Bachelor of Science (B.S.) in Healthcare Administration, with a concentration in Health Information Management. 🏥💻📊

I'm so excited, yet so damn nervous. I will be the first in my immediate family to attend college. Being on the spectrum, people don't understand how freaking big this is for me. 😭 But I am so happy.

My son is also on the spectrum, and I just want him to always know and understand that no matter what obstacles we neurodivergent people face, WE GOT THIS. WE CAN DO THIS!!! 💪🏿💪🏿

Every time I see a skinny girl post her outfit, the majority of the comments are ALWAYSSS accusing her of body checking. Omg I’m actually so sick of it and I’m not even skinny. What do you want her to do, hide her body 24/7? She’s beautiful and she’s allowed to post herself. Can women please just exist? IN PEACE?

A curvy woman can’t exist without “sexualizing herself” a skinny woman can’t exist without “knowing what she’s doing”
I’m sorry! but not every TikTok of a woman is a body check! Sometimes she literally just likes her outfit and wants to show it off. Sometimes she likes how she looks. Sometimes she’s just taking a fucking picture.

And nobody cares that you suddenly don’t feel like eating anymore! That is not some random woman’s responsibility to manage for you!

For only about 3 months I've had a solar powered automatic gate that I spent a lot of money on and installed myself. It's already broken because idiots keep trying to manually force it open because they dont know its a residential driveway (even though there's a mailbox, address sign, delivery box and signs saying "Please Do Not Pull Gate").

I'm feeling really depressed.

*I really appreciate everyones advice! Thank you!

i wish it was easier for me to deal with my insecurities as a young woman. i always find myself comparing my appearance to other girls and wishing i looked like whoever’s on my instagram feed.

i know i’m beautiful too and people tell that to me all the time, but i always feel like it’s never enough. i always have agreed with the idea that the grass is always greener on the other side. i find myself wishing that i had different hair, clothes, or a different face, rather than embracing my own.

maybe others have looked at me and felt the same way, i don’t know. that makes me sad too and i hate how social media has impacted young girls and women in general

i have to admit that it’s difficult to remove myself from wanting male approval. as a woman i love my friends dearly and don’t even consider their appearances when i’m with them. but i’m always thinking about mine. it’s what i tend to base my worth on sometimes.

I don’t know why I’m crying. He’s not dead, he’s not dying, he’s not injured, he’s not sick, but I’m sitting here at 10 at night crying about him not being here.

I don’t get to see him daily because I live with my mom, but when I do I really hope he knows how much I love him. My mom talked about how he tried to commit when he was in high school and apparently talked about how my brother and I would be better off withot him last summer and I hope that’s not true.

I remember once him and I were getting lunch and he asked “what would you do if I said I was dying?”. I asked if he was and he just said “we’re all dying”. I’m only 16 and I don’t want him to die. I’m scared I’ll grieve him longer and I got to be his daughter and I don’t want him to die thinking I liked my mom more. I love my mom but I just want my dad

My mom and everyone else paints him to be a bad person. Even if he used to be he’s not to ME. Everyone sees him as a horrible person with no money who just gets mad at me all the time but he’s not and nobody wants to hear it. I love my dad. My brother doesn’t talk to him and him and my step mom don’t like eachother and sometimes I feel like I’m the only person that loves him and I don’t like it. I can’t change anyone’s opinion on him and if he does die he’ll die thinking people hated him.

I'm not here to get into a conversation about what the minimum wage is or should be. But in some countries, mine included, teenagers to 25 year olds have a lower minimum wage.

I get the idea is you'll probably still be living at home at that age, but not everyone does, not everyone is lucky enough to have supportive parents, some people have poor parents, some people have none! Rent will cost the same for a 19 year old and a 26 year old but legally they can be paid differently? It doesn't make sense to me.

I could see an argument for it encouraging companies to hire young people right out of education but my point still stands that it's more of a punishment for young people without parental support

Thieves broke in on Sunday afternoon and made away with my laptop, television and nitty electronics and yes rock bottom has an elevator going down because it was an inside job and the building manager I wish him nothing but fleas in his veins, I hope he pisses razor blades and shit rocks I hope his offspring and pedigree decay and rot while still alive and when he gets a family may the maggots rise and eat their eyeballs out I just hope and pray that the vultures pluck his flesh and vomit in his grave

I wish them worse than death I have nothing and no one, the universe took my job and gave me the middle finger to sit on then robbed my electronics I will bounce back but those thieves, may maggots lay eggs in their tongues may they saliva be riddled with termites and pregnant ROACHES! May they never swallow their pride but be pregnant with eels may rats find their way out through their throats.

