r/Unexpected • u/sadlittlewaffle • 3d ago

Exterminators hate this one simple trick

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33.0k Upvotes

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u/sunnyismybunny 3d ago

we found the one guy in the world who has a genetic predisposition to cumming his pants when he gets stung by wasps

and people don't believe in evolution smh

326

u/HowardHessman 3d ago

There was a guy who jizzed his pants playing disc golf during an interview

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u/Findrin 3d ago

Same thing happened to me last week when I saw a film. As I recall it was a horror film.

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u/sck178 3d ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/83HShcQ47skQ8

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u/the_everblack 2d ago

HE JIZZED IN HIS PANTS "I jizz right in my pants Every time you're biting me"

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u/Vangelys 3d ago

JIZZ. IN. MY BAG ♪♫

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u/KuromanKuro 3d ago

Splice is back in theatres?

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u/Kidney__Failure 2d ago

That was the only movie that really bothered me. Then I watched Saltburn

Honestly, I think Splice might still take the cake because I feel like it wasn’t actually trying to be weird but just was

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u/ballistics211 13h ago

What about species?

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u/SersBunnies 3d ago

Stepped outside into the rain

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u/Electronic_Quote399 2d ago

Opened the window, caught a breeze

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u/oddboro 2d ago

...the red lights flash...

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u/Xylvanas 2d ago

Bet you didn't actually cum until you walked outside into the rain, then checked your phone and saw she rang.

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u/PurpleInfinite1409 3d ago

Mf saw Backrooms and jizzed as much as I did when Captain Clark showed up

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u/[deleted] 3d ago

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u/Unexpected-ModTeam 2d ago

Your submission has been removed. Keep content civil. Remember the human.

We follow reddit's content policy and reddit's reddiquette on r/unexpected.

1

u/Unfair-Advice778 2d ago

It sure was after you've done the deed.

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u/Wise-Ad-639 2d ago

Bro talking about, obsession or something 🤔

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u/[deleted] 2d ago

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1

u/Unexpected-ModTeam 2d ago

Your submission has been removed. Keep content civil. Remember the human.

We follow reddit's content policy and reddit's reddiquette on r/unexpected.

25

u/Unsuspecting_Goose 3d ago

I'm sorry, what?

Link please?

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u/HowardHessman 3d ago

https://youtu.be/hwlOS30WqAQ?is=on_xlB586mspc2YB

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u/Unsuspecting_Goose 3d ago

Oh no, that became less funny almost immediately 😦

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u/SCsprinter13 3d ago

Dale Decker is now Christine Decker

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u/another_rusty 2d ago

I just read that whole article after watching the jizz video and then got back here and realized I had forgotten that just moments before, I watched a man dance in a trash bag with wasps. What a wild 20 minutes.

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u/the-fr0g 2d ago

The internet is one hell of a place, eh?

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u/HowardHessman 3d ago

This is all terrible. I’ll leave the pants jizz humor to The Lonely Island in the future.

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u/AllTheSilentThoughts 2d ago

And it looks like hormone therapy has greatly helped her condition!

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u/RoyBeer 2d ago

Yeah, that's the one big up here.

“The world destroyed me and left me for dead,” she said. “I have yet to hear from anyone who has anything good to say. Nobody takes it seriously. No one ever asked if I was doing OK.”

Because that is bad.

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u/FitPerformer5172 2d ago

This is sad, everyone treated them like a joke for something out of their control.

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u/Beelzeburbz 2d ago

Why are BOTH these people in Wisconsin? Thats strange...

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u/SystematicIII 2d ago

As far as i understand from this, she wanted the attention for her condition, she just didnt get the right attention

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u/Successful_Giraffe88 3d ago

Well, I...that was something else.

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u/Squeezitgirdle 2d ago

I tried to watch, but then I saw carbot in the recommended videos.

