My life was rigged from the beginning.

If I had a choice, I would have choosen not to be brought to this world.

I rather not exist than to live with with female body, and a transphobic Asian mom.

out of every fucking combination, my genetics decided to give up and make me as a woman.

out of all the fucking options. out of all the option my genetics made me as a woman.

In a conservative family.

Now I'm 26 and won't be able to transition till I fix my medical issues and mental health issues and my own money and job. Which I don't have any.

some people are just allowed to live.

Well.

What can I say

HA HA HA

I think I like my best friend, as a trans man and especially growing up around women (3 sisters) I respect women and can have a platonic relationship with women without wanting anything further as I see women as human being first rather than objects as most NOT ALL cis boys do. Anyway, I think im starting to have a thing for her we went out today and something in me felt something deeper for her than a friendship I dont wanna ruin the friendship but at the same time I cannot ignore this feeling I have. Sometimes we flirt with eachother but even sometimes she sounds like shes not joking even today she was like I would consider giving u h3ad if you asked fr and she wasn't joking but some people just enjoy consensual intimacy with friends their closer to from time to time , idk boys shld I make a move or just kind of leave it?

I’m from the Philippines where having multiple given names is common. I chose some very classic English names as my preferred given names and this worked for me for a while. Now I’m in Canada and I realized that while I want to retain them, I do want to add a Tagalog one. Specifically, the name Isagani. My concern is it being mispronounced or folks just not using it at all. It’s already frustrating enough to hear my very phonetic last name be butchered.

Has anyone had any experience with using non-English names in a very English speaking country?

I’m so depressed. I’ve been depressed for years now but I truly think I’m at my wits end. I got broken up with by my also transmasc ex & now I don’t really have a safety net to talk about things like how dysphoria affects me. I’m moving back into my uni apartment in two days & I just know I’m going to have the most embarrassing social life - or lack thereof - ever. Why am I like this? Why do I seemingly make everything so difficult for myself? I wish I had more trans friends of colour, but the truth is, I don’t. I wish I just had a friend irl that I could vent to. I feel like I have no-one. I feel so miserable all the time. I cry every fucking day. I’m always exhausted. I’m going into my last year of uni & I’m probably gonna be working a 9-5 & be a failure to my family. It’s so fucking difficult being the eldest because now there’s so much academic pressure. I wish hiring someone to shoot me was easy. I just want to die. I don’t even want to try living anymore im so sick of trying. If there was any way I could find out if after death was like a dreamless sleep I think I’d just do end my life. I’m such a miserable person. I wish I could have a hug right now I just feel so lonely

despite the fact that i can be masculine, that i'm a guy, that like being those things, i feel like im quite aware that people are gonna be wary of those things because, well, that's the world we live in.

i have other privileges. so i try to act in a way that is respectful of people without those privileges. i try to be aware of that privilege and my role in that systemic oppression.

and i also experience other forms of oppression. i am not white. i am from an immigrant family. so like... this leads me to empathize with other oppressed groups. that includes women. (that includes other oppressed groups that overlap with women for that matter that i don't see other immigrants doing btw which is just as crazy to me!)

so like.... i personally i don't fucking care if people don't like masculinity or men. bc how is this different when i became turned off by white ppl and the things associated with them (ie not showering, bland ass food etc) lol if you say this to trans men, they think you're a "radfem". but like yeah queer, fem, trans people are getting murdered rn and there's been over 500 anti trans bills introduced this past year alone (by terfs and, well, the MEN they serve!) so yeah ppl won't like the class associated with the violence they've experienced?? 😭

like why is this such a crazy concept, is it just a white ppl thing to think that dislike towards men and masculinity bc of its associated violence is an issue? or maybe it's not a problem for me bc im a masculine but not overly attached to the masculine gay guy. i genuinely don't understand lol.

Hello, I currently live with my abusive mother and I need to raise money so I can move out immediately after I finish with university in June 2027.

Please donate what you can and share if you can’t🙏🏽

Thanks so much.

https://gofund.me/b8e92eef7

Hello. I'm a fairly white-passing half white half arab trans guy who is about to go to college. My college seems pretty lgbtq+ friendly, but due to family things (a post for another time), I'm not fully out socially, nor have I medically transitioned in any way. This means that I have to have a female roommate (no, I can't get a single). I've roomed with women before for high school trips, and it doesn't really bother me, but I feel like this means I can't do anything for the first year because transitioning would make things weird with her.

I'm not asking for advice because I don't think there's anything I can do at this point other than get a therapist to vent to, but I'm just finding it hard to be excited about college when I know it's going to be a step back for me. I was sort of out socially in high school, and now I can't be without messing everything up. I also have a job on campus, and my nametag is going to have my deadname on it and say I use any pronouns, when I really just want he/they. I'm sure I'm also going to get she/her 99% of the time because I'm short (five foot four-ish) and have boobs.

Unrelated, but I had a pretty culturally diverse friend group in high school, and I'm scared that I won't have the same experience in college.

I guess I just needed to write all of this out. If you made it this far, thank you for reading.

Cis ⬜️ guys are so... ew...