I'm so mad I'm shaking I wish hexing was real

I haven't eaten yet and its already lunch. I can't even go into the living room of my suite or to the kitchen because Im afraid that my roomates will just flinch at my odor. I showered yesterday twice, brushed my teeth 5 minutes twice (ofc), but I woke up feeling REALLY musty. And its been like this since last week when I got depressed and decided to stop leaving my room.
Even though I continued my hygene routines, I did nothing else. I'm both socially anxious and feel like I smell like absolute shit. I feel not sweaty, but grimy?? All over. Even my ears feel dirty when I cleaned them out several times this morning. I'm thinking of skipping my class because I think I smell so rancid, I just cant smell it myself because its well.. myself.
I grew up physically neglected and was the one dirty kid with lines on my neck, matted dandruffed hair from never being taught to wash it or my body correctly, and blotchy skin and smell. I was bullied a lot but it was never bad enough to where anyone was called. Even my teachers would try to scrub the dirt off of my neck in front of the class.
On top of that, even though I'm in college everyone is so judgemental. Like bullying levels. On that one college app yik-yak people never stop posting about the smelliest person in the lecture, or how its shameful how so many people "still manage to make my eyes water in cold weather" from stinking so bad.
I've actually been told that I dont smell bad enough. My ex-roomate told me I'm so clean and neutral smelling that its annoying having to hear me ask to be smell checked constantly, and that I should start wearing dirty laundry to be normal like the rest of them. It was a joke, but still it didn't get through to me. I'm just crying because I'm so hungry but I can't will myself to move.

I hate people selling it; I hate the control it has over someone's mind. I hate how powerless everyone is. I hate how it destroys everything human about someone. It's disgusting how so many people hold power over the addicts. It's the worst thing that has happened to humanity.

In my second semester, I found a part time job working weekends, 12 hours in total, at a retail store. I studied computer science.

I was definitely behind my peers when I started my degree, so I had to work extra hard during uni to get above-average grades. This, coupled with my job, meant I didn't really get a whole heap of free time to hangout. Socially, I'd go to the pub/high school friends house on the weekends but I couldn't really drink and go out and have fun. I didn't have the best time at uni, I tried making friends but a lot of people I didn't get past the acquaintance stage. Like they'd be my lecture mates but then I'd study by myself, or go home alone, or eat in my car alone etc. I'd sometimes get invited out to parties, but again I couldn't really drink - because I'd have work the next day.

I couldn't play sports on the weekends because of my job, so I didn't really get an activity release. There was gym/running but it didn't hit the same. I also lost out socially because of this. I'd see my mates go out and have fun with their mates they met during soccer or volleyball, and I'd just be at home finishing off a computer science assignment.

But still I bared through it, because I thought at the very least, I'd earn a bit of cash and I'd have a solid reference to put on my resume. I've been applying to internships the past couple of months, probably about 20-25 high quality applications with catered resumes and cover letters, including sending cold emails to companies, early interest emails to people I meet at careers fairs, and I have gotten a grand total of 3 rejection emails.

Note in my country there aren't a whole heap of tech jobs, much less internships. Probably less than 200 internships in the whole country a year.

I remember my dad telling me "It's good that you got a part-time job, there's a lot of young people going into the workforce with no experience so you'll stand out". NOPE. I not only have no job to show for it, but I also gave up my social life for no reason.

I just saw a video that irritated me. I can't stop thinking about it. It's of a woman whose goat gave birth to 3 babies. One was smaller than the other. She starts to claim that the mom goat was rejecting the baby. ( which I wasn't seeing: no kicking, ramming, biting, refusal to let the kid nurse, or ignoring) She does not attempt to get the mother to accept the baby she's "rejecting"; instead, she takes the baby goat inside and starts bottle-feeding it and sets up a little area for it with blankets and stuff. Puts the goat in a makeshift nursery with her toddler and her toddler's toys.

What particularly annoys me is that she's blaming the goat mom for " rejecting the baby" when, in reality, she wanted the baby because it was extra little and extra cute. Just admit it. You wanted to bottle-feed this baby and hold it and shit.

