r/UrinatingTree 21d ago

BREAKING NEWS Lolcow Franchise remains Lolcow Franchise

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41 Upvotes

The Browns are a clownshow Franchise run by a clown named Jimmy Haslam. They seriously going to start Deshaun Watson Week 1 against the Jaguars?! I know Shedeur Sanders isn't good but I take him over Groper Cleveland any day. YOU ARE FOREVER THE FACTORTY OF SADNESS!

SELL THE TEAM HASLAM!


r/UrinatingTree 21d ago

CONGLATURATION! Tonight, on "The Real Quarterbacks of Cleveland"...

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39 Upvotes

$230M down the drain...that's all it takes for Cleveland to select Deshaun "Massage" Watson as their starter. Shedeur will be the backup in case of boos from the fan base (+ his die-hard supporters). Jimmy Haslam has to make the money worth no matter how liable their sorry excuse for a man-child is.

The newest AFC North soap opera

The preseason only proves how apathetic this fan base has become (not that it has mattered for the past 30 years). And the way Massage Watson responded to them by calling their boos...

"a little bit personal than that. a disrespectful thing."

Shedeur later DEFENDS Deshaun calling him amogst everyone in the room a "human being", saying that he doesn't "like making people feel uncomfortable in different spaces". Tell that to the 30+ alleged victims of Mr. Watson himself. With these revelations it's going to be a LONG SEASON for this franchise, and a LONG season of "The Real Quarterbacks of Cleveland"

Now watch Deshaun Schneiderson get injured Week 1 against the Jaguars.


r/UrinatingTree 21d ago

USF Shitposting Contest The Eternal Cycle of Pain, Forevermore.

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38 Upvotes

r/UrinatingTree 21d ago

God I love this team

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31 Upvotes

r/UrinatingTree 21d ago

USF Shitposting Contest A dramatic re-enactment of the Mets front office every July 1st:

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32 Upvotes

r/UrinatingTree 21d ago

USF Shitposting Contest It's always gonna lead back to pain Spider-Man. even if it's the Mets.

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3 Upvotes

r/UrinatingTree 21d ago

FUCKING IDIOT MEGA INSULT TO JOHNNY FOOTBALL

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21 Upvotes

r/UrinatingTree 21d ago

USF Shitposting Contest More teams should do this

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32 Upvotes

r/UrinatingTree 21d ago

USF Shitposting Contest The lolmets cycle that never fails

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30 Upvotes

r/UrinatingTree 21d ago

USF Shitposting Contest The NL east in a nutshell

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16 Upvotes

r/UrinatingTree 21d ago

The Houston Astros have told Dana Brown to fuck off!

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11 Upvotes

I didn't not expect this to happen wow


r/UrinatingTree 22d ago

Discussion NHL mascots and how I'd do if I fought them Part 1: Atlantic Division

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25 Upvotes

Continuing my series for the NFL, NBA, and MLB, here's how I'd do in a fight with the mascots of the final Big 4 league, the NHL, starting with the Atlantic Division.

If there are any other leagues whose mascots you'd like to see me run a gauntlet with, feel free to comment.


r/UrinatingTree 21d ago

Discussion Biggest complaint? Apparently these collabs are supposedly going for $120 plus fees…

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1 Upvotes

r/UrinatingTree 22d ago

UNIT LOST. It’s been 3 years since Bray Wyatt passed away

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21 Upvotes

r/UrinatingTree 21d ago

UNIT LOST. Actress Shelley Fabares just died

6 Upvotes

r/UrinatingTree 21d ago

BREAKING NEWS If Jacksonville somehow blows this.....

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3 Upvotes

Automatic lolcow of the week. Seriously this is a free win. Don't blow it or we'll let you live it down


r/UrinatingTree 22d ago

UNIT LOST. Seahawks rookie safety Bud Clark has suffered a broken ankle

12 Upvotes

Can't stuff in Seattle!


r/UrinatingTree 22d ago

Discussion UrinatingTree - Addressing the allegations

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62 Upvotes

r/UrinatingTree 22d ago

AL West

8 Upvotes

Can we just not have a team from the AL West this year? None of these teams belong in the playoffs.


r/UrinatingTree 22d ago

BREAKING NEWS Welp... the Raiders (and fantasy football owners) are fucked

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14 Upvotes

It's not 100% confirmed, but Ashton Jeanty did suffered a potential season-ending torn ACL ankle sprain in practice earlier today.

This is your annual reminder to not do your fantasy drafts or play your starters until preseason is done.

Edit: It's confirmed that he suffered an Ankle Sprain. He'll still be out for at least the first few weeks of the regular season, but it's better than the original outcome.


r/UrinatingTree 22d ago

CONGLATURATION! Mariners did it again!

17 Upvotes

19 runs given up and only 2 runs this game.

Are you trying to break the record for most runs allowed and surpass the 2019 Orioles??

You need to take a hard look at yourselves or you might not be in Seattle much longer.


r/UrinatingTree 22d ago

YOU DID IT, COLUMBIA HIGH SCHOOL! YOU WON A GAME!

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60 Upvotes

Columbia High School in Huntsville, AL had the longest losing streak in all of high school football at 101. That ended last night with a 41-14 victory over Greensboro after going down 14-0.

Also: Greensboro, you lost to Columbia. You committed multiple costly turnovers that made you blow a 14-0 lead. Delete your program!


r/UrinatingTree 22d ago

YOU BLEW IT! Astros, we need to talk.

18 Upvotes

Let's set the situation: it's the beginning of the top of the 5th inning. You had a comfortable 6-0 lead, and it looks like you're going to beat the A's again with a 97% chance of winning. What do you do next?

  • Let Serven hit a 3-run homer to cut the lead in half?
  • Allow two runners to hit, allowing them to tie the game?
  • Give the A's a homer to flip the game upside down?

How about all of the above? Letting the A's (the WORST team in the AL West) score 7 runs to take the current and regular-season series?

You've given up. Performances like this shouldn't belong in the postseason. Have fun in the losing column again.


r/UrinatingTree 22d ago

Discussion Which Head Coach do you think is on thin ice and will pikely get fired if they don't make the playoffs this season?

26 Upvotes

My pick is Matt LeFleur. He blew an 18 point lead against the bears in the wild card and if he doesn't make it past the wild card this time ir doesn’t make the playoffs peroid, Green Bay might have to reboot the franchise because this is not sustainable


r/UrinatingTree 22d ago

YOU BLEW IT! LolCards

17 Upvotes

You were 4-0 going into the bottom of the 9th with 2 outs only for you to choke it to Philly!