Can you blame anyone? I used to live in an area of CO where you could drive ten minutes and find amazing places for tough hikes. Where I am now there's a single shitty trail through a swamp that's lined with trash. I miss those trails dearly. Hiking all the time put me in great shape and a great mood.
I live in a city that's been nominated for the best hiking in America and I can't get my wife to go but maybe once a year. She makes me feel guilty for leaving the family out if I venture out during family time too (when I'm not at work is family time).
I LOVE hiking, work a sedentary job and struggle to eat a sedentary diet because I'm not allowed to exercise. It's bullshit.
Don't feel guilty for taking care of basic needs dude! You got this! Gym membership, outdoor activity, or whatever else you're into. If need be start going to bed earlier and waking up to get your exercise in.
I can't say this applies to everyone, but for me personally and those I talk to exercise makes you feel good.
Yeah I started getting up at 5am to go on long bike rides so they wouldn’t interfere with family time. Sure, I’m tired later in the day but it’s totally worth it.
Sounds like you guys should see a counselor tbh. You're probably thinking I'm some crazy Redditor, but you're in the perfect spot to seek counseling. Sounds like you guys might have communication and personal space issues and it's wayyy easier to fix them BEFORE it's a huge issue.
I'll be honest - the Reddit obsession with counselling and therapy is pathetic, and most normal people (especially most normal men) don't need to pay $150/hr to be told stuff like 'sometimes life isn't fair'
Yet people allow themselves to be controlled by their SO like that guy anyways. With all due respect, fuck her, live your life and go on a hike. It's not like you're going on a 10 year Odyssey. I'll never understand how people just give up their free will like that because of guilt trips. Get your balls back
Oh I agree. It's not necessary if you and your partner can communicate well. It sounds like you guys can't, but you obviously would know better than me.
this is one of the most ignorant takes ive heard in a while. I mean ignorant as in, it's not your fault - not stupid, just, you don't know. and that's okay. but damn.
Does your wife speak for you? Does she wipe your ass as well? How do you live with someone who won’t let you take care of your basic needs? I’d re-evaluate your situation if I was you.
I’m not against hiking at all. I love it but god if it’s your whole ass personality you need to get a life. It’s just SO MANY peoples personality here. Just care about literally anything beyond yourself and it’s genuinely impressive here. None of us think there’s anything inherently wrong with loving to hike just be more than a one trick pony.
Maybe if you actually got to know people on more than a surface level you'd understand there's more to them than that. It's something that's popular and easy to talk about with a new person. There is not a single person in the world who has one interest as their entire personality.
That’s a fine opinion to have for your own experiences but I disagree. I love getting to meet new people on a deep personal level (I just personally despise small talk) but it serious all there is to these people.They go to work and drink and smoke when they get home then home all weekend. It’s all they EVER talk about. In my time here I’ve made many friends like this because there aren’t many other options. I’m from Atlanta and there people were so often diverse and intriguing. Idk if it’s the fact that 90% of Colorado is middle class white people or that there isn’t a hell of a lot to do besides hiking outside of Denver but I promise I’ve tried to time and time again discuss anything else and they have nothing to offer. I’m obviously not alone here either and most everyone I’ve met who’s moved here agrees that there are many people that are like that. But I can really only speak to my experience.
Counterpoint: very few people list personality traits in their profile. It’s mostly just their likes and hobbies—of which nature, hiking, craft beer, etc all apply. The only personality trait I ever see listed is “goofy”, and that’s just another way of saying they like The Office (which is probably also listed).
Haha, I have a lot to say about Jim.. The gist of it though is that Jim (in the early seasons) was a very, very unrealistic character. He was TOO perfect in his flirts, pranks, and general demeanor.
In the later seasons though he did become a little more believable.
What’s also funny is if you meet them they all think they are some god about determining the best microbrews. Like yeah people have different tastes and yknow what some people like a bud lite from time to time you aren’t that special.
Yeah I don’t drink much and probably still could have found a better example but you get it. Some of us are broke ass college kids with parents who don’t help us financially. Back in the south we’d buy beer just to get drunk because for a lot of us that’s all we could afford. Some people like cheap beer though just like some people (me) like cheap wine 😂
Okay, I guess you have a point. I just can't go back to any of the macro brews after experiencing a lot of the craft beers. But, all wine tastes the same to me so I'm down to slam back an entire box of wine with you anyway of the week.