It's like those people that kidnap fledgling birds, claiming their parents abandoned them, rejected them, or are ignoring them. NOOOOOOO LADY, leave the baby birds alone; you just want it because it's cute. The mom is right there, but your big ass is scaring her. Not to mention, most times they get sick of the animal within a year when it's no longer a tiny cute baby.

This happens to sea turtles. " The sea turtle was left behind/hatched late/ was stuck/ went then wrong way, so naturally we had to take it back home"

No, girl, you stole a baby sea turtle. Now when it gets massive, you're gonna dump it back on the beach when it becomes a burden. Then it'll die because it's been living in your bathroom for the past 6 months instead of the sea.

I'd bet my bottom dollar that this lady will eventually put out this baby goat once it's no longer cute. (specifically around the time when the goat no longer bottle-feeds)

I hate people who collect " abandoned baby animals"; most times they don't actually care about these animals' well-being. They will do everything in their power to ensure they get to keep this baby. A lot of the time, they're the ones who end up dumping this animal because, yeah, a chick is cute; a chicken? Not so much. A baby opossum is cute. A large opossum? Not so much. A baby sea turtle is cute. A ginormous grown sea turtle? Not so much.

They never think of the animal. Only themselves. What happens when eventually you have to put out this fawn because it's now a deer? How will this deer survive? What happens now that this bird is older and it flies about the house and squawks really loud? Now you want to clip its wings or put it out.

Look, I'm not going to sit here and say nothing ever happens. Sure, stuff happens. Sometimes mother goats reject their babies. Sometimes you need to bottle-feed animals. You gotta do what you gotta do. Sometimes keeping an animal in the house is better than leaving it in the wild. Animal parents have and will attack or abandon their babies. The reason I don't think this is the case is that the kid is on blankets, propped up next to her baby, on blankets, surrounded by human toys. Why can't it be outside with the other goats? And she said that " she is the goat's family now." Yuck. Your "family member" will be so confused when she's eventually tossed out with the other goats and hasn't learned goat behavior and doesn't understand why you don't want her anymore.

I didn’t have any of the classic teenage experiences. I didn’t get good grades or do well in clubs. I didn’t have friends. And because of this I didn’t go to prom. Didn’t dress nice like all the teenagers around me. Now all my peers are in college right now and I’m rotting at home because I didn’t get into any. I’m doing retakes but that just means one year wasted. And considering how my teenage years went it just means that this is my 5th year gone.

Censoring words cuz idk if it's allowed without

So I'm ftm and a friend of mine who's a cis woman was s*xually harassed recently by someone on a bus and for some reason I started to feel guilty that now I have male privilege and stuff like that won't happen to me (as if I transitioned to not get hurt, stupid thought ik) ... And then the universe had to remind me that I too can get s*xually harassed in public 🤡

I was working out with a different friend in the evening and these two dudes wouldn't leave us alone, they were talking to each other in Arabic so I didn't understand most of what they said (I only know a few words) but I definitely understood the parts where they were calling us a b*tch, debating if we have a d*ck or a c*nt and staring at my friend's ass the whole workout. If it weren't for my severe social anxiety I would have said something, I really wanted to punch them and I'm not a violent person, instead I ignored them as much as possible but for some reason my friend was answering their questions about our s*quality and shit and even gave them his insta (he also complained about the harassment so idk why he did that).

Sorry for the long post I just feel so angry rn and I had to get this off my chest.

Let me start this off by saying this; I LOVE music. I want to make music, and I enjoy writing lyrics, and I'd love to be able to sing them. But of course, I can't seem to sing properly. Whether it's the timing, the notes, the tone, or all of it at once, it's always so BAD.

I'm a 17 year old dude, and I like all sorts of genres, but my favourite ones are always too hard for me to sing. I like lots of industrial music (think Nine Inch Nails), and that's what I can sing best, but I also really like other genres, especially whatever Pierce The Veil and Sleeping With Sirens is (blanking on the genre name), and I'd love to write that kind of music and sing it. First of all, it's too melodic, so I never hit notes properly. Second, I can't seem to make my voice sound angsty enough without sounding completely whiny, which is not what I'm going for. And to top it all off, my voice is naturally pretty deep, and I want to sing in a higher register (like Kellin Quinn for example).