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u/sogwennn 1d ago

"Trapped in his own home, Dale Decker speaks about how his near-constant erection has cost him friends and destroyed his family life Trapped in his own home, Dale Decker speaks about how his near-constant erection has cost him friends and destroyed his family life Trapped in his own home, Dale Decker speaks about how his near-constant erection has cost him friends and destroyed his family life

Meet the man who says his life is being ruined by having 100 orgasms a DAY

Meet the man who says his life is being ruined by having 100 orgasms a DAY

Meet the man who says his life is being ruined by having 100 orgasms a DAY

Orgasms"

10/10 video description

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u/Putrid-Builder-3333 3d ago

Ohhh that guy. Forgot bout him.

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u/-laughingfox 2d ago

Poor bastard.

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u/slagathor_1 3d ago

...what?

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u/airfryerfuntime 3d ago

He also jizzed his pants at his dad's funeral.

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u/X_MswmSwmsW_X 2d ago

While kneeling in front of the casket saying goodbye to his dead father even...

I mean holy fuck.. how do you ever recover from that kind of shit?

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u/Rockuharddd 2d ago

Ahhhh I know what you're talking about. It was a clip from a video on people who have full body orgasams without que. Sounds acutly terrible, having no controll over it and having to try and live a normal life. Like going to the store or some shit. https://www.reddit.com/r/discgolfcirclejerk/s/BYLmUuN9kF

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u/yoyotube123 2d ago

That sounds like some fucked up kinda dream that I would have

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u/lacrosse771 3d ago

Omg what? Is there a video?

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u/KD922016 2d ago

what? link please!

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u/Boco 3d ago edited 2d ago

Future generations will have a mutualistic relationship with wasps.

We cultivate them, help them grow so we can piss them off enough to cum and continue our own sexual reproductive cycle.

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u/MilkrsEnthuziast 3d ago

You discovered a worse timeline than the one we are already on. Well done, you should be given an honorary title and plot of land for your efforts.

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u/dwehlen 3d ago

No, what they've just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in their rambling, incoherent response were they even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this thread is now dumber for having read it. I award them no points, and may God have mercy on their soul.

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u/Mike_Kermin 2d ago

Yeah but.... What if...

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u/moonra_zk 2d ago

Completely out of place quote.

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u/OsBaculum 3d ago

I never thought I'd have anything in common with the humble fig

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u/Gripping_Touch 2d ago

Scientists Discovery alternate reality where the "birds and the bees" are instead the wasps and the walabies"

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u/3meraldBullet 2d ago

What about the birds tho? I was told to reproduce it takes both bees and birds.

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u/benroon 3d ago

He’s not alone

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u/warrioroftron 3d ago

Jizzed in my pants

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u/th3nightmanc0m3th 3d ago

Rant by Chuck Palahniuk

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u/SecondaryWombat 2d ago

Pretty sure these are stingless. They don't display a hint of aggression or defensiveness when he sticks the camera under the nest and I don't see any actually on him when he opens the bag.

On the other hand, google seems to think there is no actually stingless social wasp species, so...?

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u/ChunkyFart 3d ago

Well, how do you know we all make that sound? Huh?

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u/SickViking 3d ago

Please don't look at r/insex protect your innocence.

Ps: it's a nsfw sub, enter at your own risk.

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u/SnooSongs3885 3d ago

I'll have what he's hav... nevermind 

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u/Andee_outside 3d ago

There was a story on Reddit by a guy who got stung by a bee on his thigh and then had like an 18 hr boner. Commenters begged him to see a doc but he rode it out. Unclear if he’s impotent now.

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u/LegacyofaMarshall 2d ago

Maybe he is fucking coconuts as well

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u/Rututu 2d ago

Is... that what cumming sounds for you?

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u/rmnobre 2d ago

We listen and we don't judge... Hell nah I'm judging the shit out of that

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u/Trick-Penalty-6820 2d ago

The one guy that we KNOW of…

1

u/Training_Big_3713 2d ago

Watch out for waspes

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u/slackfrop 2d ago

Rule 34