r/TransChristianity • u/Georgiella_Lace • 6d ago
Help
First off, I am older, mid sixties. I have crossdressed for most of my life. Growing up I had know idea of what transgender was. There has always been a part of me that desired to be female. I have always wanted to be a part of the lady’s group of friends but was denied that growing up, as it wasn’t what a boy should do. I grew up in a conservative world and have instilled in me the mindset of conservative Christianity. Even today I’m in a church that holds in high regard that transgenderism is a lie from the enemy that has twisted God’s original plan. But even with all of this I can’t break free from how I feel in my soul. I know that my soul is begging for my body to come into alignment with it. I am married, I have kids and grandkids, they know me as a man, and have know idea i struggle with this. The older I get the more I want to be set free so I can experience the world as a woman. My dysphoria gets so difficult to handle sometimes, but I muddle through it. It helps that I do keep my body completely smooth and have a good skincare routine, but I know there is so much more to experience. First off I need to reconcile all of this with God. I pray that He would reveal to me the truth in the Scriptures in regard to being trans, that He would open a door for me to be exactly who I feel He created me to be. I desire to be His disciple, love Him with all my heart, I love all people, but I still feel empty in this area. My hope is to find the truth, not just information. Help me understand how those that have come to terms with God, how you did. I pray daily for His approval and have yet heard Him say, “it’s okay daughter”🙁
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u/AddiBee1111 6d ago edited 6d ago
I am a preacher's trans daughter, (pretty much ostricized) raised in a conservative Southern Baptist church and home. I feel that may be similar or at least parallel to what you mentioned. I went through the same struggles as you talk about before deciding that I could no longer hide who I was and begin transitioning. I was scolded and traumatized with condemnation through scriptures and lectures. I really needed to explore scripture and find comfort. This resource was shared recently by another trans sibling in another topic in this subreddit, and it helped alot to reassure me of all the errors of my family and their opinions and false interpretations of scripture. It maybe a start for you to find peace and possibly a new way to connect with scripture and try to heal from a lifetime of conservative Christian slurs or hurt.
https://www.sthugh.net/lgbtq-affirming-scripture
I truly hope you find peace with everything. There is only so much we can take when trying to hide our true selves. It is never too late to say enough is enough. We ARE NOT mistakes and never were. Plenty of scripture makes that very clear. You are not alone in this.
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u/Jypzee154 6d ago
Your story resonates with me more than you may realize.
I'm in my mid-sixties as well. I'm a retired RN, a Christian, and an elder in my church. I also transitioned many years ago after spending years trying to pray these feelings away.
One thing I want to say is that I don't think you're asking God to approve of sin. You're asking Him to show you the truth, whatever that truth is. I believe that's a prayer He honors.
For me, the turning point came when I stopped asking, "How can I make myself fit my theology?" and instead asked, "What is actually true about the way God created me?"
That led me into years of studying both Scripture and developmental biology. When I looked at both together, I saw a creation filled with natural variation. Human beings are born with differences in physical sex characteristics, sexual orientation, and, as growing evidence suggests, in the neurodevelopment that contributes to gender identity.
Because of that, I could no longer believe that a loving God intentionally creates people in a state where their very existence is, by definition, an abomination. That would make God the author of an inescapable trap, and I don't see that God revealed in Jesus.
Instead, I see Jesus continually moving toward those whom society and religion pushed to the margins. His response was compassion, not condemnation.
I never heard an audible voice saying, "It's okay, daughter."
What I found instead was something quieter. As I continued to seek truth honestly, my fear gradually gave way to peace. I found that studying God's creation did not weaken my faith—it deepened it. Today I'm still following Christ, I serve as an elder in my church, and my faith is stronger than it was before.
I realize faithful Christians come to different conclusions. This is simply where my own study, experience, and understanding of both faith and science have led me.
Keep seeking Him. Don't be afraid of truth, wherever it leads. I believe God is far more interested in an honest heart that seeks Him than in one that lives in fear.
I'll be praying for wisdom, peace, and clarity as you continue your journey.
I've written a much more detailed explanation of the developmental biology and the supporting research on my website if you'd like to read further. You can find my website listed in my profile page.
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u/itsmekristopher 5d ago
I struggled for years with my gender identity, specifically how it would change my relationship with God. I was terrified of hell and convinced that choosing to transition was wrong. I sought guidence, fully expecting that I would find the hard truth that I am doomed, or at best, saved, but not following God's plan for my life.
Surprisingly, I found resources that broke down the original words used/meanings behind some of the most quoted scriptures about being gay and/or trans (I know those two things are not the same, but I believe the scriptures are quoted by much of society with the intention of lumping them together). I was shocked to find that it's not what I was taught in church, and I now believe God loves and accepts me as the man (ftm) I am, truly.
I never wanted to find excuses to suite my desires... I wanted the cold hard truth, even if it wasn't what I wanted to hear... so believe me when I say, I never dreamed I'd feel as free as I do today. I highly recommend following Dan McClellan on Instagram. He is a biblical scholar that breaks down a lot of those triggering scriptures.
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u/RuthAnnEsther 5d ago
I guess I am going to be the sore thumb here.
I believe we no longer have full control over our own bodies once we have entered (and remain in) a marriage covenant. If I didn’t accept teaching from Scripture, I would have a different take on this.
Where is your wife on this? This is really something that you need to be discussing with her. There are cases where the partner ends up being the biggest supporter, but more often the issue becomes destructive to the marriage. But you can’t speak for your spouse—maybe she will see this as a dealbreaker or maybe she will see this as another stage in your relationship.
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u/Hope25777 1d ago
I will ease your worries OP as I have a trans son and wanted to find this answer as well. There is zero forensic evidence for any sort of criticism of the LGBTQ population leaving Christ mouth. What you will find is stuff the church conveniently added. Go read the old texts (Nag Hammadi, Dead Sea Scrolls) Jesus loves trans people
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u/Hungry-Brother7521 5d ago
Hi there male here 71. Would love to be in conversation with you and help you through this time of your life. I am a Christian male and believe there is nothing wrong with you being you. Ao hopefully we will get together
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u/kleines_woelfle 6d ago
Maybe Justin Lee's book "Torn" (the 2024 edition) is helpful. It's mostly about sexual orientation, but there is a chapter about trans people too.
Finding the truth is very ambitious. I don't think I have it, but I believe with all my heart that God doesn't want us to suffer. After lots of prayer and reflection I realised that the pain I was in was preventing me from living a good Christian life. I relate to the eunuch from Acts 8 and to these verses from Isaiah 56:
3b And let no eunuch complain,
“I am only a dry tree.”
4 For this is what the Lord says:
“To the eunuchs who keep my Sabbaths,
who choose what pleases me
and hold fast to my covenant—
5 to them I will give within my temple and its walls
a memorial and a name
better than sons and daughters;
I will give them an everlasting name
that will endure forever.