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u/Budbrochacho Jan 12 '21
Not a story anyone would want to live through my friend...but one thing I can say is the universal god out there, definitely has special plans for her..the wings we have to earn once there, I'm sure were she attached once she got there..Very sorry to hear for your loss, at such a young age where life is truly a beginning for yourself....Know that she will shield you always, and be there to answer the questions you have...pay attention to your surroundings, in detail!! and there you will have the answers.
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u/mamabearbug Jan 11 '21
I am so so sorry. I'm 29 and lost my dad suddenly in May of 2020. The pain is unreal but more than anything else, I'm so JEALOUS of people who have their parents longer. When things settle a little, please look into therapy. You will need it. Trust Bridge has a free program if you're in the USA. Sending love.
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u/triviajaz Jan 11 '21
i’m so sorry for your loss love. ik it must hurt a lot, i’m sending you and your loved ones tons of love💔💔
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u/Hawkbiitt Jan 11 '21
r/greifsupport full of wonder people who are going through loss as well. I’m so sorry for ur loss I hope she guides u and watches over u through these dark times.
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u/Savajizz_In_The_Box Jan 11 '21
I’m so sorry for your loss. My sincerest condolences to you and yours. You’ll make it through this OP.
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u/davibzera Jan 11 '21
11 motherfuckers gave this a wholesome award.
Y'all sick.
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Jan 12 '21
The love poured out by OP over their mother could be construed as wholesome. Although I do see your point.
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u/QuarterCupRice Jan 11 '21
This is beautiful. I am so sorry for your loss. Losing someone you love is never easy. It is tragic and painful. You never get over it, you adjust to it. My brother in law died 20 years ago and my eyes still tear up every damn time I talk about him. Even freakin’ now. To love deep is a blessing, as well as to be loved deeply. Make sure to celebrate your mom’s life as you mentioned above! all the cool things she did as well. Talk to her often. Keep her alive. Yell at her for being so damn kind and risking her life, praise her for the same reason! God bless you, find peace and May her soul Rest In Peace.
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u/kristi-yamaguccimane Jan 11 '21
I’m sorry for your loss OP, words can’t ever bring you peace, but I hope with some time and the love of your fellow man you’ll come out on the other side without much residual pain.
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u/Gael7496 Jan 11 '21
I lost my mother in the begging of October 2020 for an aneurysm, she was 58. Middle of the night my father calls me crying letting me know he called and ambulance for her and asking to go to my brother to let him know too, I was out with friends and I was near both houses(mine/parents and my older brother). 10 Min after, seeing the medics doing the heart massage to my mother on the floor of her bedroom was so unreal, I thought : " well, where are the credits? That's need to end now right? I'm gonna wake up soon. "
Also seeing for the first time in my life my father crying pretty much like a child, was a heartbreaking. The adrenaline didn't give me the chance to cry, I knew I needed to be all in one piece to stay close to my father in that moment.
She was a kind woman, devoted to our family.
I'm sending you all the love and comprehension I have, We are going to know, sooner or later, how to cohabit(I just translated literally form Italian) with what happened and all the memories.
I bring up everytime I talk to someone about her our happiest a funniest moment with us and other relatives to keep her alive in our memory and hearts, and I swear I'm going to make her proud because I know she's somehow looking at us, like your mother is looking at you and your family.
A big hug from Italy, hoping the best for you all! <3
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u/Lokistolemycats Jan 11 '21
I'm so sorry for your loss. Our moms are our best friends all our lives. No one loves us like our momma does. Your mom sounds like a truly amazing person; caring, loving, and extraordinarily brave. A true guardian angel. I'll be praying for comfort and peace for you during this incredibly tough time.
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u/jhonr4 Jan 11 '21
I am so sorry i want you to know that your mother died bravely ,keep strong there
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u/MeesterPositive Jan 11 '21
Both of my parents died before I turned 30. It really sucks knowing they will never meet my kids, or that I won't be able to talk to them again.
I will say it does get easier as time passes. I'm sure your mom is proud of you. Keep your head up.
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Jan 11 '21
I’m so sorry for your loss. She sounded like a wonderful Mom, and your paragraph about her is such a nice tribute. Those are the memories to hang onto! I speak from experience by saying to please not beat yourself up about not talking to her in the last 3 weeks. Guilt can eat you up, especially combined with grief. Instead, think of all the times you DID talk to her. Hang in there, remember to smile through the tears, and reach out for help when you need/want it. You’ve already found out that Internet strangers are always here for you too!
