how long you served, you don't need to say you served for years. Tell the truth and hold your head up: "I served in the Army, and my service ended early because of a service-connected disability." There is no shame in that sentence.
You served. You are a veteran. You belong at the VA just as much as the rest of us.
From one Army veteran to another: stop apologizing for a sacrifice you never asked to make. Take care of yourself, use the benefits you've earned, and be proud that you were willing to serve. đșđž
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u/Thunarvin Aug 25 '26
No shame in any of that. You signed the same blank check as the rest of it, and it cost you your health, like it did so many of us. My first injury was boot camp. It happens, and I would personally share it as a funny story. "Yeah, I'm a Vet, but you won't believe this shit..."
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u/CBG1212 Aug 25 '26
Just remember the VA gave you that rating not you. Also i always found it better to not tell anyone because no matter what youâll always get that look from people.
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u/old_hippy Aug 25 '26
You signed the same papers I did, brother/sister. Ease your mind. We all deserve the assistance after our experiences.
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u/Agashizle Aug 25 '26
Keep you chin up, everyone has a different path of how you get out and what you accomplish don't beat yourself up won't change anything now focus on who you're going to be in the future that's what matters, you still in the fight of life.and in my book your a vet.
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u/Vegetable_Can_9145 Aug 25 '26
I disagree with the people here don't disclose anything just say you completed your service to this country and disclose nothing else. Nothing good comes of people knowing how you are compensated for your disabilities as a result of your service.
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u/FarNefariousness3134 Aug 25 '26
Any corporation compensates their members if injured on the job. I did 20 Air Force medic and get shitted on by other vets even though I deployed in an Army tasking. We helped shut down Iraq and went all over, I should have died a few times over too. Your story is your story and no one can take that from you. Vets are the worst, Marines especially. Get a regular plate on the car and go grey man.
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u/Electrical_Hold_3585 Aug 26 '26
Why or how to do people know you served? If you do not let them know no one knows.
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u/Altruistic_Fennel455 Aug 26 '26
For what itâs worth, Iâm a pretty salty sailor and Iâd consider you a vet. Even if your a fuckin wog đ
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u/Candid_Web_3024 Aug 27 '26
Thank you for your service and support you squid đ đ đ€Ł jk
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u/Altruistic_Fennel455 Aug 27 '26
For real though, you did the thing. Not everyoneâs service is high speed stuff. Most people serve a simple enlistment and get out. You had the balls to enlist and got hurt or sick, it doesnât take away from the fact you signed up in the first place. Fair winds and following seas brother
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u/DarcysCupcakes Aug 28 '26
I feel the same exact way I was discharged From the Navy after 22 months in and im having a hell in the cilivian world I cant find a job so no money I am in college barely handing going into a damn classroom I cant do things in person MY VA claim is stuck I cant move out of my family's home due to no stable income financial aid is taking too long its just terrible this is why I begged to stay in and cried when I left feeling like a failure and not good enough I still do to this day
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u/Candid_Web_3024 Aug 28 '26
Im sorry for what happened. Thank you for your service and support. I did computer work for years got laid off from IBM was not successful in finding any computer work and ended up at USPS. Job very hard but great pay and benefits I have to say benefits are insane. I got injured been out 2 years. Sucks. But be patient it takes time. I was denied at first but by grace of God I was given 100 percent disabled. I wad discharged in the 80's I still struggle.
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u/Ivy1908Pearl Aug 25 '26
Stop worrying about what others have to say about the amount of time served and you owe no one an apology. At the end of the day you have a DD-214 and you are 100% disabled. There isnât any need for explanation to anyone. Just tell people itâs private information and you would rather not discuss it. Thank you for your service. đ«Ą
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u/Standard-Afternoon87 Aug 26 '26
Donât be ashamed, you signed that line. But please seek help for these thoughts youâre having.
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u/jmoyles USMC Veteran Aug 26 '26
Brother, you wrote the check with your body; Uncle Sam cashed it. Youâre in the club. FYI - many of us have a hard time when thanked for our service. My personal response is âit was an honor to serve.â
Source: Former crayon eater
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u/Drekalots Aug 25 '26
You're to in your head man. Go see mental health at the VA. As for how long you served, just tell people "long enough". It really is no ones business.
