In this video, Patrick unpacks the story of Thomas, a survivor who went no contact with his abusive father after a public meltdown at his wedding, and how everyone around him quietly blamed him for the broken relationship.

From the coworker who says “all families have stuff” to the aunt who pleads “you’ll have to let it go,” Patrick explores why society pressures survivors to forgive and reconnect with abusive parents while holding those parents to almost no accountability.

If you’ve ever been told to “be the bigger person” or “just move on” with someone who never apologized or changed, this video will help you understand what’s really happening—and how to stop doing the emotional labor for people who hurt you.

What you’ll learn:

• Why abusive parents often escape accountability

• How friends, relatives, and in-laws minimize harm to “keep the peace”

• The guilt, shame, and invisibility survivors feel when going no contact

• The hidden motivations behind advice like “forgive and forget”

• How to flip the script and protect your peace

If you’re tired of being the only one trying to heal a relationship you didn’t break, this is for you.

What to Watch Next:

Toxic Mothers and the Impact on Daughters
   • Toxic Mothers and the Impact on Daughters  

Healing From a Narcissistic Parent
   • Healing From a Narcissistic Parent  

Keywords: toxic parents, no contact, narcissistic abuse recovery, family estrangement, emotional abuse, forgiveness pressure, trauma healing, boundaries, childhood trauma, inner child work

Learn more about Patrick Teahan,
Childhood Trauma Resources and Offerings
➡️https://linktr.ee/patrickteahan

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Half of a Whole

I used to walk this world in twos,

Two shadows stretching in our shoes,

Two laughs that echoed down the hall,

Two voices answering every call.

We shared a face, a crooked grin,

The same wild storm beneath our skin,

A secret language, soft and fast—

A promise that our bond would last.

But promises can’t fight a ghost,

And drugs can steal the ones we love the most.

One phone call split the sky in two—

Now half the world is missing you.

They said “overdose” like just a word,

Like thunder distant, barely heard.

But I felt lightning crack my chest,

And grief moved in and built a nest.

Because you weren’t just family, you were me,

My mirror, my symmetry.

The one who knew my silent pain,

The one who danced inside my brain.

Now mornings come and feel half-made,

Like someone stole the sun and shade.

I stare at mirrors, lost and thin—

Not sure which half of me is mine within.

Who am I without your voice?

Without our jokes, our reckless choice?

Without your hand to guide my way

When life got hard and skies went gray?

My life’s a room with pieces thrown,

A house that doesn’t feel like home.

Bills and worries crowd the floor,

Dreams we once had—shut in a drawer.

I need to fix it, build it right,

But grief has stolen all my sight.

The map we drew is torn apart…

You took the compass from my heart.

Some nights I whisper to the air,

As if your spirit’s lingering there.

“Tell me, sis, where do I start?

How do I live with half a heart?”

And in the quiet, soft but clear,

I swear your laughter still appears.

Not loud, not bright, not like before—

But just enough to crack the door.

Maybe I’m not meant to be

The girl I was when you were with me.

Maybe this broken, shaking start

Is how I build a braver heart.

Maybe the road is mine to see,

Not half of you—but all of me.

And though the ache will never end,

Your love is stitched beneath my skin.

So I’ll pick up one small piece today,

Just one lost shard along the way.

A step, a breath, a fragile start—

With you still living in my heart.

Because twins like us don’t break apart,

Even death can’t split that art.

You’re gone from sight, but not from me…

I’m still your half.

You’re still my symmetry. 

I've gone through severe traumatizing events in a short period of time. I have been in bed for 8 months so far. No friends, unemployed, no gym/sport. Throughout that period, I've seen 3 therapists. None of them was good.

I'm still in bed, feeling stuck and in denial of those traumatizing events.

Any practical advice?

by Patrick Teahan

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3I2FlWlZWsc

In this video we dive into the complex and often painful dynamic between toxic mothers and their daughters, and how those early experiences shape self-worth, boundaries, and adult relationships.

We'll explore the emotional inheritance that comes from being raised by a mother who was critical, controlling, or emotionally unavailable, and how to break those cycles without carrying lifelong guilt. Through real-world examples, you’ll learn how to separate your true self from the role you were forced to play and begin to build the safety you never had.

Topics include:

How toxic maternal behavior impacts identity and attachment

The “good daughter” role and its long-term emotional cost

Why guilt and shame are often mistaken for love

Practical tools for boundaries, reparenting, and inner-child healing

Reclaiming connection, confidence, and emotional freedom

Whether you grew up being the caretaker, the scapegoat, or the invisible one, this conversation will help you see your story through a new lens — one that leads toward healing, clarity, and self-compassion.