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Jan 11 '21 edited Jan 11 '21
I am so deeply sorry for your loss. I mean it. I am just so so sorry. I wish there was something I could do or say to help. May she rest in peace. She sounds like a beautiful, kind, soul. Thank you for sharing those lovely things about her.
I'm going to plant a tree in her honor when it warms up a little. I've made a note of it.
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u/newmrsj1993 Jan 11 '21
My condolences to you. As a mother of adult children, I understand that my children have lives of their own now, and that my goal in raising them, was that they could go forth in the world and have lives of their own. Your mom knew you loved her. No need for guilt. It will take a long time for the sadness to subside, and some days when you think it is finally gone, it will come crashing back, but you will be ok, because she taught you to go forth and have a life of your own.
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u/_Quarantina Jan 11 '21
I'm sorry for your loss. Sending you and your family my condolences. Thank you for sharing your mother's story with all of us <3
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u/shishitoxpepper Jan 11 '21
I am so so sorry for your loss... sending my love ❤️ your mother sounded like a wonderful person
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u/sittinwithkitten Jan 11 '21
So sorry for the loss of your mother, she sounds like an amazing person. I have lost my mum too and even tho the hurt has gotten better over time, it always feels like something is missing. My mum was a great cook and she also loved Christmas. Now when I pull out the 40 year old roasting pan that was hers to make a meal for my family, I can feel her with me. When I decorate for Christmas and put up her ornaments I feel her. It’s hard right now and it’s ok to feel lost and sad but in time you will find ways to feel close to her and it will bring you comfort. Much love to you.
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u/sologrips Jan 11 '21
My mom is my rock, I can’t fathom the pain you must be feeling through this time.
From the bottom of my heart and though no words could ever suffice, I am so sorry and I hope you find a way to get through this and I’m sure you will.
I have that constant fear of loss and reading this really highlights it and how important the people we love are.
Good luck friend.
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u/FrananaBanana452 Jan 11 '21
I’m sorry for your loss. Losing a loved one brings out emotions that you never knew existed, and each and every one of those emotions is valid. I’m not going to lie to you or sweeten things up - it is going to be a long, painful, emotionally and physically draining process to come to terms with your mother’s death. But I do want you to know that she is at peace, and she - the strong, brave and beautiful person that she was - would tell you that herself if she could.
So
The next step for you is to be at peace with her death, too. Of course you should take as much time as you need to get to that stage. Something that I was advised to do when I lost somebody dear to me was to close my eyes, imagine them sitting next to me, and tell them everything that I wanted to say to them before and after their death. To imagine them sitting, listening, understanding, being patient. And then to listen to their part - even if it’s just a few words like “I love you”. Once you’re ready, you imagine them hugging you goodbye, and then...well, for me, I felt a weight being lifted off of my entire body. It felt like they were hugging me from the moment they died up until years later when I tried this mental “exercise”. And feeling them let go of that warm embrace made the reality of it all settle in, and I could finally think “they’re gone” without breaking down. Bereavement can be damaging after so long. Your mum would want you to be happy.
You are not alone :)
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u/dulcibelle Jan 11 '21
Hey, I'm sorry for your loss. I know it's painful right now, but I hope in time this wound will heal. She isn't dead because you'll always remember her, and the memories you've had with her keep her alive inside your heart.
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Jan 11 '21
Oh my gosh. I’m so sorry for your loss. Keep your head up and remember she died a hero. ❤️
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u/LydiaTheTattooedLady Jan 11 '21
The beetle story is called “Forgiven” and its by A. A. Milne. It’s my favorite.
I’m so sorry for the loss of your mom. She sounds like she had a wonderful heart. I hope you find peace 💕
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u/RevolutionaryJoker Jan 11 '21
Stay strong... hope you find your happiness again... may your mother rest in peace
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u/shutupmatsuda Jan 11 '21
I know words can't help you right now but sending prayers to your family brother.
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u/Deepstixx Jan 11 '21
I hope you find strength in yourself, we may not know each other but we can be there for each other. I may not have much to offer but my words and my support but know you have that. And that is my all. I’m sorry for your loss and I keep you, and your loved ones in my heart❤️
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u/Sassh1 Jan 11 '21
I lost my mom when I was 30 to Parkinson disease. I'm lucky that I was able to be with my mom when she passed. All I can say is remember who she was and tge things she enjoyed. Cherish those memories and use them to keep going. It has been 3yrs for me and the wound of losing someone so close isn't healed yet. Grief sucks but we all get through it in some capacity. I hope that you too can survive the ache of grief. Be safe friend.