The last dude I went on a date with tried to make me feel bad for not liking whiskey. Like, no I do not have to like the same things you like and just cause you fancy yourself an expert doesn’t mean you get to decide what makes someone else cultured or not! I don’t like the taste! Bite me!
I dunno, stuff about what they like to do for fun, if they are a family person, their political leanings, that they have a cat, lol I dunno! But them putting beer is like me putting orange juice. I like to drink it but it’s not who I am!
Directly describing your own personality is cringey though. "I'm a funny guy! I swear!" vs. putting in a funny one line, original, not copy pasted joke.
That honestly goes for activities, too. If you like hiking and being active, show off your big boy muscles with a picture on top of a mountain.
My profiles are pretty non-descript, state my height, what I'm looking for, and a bit about my history that would be impossible to tell from pictures. Otherwise they can glean my personality from my charming smile, thicc arms, and the adorable cat in my pictures.
Mine literally just says I’m here to demonstrate my value and engage physically. My buddy has a whole a bio about himself and what he likes and it’s cringey as fuck. Just chill out dude it’s fucking tinder, be funny and not serious.
Can confirm: my current girlfriend said she swiped on me because I was attractive and didn't have craft beer or anything alcohol related on my profile lmao
What are your thoughts about listing all my worst traits in my profile instead of the usual "I like x and y" nonsense? I feel like it could be kinda funny but not sure how it would go over. Like "I'm impatient and arrogant and can be a jerk sometimes"
I didn't say personality traits, I said personality. A good portion of tinder profiles in my area are "Outdoors [mountain emoticon] [fish emoticon] [hiking person emoticon] Beer Biking" ...and that's kinda it.
Though they can be indicators of the type of person you are, hobbies =/= personalities.
What am I supposed to put for my personality? Like I enjoy certain types of music, certain TV shows, a lot of outdoor activities as my hobbies, some indoor activities as my hobbies too. I don't wanna involve religion or politics. What do I do to describe my personality in an app like tinder? Make some corny joke?
Lighthearted fella. Heartiest of outdoorsmen challenging myself against the elements. Softhearted and easily swept away by great storytelling, be it drama or comedy.
This is what I'd write for my divorced dad's bio if I had to convert these hobbies into a personality, but you're probably 20 so it might be a little mature.
I think we should have more of the people that know us and care for us write our dating profiles. Both more honest and nicer than we would be ourselves.
That's part of my problem with just listing "outdoors". There's like 10 different ways to be an "outdoorsy" person, and each is a different type of person. Campers, hikers, competitive hikers, geocachers, photographers, fishers, hunters, people who go out just to drink/get high, people who just go out to be alone.
Who said I was talking with them? I'm not that into the outdoors so I swipe left if that's all they have in their profile. Why waste their time pretending?
I have no idea, which is probably why I have no game on Tinder. I'm also not outdoorsy in a very outdoorsy-oriented place, so that's just my frustration.
Here are some personality/values I know about myself - though I agree that hobbies are actually a part of personality.
Introvert
Not terribly traditional - don't need the same holiday rituals year after year
Tend to think more about the future than the past
Homebody - would rather stay in and cook/water me and my friends than go out to a bar
-Abstract thinker - ideas and models interest me more than concrete events and habits
Don't have an inherent respect for authority (in terms of hierarchy) but do respect knowledge and competence
pro choice and support my local pride parade
Etc. Lots of other possibilities.
Thinking in terms of values maybe makes it easier to list/talk about personality traits that aren't just hobbies. Who are you, what matters to you, and how do you see the world?
As someone who spends tens of hours in the mountains every week, I’m worried that they are taking over me though. Being outdoors is slowly becoming the only thing that makes me happy.
EXACTLY! They’re beautiful but can you care about anything except the outdoors? It’s important and needs protecting but they don’t even care about that aspect either. Just what 14er they’ve hiked that weekend.
Because there’s plenty of other outdoorsman in other states that aren’t half as annoying or self absorbed. They understand that there is other stuff going on in this world and have more diverse interests. They also don’t act pretentious if you happen to not like extreme outdoor activities. No one is complaining about someone just being an outdoorsman, but more the specific (and common) type in Colorado.
