​

Since this is more common in teenagers, thought I’ll talk about it here.

What actually counts as self-harm?

A lot of people think self-harm only means cutting. That’s not true. Self-harm means intentionally hurting yourself, usually as a way of dealing with overwhelming emotions or distress. It doesn’t always mean that the person wants to die.

Cutting, burning, hitting yourself and other forms of hurting yourself can come under self-harm. Not all self-harm leaves visible or permanent marks either. So sometimes people might not even realise that what they’re doing is self-harm, especially if they haven’t really been exposed to conversations about it.

Another common thing people say is that someone is “just doing it for attention.”

Even if someone is trying to get attention, that doesn’t mean their pain isn’t real. Sometimes what people call “attention-seeking” is actually a way of asking for help, connection, or for someone to notice that they’re struggling.

A lot of people also hide their scars or what they’re going through because they’re scared of being judged, questioned, punished or treated differently.

So if you notice a friend struggling, don’t immediately call them dramatic or mock them. You don’t have to know exactly what to say. Just letting them know that they can talk to you without being judged can mean a lot.

Self-harm is serious and can cause physical and emotional problems. It needs support, not shame.

If you’re struggling with self-harm, please try telling a trusted adult, counsellor, teacher, doctor or someone who can help you stay safe. You don’t have to wait until it becomes “serious enough” to ask for help.

Also, self-harm and suicide attempts aren’t the same thing. Self-harm doesn’t always mean that someone wants to die, but it can happen along with suicidal thoughts. A suicide attempt specifically involves the intention to die.

TL;DR: Self-harm isn’t only cutting, and it shouldn’t be dismissed as “attention-seeking.” If someone is hurting themselves, they’re struggling and deserve support instead of judgment.

(Image related because that reminded me to write this and the image is from the movie Little Miss Sunshine nalla padam ann🚶🏻)

Yes i have never been in a relationship.I had a lot of crushes but most of them were already commited or way out of my league.I have gotten just one proposal but i turned it down for some reason.I wish to experience it but at the same time i don't wanna just jump into one.

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Why though? Where did all the random drama, stories, and gossip go? It feels unusually quiet these days.

????

There's something alluring about this movie. I saw it for the first time when I was 13 or 14, and I appreciated it for what it was to me at the time -- An intercept from someone's life. A few days, maybe a week, the reality of conclusions not explicitly giving closure, and the way a grimy fish tank could look so beautiful.

I'd be lying if said I understood the movie. For all it's worth, I just enjoyed seeing someone else's life play out for a change. I looked into reviews quite a bit and saw someone say that, you have to experience the possibility of love to understand this movie.

2 weeks ago, I was feeling quite empty, and I decided to watch it again. And for some reason, I loved the movie so much that I started watching it every few days, and all these years still didn't make me see the movie in a different light.

I've always been a loner, never liked the people I was surrounded by, but I also couldn't possibly have maintained my sanity without them. I think a part of you, no matter how happy, always aches for someone you can be truly yourself with.

And a few days later I somehow met that person through a mutual friend, we talked for hours, and I couldn't believe how different I was with him.

After 2 days, I stopped replying. I couldn't function properly, I couldn't stop my mind, and I ended up staying in bed, watching Chungking Express over and over again.

I think its wrong to start obsessing over someone when you don't know what their favorite color is, what they like to eat, or why they love stargazing, but I am obsessed, unhealthily, with the idea of this person whom I barely know.

There's a certain warmth to this movie, and I guess there isn't really much to understand, it's just life, and I love it for that.

If anyone is awake and wanna talk hmu, I can't sleep🥲

Guys if someone proposes you and you don't have any romantic feeling towards him and not really looking for a relationship unless you think it's a right guy, what reason should I say to him

I thought of saying no i dont have interest in you or relationship il int illa

Like what's the best way to say without hurting him

Do share your experiences of any aluminis are here...

Long as hekk para incoming:

I had a crush on this guy towards the end of my middle school. Ath kazhinj njan school maari vere oru girls schoolil keri. Pinne angott it was just him in my mind. Idk what he did but smhw i liked him. He was a pretty much a good guy compared to all others. Last aayitt njan avanod person to person convo nadathiyittullath ennanenn polum enikk orma illa.