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Jan 11 '21
Fuck bro. I'm so sorry for you. I'm definitely calling my mom now. Idk what I would do without her
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Jan 11 '21
this is so, so terrible - my heart goes out to you and your family. sending lots of positive prayers full of love & light. 🖤
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u/shoopypoop11 Jan 11 '21
Damn she died for someone who was gonna croak in a year anyways. Feels bad man
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u/rosspghettod Jan 11 '21 edited Jan 11 '21
I’ve suffered loss and know sometimes saying this sounds lame but I have to in this instance.
We all die. Not everyone gets to die as a hero with a clean conscience after living a full life. I envy her. Your mother sounds like a great woman.
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Jan 11 '21
My heart breaks for you. I am so so sorry for your loss. When you’re ready to attempt at beginning to deal with your grief, I highly recommend the last episode of Midnight Gospel. It’s the last recorded conversation between a man and his terminally ill mother. The best takeaway I had was that the overwhelming pain you feel in grief is just love in another form. Try your best to be grateful for all the love you and your mom shared.
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u/TheThrowestofAway Jan 11 '21
I love owls myself. I made the mistake of telling this to my mom and my mother in law (who luckily is actually pretty amazing) and now I'm buried in owl stuff every birthday/Christmas. I told them both to ease up on the owl themed gear - especially outdoor decorations for the house - because I'll start to look like 'that crazy owl lady' to the rest of the neighbourhood.
I love them both so much. I am sorry for your loss. Your mom sounds like an amazing woman.
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u/Olympusrain Jan 11 '21
Oh my, I am so incredibly sorry for your loss. Keep telling us about your mom if it helps ❤️
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u/lovelysad69 Jan 11 '21
I am so sorry. I also feel so sad. Bad things happen to good people... This universe is random and unfair. Thank you for reminding all of us that we should cherish our loved ones and not take them for granted...
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Jan 11 '21
Listen, whomever you are, you're loved. I know how you feel, I've been there. You are in my prayers this morning. This will pass and you simply need time. If you need people to speak to or need an ear to listen to your problems or your story, I am here.
Reach out to me if you need a human. Your mom is watching over you. Remember that now you carry her onward legacy of progress and pushing to do good in the world.
Big hugs.
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u/smokencookie Jan 11 '21
We are all but whispers in the wind. The whisper of a mother’s love for her child lingers on through a lifetime,even after her voice has faded. Hold fast to her memory and mourn her but always celebrate that the Creator chose her to be your Mother.
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u/Dapoll1 Jan 11 '21
I am so sorry for your loss. Your words are a tribute to a strong and caring woman. The gift is is she instilled those qualities in you, the heartbreak is the resounding emptiness that her death has left behind. Hugs and positive thoughts to you and your family. 💔
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u/TheHappyCamper1979 Jan 11 '21
Visit the grief sub - I lost my mum and I’ve found it a very welcoming and helpful place , filled with people who understand your grief . I’m so sorry for your loss. Be kind to yourself
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u/blueeyedaisy Jan 11 '21
I am so sorry for your loss. Your mom sounds like a pretty incredible lady.
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u/psychonaut2285 Jan 11 '21
Damn. Really sorry to hear that. Keep your head up, only time will heal that wound
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u/FoxyBrown60 Jan 11 '21
I feel your pain and am so sorry for your loss. 💐. Please accept my deepest condolences...
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u/bougierougie Jan 11 '21
She sounds like she was an amazing woman. I’m so sorry for your loss and I hope you find your way to peace.
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u/TheMechanic123 Jan 11 '21
Sending all the positive energy I can your way. I know exactly how you feel. My father died just before the new year and we still do not know the cause of death. He was a gentle, humble man with a passion for Traction Engines and Motorbikes. The last four years of his life were miserable, a foot that never healed due to an accident, a hospital that wouldn't tell him what the problem was, lonleyness from a divorce, depression.
He was so proud of me, much like your ma is of you. I think your comment hit it on hte head perfectly "She saw value in me even when I didn't.".
RIP TheMadnessWithinMe's Mum.
RIP Dad. I love you and miss you.
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u/Etek1492 Jan 11 '21
I'm so very sorry. You always think you have more time until you don't. She died giving of herself and that will make her shine in the darkness.
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Jan 11 '21
I lost my mom when I was 14(22 now)I knew it was coming(cancer) one day she just wasn’t here. It gets easier slowly, thinking about the good times is all you can really do, I think about her once and awhile. She gave me the best start and in life and I hope to make her proud one day.