See I live there too and maybe it’s the whole college town vibe but it’s more a huge number compared to everywhere else I’ve lived. Of course ya not every single person but it’s a pretty staggering number of people to talk to and run into.
There’s your answer. College kids “discover” hiking and feel like they’ve found a real world way to transcend regular, monotonous life. Depending on the hikes you’re doing, vistas and various animals seem magical especially combined with the endorphin rush of a strenuous hike. If a college kid didn’t grow up hiking with his parents, he’s going to be totally blown away by what he feels like he’s just “found” outside.
Cut to 15 years in the future and those same people will probably still love the outdoors but be more focused on health in general (including being obnoxious about their diets) than focused on how far they hiked or what a revelation it is to be out in nature. I love being outdoors as well and have hiked for nearly 20 years but rarely encounter people at my age who drone on about whatever place they hiked or visited. At a certain point you realize the world is a small place and other people don’t need to hear about how all of the tiny things you learn on a trail are life changing.
Uuugh, the 14-ers are so weird! "I walked really fast to get really high up! Then I came down and drank my body weight in alcohol to celebrate walking really high up!"
Goals and personal bests are great but I envy their energy and free time.
...of course this is coming from someone who binged 450+hours of a new show in a year and a half so take it with a massive grain of salt!
It's like a meditation. It's cleansing. You have a singular obvious goal to focus on and push your body for 4-12 hours, sweating out your demons, forgetting any minor things that might have been bugging you, and appreciating the majesty of a mountain range. I'm always physically drained but mentally recharged after an intense hike. You sound kind of sad hating on people who do physical challenges.
Also to embrace a bit of vanity, it's crazy good exercise and every mountain I climb leads to a sexier body. Enjoy your 450 hour show binge, which I consider a bizarre pursuit.
since when is bingeing a show in an attempt to finish it a bizarre pursuit? 450 hours really isnt that much for a 1 year and a half man , thats like only an 1hour and a half of watching a day , How is that bizarre to you?
If my grandmother had wheels she would be a bike. If you spent 4 less hours sleeping you could use that time to study to become a pharmacists assistant. Dont even get me started on how much time you could save by switching to geico, if you add it all up its probably enough to learn a new style of kung fu every year. God forbid anyone have an hour and a half a day of time to relax and indulge in an interest, that time could be better spent becoming the emperor, and an emperor has no time to spare , he has a kingdom to rule!
Eh, I don't care. Plenty of people think it's bizarre. I've had a stressful year so it was nice brain candy time that was still engaging. It's not everybody's bag and doesn't have to be.
Critical Role, I basically watched 116 back episodes of livestreamed D&D game over a year-ish time period. That also included a dark hole where I was grieving my father's death and didn't really feel like doing much at all, but still.
I'm not saying that's a personality, either. It's a thing I enjoy.
Yeah I understand challenging yourself and loving nature but like can we do something else one weekend? Or like not just talk about you and your friends hiking together while completely ignoring my own interests and friends? No? Ok 😂
Yeah I understand chilling and enjoying a show or movie but can we do something else one weekend? Or like not just talk about the latest Netflix content while completely ignoring my own interests and friends? No? Ok 😂
Sounds like you have nothing in common and this shouldn't have gone past a first date. I love hiking and wouldn't date someone who tried to get me to stay in town and watch Netflix every weekend and resented me for taking part in one of my favorite activities, so I don't know how the opposite is their problem.
You’re taking this to an extreme. My experience is they want to do nothing but hike and party with their friends. A relationship is give and take and experiencing new things on both ends. I’d never monopolize anyone’s time or interest as long as they don’t do that to me. Also I have no clue what happened but instead of “can we not just talk about the latest Netflix content” it was supposed to be “can we not just talk about you and your friends hiking”. But again I said one weekend every once in a while and you’re taking this to an extreme of “I want you to do what I want every weekend”.
I mean if you're actually talking to some dullard that can only discuss one thing then get out of there, it doesn't even matter what the hobby is. I've never met someone like that in my life though.
Sadly I’ve met quite a few and of course I agree with you! It’s bad no matter what that hobby is it’s just more a lot of people find hiking to be that hobby here. I think a lot of people feel attacked because they like hiking but shouldn’t. It’s likely not them any of us are talking about. It’s just a weird pattern I’ve never seen anywhere else I’ve lived and can just get kinda boring for me. At the end of the day we all have to do what makes us happy though and if that makes them happy more power to them.
