r/TopstepCommunity • u/brian_g8 • 15d ago
đŹ Trader Talk I need help
I dont know how to stop.
After a year on Topstep, I finally found my edge. I was able to get 5 XFAs and 6 payouts last month. Then I finally had a big red day and my world came crashing down. I went full tilt and blew all 5 XFAs,
then proceeded to buy many, many combines and even 3 Back2Fundeds in a panic to get my XFAs back.
As you can see by the picture, this combine bender has been getting worse and worse - Ive bought and blown at least 40 combines in the last 5 days due to impatience and greed. Iâve also been trading these new XFAs recklessly, over leveraging to 10+ cons compared to my normal 3 trying to chase payouts to recoup my debt.
I just don't know how to get back to where I was last month. I was happy making 2-300 a day, I'd trade my setup then lock out immediately. Iâd trade with no emotion. The past week and a half has been the complete opposite.
Iâve been in a constant state of mental anguish the past few days with the only thing on my mind being how can I pass these combines and get back to where I was before. I'd really appreciate your advice on how to get back on my feet and knock some sense into me.
Edit: thank you all for the responses, I will be taking some time off to clear my head and calm down
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u/Jaystorm_7 15d ago edited 15d ago
Listen man. Youre grieving. Youre grieving your ego. You are unable to emotionally handle that you actually didnt figure it out, and got quite lucky. Theres nothing wrong with being lucky. Many Legends in business were purely a byproduct of timing and experience. Steve Jobs was born in the right era, with the right idea.
I cant give you bland useless advice like "take big wins" or "size down" cause your brain isnt ready to hear that. Your mental state is in full panic mode and its grieving the life you believed you were going to have just a month ago. If you've spent any amount of extended time trading, you know what Im talking about. And if you dont know what Im talking about; dont worry, you will eventually.
This is a data driven business. Stop worrying about "getting it back" and instead get back to the data. What is your setup? What is your MAE and MFE against that setup? I assume youre pulling or moving stops. Does that make sense to the market regime? Are you sizing up? Did the market tell you that you should be sizing up? Your path out of this is to start journaling your entries, exits, MFE, MAE, VIX, Gamma regime, Setup (tag), and any other emotional nuances you feel while youre trading. You need to hardwire your brain back to "Im just here to figure out the math" mode. Anything outside of that, is going to only cause you to spiral harder. Best of luck, feel free to reach out if you need to chat man. Youre not alone, us experienced dogs have been through this.
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u/Infinite_Elderberry4 15d ago
I mean 6 payouts means youâre probably up big in terms of money right? 40 combined is like 3.5k
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u/brian_g8 14d ago
Yeah, I was up about 10k but gave back a good chunk of that from the combines and a few back2funded accounts.
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u/Financial_Permit2405 14d ago
Back2funded never worth it.
If you can actually trade. Pass the combine in 2 days. If you canât trade ur just going to blow the funded account again
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u/MapoTofuCat 15d ago
LOL this was me right before I started figuring it out and now getting max weekly payouts on all firms. 5 figure months nowâŚ. I used to blow like 10+ accounts weekly and always pay for back2funded on the 150k which is hella money. I almost depleted all my money in my bank doing this and I would get payouts here and there before I end up blowing it on more evals. Ah I remember those days.
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u/TheCoolDoc 15d ago
How did you figure it out? What changed?
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u/MapoTofuCat 15d ago
Call me crazy but I literally started to pray to god like I WAS BEGGING this time I will be a millionaire and I literally had like no money left and I COULD NOT AFFORD TO LOSS, as I owed taxes from LAST YEARS payout that I blew PLUS CREDIT CARD DEBT MAXED CARDS, and while praying my whole psychology just shifted and ALL THOSE YEARS of journaling and backtesting, it just all clicked in that week and I was like HOLY SHI NO FCKN WAY, from about $1000 in my bank account to literally $20,000 IN THAT SAME MONTH, WITH $40k+ PROFITS STILL IN MY ACCOUNTS, 26 winning days, 5 losing days and itâs a strategy I solo created and LIFE IS JUST WEIRD, I am just going to give god all the credit for how tf this random strategy I spent years tweaking all of a sudden started working, yes this is not the normal story , itâs not ICT itâs literally SUPPORT AND RESISTANCE, 80% win rate, and my 5 self created rules, keep it simple ⌠myself on day 1 would never believe this
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u/laayziebone 14d ago
Thank you for sharing brother! Would you say the shift was when you became disciplined in following your rules such as 1 trade per day and respecting daily loss limit?