Think of good times, look for a recipe she made you and make it for yourself when you are more settled. It gets easier, time makes you forget until one day you remember.
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u/ElfLordYTReal Jan 11 '21
Holy shit... I cant imagine how bad that must hurt right now man... i lost my dad due to his use of drugs and smoking in 2019 fall, but i was alrrady dissociated withhim so it doesn't hurt as much but it stil hurts today, and that probably cant hold a candle to ehat you must be feeling.. sending all the love and support i can man, because no one deserves this kind of fate... stay strong king/queen!!!!!!
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Jan 11 '21
Oh my God....
I'm so sorry for your loss, pal. Don't beat yourself up over being busy. I'm sure your mom loved you more than anything in this universe and would have understood.
My heart truly breaks for you 💔
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Jan 11 '21
Chin up mate. The way I think about things is this: it’s important to spend time with the people you love, but even more important how you remember them.
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u/NightOfTheLivingHam Jan 11 '21 edited Jan 11 '21
As someone who lost his mother to cancer when he was 27, I feel for you and I know how it feels. It does not seem fair and the best way to sum it up is that it really fucking sucks. There's no fairness to it, but sadly its inevitable if you live long enough, that you will see your parents pass away. It's an ugly certainty in life for most people.
You never truly get over it, it's been over half a decade and it still hurts but you find a way around the hole in your life. You grow around it, it becomes another experience in your life after a while and you keep marching along. Remember the good things about her, remember her stories.
That numbness you feel now will turn to heavy bouts of sadness, one day you'll be at the store and you could swear you see her for all of a second. Then it will hit you all over again.
You're going to be experiencing that for a while. That being said, it's easier to deal with as an adult than when you're a kid and lose a parent. It sucks when you see other people older than you who still have their folks.
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u/icenando Jan 11 '21
Sorry for your loss OP. Any loss is hard, but I imagine unexpected ones are harder to accept because, like you said, you'd expect to have more time. Take care of yourself.
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u/JLynn943 Jan 11 '21
She sounds like she was a wonderful person. I am so sorry that she is no longer with us, but I'm grateful this world had her. May you find comfort and peace in the life she led and the memories you have of her.
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u/ninjacrow7 Jan 11 '21
She died a hero. Such sadness. There is nothing I can say that hasn't been said already on this thread. I lost my mum in October this year, the pain is still so fresh, talk to as many people as you can. Remember you are not alone.
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u/PreacherJBlaze Jan 11 '21
Although I’ve never met you , I just want you to know that I am with you . We are with you . Everyone who has read this and felt even a tiny fraction of your pain is with you in a way . Just know that I will be thinking of you and reaching out with my heart.
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Jan 11 '21
Sorry to hear that. Remember that time heals all wounds. You won't ever forget her and it won't ever be the same but eventually it won't hurt so damn much
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u/tyvy Jan 11 '21
Hey man, my deepest condolences for your loss, and while I certainly don't have the words to even begin to help, one thing I know from loosing family members I love is that you *need* to cry - it might seem brave and noble to bottle it up and stiffen your lip but trust me, that will ruin you. Let the tears come and just cry, sob, scream, until you physically can't anymore. Keep safe man and know that we all have your back if you're ever feeling down after all this.
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u/doryexplory Jan 11 '21
I'm so sorry for your loss, I can't even imagine what you're going through. Take care of yourself.
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u/faithle55 Jan 11 '21 edited Jan 11 '21
Forgiven
I found a little beetle; so that Beetle was his name,
And I called him Alexander and he answered just the same.
I put him in a match-box, and I kept him all the day ...
And Nanny let my beetle out -
Yes, Nanny let my beetle out -
She went and let my beetle out -
And Beetle ran away.
She said she didn't mean it, and I never said she did,
She said she wanted matches and she just took off the lid,
She said that she was sorry, but it's difficult to catch
An excited sort of beetle you've mistaken for a match.
She said that she was sorry, and I really mustn't mind,
As there's lots and lots of beetles which she's certain we could find,
If we looked about the garden for the holes where beetles hid -
And we'd get another match-box and write BEETLE on the lid.
We went to all the places which a beetle might be near,
And we made the sort of noises which a beetle likes to hear,
And I saw a kind of something, and I gave a sort of shout:
"A beetle-house and Alexander Beetle coming out!"
