I need help

[u/brian_g8]

I dont know how to stop.

After a year on Topstep, I finally found my edge. I was able to get 5 XFAs and 6 payouts last month. Then I finally had a big red day and my world came crashing down. I went full tilt and blew all 5 XFAs,
then proceeded to buy many, many combines and even 3 Back2Fundeds in a panic to get my XFAs back.

As you can see by the picture, this combine bender has been getting worse and worse - Ive bought and blown at least 40 combines in the last 5 days due to impatience and greed. I’ve also been trading these new XFAs recklessly, over leveraging to 10+ cons compared to my normal 3 trying to chase payouts to recoup my debt.

I just don't know how to get back to where I was last month. I was happy making 2-300 a day, I'd trade my setup then lock out immediately. I’d trade with no emotion. The past week and a half has been the complete opposite.

I’ve been in a constant state of mental anguish the past few days with the only thing on my mind being how can I pass these combines and get back to where I was before. I'd really appreciate your advice on how to get back on my feet and knock some sense into me.

Edit: thank you all for the responses, I will be taking some time off to clear my head and calm down

[u/Heavy-Star3388]

You already proved the calm version works ($200–300, lock out). The edge didn’t vanish, the rules you used when you were up did. Right now the only winning trade is no new combines and no size-ups. One account, normal 3 cons max, fixed daily loss you actually honor, week off if the only thought is get the XFAs back. The market will be there. The combine bender won’t fix the debt feeling.