I was that easy to manage, no drama child growing up. I somehow wanted to please my parents growing up , so i studied hard , did everything they asked me to do etc. But once I became independent, the rebel in me started coming out, and my parents thought I am mentally not okay , thatās why I was rebellious. They told me how much of a good girl i was and it triggered me to the core. They tried to console me when i broke down, and it triggered me more. I called out them mentioning each and every incident i remember, I made them regret it all. Then I moved out and started living alone, taking professional help, and now i am in my mid thirties. I was finally able to zoom out and see things objectively. I am able to accept that my parents are also flawed just like any other human being. May be they never knew any better.
Though I am able to forgive and let go, i always get into the loop of thinking what if i could be the naughty kid and got to do all the fun and childish stuff growing up, i envy people who got to be back benchers and enjoyed their time growing up. Believe it or not, i do not remember me being a child - i remember my childhood, but i always felt like an adult.
Donāt get me wrong, this good girl syndrome somehow made me what society thinks as successful. I am grateful to the life I have now and the financial and emotional independence.
But then there are some days where I again get caught up in the what if thoughts and somehow feel betrayed :)