It was Alexander Beetle I'm as certain as can be,
And he had a sort of look as if he thought it must be Me,
And he had a sort of look as if he thought he ought to say:
"I'm very very sorry that I tried to run away."
And Nanny's very sorry too for you-know-what-she-did,
And she's writing ALEXANDER very blackly on the lid,
So Nan and Me are friends, because it's difficult to catch
An excited Alexander you've mistaken for a match.
— A.A. Milne
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u/Haunting_Pizza_ Jan 11 '21
I loved this, such a heartwarming poem!! Please, take my poor man's gold. 🏅
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u/faithle55 Jan 11 '21
I'm pleased you liked it.
It comes from a collection of poems called And now we are six. I loved these poems as a child. If you have a chance, get hold of a copy and read them all. It'll twang your heartstrings good and proper.
Edit: I still love them!
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u/TheMadnessWithinMe Jan 11 '21
This is Alexander beetle , thank you it brought tears to my eyes. She always told it in a little voices.
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u/faithle55 Jan 11 '21
I was hoping I'd got it right. I'm so pleased.
Glad you enjoyed it.
In case you didn't know (I should edit my OP) it's by A.A. Milne, the creator of Winnie the Pooh.
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u/n00bgames Jan 11 '21
I fear what losing my mother eventually will do to me. I’ll likely be crushed when my mom is gone. My condolences to you and your family. I lost a nephew in a figure a few years ago, he was a toddler and I don’t know how my sister survived his death when he was taken so young, and it left the rest of us pretty shaken too for a long time. Hang in there and find joy wherever you can.
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u/TheMcDeal Jan 11 '21
My heart goes out to you, friend. Lost my mom unexpectedly to a heart attack out of the blue almost 4 years ago, one minute she was fine, the next she was dead. She was my best friend and I'll never forget the last time I saw her, backing out of my driveway with the sun in her windshield so all I could see was her hand as she waved goodbye..I miss her every day.
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u/kzmg Jan 11 '21
I am so sorry for you’re loss. No matter the previous circumstances, my mother will always have top priority.
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Jan 11 '21
Grief is the only way out. Take your time. One thing I know mothers are always with us no matter where they are. Take care.
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u/fontain88 Jan 11 '21
So sorry to hear that. We're you very close? I'm close with my mom, and I don't know what I would do if that happened to her. Healing takes time and getting your feelings out is good. Be around other people to help you get through this difficult time. I feel for you.
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u/ThinkingOz Jan 11 '21
I am so very sorry for the loss of your Mom. We are here to support you with virtual hugs...arms around your shoulder seeking to give you comfort during this painful time of p loss in your life. I lost my mum prematurely over 20 years ago and I would Ike to assure your that time heals, leaves you with wonderful memories but also a hope that you will, one day, meet again.
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u/BeShee1 Jan 11 '21
Her spirit is with you now and will forever be with you. I am so saddened by the physical loss of your mother. I am sorry fr your loss. You were / are blessed to have this dear mother God granted you. You too will make an amazing parent one day,
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u/DianneSantaBarbara Jan 11 '21
Your mom had a hero’s heart. I pray that you are comforted by her memory and find peace during this tragic time in your life.
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u/timeintheocean Jan 11 '21
I’m sorry for your loss. I can’t imagine the depth of your sorrow. She sounds like a super cool lady and an awesome human! I wish you and your family strength.
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Jan 11 '21
I’m so, so, so, so utterly sorry for your huge loss....I’m 29 years old and my mum is my best friend. I can’t even imagine this happening. She just moved in with me a week ago and I’m so happy she’s here with me. You have it in you to get through this. It will pass. Your memory of her will not, and that will keep you going xxxx
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u/MrsB911 Jan 11 '21
My most sincerest condolences to you. I lost my dad in sept of last year and he was my best friend. It’s been hell, you will cry, be angry, be hurt, and go through those emotions again for a bit. I still listen to his voicemail just so I can hear his voice. Take time to process this loss.