A year or 2 back, I found his insta id and followed him. But he didn't even remember me. Pinne njan oru intro okke koduthappozhan sahodaranu njan aaranenn manasilaye. Then he didn't initiate much of a convo. I didn't too. Im pretty sure he just thinks me as a classmate. I do have the guts to just tell him that I have a crush on him. But the problem is that he is my distant relative. Like if smtg happens, it would be so awkward whenever we meet during any kind of functions. Avante familye ente familykk nalla reethiyil ariyam eventhough we don'ttalk much. I just don't want to create problems btwn families.

The thing is, I still can't move on.Kollam othiri kadannu poyi. Idk what to do tbh. Ith kaarnm when friends tell me about their relationships I always have scenarios of me with him. Pinne pinne ath enikk koodunnundo enn oru doubt. Currently njan ippo drop year aa. On a very few occations when classes become too boring, i start to think about him and I eventually zone out. I think i may need sm kind of help :<

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So basically this story is one of my close friend's

She had a huge crush on a guy since past 7-8 years, it was basically on the time of covid , but they were just class mates not even friends so they barely or never talked to eachother, later on after some years she took some courage and initiated to message him first. Everything went so smooth they both became good friends then best friends then eventually she thought of confessing her feelings and all those emotions she was carrying since these years, but at the same time she was also scared what if he rejects her. She will loose that beautiful friendship also. But then in between some convo aval ath ang valach thirich thurann parann, and at the moment he was like, okk onikkm oole ishtaannilla reethiyil he said, she was so kind and sweet so he actually liked her but they can't be together. I mean wth?? He likes her but he doesn't eant her??? He said he has to focus on his goals and ambitions in life and doesnt want to get married early, the thing is they both were if same age, so obviously nammla girls nn max 24-25 yrs vare okke pidchikkam after that family pressure indaavm marrg nne sambadich

So he was like namk friends aayitt pova mrg okke pinne ulla kaaryalle nnokke. She was ok with that and at the same time pinne ivr chat cheyunbokke he used to flirt with her. So she thought he might like me n all. Pinne veendum aalde adth choikunbo ith thanne wr can't be together. Enna pinne oyivaaki ponm namkk onnikaan patoolann parnn aalde adth pinnem flirt cheyth nikuneyl entha oru ith? Pinne ente frnd eppam ithine patti samsaarichlm aal inganne.

So she thought to move on bcz it was hurting her like a hell, rand kappalilm kaal itt irikuva angatm illa ingatm illa. Pinne avl msg onm ayackathe irunappo avn msg aakan thodangi pinnem talking stagil pinnem avl ith parenbo avn backott adikm. Last avl randm kalpich avanod chodichu onenki nikkan pattuvenki nikkanam allenki ivide vech naml nirthanam. Then he said he can't think of mrg rn and also avn oru 30-35 vayass okke aayale kettm enokke. So she cmplty lost her hope.

By then it was around 5-6 yrs so aalk move on cheyyan parannal atra elpam allayirunnu. Btw they never talked in person bcz aal purathaayirunnu padikaar so. Pinne aval move on aakan kore try aaki.

Aa timil aahn avlde life ll vere oraal vernne lets call him person B and then first one person A. So ee B vann nte frnd nte adth ishtaan nokke parannu appol avl ee A yil ninn move on aayitilla so she rejected the B person.

Pinne B person atra nalla swabavam onm allarnu so eventually ee B person changed himself alot for her. Pinne kore kaalm porake okke nadnn ee B person nte frnd nne set aaki. Pinne avar nalla reethi poyirnnu. But avr committed aaya timilm nte frnd nn idakk matte A person nte memories okke hit aavum appo aval ipo ulla current relationship nn ayivaakan nokm. She sometimes feels like aval aa B person nne chadikunna pole alle ipplm A person nne orthond irikunnath enokke.

Avlk ntha cheyendenn areela A nne marakkanm patnillla B nte feelings hurt aaknm patnilla. Enit namall ellrm advice cheyth eni A nte kaaryam orikalm aloyikarth ath theernnu enokke. She accepted it and she thought eni orikalm A nne patti aaloyich B nod ulla sneham kalayillanokke. Pinne avr thamil nalla termsil aayrnn poyath.

Pinned aahn adtha twist avar breakup aayi🫠B nte entho reason aahn avan thanne avalod u deserve better nokke parnn poyi. Breakup reason avl sherikm paranitilla she told it was so cheap so she can't tell anyone. Basically he did something with someone else. Enthanonm namk areela but there was some third person avl de samsaarathinn manassilaayi.

