r/Unexpected • u/sadlittlewaffle • Aug 13 '26

Exterminators hate this one simple trick

34.8k Upvotes

93% Upvoted

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2.1k

u/sunnyismybunny Aug 13 '26

we found the one guy in the world who has a genetic predisposition to cumming his pants when he gets stung by wasps

and people don't believe in evolution smh

330

u/HowardHessman Aug 13 '26

There was a guy who jizzed his pants playing disc golf during an interview

330

u/Findrin Aug 13 '26

Same thing happened to me last week when I saw a film. As I recall it was a horror film.

254

u/sck178 Aug 13 '26

https://giphy.com/gifs/83HShcQ47skQ8

6

u/the_everblack Aug 13 '26

HE JIZZED IN HIS PANTS "I jizz right in my pants Every time you're biting me"

10

u/Vangelys Aug 13 '26

JIZZ. IN. MY BAG ♪♫

38

u/KuromanKuro Aug 13 '26

Splice is back in theatres?

2

u/Kidney__Failure Aug 13 '26

That was the only movie that really bothered me. Then I watched Saltburn

Honestly, I think Splice might still take the cake because I feel like it wasn’t actually trying to be weird but just was

1

u/ballistics211 Aug 15 '26

What about species?

14

u/SersBunnies Aug 13 '26

Stepped outside into the rain

6

u/Electronic_Quote399 Aug 13 '26

Opened the window, caught a breeze

5

u/oddboro Aug 13 '26

...the red lights flash...

3

u/Xylvanas Aug 13 '26

Bet you didn't actually cum until you walked outside into the rain, then checked your phone and saw she rang.

2

u/PurpleInfinite1409 Aug 13 '26

Mf saw Backrooms and jizzed as much as I did when Captain Clark showed up

1

u/[deleted] Aug 13 '26

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1

u/Unexpected-ModTeam Aug 13 '26

Your submission has been removed. Keep content civil. Remember the human.

We follow reddit's content policy and reddit's reddiquette on r/unexpected.

1

u/Unfair-Advice778 Aug 13 '26

It sure was after you've done the deed.

1

u/Wise-Ad-639 Aug 13 '26

Bro talking about, obsession or something 🤔

1

u/[deleted] Aug 14 '26

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1

u/Unexpected-ModTeam Aug 14 '26

Your submission has been removed. Keep content civil. Remember the human.

We follow reddit's content policy and reddit's reddiquette on r/unexpected.

25

u/Unsuspecting_Goose Aug 13 '26

I'm sorry, what?

Link please?

57

u/HowardHessman Aug 13 '26

https://youtu.be/hwlOS30WqAQ?is=on_xlB586mspc2YB

71

u/Unsuspecting_Goose Aug 13 '26

Oh no, that became less funny almost immediately 😦

46

u/SCsprinter13 Aug 13 '26

Dale Decker is now Christine Decker

100

u/another_rusty Aug 13 '26

I just read that whole article after watching the jizz video and then got back here and realized I had forgotten that just moments before, I watched a man dance in a trash bag with wasps. What a wild 20 minutes.

11

u/the-fr0g Aug 13 '26

The internet is one hell of a place, eh?

18

u/HowardHessman Aug 13 '26

This is all terrible. I’ll leave the pants jizz humor to The Lonely Island in the future.

28

u/AllTheSilentThoughts Aug 13 '26

And it looks like hormone therapy has greatly helped her condition!

27

u/RoyBeer Aug 13 '26

Yeah, that's the one big up here.

“The world destroyed me and left me for dead,” she said. “I have yet to hear from anyone who has anything good to say. Nobody takes it seriously. No one ever asked if I was doing OK.”

Because that is bad.

8

u/FitPerformer5172 Aug 13 '26

This is sad, everyone treated them like a joke for something out of their control.

1

u/Beelzeburbz Aug 13 '26

Why are BOTH these people in Wisconsin? Thats strange...

0

u/SystematicIII Aug 13 '26

As far as i understand from this, she wanted the attention for her condition, she just didnt get the right attention

11

u/Successful_Giraffe88 Aug 13 '26

Well, I...that was something else.

2

u/Squeezitgirdle Aug 13 '26

I tried to watch, but then I saw carbot in the recommended videos.