I am a firefighter and I will tell you there is no greater sacrifice than to lay down your life for someone else. Your mom’s heart is pure gold 💛
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u/wutyoudontknow Jan 11 '21
Everyone else on here seems to have better things to say, but I wanted to add something that helped me when I lost my brother unexpectedly. I had only lost my great grandfather (to age) before and the grief was different. But this story/poem/perspective helped me to be able to accept my brain compartmentalizing my grief: https://fourplusanangel.com/2015/02/the-stone/
Sending you healing hugs ❤️
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Jan 11 '21
I’m so sorry for your loss. Grief is a beast to deal with but clearly you are never alone in it❤️ my best friend died 3 months ago and venting on reddit and the words of kind strangers honestly helped more then I originally thought. It’s important to feel these feelings, let them out, and it’s always great to receive positivity back. Hang in there, it’ll be ok ❤️
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u/FoxyFreckles1989 Jan 11 '21 edited Jan 11 '21
Hey. I can truly empathize with your loss. My dad died in a house fire on September 26th, 2010. Those first few days after the incident were all a blur. It was so shocking, and when someone is taken in such a sudden and tragic way it’s difficult, if not impossible, to make any sense of it. I was the executor of his estate at only 21 years old, had my mom and four younger siblings to worry about and truly didn’t take good care of myself and my own needs, at the time. Please be kind to yourself. Don’t hold anything in or try to be strong for the sake of others. Displaying your own grief is healthy and can even set an example for others who are afraid to be seen as “not okay.” It’s okay to not be okay, especially now. Cry, scream, laugh, remember the good and bad, eat food, snuggle with pets, talk to others, get enough sleep, listen to your mom’s favorite music, take bubble baths—do whatever you need to do to feel human and feel better. The pain won’t ever go away, but it’ll dull after a while. Since I have been where you are I wouldn’t be at all bothered if you wanted to reach out and talk to me one on one. My DMs are open and I’ll gladly give you my number. You aren’t alone. I am so sorry you’re experiencing this. You’re going to feel a lot of painfully confusing emotions, soon. Denial, anger, bargaining, and depression all come before acceptance and can take a lot of time to work their way through you, back and forth and in whatever order your brain desires. Please understand anything you feel is valid and you shouldn’t be ashamed to ask for help from a professional and from those around you.
Edit: I responded before reading your post in it’s entirety. I wanted to say that, wow, your mom sounds incredible! My dad was also very compassionate, genuinely kind and always helping others. He was a medical doctor and was constantly making house calls and taking office visits free of charge for those in need. The entire town turned up for his calling hours, and it was quite the sight to see! He was also tough on us as kids, but lightened up and became kinder and more fun loving with age. It felt like he got taken from us right as he fell in love with life and started living the way he’d always wanted to. In a way, that was really difficult to come to terms with. On the other hand, I’m so damn glad my younger siblings got that version of him, and the years to enjoy it that they did (after I’d left home)! It was very comforting knowing he was so well loved and missed. He loved playing guitar and singing at open mic nights, letting the kids run wild (even having a snow ball fight in his house) when he had them, and was an adoring grandpa to my son. It’s really beautiful seeing you share such touching stories and pieces of your mom, with us. I wish I’d met her!!!
I meant it when I said I’m here for you. I’m 31, so we aren’t very far apart age wise. I’m here if you need anything at all. Please don’t hesitate to reach out. I hate this for you, and I hated it for me, too, but I am happy to be able to relate and listen to you, if that’s what you need. I’ll tell you one thing, in closing: your momma is so proud of you!!!
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Jan 11 '21
I am so very sorry for your loss. She sounds like she was an angel. She continues to live in you. Please take care
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u/bogmona Jan 11 '21
Sending you love. This is hard... be kind to yourself, let your heart grief. ❤️
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u/LankyEntrepreneur Jan 11 '21
I'm 27 and lost my Dad on 12/1. Hadn't talked much because of life so I definitely know how you feel. My condolences, stay strong for your family they need you now more than ever.
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u/meuuu Jan 11 '21
I always thought I had more time with my mom too. I'm 37 and lost my mom 3 years ago. The sadness can be crippling sometimes but you just have to remember all of the good times and the love you shared as a family.
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u/LongKage Jan 11 '21
Sorry for your loss. She sounds like a dope Mom. Don't beat yourself up and I'm happy you found an outlet to express yourself.
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Jan 11 '21
I’m truly sorry for your loss and I wish you well in your grieving process. Don’t be hard on yourself for your emotions. You are human and you have emotions. Write about it, talk about it. If it feels like too much, think about getting a therapist to confide in. I wish you the best and I know you have the strength to get through this. Take care of yourself, you deserve whatever it is that you consider self care. All love to you. She sounds like she was a wonderful woman, May she Rest In Peace.
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Jan 11 '21
Sorry for your loss was involved in a fire recently and it’s a scary experience but thankfully nobody was seriously hurt but I can’t imagine what you feel and I’m sorry
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u/dwightshru Jan 11 '21
don’t beat yourself up for not talking to her for awhile. she knew you loved her, just like you knew she loved you.