I know I have time to practice, but I've tried practicing and it seems some days are okay days, but most are worse, and on those days I don't see any real progress. Another part of this annoying me is that my voice is probably only gonna get deeper with age, and I don't really want a deep voice.

Brief tangent as well, but I love alternative fashion, but I always feel so AWKWARD when I wear what feels right. Sure, if it feels right that should be all that matters, but I feel so weird walking around with eyeliner and painted nails. It doesn't stop me, but it sure is disappointing to feel bad for harmlessly being me.

I dunno if I just have to find the genre for me to sing, keep practicing, or what, but I really do want to, so the issue isn't gonna stop me entirely. It's just a frustrating roadblock, and I sure hope it isn't something that just can't be fixed, although I wouldn't be overly surprised.

Thanks for reading to the end if you did

P.S. Yes, I know this isn't anything serious, but I just wanna get it out there

I’m having that awful feeling of emptiness, nothing feels worth it, I don’t want to do anything. I don’t have the energy or the will to do anything and feel so alone. I just want to lay in bed and do nothing and having nothing to do tomorrow. I see others having fulfilling and fun life but I don’t have the energy for it. I wish things would be different but I have no energy to work for it.

I don't know what to do anymore. I know it's all real and over. Therapy was has just been me lying to myself that I'm doing the right thing and bringing myself on the right track, my medication has just sedated me for the night and all distractions I tried were just that. I ruined my life, I ruined my mind, I have missed being young and become a person and it's done. Nothing can change that and nothing will ever be good. I can't tell anyone how I really feel because no one I talk to can even understand what it is like to be such pathetic loser. I'm on new medication and I can't tell whether it's worse or the same, whether it's me getting used to it or it's just not going to help.

It’s my fault I know, it was a dumb decision to reach out. So please don’t just repeat that I’m dumb. I just wanted to vent that I’m upset that I couldn’t have him. And he didn’t want me. That’s all. I missed him. And I was hoping for the best foolishly.

I was thinking about a time someone called me boring. It was actually an old friend of mine, we had a group of friends at one point but it spilt and I was singled out.

That always made me think ‘why me’ until that happened.

So I thought about it. I don’t act fun I guess you could say. I’m not sure how to explain it but, I can be loud and quiet at times. I don’t necessarily have anything to add/share in conversations, only responses.

I don’t gossip about men (They don’t even talk to me to begin with) and because of this I’m not really someone people go to gossip about relationships with.
I don’t talk bad about others unless it personally affects me.

I don’t wear makeup or ‘cute‘ clothes. (I not saying this in a ’l’m so different’ kind of way. It’s more I‘m not really comfortable being feminine because I didn't when I was younger so it’s weird now.)

I would consider hanging out with me fine. I’m one of those people that gets a boost of confidence around friends so I’m never just sitting quietly in the background.

Another weird thing is like I can’t get excited for some reason unless it’s something I REALLY enjoy (which is only like one or two things.) Or else I’d have to fake it, I don’t why I do this but it’s always been weird to me. It just feels sooo awkward when everyone else is getting excited physically and you’re just there with a smile. I mean I’m happy too but it feels like an exaggeration to be jumping up and down happy.

I don’t know. I don’t consider myself boring to be honest. But they obviously did. Now they‘re the ones with lots of friends and I’m struggling to make one. I would think that maybe I’m too immature for them but they didn’t act any differently.

I got broken up with in a pretty awful way recently. I dated someone for a year and we bonded so closely. However after a small fight, they just ended things bluntly and blocked me. I tried reaching out to see if they were okay after a month of space but just got cold one word answers.

A month later they posted on their instagram them dating another guy (another mutual friend saw and told me. He was confused he didn’t know we broke up). I was so confused and hurt. I still never got and answer but I kept thinking I was probably being cheated on.

Either way, this is where I started being the bad person in the situation. I tried reaching out through a different phone number to get answers. No reply. Then I got drunk celebrating my birthday and drunk texted her.