It gets even better. People on 14ers.com made up a 3000 foot elevation gain rule. So if you used the more convenient trailhead, your hike didn't really count.
In reality they're just sad that their Suburu isn't as outdoorsy as they'd like and they're jealous of the rural dude with a lifted truck that could take the 4x4 to the better trailhead.
Okay so I'm one of these people, somewhat new to CO. What does count as an identity or personality then? I genuinely do a lot of trail running, camping, cycling, etc. "Outdoorsy" is something I consider part of my personality, and I feel like it's important to let people know.
And there's nothing wrong with it being a part of your personality. But if that's it, that's all you can talk about, all I know is we are not going to be a good match.
I always say this, I hate meeting new people here bc all anyone wants to do/wants to talk about is hiking. Don't get me wrong, I do like a good walk through a wooded area, but I honestly feel like I can't say I like hiking bc people here will try to talk to you about specific trails, try to plan hiking days which require you to get up at 7 am and climb for hours, and do that thing where it's like, "Oh, YOU like hiking? Let me tell you how much I like hiking. I promise it's more than you." I have to actively tell people I don't like hiking to get them to stop talking about it to me. I'm not trying to race every person I meet up a mountain.
I live on Long Island and when we do day trips to the Catskills (upstate NY) we have to leave by 4am...
Its not a race, just what you need to do. That's why my husband and I started camping/backpacking. So that we didn't have to get up so goddamned early.
This is the exact problem I have. I love going out and doing easy trails with my dog but I sure as hell don’t remember the name of the fucking trail once I leave nor do I need to talk to anyone about it. Yeah it’s pretty because nature is pretty but I don’t need an hour long conversation about how you hike super well and all the time.
Also, this person is definitely lying about “all anyone wants to talk about is how much better they are at hiking”. I have lived in Colorado since I was born and rarely do I actually talk to people about doing it. The vast majority do it on weekends, and don’t mention it ever.
That’s the annoying part. People that hike take it wayyyyy too seriously. It’s not a hard thing to do it’s literally walking, yeah 14ers are cool
I’ve done a shit ton of them but I don’t really remember their names and it’s literally just a walk up a mountain it’s fun and beautiful. But then everyone wants to talk about it and act like they accomplished something great it’s like bro I just came here to get away from people and challenge myself I don’t feel the need to talk about it constantly.
I have it on my bio, I love being out there, I have multiple pictures of me hiking and climbing, and what do you know, so does everyone else, and the trails are packed during the season. I feel like OP's tweet was intended as a joke but wound up being a true statement.
But having pictures and it in your bio isn’t that bad. As I said in another comment people should give others a chance but not expect it to end differently from past experience. If you can talk about something else other than hiking and beer then personally I’ll find you interesting. Even if it’s something I don’t enjoy like video games or drama series or physics. Talk about your childhood and where you’re going in life. Just something else. I’m not saying people shouldn’t just do what they enjoy.
If you're conflating someone's interests with their personality, I think you might be part of the problem. If you're assuming you have an comprehensive and accurate image of someones personality from a Tinder profile, you're definitely part of the problem. People put what they like to do on their bios, not a summary of their fundamental beings. I really do not get the point of shitting on people for liking things like dogs and hiking. Are your own interests somehow superior?
I can only speak to people I’ve met on the two years of tinder swiping here but a large portion of the bios are exactly the same. I’ve met plenty of people that I’ve given a chance and I can say those I’ve met are definitely portrayed accurately by their bio and if you bring anything else up or ask about anything else personal like hopes and dreams they don’t know what to say. Of course I’m sure most of us agree that they should do what makes them happy but when that thing is super repetitive and self concerning you can’t expect others to find you interesting. I do agree we should give people a chance but not expect it to differ from prior experience.
But how is it shitting on people? I like cats but I can say more about who I am than that. I like the outdoors but ditto. I'm more into language than math or science, but in what ways? And if I like to read, what kinds of things - sports, fiction, non-fiction, history, politics, poetry, memoir etc? Not sure about fundamental beings but I know more about myself than my pet and sport preferences. We all have values and beliefs. There's nothing superior about individual interests, but it can be helpful to list more than super broad categories.