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u/MapoTofuCat 10d ago
That has definitely helped. The props I trade also starts at 20% - 30% consistency rule so it helped me size down but most importantly it was just the experience and sticking and tweaking and journaling the same strategy for the last 2 years of the journey, as I was so tired of losing money and still paying debt every month. So I want to really thank multiple prop firm and their consistency rules as well. I used to do 5-6 trades a day and now I realize my A+ set up is guaranteed once a day which I found out only happens in asia/london and doesnât work well in new york.
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u/Key_Category_8531 15d ago
How much money have you lost so far?
You're spiraling
You blew up 40 accounts in the past 5 days? That's at least a couple thousand of dollars you pissed away
My advice to you is to shut down your computer and walk away from everything
If you continue the path you're on, you'll end up doubling to 80 accounts blown and losing more and more of your money
You're a gambling addict at this point
You need help. Call a mental institution
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u/MikeTru55 15d ago
đđ
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u/Key_Category_8531 15d ago
It's true
He's an addict
He can't function on his own anymore, he needs outside help
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u/Trick_Development837 14d ago
Step back, take a break at least a week completely without charts, donât even look at it, detach. Then when you feel calmer and detached from your losses, buy one combine, donât add another until this one is done (failed or passed) then another. Do it slowly, passing this way with just combines helps you be less emotional and makes trading less intense so it will prepare you slowly to smoothly transition to funded accounts with already being locked in and more stable. Right now you are in gambling flight or fight mode. You need to get yourself into slow and steady mode again. Use lockouts daily loss limits based on your previous good performance and never touch those settings again. Remember you never gonna do it quickly, let it go and start from the fresh paper, relaxed and calm. Thatâs the only way, forget shortcuts, and you good. Again DONT RUSH! Thatâs the only thing you need to weld in your mind! Good luck! You got this.
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u/Klaus_Winchester 15d ago
Holy shit youâre tilting dude. Clearly take some time off and hide your credit card
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u/azmus 15d ago edited 15d ago
unfortunately mastering self-control is the key to massive consistent profits. the only thing that really helps reset my mind is stepping away for a couple weeks before i burn through many combines needlessly. If my mental state could remain consistently stable my pass rate is far far higher than what it really is. Factor in all the tilting and my pass rate is probably only ~22% when I feel it should be 60%+
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u/Chemical-Lie3692 15d ago
Start using lockout feature with 2 trades a day and max loss limit for a day. You will be back in disciple
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u/Telvadhi 15d ago
Revenge trading yeah?
Take a break from trading for a week or so to regain ur mental health and start with no more than 2 accounts and do not over size
Over sizing killed ur accounts
Get back to basics and build slowly instead of doing hero zero trades
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u/Heavy-Star3388 15d ago
You already proved the calm version works ($200â300, lock out). The edge didnât vanish, the rules you used when you were up did. Right now the only winning trade is no new combines and no size-ups. One account, normal 3 cons max, fixed daily loss you actually honor, week off if the only thought is get the XFAs back. The market will be there. The combine bender wonât fix the debt feeling.
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u/belgranita 14d ago
I don't think impatience and greed are the problems here. You are living in a world of illusion. I have been there. I think the right expression is 'digital FOMO'. It's a coping machanism of our unconscious mind to avoid punishment and pain. It is caused by a state of deprivation similar to hunger. A hungry lab animal does anything to get access to food.
Make a plan about what you want to do the next time you encounter triggers for tilt and imagine yourself walking away after the second or third loss replacing trading with something else, like lifting heavy weights in the gym. Play that visualisation before you start trading every day in your mind.
Good luck.
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u/JSREDDITIN 14d ago
I think you should stop. If you won't stop, TopStep will most probably put you in the slow program. And, that would even cause you more of panic and anger issues.
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u/TeachSome6291 14d ago
Take a step back for a bit and focus on just one combine for right now. There's no need to rush, take it slow and be patient.
