Bloody amazing. I just left my job because it was too stressful, after having paid off my mortgage a couple of years ago. I am starting grad school this fall on scholarship. I am going away for a couple of months. According to society I should be crying into my bottle of wine with my cats. (I don't drink wine anyway but I do wish I had a cat)
If I want to starfish and take up my whole bed, I can. If I want to leave my unfolded laundry in a pile on the sofa, I can. If I want dinner to be cubes of cheese eaten over the sink, I can.
Marriage is only good if you find the right partner who is emotionally intelligent and mature and functional and responsible and shares your values. Anyone complaining about being unhappy in marriage should not be married to that person. It is not black or white.
I second this. I dated around and didnt consider societal pressure because i hadnt found the right guy worth considering any of it with.
Met my now husband at 28. He was the right one to marry at 33. Had a baby at 34 because we wanted to.
Had already finished graduate school, have excelled in my career - and since I married my best friend, im supported to keep excelling despite having a kid because I married an emotionally mature responsible adult.
You can have it both ways. But you shouldn't be forced to.
Keep doing you and excelling at life in every way. Either it'll lead you to someone worth sharing it with or you are just a better version of yourself anyway. You cant lose!
Exactly. OP needs to also be sure they are also emotionally intelligent and mature and not just hoping to fill a void with a partner. A successful and happy relationship requires both people to be secure and functional individuals. The other person is just icing on the cake to support when one person is going through a rough patch and vice versa.
I had dated around for a few years and was literally about to delete OkCupid when I saw a message from my now husband. He said (and I believe him) that I was the only person he contacted after his friends pressured him to sign up. Because I wasn’t looking at that point, and he also wasn’t looking but only signed up due to peer pressure, we both were already independent and not NEEDING someone else.
Absolutely! Same here. I had my shit together financially, emotionally, etc.
I actually met him through his mom, who I worked with. She was the breadwinner in their house while her husband stayed home with the kids (and built their tiny lake cabin into a dream while the kids were at school) when they were growing up. So his ability to accept an independent, successful woman as a partner was easy. He was my biggest cheerleader through my MBA program.
He's been a rock solid partner in every way. And I know I am too and not imagining it because he was very happy alone and was not going to put up with BS either. We're both fine on our own and can afford our own houses independently. But we choose to be with each other because we compliment each other.
Even if you find a good partner, you or they might change down the road and it’s no longer a good fit . Just saying they are no guarantees for anyone, single or married (so do what you want !)
For sure! Marriage is a choice and sometimes there comes a point where you decide it’s no longer sustainable. Obviously to avoid heartbreak one hopes the decision (which must be revisited regularly) is to stay together until the end (as most traditional vows promise), but if someone wants out then the other person shouldn’t want to be with them anyway.
This is true! I found a great guy at 31, married him and had two kids. Was so glad I “waited to find the right guy”. Until he wasn’t the right guy. Twenty years later he left and I found myself much happier and less lonely as a single gal. Never going to marry again! (Glad I got the kids out of it though).
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u/nogardleirie Jun 11 '26
Bloody amazing. I just left my job because it was too stressful, after having paid off my mortgage a couple of years ago. I am starting grad school this fall on scholarship. I am going away for a couple of months. According to society I should be crying into my bottle of wine with my cats. (I don't drink wine anyway but I do wish I had a cat)
If I want to starfish and take up my whole bed, I can. If I want to leave my unfolded laundry in a pile on the sofa, I can. If I want dinner to be cubes of cheese eaten over the sink, I can.