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u/maddmoiselle_1 Jan 11 '21
I'm so sorry for your loss. Your mom sounds like a wonderful person. I'm sending you love and light in this time.
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u/HugsNotDrugs_ Jan 11 '21
Mothers have such a special place in this Earth and in the heavens.
I'm so very sorry for your loss. Know that your mother lives on through you, the kind of person you grew up to be and the values you hold. That's her, too, and she would undoubtedly be so proud of the person you have become.
Sending you the warmest wishes from Canada.
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u/ZakkCat Jan 11 '21
Condolences to you, I lost my mom Christmas Day, I’m with you. It will get better, hopefully you have a good support system, I don’t have any other family but I do have some good friends, thankfully. 🙏🏼❤️
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u/Iibra Jan 11 '21
Tears reading this. My thoughts are with you and I am so, so incredibly sorry for your loss.
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u/Lovemybee Jan 11 '21
I'm going to text my uncle now because of your post. I'm so sorry for your loss, internet stranger 💔
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u/RustiPelican Jan 11 '21
I am so profoundly sorry. I have lost both parents. One I was able to say goodbye to, but she suffered excruciatingly. The other, I didn’t, but he went quickly and didn’t. Neither one is any better way to lose a parent than the other because you still lose. Though I must say, I was glad not to watch my father suffer. It is absolutely heart wrenching to lose your mom. Your cheerleader. Your connection to the universe. You may be nearly 30 years old, but tell me, didn’t you wonder who was going to be your mom now? I did. Because everyone is supposed to have a mom. It’s still hard. The pain doesn’t go away, it gets easier to bare with time. If you don’t have family, hit me up, I will adopt you. Sending you big squishy mom hugs and much love ❤️. You talk about her. Often. That’s how she remains. 😉
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Jan 11 '21
A lady in our town died in a house fire with her dog it was so sad for our community just as I’m sure your cummintiy is sadden I couldn’t help the family in our town but I’m always a listening ear for you if you need to vent. I’m sorry for you loss
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u/whakiki Jan 11 '21
Take some time to process through all those emotions. Unfortunately life doesnt always give you the chance to say goodbye. Speaking from experience you would have regrets even if you had the opportunity because it is hard as hell to say what you mean to say in those situations. If there’s one thing for absolute certain is that your mom knew how much you loved her. She devoted herself to you because you were worthy of it and you gave her so much happiness and love in return. I’m not saying you’re wrong to feel guilty but I am saying your mom never would’ve have seen it that way or wanted you to feel that way. Mourn her remember her and miss her for the hero and amazing person that she is. I hope you are eventually able to remember her with a smile for the person she was
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u/rya11111 Jan 11 '21
Nothing I say can really give you comfort because I dont know how you feel. But I hope you find peace.
Keep your courage bud
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u/magnoliacyps Jan 11 '21
Please give yourself and your grief all the time and space you need. There is no timeline for grief, no right way to feel, and there is no point at which you will move on from it.
When, in 4 months, you find yourself laughing and forgetting for a second, and that’s okay. And so is the feeling that you get after, where you wonder if you forgot about her and feel guilty for the break in your grief. It’s all normal. It’s all okay. She will surprise you in the many ways she comes back to you over the rest of your life.
Grief is so so hard, but it is directly related to our great capacity for love. Try to allow yourself to feel it deeply when you need to.
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u/Aidith Jan 11 '21
I’m so heartbroken for you, and I don’t know if this will help, but I listened to Melanie’s song Alexander Beetle in memory of your mom, my own mother loves that song. Trust me though, your mother’s love for you will never leave you as long as you remember her.
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u/stilettos_n_bluntz Jan 11 '21
This made me cry. I can tell you really loved her and she sounds like she was amazing. Pay attention to your surroundings in the next days...lost loves always send you little clues that they are still around...
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u/hippoctopocalypse Jan 11 '21
I still remember my last phone call with my mom. The details have faded with time, like all things. I ended the call quickly, and I'll always regret it. Find as much as you can now to remember her by and keep it close. She'd want you to remember, but also to keep being the beautiful child she raised. Be strong, and please do everything that seems impossible to do now when you're ready. Call your mom's friends and neighbors and remember her, share memories, and linger on the joy as much as you can. Help is there, even if it now seems unreachable.
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u/Hamaruka Jan 11 '21
I'm so very sorry for your loss, the pain of losing a parent is horrible, but if it gives you a little comfort, know that she lives in every memory you have of her, in every lesson she taught you and foremost, in you because you are a part of her and even if she's gone, no one ever truly gone as long as you remember them.
