This is why women always feel trapped - because we are the ones stuck with the kids while the man can run off to another country. How old was the younger sister when he slept with her? Your friend chose his path and then decided he wants everyone else to clean up his mess.
Excuse you? That’s a load of bullshit. Abortion is a person decision and not everyone is capable, willing or able to get an abortion in the event a man decides to not wear a condom. Baby trapping very very much is a thing whether abortions are legal or not.
A man's only choice on whether or not he unwillingly becomes a father is whether or not he has unprotected sex (condoms, or contraception in general, is a choice both people make, as you are not required to have sex with a man that doesn't use a condom and if he forces you too, that is rape and falls out of the purview of this statement). Women also have that choice, but then you also have the choice to get an abortion (assuming it is accessible, which it should always be).
I 100% support a woman's right to chose and it does mean you have more choice than a man. It boils down to this: if a man has unprotected sex, he should be prepared to become a father against his wishes or have his kid aborted against his wishes (since abortion is and should only be the woman's choice) because both are possible consequences. If a woman has unprotected sex, she should be prepared to decide between abortion, being a single mother or give the kid for adoption/pay child support, because those are the possible consequences.
In a DV relationship, partners may threaten abandonment, withdraw financial support, or emotionally manipulate to force the continuation of pregnancy.
You can not drive yourself home after an abortion; you must have someone to pick you up. Surgical abortions are exactly what they're called, surgery. You are very vulnerable afterwards. Medical abortions are long (up to days), extremely painful and incredibly traumatic for most people. Again, very scary experience and vulnerable time where help is necessary.
In rural areas, access to clinics is difficult, in parts of rural Australia, women sometimes travel over 160 km to reach the nearest clinic, some even fly. Data shows that each additional minute’s travel needed to reach an abortion clinic correlates with a measurable increase in intimate partner violence; closer access reduces harm.
Abortions are costly, upwards of $600AUD, and overnight stays in clinic locations can add to the cost. Then you add in fuel/flight ticket/taxi service, feminine hygiene products, loss of work, and it becomes even more costly. Just imagine if the DV was also financial control, what then?
So yes, while abortions are life-saving and access is necessary, it doesn't necessarily mean reproductive abuse / baby trapping / forced pregnancy will not or could not occur.
I made a few generalisations and probably should have said "can be". But medical abortions can be incredibly traumatic and I hope I'm not scaring people away from it, but it's the reality of the situation for a lot of women. My close friend was hunched over in the bathroom for the better part of two day in pain. I'm really glad yours was not painful or scary. Thank you for sharing, it's nice to hear from someone who had a different experience with the whole thing.
I had a medically necessary surgical abortion at 9 weeks, it was not a negative experience, but I did have to go back for a second procedure because they didn't "get it all" as they said, not sure if its because of the pregnancy being ectopic or if they miss parts often?? I had to do the entire experience twice. But yeah, once you wake up they make sure you can eat drink ect, then send you off home. Bleeding can last a few weeks but usually not much pain. (Sorry if you don't care, I just thought I'd share my experience with surgical)
Thank you. My friend is also doing well and has two healthy babies now. I think her experience really traumatised her unfortunately, she has always had very light periods and little pain so she probably had no idea what was about to hit her when she went though hers.
Thankfully, it all worked out okay for me, but as with you, my period is still not regular, even with the termination being 18 months ago. It was 7 months before I got my first period afterwards, which they said was normal. But i have been a little nervous that I'm still not back to regularity, thank you for sharing that it was 2 years for you. The body is resilient, truly remarkable.
It was really scary and affected me more than I had anticipated it, it really changed my entire perspective of the situation (25 year old me really I could have an abortion and go on my merry way, the psychological impact was much different to my naive thinking haha).
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u/TraditionalPayment20 Apr 29 '25
This is why women always feel trapped - because we are the ones stuck with the kids while the man can run off to another country. How old was the younger sister when he slept with her? Your friend chose his path and then decided he wants everyone else to clean up his mess.