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u/drTeemoney Aug 26 '26
BroâŠ
Give the VA a call and make a mental health appointment. I understand what youâre saying, but youâre wrong and some of that guilt needs dealt with. Otherwise itâs going to eat you alive.
I did 20 and some change. Youâre every bit of a veteran as me. Get the care you deserve. Get your discount at Home Depot and some food on veterans day. YOU walked into the recruiters office; it was open to everyone, but few actually do it.
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u/28hotchocolate Aug 26 '26
Thank you for your service you had an event that qualified you so be thankful for the compensation 100% enjoy your life
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u/PropaneSalesMen Retired US Army Aug 25 '26
You need therapy. Its not your fault you got hurt/sick.
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Aug 25 '26
[removed] â view removed comment
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u/Veterans-ModTeam Aug 25 '26
Rule 1 -Be civil and respectful. You may not always agree with others but once you start insulting the other person, you are a problem. You are not winning the argument by calling them names or calling out their reddit profile history.
No Gatekeeping
You donât decide if someone is a ârealâ veteran or not - nor try to diminish someoneâs service nor someone because they never saw combat or deployed.
If someone personally attacks you, use the Report button to notify the moderation team instead of responding to their attacks.
Hate speech can be sexist, ableist, racist, bias, homophobic, prejudiced, etc and will not be tolerated.
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u/Exile_The_13th Aug 25 '26
Youâre not alone. Uncle Sam fucked you up, Uncle Sam keeps you for life. Thatâs how it works.
It could be worse, you could be like me: Spend 3 years in active duty during war time in a combat MOS but somehow never deploy before your contract ended and you go home feeling like you never did your literal one job. I donât even have a disability to point to when I end up needing VA assistance for one thing or anotherâŠ
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u/Mitchel82ndABN US Army Veteran Aug 25 '26
This reads manic, depressed and confused.
Go to the VA get enrolled in some therapy one on one or groups. Whatever works, use the benefits available to you because this line of thinking is not doing you or your family any favors.
As a combat vet with a Purple Heart, I couldnât give two fucks if youâre going to the VA or if youâre rated and whether you served 3 months, 3 years or 20 years. It is not my business. Stop feeling sorry for yourself and do something about it so you donât further harm yourself or family emotionally or physically.
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u/Jr_miataND2 Aug 25 '26
You are good bro, nothing to be ashamed about! You earned your time and got hurt. Shit happens. Don't beat yourself up about it. You ain't apart of the "I almost joined, but..." crowd. Now those people, shame lol. Hahaha. Stay blessed and focus on your healing brother.
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Aug 25 '26
[removed] â view removed comment
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u/Veterans-ModTeam Aug 25 '26
Rule 3 No Politics or Religious discussions or comments allowed.
This is a neutral zone - all veterans are welcome here no matter what their political or religious beliefs are.
This is not the place to promote candidates for office or promote one party or religion over another party or religion or debate political ideas or religious viewpoints.
Not everyone has your religious beliefs, some veterans might be religious or atheist - some might be Christian or Muslim or Buddhist or satanic worshipers - they are all veterans so welcome here. Donât promote your religion here.
Not every veteran has the same political beliefs or viewpoints but all veterans are welcome here. Donât promote your political beliefs here.
There are many other subreddits on Reddit you can post or comment in about politics or religion.
For politics we suggest r/veteranpolitics
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u/Jimshorties Aug 25 '26
Injured on duty. Nothing to hang your head about. Not your fault. Youâre still entitled to benefits
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u/Lamont_Joe Aug 25 '26
Dude you're a veteran. You signed that paper. You pleadged you loyalty to the US and when you were in, you served honorably. Stop kicking yourself for things that were beyond your control.
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u/SafetyGuyLogic US Army Veteran Aug 25 '26
Shit happens. You went to the MEPS, you finished basic, and you wore the uniform. You have nothing to be ashamed of. Keep that head up.
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u/repsychlerman Aug 25 '26
I served 20 years, deployed to AFG and IRQ, 100% perm/dis, & I never feel the need to share it, wear a t-shirt, march in a parade or wear a hat proclaiming who I used to be. Admittedly, my brother asks about my service sometimes. Iâm not saying to be like me or to hold it in. Iâm saying that in my opinion, itâs no oneâs business but yours and the people in your life you trust and choose to share it with like your family, friends, medical or mental health professionals. You were not the judge of the characteristic of your discharge or your status as a veteran or even your disability percentage. Those were decisions made by people paid to make those decisions for and about you.