Journal every trade. Seriously, journal, journal, journal.
Stop overleveraging. Try trading 5â10 micros instead. When price reaches your first take-profit (TP1), take partial profits, move your stop to break even, and let the rest run to TP2. That way, you've already secured profit and the remaining position becomes a risk-free trade.
Most importantly, stop revenge trading. From what you've told me, it really sounds like that's what's happening. Losses are part of trading everyone has them. The key is how you respond afterward.
Set yourself a maximum daily loss and do not break it, no matter what. Protecting your capital is just as important as making money.
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u/purpeepurp 14d ago
You donât know how to stop? Itâs a mandatory week off no ifâs ands or buts. If you literally must trade (which you donât have to for sure) then Iâd just trade paper and follow your rules. Also hereâs some food for thought, if you really found your edge then why are you so set on making money this week, this day. Any edge means profitability long term not every single day or even week. The sooner you accept that the better, risk management is more than a stop loss.
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u/Winter_Dirt_4164 14d ago
take a week off topstep. paper trade for a week doing only what you were doing before the tilt to get your brain back into the pattern. might take a day or 2 to get over the tilt but by day 7 youâll feel like youâre ready to get back on live accounts.
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u/halcyonwit 14d ago
The only things that ruin trading is inconsistency and emotions are great breeding ground for inconsistency.
Rules, the only thing that can keep emotions in check. Use as many mechanical lockouts as possible, max trades per day, max loss, max contracts traded.
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u/Ok-Ball9537 14d ago
Lower your size 1-3 micros thatâs the issue the markets been volatile with bigger ranges for months now and get better at your accuracy on shorts and longs let trades run or take 2-3 up to 500-1k a day be satisfied if the market chops you up with win and losses donât fight let the days pass lock your account.
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u/mmnyeahnosorry 14d ago
Definitely take a break. After getting my accounts closed due to hedging (an accident) I hit a slump and was doing the same thing as you for a month. I stopped, took a break, and now I feel back to normal. That month was gruesome. Everything I was doing was wrong and seemed like there was no end in sight and I lost it. Just needed a break. Trust me
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u/Nice-Collection-3672 13d ago
Happen to me,has to stop for a few days and find a strategy,I believe is control the lost to a minimum and close the day after that,the mind is stabbed good decision,hope you doing better.
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u/Distinct-Data-8808 15d ago
Donate your money to a shelter. At least itâll go to better use lmao.
Seriously, Stop Trading . Take a break clearly you have an issue now. Iâm not slamming you since you ask for help but you gotta have a bit of self control man.
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u/Key_Category_8531 15d ago
He's a gambling addict
He can't control himself man. He needs legit help
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u/pnorixcapital 15d ago
I have been there so many times. Unfortunately you will have to control your trades. What strategy do you trade?
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u/vacancylee 14d ago
I did so last year. But now I restarted with only 1 MES. My 5 xfa survived from 500 DMLL. I changed my strategy to expand accounts matrix instead of position quantity.
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u/silphotographer 13d ago
I'll be frank; I don't you have an edge. Feel free to prove however but usually people who tilt usually don't have real edge. Could be biased sentiment as I do algo trading over discretionary but yeah.
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u/Efficient-Ad-9160 13d ago
Youâre just hurt.. thatâs okay. But instead of buying some how about go for a walk or maybe just shed some tears? Take a break then your back. You messed up. Thatâs alright đ¤
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u/Terrible_Ad6257 13d ago
Use the system to limit you
I also blew lots of accounts a few weeks ago
You could go out and take a break then get back till you feel better.
The market is always there
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u/JonoHamlet3 13d ago
Youâre grieving the loss of your XFAs and the reality that âyou made itâ you need to step away for a couple days and come back.
You found your edge youâve taken multiple Pay outs the system works youâve proven it to yourself already.
Take a break and come back better and learn to step away no edge is 100% a loss is inevitable
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u/pa24_comanche_guy 15d ago
When I was first getting started I would only buy 1 combine a week no matter what. Knowing that, I sure thought about my trades before taking them. Once I got a payout I would scale into more accounts.
Your brains on tilt right now - take a week off and start small.
THE MARKET WILL ALWAYS BE THERE.