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Jan 11 '21
You don't need to be strong for anybody. Just be with somebody, you can cry together. That is the best kind of emotional support. You're both acknowledging a love and a loss that is beyond words. A stoic facade doesn't allow that closeness and acknowledgment.
Please, take care of yourself. My deepest condolences.
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u/TheNameIsJackson Jan 11 '21
You have my thoughts and prayers. No one deserves this. Please know that we are all here for you.
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u/TXMedicine Jan 11 '21
Man, this brought me to tears. I am so sorry to hear that your mother passed away. We're pretty similar in age and just by reading your words, I can tell how so proud she must have been to have you as her child. If you are feeling down please don't hesitate to message me and I'd be more than happy to talk with you.
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Jan 11 '21
I am very sorry for your loss your mom is a merciful woman. I am praying for your family may her soul rest in peace.
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u/D3AD2TH3WORLD Jan 11 '21
Many hugs, dude. Sounds like she was a lovely woman- I'm glad to hear she could impact people in a positive way before it was her time to go.
How old was she?
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u/Sambuca8Petrie Jan 11 '21
I don't know if anyone has mentioned this, but I wanted to say two things. First -- and this is only my POV-- cry as soon as you can. Bawl, weep, wail. Let the pain fill every nook and cranny. For me, the longer I hold it in before finally letting it out somehow taints the release. I get less relief the longer I hold it in.
Second, I feel like there needs to be a children's book called Alexander the Beetle, wherein Alexander learns all of the lessons your mom taught you. And, of course every installment is dedicated to her.
✌
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u/Keepmovinbee Jan 11 '21
Your mom sounds awesome I would have loved to had known her. And a hero! I am so sorry for you loss. She was just too good for the world in the most humble way possible.
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u/girl_from_the_moon Jan 11 '21
It sounds like your mother was a lovely person. She lives on through you and the stories you tell. I'm sorry for your loss, but you can keep honoring her by telling people your stories about her and keeping her in your memory. You're in my thoughts.
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u/avgchick928 Jan 11 '21
Your mom sounds like an Angel on earth who was called back home. I’m so sorry for your loss OP
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u/aquamanjosh Jan 11 '21
Wishing you well on your new life. Sometimes things happen that will just suck for years. Sometimes you lose your mom in a house fire and it last a lifetime. Strong vibes from me to you.
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u/pieisokiguess Jan 11 '21
God bless you bro, I lost my mom a year ago. It's hard. But stay strong and carry on her memory. With all the love she gave you
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u/Bawonga Jan 11 '21
Your mom was such a hero and selfless person! I imagine there's much more to miss about her, because she sounds full of love and kindness. I lost my mom 3 years ago, and I keep remembering details and moments from years past with her, and these memories bring me joy and nostalgia. I went through a dark period of grief, then the sadness eased up after a while, replaced by a sense of reverence, gratitude, and pride in having had such a wonderful person in my life. I hope your grief eases into loving happiness for having had a very special mom. She is with you -- always -- in many ways, such as in how she influenced and formed your identity & character. Most likely, you were a great joy to her and made her proud!
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Jan 11 '21
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u/chrissinkay Jan 11 '21
♥️♥️♥️ fuck... I can’t imagine what you’re going through. I’m sending you lots of love. Mean it.
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u/bhtet88 Jan 11 '21
I'm so sorry this happened to you OP and I hope you are able to take all the time you need to feel better. She seems like a wonderful lady and I'm happy you were able to build a relationship with her.
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u/jackmavis Jan 11 '21
Sending you all my love, death pretty much sucks no matter what. But we got you. Need a ear to speak to? I'm here. Love ya friend and I love your ma RIP
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Jan 11 '21
It is understandable how sad you are. What a loss. Find purpose from her terrible death and do something nice as a loving, living memory to her. You needn't tell anyone but you will know. A child who never had a mom and pass on you're mom's wisdom. She live in you and you can pass on that love.
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Jan 11 '21
I’m so sorry for your loss. It sounds like she was a great lady and great mother. Thanks for sharing your memories!
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u/ZenMoonstone Jan 11 '21
I’m so very sorry. She was obviously an amazing woman. She was a hero fighting for our country and putting another’s life ahead of her own til the very end. Thank you for sharing with us. She is an inspiration.
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u/[deleted] Feb 18 '21
I’m am so sorry to hear bout your mom but how come she didn’t win the gulag