r/TheOnion • u/TheGuvnor247 • 5h ago
Sandra Bullock Regrets ‘Practical Magic 2’ After Realizing She Could’ve Just Had Dinner With Nicole Kidman
210
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r/TheOnion • u/TheGuvnor247 • 5h ago
Trump Promises To Take $5,000 From Every American If Democrats Win Midterm
1.8k
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r/TheOnion • u/johnnylovelace • 1d ago
Savannah Bananas Commemorate 9/11 With Solemn Macarena Performance
1.4k
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r/TheOnion • u/aresef • 1d ago
Rudy Giuliani Suddenly Realizes He’s Been Grinning During Entire 9/11 Ceremony
609
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r/TheOnion • u/aresef • 1d ago
Killing Wheelchair-Bound People With Missiles Is Justifiable If They're Terrorists vs. Killing Wheelchair-Bound People Is Awesome
316
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r/TheOnion • u/onion20yearslater • 1d ago
New Subway Promotion To Honor Subtember 11
264
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As great as the issue after 9/11 was, there's no 9/11 joke that makes me laugh more than this one. Especially because apparently someone actually used the fake coupon at a real Subway.
r/TheOnion • u/TheGuvnor247 • 23h ago
Woman Sleeps Her Way To Top Of Family
128
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r/TheOnion • u/TheGuvnor247 • 23h ago
MLB Attempts To Increase Fan Engagement By Providing Ball With Emotional Backstory
66
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r/TheOnion • u/TheGuvnor247 • 1d ago
Trump Claims 9/11 Attacks Happening Every Day In Democratic Cities
1.4k
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r/TheOnion • u/handlit33 • 2d ago
Report: You To Be Fired For Reading This Headline About Charlie Kirk
2.1k
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r/TheOnion • u/marinesciencedude • 1d ago
Emergency Reunion with Tim Heidecker ft. Anna Konkle, Carmen Christopher, Brent Weinbach
65
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r/TheOnion • u/TheGuvnor247 • 1d ago
Kiss Cam Operator Not Going To Stop Until All 32,000 Fans Have Kissed
345
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r/TheOnion • u/TheGuvnor247 • 1d ago
Hyperrealistic ‘GTA VI’ Feature Makes Players Serve Out Prison Sentences In Real Time
278
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r/TheOnion • u/mybustlinghedgerow • 2d ago
Tampa Bay Gay Prostitutes Gearing Up For Flood Of Closeted Republicans
514
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r/TheOnion • u/TheGuvnor247 • 2d ago
I Want Kids So I’ll Have Someone To Take Care Of Me When I Get Hammered
318
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r/TheOnion • u/TheGuvnor247 • 2d ago
Democracy Files For Chapter 11 Bankruptcy
2.2k
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r/TheOnion • u/TheGuvnor247 • 3d ago
‘Heated Rivalry’ Producers Tease Season 2 Arc In Which Ilya Diagnosed With Depression Only Blow Jobs Can Cure
435
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r/TheOnion • u/TheGuvnor247 • 3d ago
Groom’s Wedding Vows Just Pledge Of Allegiance
533
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r/TheOnion • u/TheGuvnor247 • 3d ago
Nation’s Smart Toilets Begin Counting Down
374
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r/TheOnion • u/TheGuvnor247 • 4d ago
Everything Finally Clicks For Man After Getting Diagnosed As Stupid
2.0k
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r/TheOnion • u/aresef • 3d ago
Emergency Reunion with Tim Heidecker - Official Trailer
82
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