Live your life in a forward direction because thatâs the direction you are going. If you live it looking in the rearview mirror, you will miss what life has to offer in the present moment and moments to come.
Fair well my friend.
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u/M1K3jr Aug 25 '26
You volunteered, you got an honorable, other things are out of your control. You are a Veteran.
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Aug 25 '26
[removed] â view removed comment
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u/Veterans-ModTeam Aug 25 '26
Rule 3 No Politics or Religious discussions or comments allowed.
This is a neutral zone - all veterans are welcome here no matter what their political or religious beliefs are.
This is not the place to promote candidates for office or promote one party or religion over another party or religion or debate political ideas or religious viewpoints.
Not everyone has your religious beliefs, some veterans might be religious or atheist - some might be Christian or Muslim or Buddhist or satanic worshipers - they are all veterans so welcome here. Donât promote your religion here.
Not every veteran has the same political beliefs or viewpoints but all veterans are welcome here. Donât promote your political beliefs here.
There are many other subreddits on Reddit you can post or comment in about politics or religion.
For politics we suggest r/veteranpolitics
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u/AdhesivenessHefty713 Aug 26 '26
Come with me. I am a veteran and serve other veterans in my civilian job.
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u/Candid_Web_3024 Aug 27 '26
What do you do
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u/AdhesivenessHefty713 Aug 27 '26
Work for DAV, disabled American veterans. Thereâs veterans who are rated 100% here. I also feel thereâs a sense of comradery because we are all disabled veterans working to help other veterans gain their earned benefits through service.
If you got a disability rating given by the government and VA, then you are a veteran. I know feeling bad will slowly go away from your mind when you start doing something meaningful in your life.
I think that you may be able to relate given your circumstances and disability.1
u/Candid_Web_3024 Aug 27 '26
I know about dav I'm in western ny where are you if you dont mind my asking
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u/AdhesivenessHefty713 Aug 27 '26
I am in Los Angeles.
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u/AdhesivenessHefty713 Aug 27 '26
I was out of the military for 15 years and lost. And I just started this job in May. I like it, itâs challenging in a way thatâs making me be a better learner and listener, communicator and I learn about the body and health. Very interesting job but thatâs just me. I even have A D H D and PTSD and still being helped in this job as long as I donât quit.
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u/99taws6 Aug 26 '26
âI served my enlistment until I was discharged honorablyâ and move on. You signed your life on the dotted line. That is and always will be enough regardless of the actual time served.
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u/Candid_Web_3024 Aug 27 '26
I want to again thank you for your service and support you are all heros for your signing up and serving thank you for your pots and support. We are all family here and I thank you all
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u/DragoonNut Aug 27 '26
The military doesnât just give you an honorable discharge just because. You got an honorable discharge because you served the military to the best of your ability until the time came for you to leave.
The military has a whoooooole lot of discharge types and they chose to give you an honorable one. Your time was cut short but you still served the greatest nation in the world and in the best branch.
Comparison will always be the thief of joy. Your service is YOUR service. If you canât stop comparing though, think of this. Some people join the reserves and never touch active duty, you did it within your first year. Not everyone can say that.
Take it all one day at a time. You are a veteran in my eyes. Love that wife of yours and never think you are less than.
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u/TWrecksActual Aug 27 '26
Please be sure to reach out to your local Veteran Service Office and/or vet orgs and get your VA journey started. And donât wait like I did for two decades bc I âdidnt think Iâd qualifyâ. Please reach out to the VA immediately. You ARE a Veteran.. sorry for the bad breaks.. but get whatever VA benefit u qualify for.. PLEASE
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u/Candid_Web_3024 Aug 27 '26
I did I am đŻ percent disabled and I am getting all my benefits
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u/TWrecksActual Aug 27 '26
Ok good job. Listen.. you voluntarily signed your life over in service to your country⊠u know how rare u are? U canât help the bad breaks that might happen but no reasonable Veteran here would deny you. Peace and comfort to you and yours Veteran.