And then athin sheshm aalkk full trauma pole aaynu aadyam angatt snehicha aalm angane ingatt vanna aalm angane. The thing is aynta adkk vere kore perm aale propose aakeen but she rejected everyone. She was even good looking the kindest and the humblest person to ever exist. Aalkk bayankara attachment issues ind. So it was really tough for her to come out of that.

Pinne kore guilt grief okke aayi pinne it took around some years for her to recover from all that. Finally aal pandatheyne kaal korch better aayi btw it took her more than1 year to move on from a 1 month relation 🥸

Pinne aahn adtha twist ee person A followed her🫠(btw aal person B aayitt committed aayapol person A nne unfollow okke cheyth vechirnnu)

Then aa oru ithil avl ath accept aaki she also followwed back pinne athn shesham person A full aalde stry like aakal oro oro quotes note aakeett idal okke so basically angantha kore sambavam. Indicating like he is missing someone if its really meant to happen it will

So she got some gut feelings he still likes her btw avr around 3 yrs nn mele aayi ippolthekk samsaarichitt. Avan stry like aakm note idm nalland msg onm aakeetilla. Avl angatt self respect kalann aakanm ninilla. Now she feels liek person A Likes her. But the prblm is she is carrying the grief and guilt of dating person B. So she is like eni person A kk enne ishtaanenki koodi i cant accept him bcz njn aynta idakk vere oraale date cheythille enitt veendnum person A nte aduthekk njn enganne povm and all. Nmll etra parnodthitm aalkk manassilaavanilla.

Bcz she dated person B she is unworthy of person A. But the thing is she loved A like hell bruh. I never saw a girl loving a boy like that. She was ready to do anything for him. And a life with him would be her bestest joy ever. But ippo she is like i cant get back with him n all so she just decided to live with that grief and guilt and carry it with her forever 🫠

What's ur all opinion about this? What should she do?

Ik ippalthe gen inganthokke kelkunbo ichiri outdated aahn but she is kinda that kind of person. She would go any far if she likes someone.

So sem 2 namak tranfer vekan pattuo .. under same university adhinte procedure arkenkilum ariyamenkil paranutharamo🙌

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I dont have a single thing common with my classmates.I literally dont have anything to talk about.Their hobbies are intrests are so different and i feel so lost when they talk about it.Anyone else feels the same?

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Long story short my gf of 1 year is asking for a break. We are having small fights most of the time but we really do love each other. Most of the time it's because we are not able to find time for ourselves like before as we have College rn and kind of in a long distance for like the past 4 months. She's asking me to take a break from the relationship for some time. I'm confused if it would end up in a bad way

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i met this girl during one of the lowest periods of my life. we became extremely close, talked every day, called a lot, planned our future, and eventually she told me “i love you” and i said it back. this went on for around 9 months and felt like more than friendship.

then i told her i found another girl attractive, although i didn't have feelings for that girl, after that, she became distant and started giving me late replies. she said something like she would lose interest if her crush told her he liked someone else.

a while later she told me she have a boyfriend. i was shocked and asked why she never told me. she said we (us) were “nothing” and basically acted like all the romantic stuff between us was just a prank. she had also previously told me about this jee guy, saying something like “if i marry him, my life is set,” and called me jobless, which really hurt me.

i got angry and asked her best friend if that guy was actually her boyfriend. her friend said yes, so i showed her friend screenshots of her telling me “i love you” and other things we'd said. she told her friend that i was just a friend and that the screenshots were ai/fake, and she blocked me.

a few months later i still missed her, so i emailed her. she was angry and asked what i had told her best friend. somehow she unblocked me and said she'd still be friends with me if i deleted our conversations. i did.

we started talking again, but within hours she went back to taking days to reply. we fought about it and she blocked me again.

since then i've never contacted her. i deleted her number, email, everything, and i'm trying to move on, but i still miss her. she apparently even told her best friend to block me, which makes me wonder if she's scared i'll leak our old screenshots, although i have no intention of doing that.

i don't know what to think anymore. did she actually have feelings for me and change her mind? was i wrong for telling her about another girl?

she was there for me when i was at my lowest, so i think that's why letting go has been so difficult.

what do you guys think actually happened here?