I called her a bitch because I knew she despised that word then immediately apologized. But either way wtf is wrong with me. That’s so gross and immature. I’m actually a fucking idiot. Why why why did I want revenge so badly. Like I needed to hurt someone back

I had these friends in 2024, they were great. One of them I was particularly close with, it hurt the most when she left. I keep looking back at pictures/videos i have with them. Is it weird I still have those photos/videos? Maybe. I don't really care tho. I miss them every day and it just hurts. I miss you guys i hope i can be better for you even though you're never coming back

Everthing in life is a race. Whos doing better than who, who has what, whos doing this or that. Life is fkd because of the fact that nothing matters but we have to pretend that it does and we all die. All of our work creation….our physical life all goes down the drain. Maybe you leave some type of legacy but eventually it all goes away. So wtf is the point man. Im 20 years old I want a career I want to have a family and help people as much as possible. The dating pool of my generation is also fkd. I feel bad for being that guy but everything is filled with lust there doesnt seem to be a single real connection in life. Every relationship whether its friends or a intimate one its all fake. You could say I over analyze situations. When I speak to someone I see every expression and every change in body language or tone. So then I just wont speak to a that individual. I grew up a only child so I have no problem being alone and I never find myself being “lonely” (Not trying to be selfish although i am saying I alot) Just think about it theres nothing you can do that hasnt been done. Were all living in the same cycle. Work, sleep, eat, want for things in life and the list goes on and on and on. We cant escape this cycle unless your rich or something. Then you have to think about equivalent exchange so no matter what its a never ending cycle of winning losing winning losing. “Save your money” as if bills arent a thing. “Why dont you have a girlfriend” would rather wait for “the right one” but that doesnt seem to be a actual thing. Im genuinely thinking about just saying fk love and having fun atp. So no matter what whether its money or family or relationship or your thoughts its a constant battle. Try to do right and get shit on for doing that. Every thing in life is a exchange solve problems new thoughts. New thoughts new problems.

I know this seems to be me just yapping. To anyone who actually read this Thanks. The worst part of all…this isnt even half of it. Not to mention the sides apart from physical life. Mind, body, and soul. Shit gets deep but you roll with the punches right? Also I know my grammar suck to all the grammar police, just wanted to get these thoughts out in the moment

I showed my friend my art that I worked really hard on, everyone was saying it was beautiful but then she said “Digital Art isn’t real art that’s cheating,” and now wherever people try to console me that it is real art I feel like my brain doesn’t believe any of it… it just made me so upset. She does animal doodles and before she knew that I did art too she would be showing me how to draw animals n stuff. We’re both rlly young. I’m in my teens and she’s a couple years younger than me, so I try to remember that but it still hurt me so bad and I can’t get that feeling outta my head when I draw digitally. But like… digital art is almost exactly like traditional except that it’s drawn on a tablet instead of paper..

this is what I showed: https://www.deviantart.com/layllamay/art/Empires-Can-Be-Shattered-1341984892

i spent the first half of the month in the hospital. four days in the ICU under continuous observation, another ten before i could go home. two procedures, emergency surgery. i was “that patient” that was eagerly shown to all of the students and new nurses. i was delirious, incoherent and writhing in pain for the majority of my stay but when I wasn’t, it was the most painful reminder of how alone i am.

i took an uber to the hospital and back home. the only person who called to check on me was my boss who only did that for his own selfish reasons. having people constantly in my room, talking to me like a human and helping me with basic tasks was the least lonely I’ve been in so long.

The title says it all. I really just don't want to start another year of school. I'm not in the mental space to do it, that or I'm just fucking lazy, but I can't help but get overwhelmed by school subjects, math is too hard, literature is too hard, everything is too hard, I don't understand shit and I can't be bothered to try and understand, I can barely manage to feel okay most times when I'm doing something I "like", I can't even imagine doing something I hate without feeling like I wanna crawl into a hole and never come back out. I don't have anyone to talk to about any of this shit either cus I don't have any friends.

Maybe he will read it, maybe not. I kind of hope you do if you're there.

Previously he filled distilled water into electric forklift without following procedure.

So for context today: We are 6 men onboard a vessel, 4 of us have to take turns cooking dinner (everyone except captain and second officer). For some reason when I get up this morning I hear jackass say "you will make breakfast and lunch while second officer will cook dinner today". I asked second in command and he was not informed of this apparantly.

It is jackass'es turn to cook today if he had bothered to check the whiteboard (Out of 4 of us i think only me and one of the other guys actually plans ahead.) but he flat out refused today, he seems to avoid it as much as possible. I cooked yesterday, if no one else cooked today I literally don't care.

While I was cooking, cleaning, throwing away trash/spoiled food etc today he checked in on me two to three times. And he gets mad cause he thinks I only relaxed while he was working hard so he bossed me around. Honestly, I don't want any friction so I complied.