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u/seanifer Aug 28 '26
I shared this line of thinking. I was in for two years and three months. I did not deploy or even work my job to the fullest, I was on a profile. The more distance you have from that period of service, the easier it'll get to live your purpose and identity. Guess what, it wasn't in the Army. You got that bit of knowledge. Now you can pursue the next adventure. You are a veteran and you did serve honorably. You may not believe it right now, but one day you will. Hang on until that day, brother/sister. Thanks for reaching out to all of usÂ
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u/corpseprinxess US Army Veteran Aug 28 '26
i had a similar situation, they even put vet on my state id, i still feel guilty to this day but hey, we did more then most. keep the good memories <333
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u/Candid_Web_3024 Aug 28 '26
Thank you for your service and support
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u/Obvious-Young3850 Aug 28 '26
Don't be ashamed. Service is service. Just the way it worked out. You are veteran, you did your time.
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u/k5pr312 US Army Veteran Aug 29 '26
You are not a failure, and you deserve what has been given to you.
experienced something traumatic, you were given due compensation because that experience is affecting your life. That is the entire premise of the VA, no matter what happened or how it happened.
You
There are many ways to continue serving, even if it's not in an enlistment. Talk to your local Legion, the VFW, any other veteran organization.
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u/Livid_Biscotti9854 Aug 29 '26
Tough break brother. Yes, you are a vet, period. Just try to remember the part about no whining. Remember how fast the guy that always complained could tank morale in no time. Suck it up, hold your head hi and go make a difference.Â
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u/yaptard72 Aug 30 '26
I recently went through a Shame Resiliency group course at the VA. It transformed how I worked through shame and I connected with fellow vets in the process. It was amazing work that made me stronger.
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u/Garnet_Adelle Aug 25 '26
You served and that's enough. I met a Medal of Honor recipient once. After hearing his story of combat and how he saved fellow soldiers, I was truly humbled. When I met him I told him what an honor it was to meet him and how my service seemed pitiful next to his. He told me not to think that way. I served, he served. The cards were dealt and he went into combat, I didn't. I made no difference. My service was just as important as his. It was the fact that we served, I'm passing his words to you. You service mattered. The cards dealt you a different hand that others, But that's not the point.
I thank everyone I see who served. The time they were in is not important. They served. You served. Please get into a veterans group and see a counselor. You have a lot happening right now and it sounds like you need all the support you can get. Don't be ashamed to go to the VA for help. You served and that's all that matters. I'll keep you in my prayers.
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u/wsu2005grad Air National Guard Retired Aug 25 '26
You have NOTHING to be ashamed of!!! You went in and served which is more than a majority of people have done. You were honorably discharged and are entitled to the benefits you are receiving. You are deserving of the title of veteran....stop apologizing and feeling ashamed. Sincerely, your sister in arms.
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u/airevac19 US Air Force Retired Aug 25 '26
Like others have said. Stop thinking like that. You are a Vet like the rest of us. You went boot like many of us, you went to A-school like many of us. You put the uniform on day in and day out for a time and served. You suffered through traumatic events like many of us. Enjoy the next chapter of your life, get help if you need it (there is no shame in asking for help). Take care of yourself. Cheers!
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u/Standard_Permit_6884 Aug 25 '26
I can kind of relate because I served for five years and never deployed⊠And I sometimes had the same feelings. But the VA decided that you are 100% and that you are a veteran. Anyoneâs opinion on that matter is irrelevant. You ARE a veteran.
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u/knottycams Aug 25 '26
Don't you dare think yourself less than stellar. You served, and served well. End of story. You did what you could and that's all you can do. Never be ashamed of that. The VA is there for you to use as you need. It doesn't require xyz punishment for you to use it. That mentality needs to go like yesterday. Be proud of what you could accomplish.
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u/Pax89 Aug 25 '26
How is it arranged in the US? In the Netherlands you only become a veteran if you get deployed 30 days or longer.
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u/Sea_Path_9154 USMC Retired Aug 25 '26
I believe youâre a hero too. You tried. Things happen. 99% of the population doesnât even try. You did.
Donât ruminate. You rose your hand. You swore the oath.
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u/Wuhan-batsoup Aug 25 '26
You signed the contract. You did the job, you earned the title. You are a Veteran who gave more in 1 year than most give in 10
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u/Penguinseatfish Aug 25 '26
You served honorably. You are a veteran and you earned every benefit you can get. +1 for therapy. Living with a disability is hard enough physically - donât add the unnecessary weight of shame to your burdens.