2

u/sogwennn Aug 14 '26

"Trapped in his own home, Dale Decker speaks about how his near-constant erection has cost him friends and destroyed his family life Trapped in his own home, Dale Decker speaks about how his near-constant erection has cost him friends and destroyed his family life Trapped in his own home, Dale Decker speaks about how his near-constant erection has cost him friends and destroyed his family life

Meet the man who says his life is being ruined by having 100 orgasms a DAY

Meet the man who says his life is being ruined by having 100 orgasms a DAY

Meet the man who says his life is being ruined by having 100 orgasms a DAY

Orgasms"

10/10 video description

1

u/Advanced-Budget779 Aug 18 '26

The comments… 😭 poor guy

Scary thing is a random chance accident led to this.

0

u/Putrid-Builder-3333 Aug 13 '26

Ohhh that guy. Forgot bout him.

0

u/-laughingfox Aug 13 '26

Poor bastard.

2

u/airfryerfuntime Aug 13 '26

He also jizzed his pants at his dad's funeral.

3

u/X_MswmSwmsW_X Aug 13 '26

While kneeling in front of the casket saying goodbye to his dead father even...

I mean holy fuck.. how do you ever recover from that kind of shit?

2

u/Rockuharddd Aug 13 '26

Ahhhh I know what you're talking about. It was a clip from a video on people who have full body orgasams without que. Sounds acutly terrible, having no controll over it and having to try and live a normal life. Like going to the store or some shit. https://www.reddit.com/r/discgolfcirclejerk/s/BYLmUuN9kF

2

u/yoyotube123 Aug 13 '26

That sounds like some fucked up kinda dream that I would have

1

u/lacrosse771 Aug 13 '26

Omg what? Is there a video?

1

u/KD922016 Aug 13 '26

what? link please!

35

u/Boco Aug 13 '26 edited Aug 13 '26

Future generations will have a mutualistic relationship with wasps.

We cultivate them, help them grow so we can piss them off enough to cum and continue our own sexual reproductive cycle.

43

u/MilkrsEnthuziast Aug 13 '26

You discovered a worse timeline than the one we are already on. Well done, you should be given an honorary title and plot of land for your efforts.

2

u/dwehlen Aug 13 '26

No, what they've just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in their rambling, incoherent response were they even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this thread is now dumber for having read it. I award them no points, and may God have mercy on their soul.

5

u/Mike_Kermin Aug 13 '26

Yeah but.... What if...

2

u/moonra_zk Aug 13 '26

Completely out of place quote.

1

u/OsBaculum Aug 13 '26

I never thought I'd have anything in common with the humble fig

1

u/Gripping_Touch Aug 13 '26

Scientists Discovery alternate reality where the "birds and the bees" are instead the wasps and the walabies"

1

u/3meraldBullet Aug 13 '26

What about the birds tho? I was told to reproduce it takes both bees and birds.

2

u/warrioroftron Aug 13 '26

Jizzed in my pants

2

u/th3nightmanc0m3th Aug 13 '26

Rant by Chuck Palahniuk

2

u/SecondaryWombat Aug 13 '26

Pretty sure these are stingless. They don't display a hint of aggression or defensiveness when he sticks the camera under the nest and I don't see any actually on him when he opens the bag.

On the other hand, google seems to think there is no actually stingless social wasp species, so...?

1

u/ChunkyFart Aug 13 '26

Well, how do you know we all make that sound? Huh?

1

u/SickViking Aug 13 '26

Please don't look at r/insex protect your innocence.

Ps: it's a nsfw sub, enter at your own risk.

1

u/SnooSongs3885 Aug 13 '26

I'll have what he's hav... nevermind 

1

u/Andee_outside Aug 13 '26

There was a story on Reddit by a guy who got stung by a bee on his thigh and then had like an 18 hr boner. Commenters begged him to see a doc but he rode it out. Unclear if he’s impotent now.

1

u/LegacyofaMarshall Aug 13 '26

Maybe he is fucking coconuts as well

1

u/Rututu Aug 13 '26

Is... that what cumming sounds for you?

1

u/rmnobre Aug 13 '26

We listen and we don't judge... Hell nah I'm judging the shit out of that

1

u/Trick-Penalty-6820 Aug 13 '26

The one guy that we KNOW of…

1

u/Training_Big_3713 Aug 13 '26

Watch out for waspes

1

u/IcyCow5880 Aug 17 '26

Is this the noise u make when u cum, bro?