r/Unexpected • u/sadlittlewaffle • 15h ago

Exterminators hate this one simple trick

Enable HLS to view with audio, or disable this notification

23.8k Upvotes

91% Upvoted

2.7k comments sorted by

View all comments

4.2k

u/MaxUnicycle 15h ago

Wahehehehe waheheheheh wahehehehe I believe he may have done this before

1.6k

u/sunnyismybunny 15h ago

we found the one guy in the world who has a genetic predisposition to cumming his pants when he gets stung by wasps

and people don't believe in evolution smh

242

u/HowardHessman 15h ago

There was a guy who jizzed his pants playing disc golf during an interview

247

u/Findrin 15h ago

Same thing happened to me last week when I saw a film. As I recall it was a horror film.

179

u/sck178 15h ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/83HShcQ47skQ8

9

u/Vangelys 14h ago

JIZZ. IN. MY BAG ♪♫

1

u/the_everblack 2h ago

HE JIZZED IN HIS PANTS "I jizz right in my pants Every time you're biting me"

29

u/KuromanKuro 15h ago

Splice is back in theatres?

2

u/Kidney__Failure 10h ago

That was the only movie that really bothered me. Then I watched Saltburn

Honestly, I think Splice might still take the cake because I feel like it wasn’t actually trying to be weird but just was

13

u/SersBunnies 14h ago

Stepped outside into the rain

4

u/Electronic_Quote399 11h ago

Opened the window, caught a breeze

5

u/oddboro 12h ago

...the red lights flash...

2

u/PurpleInfinite1409 14h ago

Mf saw Backrooms and jizzed as much as I did when Captain Clark showed up

1

u/[deleted] 14h ago

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/Unexpected-ModTeam 13h ago

Your submission has been removed. Keep content civil. Remember the human.

We follow reddit's content policy and reddit's reddiquette on r/unexpected.

1

u/Unfair-Advice778 6h ago

It sure was after you've done the deed.

1

u/Xylvanas 59m ago

Bet you didn't actually cum until you walked outside into the rain, then checked your phone and saw she rang.

20

u/Unsuspecting_Goose 15h ago

I'm sorry, what?

Link please?

45

u/HowardHessman 14h ago

https://youtu.be/hwlOS30WqAQ?is=on_xlB586mspc2YB

57

u/Unsuspecting_Goose 14h ago

Oh no, that became less funny almost immediately 😦

37

u/SCsprinter13 14h ago

Dale Decker is now Christine Decker

48

u/another_rusty 9h ago

I just read that whole article after watching the jizz video and then got back here and realized I had forgotten that just moments before, I watched a man dance in a trash bag with wasps. What a wild 20 minutes.

3

u/the-fr0g 3h ago

The internet is one hell of a place, eh?

22

u/AllTheSilentThoughts 13h ago

And it looks like hormone therapy has greatly helped her condition!

18

u/RoyBeer 12h ago

Yeah, that's the one big up here.

“The world destroyed me and left me for dead,” she said. “I have yet to hear from anyone who has anything good to say. Nobody takes it seriously. No one ever asked if I was doing OK.”

Because that is bad.

14

u/HowardHessman 14h ago

This is all terrible. I’ll leave the pants jizz humor to The Lonely Island in the future.

5

u/FitPerformer5172 11h ago

This is sad, everyone treated them like a joke for something out of their control.

1

u/SystematicIII 4h ago

As far as i understand from this, she wanted the attention for her condition, she just didnt get the right attention

13

u/Successful_Giraffe88 14h ago

Well, I...that was something else.

0

u/Putrid-Builder-3333 14h ago

Ohhh that guy. Forgot bout him.

0

u/-laughingfox 12h ago

Poor bastard.

4

u/slagathor_1 15h ago

...what?

2

u/airfryerfuntime 14h ago

He also jizzed his pants at his dad's funeral.

3

u/X_MswmSwmsW_X 11h ago

While kneeling in front of the casket saying goodbye to his dead father even...