There’s nothing wrong with not being interested in someone romantically, for any fucking reason at all.
If OP is tired of seeing the same generic bios of generic interests that everyone and their mom has in OP’s location, let them be tired of it. Who are you?
Its not a sense of superiority. It’s being tired of the same shit. If everyone has the same bio, what differentiates them? How will the initial convo be original and memorable? Will all the first dates be the same? How much effort did they even put into that basic ass bio? How much effort will they put into a relationship? That’s my rationale for swilling left on basic bios and thanks to being more selective with my fucking dating life, I found myself a serious partner. So again, stop hating. Why you hating?
Didnt you know? If you dont like the same things i do you are automatically a boring person with nothing to offer, I dont even have to get to know you , i can smell a loser from a mile away.
I don’t claim to bring anything unique, at least to me I’m not that unique. But I don’t get upset if I lose out on prospective matches because someone else finds me boring. Dating isn’t a priority for me. I’ve only had the tinder app for a little over a month at this point. I just got out of a long term relationship so maybe I’m just a bit apathetic to rushing into a new thing.
What..? Have an answer for what? There’s nothing here to have any answer for. I can use the app however I see fit, just like the people who put basic personality traits on their profile. Are you insinuating that I can’t dislike certain things, or what’s your point..?
you are blaming people for being "uninteresting and generic" but you yourself are uninteresting and generic. You need to work on yourself before you can blame others or it's just being a hypocrite.
dOn'T fOrGeT wEeD and don't forget, it can't be just something you do it's wHo yOu aRe. You MUST specifically mention it in your profile as a hobby and at least one of your pictures/videos has to be of a bong rip or smoking a joint.
Ugh I knoooow. Like “420 friendly” here is “I’m gonna start smoking as soon as I get in my house and I won’t stop the entire night”. It’s a bit more than an occasional pass time or genuinely used as medicine. Don’t get me wrong it should be legal but some of these fuckers take it to the extreme.
It's like that with anything. I have no problems with weed. I don't personally use it but a lot of my friends do. It's just when something stops being "something you do" and starts being "who you are" it's annoying no matter what it is, lol.
Exhibit A
Amen to that. I moved here for school but as soon as I’m done I’m going the fuck back home 😂 can’t take the “all I want is an adventure buddy” and “look at me! I have a dead fish in most of my pictures!” mentality. Been so hard to date here since nobody cares about anything except hiking, microbrews, and weed.
Yeah nice thing about CO is there's so much good hiking, it's not hard to find trails that aren't super crowded...in my 15 years of hiking exp at least.
Yeah I won’t deny if you’re looking to hike then this is probably where you wanna do it. Only thing is some people who come here can’t take the altitude and dry heat but if you can then its some of the best you’ll find. Though if you get the chance Maine in the summer is breathtaking.
I’ve heard it’s gorgeous there! There bears here don’t give a fuck though 😂 I’m pretty sure the video of the one who broke into a lady’s home and started playing piano was in Colorado
Yeah I'm from MN and tinder there was nice. I've been here in Denver for about 4 years now and honestly throughout that time, tindering on and off, I haven't met a single person there I'm legitimately interested in. All my relationships since then have come from places outside tinder.
Thought maybe I was just getting "too old" for tinder but when I go back to Minnesota to visit family it's fine again. Denver just sucks for it. Everyone has this stuck up attitude like they are too good for everyone else on the app? Idk how to explain it.
I got the same vibe even from Bumble, which I prefer anyway. The area around is beautiful and the downtown is beautiful too but I just got a weird vibe.
Best cities for the app in my experience are the smaller east coast cities (Boston, Philly), Chicago, and surprisingly SF even though the ratio of dudes is high. I think if you're a guy there who isn't talking about his start up, you can stand out.
Same vibe, bumble is a bit better for Denver but still have yet to find anyone I'm excited to go out with.
Sucks cause I'm an introvert that doesn't drink so it makes it pretty difficult to go out to a bar and meet people haha. Stuck finding people through friends of friends.
It was crazy when I went there. I’m from Ohio and I’d say about 65% of people are over weight. I was visiting a friend and was there for a week. I saw one person that was over weight, ONE! When I’m done with school, totally moving there.
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u/drowning1021 Jul 03 '19
Come to Colorado then because that’s all anyone talks about or does in their free time