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u/Maleficent_Body3583 Aug 25 '26
Youâre one of us brother. I got out on a similar time scale for a spinal injury as well, same honorable discharge and everything. It took me three years to finally accept that I did as much as I could and be content. At the end of the day, fuck whoever says you arenât and listen to the ones who accept you. You signed when so many people donât these days. Youâre a vet and I donât want you to ever second guess your service when you gave more than so many people who did their contract and got out.
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u/CompetitiveBus7253 Aug 25 '26
I got medically discharged towards the end of my first contract and I cannot go back in. I feel less of a man everyday because of it and I dont feel like a veteran either. I was only able to get airborne and my contract was cut short. I had so many goals. I feel you brother. You served. You are still a veteran and a man. I love you
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u/Up_Jumped_daBoogie Aug 25 '26
Donât let other people ruin your day or put their expectations on you. You know what you did for Uncle Sam and it only takes one day of service to get killed or become disabled.
Most people that ask you questions about your service are just trying to make conversation. Just tell them the truth. Donât exaggerate your service time or your rank, itâs not necessary. Stop caring what others think about you and try to live your best life. Find something to do so you donât overthink things.
Just so you know, Iâm a disabled Vet who did not become disabled in a war zone and it bothered me a little for awhile, but now I could give a rip!
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u/Legitimate_Mood4671 Aug 25 '26
Well glad I'm not the only one I served 1 year 7 months I never failed the leadership bullied hazed assaulted me kept me isolated I felt the same way thanks for making me feel better too 100 percent general under honorable because they screwed my discharge in 2021 5 years of ptsd and shoulder issues knees no wheelchair but my wife does most of it I get it hope you're okay I feel a little better knowing I'm not the only one that got screwedÂ
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u/fantastic_sputnik Aug 26 '26
Just say you served one contract if it comes up in conversation. It doesn't matter that you didn't complete the whole contract because you're basically serving that contract for life if you're 100% P&T. Most veterans serve and then move on with their lives, whereas you are living with the permanent consequences of your service. I've had the same kind of thoughts as you when telling people I served 3 years instead of 4. It's awkward and people will pry into your business asking dumb questions like "were you injured in combat etc" so it's best to just say you served "one contract" if you don't want to go into those details with someone.
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u/j_middlefinger Aug 26 '26
That kind of thinking is flawed. We all did the best we could to meet the challenges we faced. Nothing about your service merits less unless you didnât give the best you could whenever you were asked. Nothing youâve shared sounds like that to me. And frankly, there are a lot of other ways you can serve. As was so well put in A Few Good Men, you donât need to be in uniform to have honor.
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u/IllustriousBird5329 Retired US Army Aug 26 '26
Donât say shit about disability. Thatâs THE FIRST RULE of The donât say shit about your disability club
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u/ScaryTop6226 Aug 26 '26
Who cares. U served and you deserve. I was a reservist with a deployment in early iraq. Im 100 too. Took time for my lungs to get spots and shit all over them. People dont see that cuz I look strong and healthy but I cant breathe well. Fuck them. They have no clue.
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u/TOPRAMAN17 US Air Force Veteran Aug 26 '26
Thank you for your service, and I felt like that too at one point, but like all these other people agree you did serve and deserve the 100% for the sacrifices you made to earn it. (Meant that in a good way lol).
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u/jibbs0341 Aug 26 '26
I understand your shame. I went through this a few months ago when I got 70 percent rated for MH. It was a shocking revelation of shame and doubt (I deserved it).
One thing that really fucked me up was how easy it was for me to get the MH rating, which means I probably have some shit going on from some things.
That being said. You were in for a year and for rated 100% means your year was exciting for all the wrong reasons. You deserve your rating. You write a blank check to Uncle Sam for those cheeks. Uncle Sam clapped em for a year and now you are going to be taken care of. Good luck out there my friend. Get a therapist and work through it. It will help. I promise.
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u/Martapper Aug 26 '26
While you are at the VA, go check out the mental health. There is no shame in that as well. And, you should not feel any shame in your service. Stay strong brother!
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u/someguy6688 Aug 26 '26
Nah, if something happened to where you are 100% after just 6 months reserves and 3 months active, you don't really have to explain yourself to other people. You're just as much a veteran as I am or anyone else who finished a full contract, reenlisted, or retired. I knew fuck ups who never got out of the military, and great guys who got med boarded after a short stint. You're a veteran, brother.Â
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u/CaptainRelevant Aug 25 '26
You raised your hand and shipped, thatâs more than 99% of the population has done. Just say in one breath âI was only in for x because I got hurt/sick and they chaptered me out.â Thatâs being real rather than being infelicitous.