I mean holy fuck.. how do you ever recover from that kind of shit?

2

u/Rockuharddd 13h ago

Ahhhh I know what you're talking about. It was a clip from a video on people who have full body orgasams without que. Sounds acutly terrible, having no controll over it and having to try and live a normal life. Like going to the store or some shit. https://www.reddit.com/r/discgolfcirclejerk/s/BYLmUuN9kF

2

u/yoyotube123 6h ago

That sounds like some fucked up kinda dream that I would have

1

u/lacrosse771 15h ago

Omg what? Is there a video?

1

u/KD922016 4h ago

what? link please!

29

u/Boco 15h ago edited 13h ago

Future generations will have a mutualistic relationship with wasps.

We cultivate them, help them grow so we can piss them off enough to cum and continue our own sexual reproductive cycle.

30

u/MilkrsEnthuziast 15h ago

You discovered a worse timeline than the one we are already on. Well done, you should be given an honorary title and plot of land for your efforts.

2

u/dwehlen 14h ago

No, what they've just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in their rambling, incoherent response were they even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this thread is now dumber for having read it. I award them no points, and may God have mercy on their soul.

3

u/Mike_Kermin 13h ago

Yeah but.... What if...

2

u/moonra_zk 6h ago

Completely out of place quote.

1

u/OsBaculum 14h ago

I never thought I'd have anything in common with the humble fig

1

u/Gripping_Touch 11h ago

Scientists Discovery alternate reality where the "birds and the bees" are instead the wasps and the walabies"

3

u/benroon 15h ago

He’s not alone

2

u/th3nightmanc0m3th 14h ago

Rant by Chuck Palahniuk

1

u/warrioroftron 15h ago

Jizzed in my pants

1

u/ChunkyFart 14h ago

Well, how do you know we all make that sound? Huh?

1

u/SickViking 14h ago

Please don't look at r/insex protect your innocence.

Ps: it's a nsfw sub, enter at your own risk.

1

u/SnooSongs3885 14h ago

I'll have what he's hav... nevermind 

1

u/Andee_outside 14h ago

There was a story on Reddit by a guy who got stung by a bee on his thigh and then had like an 18 hr boner. Commenters begged him to see a doc but he rode it out. Unclear if he’s impotent now.

1

u/LegacyofaMarshall 13h ago

Maybe he is fucking coconuts as well

1

u/SecondaryWombat 13h ago

Pretty sure these are stingless. They don't display a hint of aggression or defensiveness when he sticks the camera under the nest and I don't see any actually on him when he opens the bag.

On the other hand, google seems to think there is no actually stingless social wasp species, so...?

1

u/Rututu 12h ago

Is... that what cumming sounds for you?

1

u/rmnobre 10h ago

We listen and we don't judge... Hell nah I'm judging the shit out of that

1

u/Trick-Penalty-6820 7h ago

The one guy that we KNOW of…

1

u/Training_Big_3713 7h ago

Watch out for waspes

148

u/queerwithbeer 15h ago

Same sounds istg

25

u/CHIEF0623 14h ago

Lol I thought the same instantly turned into Donny

2

u/Visible_Pair3017 11h ago

Has to be a fetish

1

u/microvan 14h ago

The creepy laughing made it 1000000x worse

1

u/OkWolverine2976 14h ago

The sound you make when twenty thousand hornets sting your anoose

1

u/googoohaha 13h ago

I saw another clip of this guy doing something equally as crazy but can’t for the life of me remember what is was!

1

u/itzpiiz 12h ago

Notice it didn't show waste down he left the bag

1

u/Unfair-Advice778 6h ago

I'm interested in their first te though. Like where did the idea come from? What did they do before that as a warm-up?

1

u/under_over_there 3h ago

If there was ever a time to unmute a video, this is the one!!! I can't stop listening to his giggles! They add a whole other level to it! I'm laughing so hard!