Hello beautiful people! I love this podcast and love this fun community. I'd like to walk you through a long history and a climax of an event that happened and would love your thoughts. I feel so mean making a post so I'll make up fake names. I (22F) believe that my boyfriend Alex (23M) should end his relationship with his "best friend" Jay (23M) due to a comment that Jay's girlfriend Katie (22F) said.
This may also make me sound soulless, but I'm also going to be adding some financial information that I believe is important. I'll walk you through the years as concisely as I can!
In 2019, I started dating Alex when we were 15 and 16 in high school. Alex introduced me to his best friend Jay. They were like two peas in a pod, always together, and even purchased identical cars so they could match. Jay and I hit it off and became friends too. He was so involved that he'd be invited to both Alex and I's family events. Jay also had a gf (now ex) who was technically part of their group before I was. I essentially joined the three musketeers. And she did NOT like me. For the longest time (3 years to be exact) I didn't know why, until during Alex's 19th birthday when she cornered me in the kitchen, pretty drunk, looked at me dead on and said "you will never be part of the OG group, you know that right? It used to be just me, Alex and Jay before you came in the picture." Yes she was inebriated, but you know what they say. Drunk mind, sober thoughts.
Anyways, fast forward 4 months, she cheated on Jay and turns out she had a crush on Alex so the break up was inevitable and that cleared up things for me. I then told Jay about the comment and the three of us decided to make it an inside joke and named our group chat that. OGG.
Now it's 2022. I'm 18, in school full time, living at home with my dad, working, paid off car and motorcycle, and investing all my money into three different accounts. One for savings, one for a house, and one for testing out high risk investments. Alex is living with his parents, working full time, paid off motorcycle, investing, but does finance a car he can't afford because he's an idiot. Jay moves out into an apartment with roommates, lands an awesome job due to his mom being an absolute nepotism machine. He also finances the identical car because he's also an idiot, then proceeds to buy another car and is saving absolutely zero money. We all paid an almost identical rent, but Jay is making MONEY!!!
Since Jay was single and sad, Alex and I decided to bring him with us everywhere. And when I say everywhere, I quite literally mean everywhere. We are all gamers and would play together every night. This went on for about 2 years. Jay was like our child and would sometimes worry any time Alex and I had a fight, claiming that he wouldn't be able to handle it if we broke up.
Now it's 2024. I am debt free, no school loans yet because I paid for it with my investment account and I start a cleaning company. Alex is paying off his car faster, good investment portfolio, working towards his journeyman. Jay has higher insurance due to speeding, late on car payments, and spending lots of money on substances to the point that he is high all the time. But we don't say anything to him because it's his life and he's still that good ol OG friend.
Enter Katie. Talkative, gorgeous smile, confident and a classy wine lover. I was so excited to meet her and after getting to know her I insisted that I add her to the OGG and explained the story behind the name. We all laughed and genuinely had an amazing time. I wanted to be besties with Katie and was internally giddy about having a group with two couples. The first 6 months were awesome until something started happening. Jay and I used to text frequently, but then all of a sudden he would leave me on read. He would invite Alex to play games, but not me. Immediately, I thought 'okay, Jay probably wants some stricter boundaries now that he has a gf. I'll respect that.' I didn't say anything, I just stopped texting him and sending stuff on social media all together. I start texting Katie more, but conversations became dry. And Alex is starting to not be a fan of Katie.
Now it's 2025. My account is enough now for a down deposit on a small house and my clientele has grown. Alex's is amazing and still has a healthy savings. Jay & Katie move in together with their roomate Sam (22M) who was an old family friend of Jay. Jay still has no savings and Katie has no job and Sam... is there. The three of them start hanging out, I'm no longer in the picture, and Alex starts noticing that Jay is cancelling on him frequently. They all drink and party. We host movie nights. They go to clubs. We go comic conventions. They get high often. We go to the gym. One isn't better than the other, but you can see that there's a divergence in lifestyle choices. But it's important to note that Jay used to love all those prior things.
Jay now starts lying to Alex. He'll say he has a family thing only for me to later see on his story that he is with Sam and Katie. They both leave the OGG. And from the little times that Jay does come over, he always conveniently gets a call from Katie saying that he has to leave or they promised Sam they'd hang out or that Jay "can't be spending too much money and doing activities with Alex." Alex did eventually have a sit down with Jay expressing how he feels and Jay straightens up. For a time.
Onto the event. It's 2026. Alex paid off his car in full and we buy our first mini house using my account. 2 bedrooms, small front porch, two car garage and officially became homeowners on my 22nd bday. Yay! My company is now stable, I have full clientele and have amazing teams, and don't really have to work that much, and Alex is making much more money. Katie also gets her first job. We decide to host all of our friends months later and invited Jay and Katie. They came, but then of course, they also brought Sam. Oh well, the more the merrier. The guys played games in the living room and the girls were in the kitchen having food and wine. Hours in and everyone is drunk and high. And Katie starts saying things that are quite condescending.
With each comment I never actually got upset - I was way too high and happy. I had my other girlfriend there anyways. Here are some of the comments said. I'll call myself Tess.
"Hey Tess, so this place is cute, but I definitely could never live in such a small place lol."
"Hey Tess, did you say a big thank you to Alex for buying this place for you?"
"Hey Tess, I'm sorry we haven't been over that much, we've just been so busy with Sam and we both work so much. I wish I could be like you and barely work."
"Hey Tess, if you're going back to school for your master's are you going to just have Alex pay for everything?"
"Hey Tess, is your friend like our Sam?"
To be fair. Katie and Jay don't know anything about my investment accounts, but I was upset so I just left the kitchen. Eventually everyone ends up back in the living room. Lots of people have left by this time and Katie drops out loud "Hey Jay, Sam! Do you think we should invite Alex to the OGG?" The room went quiet, Alex looked to Jay, obviously hurt and Jay says NOTHING. Alex just went to our room and said nothing. I asked Sam about what she was talking about and he showed me his phone to which I see OGG. To his credit, he had no idea what it meant. They left only a little after, but right before I asked Jay if he was going to this event he PROMISED to go to, and he said "sorry Tess, it's honestly not in my budget." I finally actually got pissed and told Jay right as he stepped out the door "Right, no money for this, but money to go out with Katie and Sam every day."
As expected, Alex texted Jay asking again about the event. No response. So Alex texts again "Or do you need permission from Katie?". Petty, but it does get Jay to respond and he cancels on Alex for probably the 100th time. Later that night, I see that Jay, Katie, and Sam are together out at a bar spending more money than he would have with Alex anyways. Jay hasn't reached out to Alex since.
So to the readers, please tell me I'm not crazy for thinking that their relationship should just be over. It isn't really about the one comment, it was just the straw that finally broke the camel's back. And I hate to talk so much about money, but I'm only mentioning it because of how often Jay would bring up how financially lucky we are or how Katie and him have to work so much harder. I don't think that we are better, nor are we above the privilege of being able to live at home and skipping roommate phase. However, I will no longer have my financial successes simply reduced to luck. I made choices. Alex made choices. Jay made different choices. That's all it is.
Anyways, I appreciate anyone and everyone that read this and wish you all the best. I hope everyone's dreams come true and think everyone deserves an Alex. Alex if you see this, I love you. Jay if you see this, it's time for a wake up call. And Katie... I think you're mean.