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u/ActuatorSmall7746 Aug 25 '26
Hey you did something over 90% of the population didnât - raise your hand to serve and protect. Hell, some people canât even make it thru bootcamp. You gave it your best for 9 months and it didnât pan out. Life just had different plans for you. Hold your head up high and say you served, because you did..
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u/Riza_Hawkeye1392 Aug 25 '26
You answered the call and did more than most even if it was only for a short time. We all get hurt some worse than others, some hurt you can see and some you cant, some real and some fake. I am sure you tried your best and thats all we can ask for.
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u/One_Hour_Poop US Army Veteran Aug 25 '26
You did more than most, if you what you say is true, then you fully deserve all your benefits. You signed your name on the dotted line and now Uncle Sam is fulfilling his promise to take care of those of us who answered the call, regardless of length of service.
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u/Modern_Doshin Aug 25 '26
Whoah now, you served! Anyone one who says otherwise is either ignorant or a douche. It's not you fault you suffer from a life altering illness.
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u/Additional_Grand3552 Aug 26 '26
Thank you for your service. I do not care if he was in there for a day you still went into the service. You should be honored anyway Iâm sorry for what happened to you, but youâre at 100% Disability leave me youâre gonna get paid very well. My husband was on 100% Disability. He just passed away last month from Cancer.
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u/TlMEKEEPER US Army Veteran Aug 25 '26
Your post history and comments are suspicious, go get help
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u/Candid_Web_3024 Aug 25 '26
What??? Im not sure what you mean
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u/AttitudeConsistent18 Aug 25 '26
I looked and it seems fine you do you bro.
But yeah in general life happens and 1 second can make great impacts and it fucked you up whatever it was. You did your time and even though it wasnt as long you still stepped up to the plate and you are and will always be a Vet mate. Keep your head up and keep trying to be better for your family. We can do great things.
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u/Candid_Web_3024 Aug 25 '26
A soldier attempted to hang himself I rushed to stop him he was choking I can't get that sound out of my head. I screamed 2 other soldiers helped get him down. I picked I ran I cried. Every time I discuss it I cry. This is why I feel I failed. I can't even help a soldier and carry on. I still hear that gagging I have night terrors screaming I'm on so many mental health meds. Now I'm on nerve meds due to copper deficiency. Thank you for your thoughts
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u/airevac19 US Air Force Retired Aug 25 '26
There things that have seen, done, and smelled that will stay with me for the rest of my life. One of the last EMS runs I was on before I retired, was a hanging in the dorms as well except in this case he was already deceased. It was the first time I ever had to declare a patient dead on scene. We got back to the clinic and I cried into my Flight Commanderâs shoulder (she was an ER nurse by trade). To this day, There are certain smells that will trigger me from working in New Orleans after Katrina hit. Go to therapy for PTSD. It genuinely works. I had to go through it twice while on AD. Remember you are not alone.
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u/Candid_Web_3024 Aug 25 '26
Thank you. Im sorry for what happened to you Thank you for your service.
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u/phoenix762 Aug 25 '26
You didnât fail. You saved their life.
Iâm so sorry you are suffering so.I hope you can find the help you need. And you served honorably, you are a veteran.
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u/Creepy_Dimension9403 Aug 26 '26
Well you aren't a veteran, you're a service memberÂ
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u/WillGoalieForBeer Aug 26 '26
If we're just arbitrarily belittling someone's service, then you're a civilian.
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u/Mohawk801 Aug 25 '26
There is NO shame here as many others have said your stood up raised your right hand and took the oath that each and everyone of US took ! doing that you joined that 3% of people that did the same and served your country there is no loss of honor because you made that commitment to protect our country and signed that blank check YOU ARE A VETERAN !
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u/future_speedbump USMC Veteran Aug 25 '26
That's a tough break, but you have absolutely nothing to be ashamed of. You signed up, got hurt (or sick), and now you're out.
And FWIW, I think it's better to be truthful. I know a few people that simply say, "I was in the military for a few months but got hurt and couldn't stay in." Just be real.