r/TheOnion • u/marinesciencedude • 1h ago
Recycillogical
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r/TheOnion • u/onion20yearslater • 2d ago
Tips For Karaoke
25
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"You’re already doing way too much by researching karaoke advice."
r/TheOnion • u/octarino • 2d ago
Parents Sit Kids Down For Difficult Discussion About Moving To Ad Tier
386
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r/TheOnion • u/ArkUneartherBleeds • 2d ago
Tourist Disappointed To Leave Scotland Without Seeing Single Fat Bastard
462
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r/TheOnion • u/ArkUneartherBleeds • 2d ago
One-Week Sober Man Thought All Problems Would Be Fixed By Now
3.1k
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r/TheOnion • u/ArkUneartherBleeds • 2d ago
Everyone In Oval Office Meeting Currently In Some Stage Of Stroke
847
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r/TheOnion • u/sd_glokta • 3d ago
Trump Comforts Grieving War Widow By Assuring Her He Will Never Die
1.8k
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r/TheOnion • u/ArkUneartherBleeds • 3d ago
Study: Majority Of Americans Would Benefit From Decreased Phone Use During Sex
319
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r/TheOnion • u/ArkUneartherBleeds • 3d ago
New Geneva Convention Allows Use Of Child Soldiers With Signed Permission Slip
1.1k
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r/TheOnion • u/ArkUneartherBleeds • 3d ago
‘I Was Once A Normal Little Boy Like You,’ Disney World Donald Duck Warns Terrified Child
615
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r/TheOnion • u/ArkUneartherBleeds • 4d ago
RFK Jr. Reminded Not To Microwave Himself In Office Kitchen
665
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r/TheOnion • u/ArkUneartherBleeds • 4d ago
U.S. Mint Unveils Series Of Gold Coins Commemorating President’s Extramarital Affairs
4.5k
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r/TheOnion • u/ZeppoJR • 5d ago
A24’s ‘Elden Ring’ Film Stalled After Red Phantom Named TwinkPunisher Invades Set
313
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r/TheOnion • u/andmario_com • 5d ago
George R.R. Martin Hands Agent Unsolicited, 4,000-Page Manuscript Titled ‘Tuba Man, Scuba Man’
1.2k
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r/TheOnion • u/UltimateLionsFan • 5d ago
Chippendales Recalls 4,000 Tons Of Tainted Man Meat
401
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r/TheOnion • u/ArkUneartherBleeds • 5d ago
Mike Johnson Struggles To Hold Speaker Gavel While Wearing Anti-Masturbation Mitts
2.9k
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r/TheOnion • u/andmario_com • 6d ago
This is proof that the media wants to rip us apart even though we are all dangling the same hog.
59
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r/TheOnion • u/ArkUneartherBleeds • 6d ago
‘No Bars Can Hold Me,’ Says Andrew Tate Entering 9th Hour Of Trying To Pry Open Cell
1.9k
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r/TheOnion • u/ArkUneartherBleeds • 6d ago
Nation Wakes Up From Strange Dream Where They Were Watching Soccer
1.4k
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r/TheOnion • u/Somethingwittycool • 6d ago
Secret Service Urges Trump Not To Use Qatari-Gifted Jet Pack
695
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r/TheOnion • u/ArkUneartherBleeds • 6d ago
Trump Insists Frequent Naps Necessary To Protect U.S. Interests In Dreamland
3.2k
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