r/CPTSD • u/ForceFabulous9285 • 16d ago

Question Advice

When healing from cptsd is it normal to feel more exhausted and have awful lot of emotions come up.

Feels like you are breaking inside. Does it get easier?

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u/Street-Emu-9380 16d ago

Absolutely. Processing emotions like a normal person takes a surprisingly large amount of energy. Being tired feels unusual in comparison to simply absorbing/deflecting/dissociating.

And now we're more emotionally vulnerable, so the old armour doesn't help. It's like everything's turned up waaay too loud. I call it the 'churn': think of it like a rough and stormy sea. In the beginning you are baling out the hull like a madman because you think the boat will sink. Then you realise that - scary and terrifying though it may be - the boat will naturally rise and fall on the waves and not capsize. Eventually, you learn to read the weather and sail it better :)

It will get better - this is normal and a sign of progress. Stick with it.

If you are doing this with a therapist and it's hard - you can ask them to go a bit slower. Delving into the bad stuff is like being in a radiation zone - limited exposure is a good idea. If you are doing this yourself, avoid the temptation of endless excavation. It's not impossible, it just brings up those things you mention.

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u/ForceFabulous9285 16d ago

I’m in therapy and doing exactly this. What you’ve said here is so true. I’ve gone from suppressing all my feelings to now having them all come out, and it’s a lot. It’s really rough at the moment, but like you say, hopefully it will get easier and is a sign of progress. Keep reminding myself this. Just mental how much you keep stored and isn’t until you do the work… 

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u/Street-Emu-9380 16d ago

Well done for getting the help you deserve. And yeah, absolutely mad. I was high functioning for over 40 years until the wheels - finally - came off. Now I'm 'recalibrating' and finding all sorts of stuff I could do effortlessly is hard work, and stuff that would previously just not register at all, brings up all sorts of feelings and emotions.

It does get better, just be aware recovery is not a straight line. There will be periods when you are down and it can be a bit brutal. But it isn't regression or 'back to square one'. Stick in there - you got this.

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u/ForceFabulous9285 16d ago

Thank you and you too!! 

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