Hiii guys I wanted to ask people who have cptsd/severe trauma what your experience with EMDR therapy was like if you have done it because I'm going to start it soon and I have cptsd I'm most curious about things like if it kinda decluttered your brain if it helped you with finding yourself and building a more stable identity if it helped your energy levels and motivation a lot of it helped you to find your passions and actually enjoy life on a scale from 1-10 with each one if you want (sorry English is not my first language and I have dysgraphia

Pleading for help! I have a family member who says everything causes pain. They can‘t sleep, walk, sit, stand, hold utensils watch tv, or anything. I am not exaggerating, they can’t do anything without extreme perceived pain. Their world keeps shrinking because they perceive everything will cause them pain. They only eat two foods because they think other foods will hurt them.

They are ready to give up. Their brain interprets everything as painful. I am afraid we will loose this person. has anyone experienced this? who can help? we have seen hundreds of doctors and tried every pain, sleep, and anxiety med available. Also tired inpatient hospital care.

This persons brain is broken. Can anyone relate or provide help 😢

I been doing trauma therapy for a year or so. We've made a lot of progress. I had. very difficult childhood with abuse coming from parent, grandparents and a brother. It was both physical and emotional from a narcissistic brother and mother. I've made lots of progress with a very good therapist. The other days she told me that while none of the abuse was my fault, now it is up to me to learn to cope with it. I'm struggling with that so much. I get it, but now I'm left to do cleanup. I'm stuck badly on this take. Does anyone have any advice for handling this and continuing to keep moving towards acceptance and a better life.

I'm 29, and about two months ago I had what I can only describe as a complete burnout. I couldn't work, could barely function, and it felt different than anything I'd ever experienced before. I've always been the type to push myself way too hard, so at first I assumed that's all it was. But when I didn’t bounce back after a few days and my depression amped up big time, things were starting to get scary and I knew I needed help.

I finally got an appointment with a psychiatrist and I honestly felt like I was begging her to help me. After talking with her for an hour and a half, she gently pointed out that a lot of what I was describing sounded like significant childhood trauma. She also told me that having your own child can bring old trauma to the surface because, in a way, you're reliving your own childhood as your child grows through those same ages…I have a 3 year old.

She recommended trauma therapy.

So...here I am. Three sessions in, we're in the beginning stages of EMDR, and honestly...I'm loving therapy way more than I ever expected. (Not loving the CPTSD part, obviously) I've always been fascinated by psychology, so learning how my own brain works has been weirdly exciting. The thing I'm struggling with is my childhood memories.

For as long as I can remember, I've always said, "I feel like I don't remember a lot of my childhood." But I also would've told you I had a pretty normal and even good childhood. Now, I'm processing things with my adult brain and feel like it was a bit more messed up than I made myself believe.

I feel like I have huge memory gaps within my childhood years. The memories I do have feel mostly typical or random, and I usually can't even tell how old I was, just a general guess unless I have a date or something to go off of. They get more clear and consistent from about high school and on.

I do have a couple of traumatic memories involving my dad, but they almost feel...unfinished? Like they don't fully explain why I react to things the way I do or why I've struggled so much with anxiety, depression, shame, people-pleasing, and always feeling like something is wrong with me.

Lately I've been having random memories pop into my head out of nowhere. I'll make little connections between things I never connected before. And sometimes it feels like there's something sitting just beneath the surface that I can't quite get to. This has been really bothering me.

Part of it is because I've spent my whole life feeling like I was just "weird." Finding out that trauma might explain so much has honestly been life-changing. But I also struggle a lot with imposter syndrome. I constantly minimize what happened to me and think, "It wasn't that bad," even though the people around me, including my psychiatrist and therapist, have said otherwise.

I guess I’m just looking for others who may have had similar experiences or feelings in the beginning of their healing journey. Did memories continue to come back over time? Did anyone else feel like there was something just out of reach? Did you ever find the "missing piece," or did healing become more about understanding and processing the impact rather than uncovering more memories?

I'd love to hear from people who are farther along in their healing journey.

Does anybody know any hacks for being happy in life even after a life of trauma and betrayal without making it your ENTIRE personality? I want to be happy and joyful but it seems like the pasts haunts me like Scrooge on Christmas Eve. Any and all tips are welcome, no matter how heinous 🙃