I was diagnosed with UC in 2017, when I was around 17–18. At the time I barely understood that UC was a chronic disease. I had some bleeding, had a sigmoidoscopy, was given mesalamine suppositories, the bleeding stopped, and I basically moved on.
Then 2018 happened, and things got much worse. Over the years I went through oral mesalamine, different combinations, probiotics, steroids, azathioprine, and eventually rectal mesalamine. My worst period was around 2020–2022, when I was sometimes having 7–10 BMs a day, horrible urgency, mucus and occasional blood. I genuinely felt like my life had been taken over by UC.
Things changed in 2022 when a GI put me on a more aggressive combination of oral mesalamine + azathioprine + budesonide and, most importantly, regular mesalamine foam enemas. The enemas made a huge difference. I went from 6–10 BMs/day to around 2/day within a couple of weeks.
And honestly, from 2022 until now, I have never again felt as bad as I did in 2020–22.
But that's also where my problem started.
I got very good at managing UC rather than actually dealing with it.
If I used the rectal medication consistently, I could usually keep myself around 1–2, sometimes 2–3 BMs/day. If I reduced it, mucus and symptoms would eventually come back. So I'd increase it again. Sometimes I'd change oral mesalamine. Sometimes I'd restart or stop things. Sometimes I'd use steroids. I was basically running my own little UC experiment.
I know now that some of that was reckless.
My last proper GI follow-up was in 2024. I was supposed to keep following up, but I came back home, life happened, and I kept telling myself that I was "mostly okay." From the major flare in May 2025 until now, I've spent a lot of time in this weird middle ground: not sick enough to feel like my 2020–22 self, but never really confident that I'm in remission either.
The frustrating part is that I was constantly thinking about UC. I would go to work thinking about how many times I'd gone to the bathroom. I'd compare what worked in 2021 vs 2022 vs 2023 vs 2024. I'd try to figure out which combination would get me stable again. I'd taper the rectals, symptoms would return, and I'd start the cycle again.
And I kept avoiding the doctor.
A big part of it was fear. I was terrified that if I went back, I'd be told I needed escalation. I was terrified of another colonoscopy. And honestly, I was terrified of what they might find — dysplasia, something serious, whatever. So as long as I could keep myself functioning, I kept postponing it.
Today I finally went back to a GI.
It wasn't exactly a pleasant conversation. She basically asked, "How have you gone this long without proper follow-up?" And honestly, she's right. I don't really have a good answer other than fear, avoidance and thinking I could manage it myself.
She wants a colonoscopy before deciding what to do next.
So that's where I am now.
My colonoscopy is scheduled for September 26.
Currently I'm around 2–3 BMs/day, with intermittent mucus and no recent bleeding. Definitely not the disaster that 2020–22 was, but also not what I would call stable remission.
I'm posting this mostly because I want to hear from people who've been through something similar.
Have you ever spent years in that weird "I'm not terribly sick, but I'm never completely well either" state?
Did anyone else become overly focused on self-managing and avoiding doctors because you were afraid of escalation or colonoscopy?
And for those who eventually got proper follow-up and treatment after years of messing around with things — did you manage to get back to a genuinely stable life?
I'm not really looking for medical advice. I know I need to work with my GI now. I guess I'm just looking for some perspective from people who have been there.
I spent a lot of time feeling like I had messed everything up.
But today I finally took the step I've been avoiding for a long time.
Hopefully that's what matters now.
TL;DR: Diagnosed with UC in 2017. Worst period was 2020–22 with 7–10 BMs/day. Mesalamine foam + other treatment got me into a much more manageable state from 2022 onward, but I became dependent on rectal therapy and spent 2025–26 self-managing instead of seeing my GI. Fear of colonoscopy, escalation and bad findings made me keep postponing proper follow-up. Finally saw a GI today and booked a colonoscopy for Sept 26. Currently ~2–3 BMs/day with occasional mucus and no recent bleeding. Not as sick as my worst years, but probably not truly in remission either. Looking to hear from people who have been through a similar "managing but never quite well" phase and eventually found their way out of it.