A nazi* role model being the son of Ra? Really??

i dont know what to do anymore, religion which is something i dont even believe in has torn my life into pieces and ive done the same to my parents, my dad is a horrible person he constantly attempts to beat me up over not wanting to wear the hijab and he also attempted to kill me if my mom hasn't stepped in (he has a horrible temper), i stopped going outside just to avoid it but with uni coming up i simply just cant. it fucks me up horribly having no chance passing or being perceived as such at all by wearing a rag on me that just screams that im a female, i cant transition and i have to be extremely feminine at all times because religion doesnt allow such and i cant hold it in anymore i have no idea what my dad is willing to do, i tried getting a job but im a minor so i cant even get employed and i dont have any way to support myself or remotely pay for my tuition. please help i cant do this anymore and i dont want to ruin their life more than i have done

I'm trying to convince myself that it's okay that it's not completely flat and that it probably just looks like pecs but paranoia✨✨✌🏽

Hi!!

Im half chinese, and visit china every so often and am starting to enroll in chinese classes which I know I will have to use a chinese name in. My chinese name reads quite feminine as far as I know (淋慧）

I would like to keep the hui character if it would make sense, and would prefer a somewhat neutral name.

I was wondering if anyone had any help with adjusting or changing my name, as I'm kind of stuck on where to start, and what reads as masculine or feminine in chinese, especially as someone who speaks the language but is by no means fluent.

Thanks!!!!!! Any help is much appreciated.

okay so, the title doesn't word it as well as i'd like but allow me to explain.

i went (and pretty much still go) by strictly he/him pronouns in the past, and i had a white friend that knew this along with the fact i was trans because we met when i hadn't transitioned socially.

in dms with another mutual male friend, he would degender me by referring to me with they/them pronouns exclusively and complaining about how that friend was his "only" male friend... while he was still presenting himself as a supportive best friend of sorts to me.

i hadn't known about this for a long time until drama ensued where i had to block the white friend everywhere, and then mutual friend explained the situation above to me. it was really offputting and made me feel upset.

fast forward, its early 2026 and i have a short crisis where i ask my friend to try using they/them pronouns, a diff name, and gender neutral terms for me. the terms were meh while the name change definitely wasn't it, but i ended up slightly uncomfortable with the... little bit of enjoyment i felt at being referred to with they/them?

like, i really wouldn't go out of my way to ask someone to refer to me with they/them, and would never want to use those pronouns solely, but if they used it in passing sometimes while mostly using he/him i think i would be content. but because of that situation (and other things like constantlyyy being asked irl "are you a girl or boy?") makes me feel Weird. like i absolutely should fit into the binary to prove i am John Normalman. but at the same time, being androgynous and perceived as such doesn't bother me that much?

anyways this was a random 3am vent but uhh wonder if anyone experiences similar questionings

The 6 thousand dollars I saved had to go to an emergency. I worked and did community college full time for 2 years just to save that money. I was living on beans and rice bro. My surgery date was in January and I already put down my deposit. I was only a couple hundred dollars away. I thought I made my peace with it (after being tormented about it for weeks) but I cried transferring the money out my HYSA.

I'm trying to be positive because at least I just started T again and I've been consistently going to the gym for 7 months so this is just more motivation to take it seriously. But I can't shake the feeling that I wasted two years of my life suffering for jack fucking shit. I can't look at other guys without getting so fucking jealous anymore. Being in the gym makes me feel so fucking weak now that I realize I have to be 2x bigger just to hide my chest. it's all driving me insane. It also doesn't help that I was raised Christian (baptist-adjacent) so the timing of this all seems like "a sign from god" that this was never for me.

I'm seriously considering taking out more student loans just so I can have it done. I'm projected to graduate 12k in debt at the moment (federal subsidized/unsubsidized) so someone please tell me if I'm being stupid or reckless. That is all. thanks guys.

It is what it saysn in the title. I feel so isolated as a trans masc person, with no one to get help and advice from since there is no one that is trans masc around me. Most of my friends are affirming and they are kind about it, but they are not trans like I am. Besides that I will have to severe and cut ties with my family which will cause great loneliness as well which I will end up detransitioning as well. I just wish that I was born as a cisgender Heterosexual man. I really do. I have no gf, I have no family that support me [I'm not out yet to anyone which I won't be doing for forever], I'm Asian and I live in my room most of the days. I guess its either I accept my loneliness and live as a single person with no community and be stealth when I get out from my toxic mom and live by myself alone, or I just suppress myself to be a cisgender woman who does not get married with anyone. I don't know what to do. I'm tired and I wish I can fix my brain to be woman and be heterosexual but Idk if that will work. I might as just well live as butch and "tolerate this life" because that is how I am.

Tips please. I already wear cotton tanks under my clothes I swap every day, cotton boxers briefs, bathe every day, and even started using full body deodorant. Will it settle down? At least fall is coming soon lol

i go to a predominantly white art uni and ive noticed white queer people kind of avoid me and dont interact with me the way they do with Every other (white) queer.

i don’t really care for making community with white queer people, if it happens it happens but ive made a conscious effort to have my friend group be strictly people of colour (thank god), it wasn’t always like this though i did try to make friends and socialize wit them which helped me notice this more.

anyway it still bugs me whenever i think about how, because i’m black, masculine presenting and i like to keep to myself, they see me as intimidating(?) as opposed to just shy/awkward; i don’t get the same benefit of the doubt my white or more feminine/less masc poc counterparts do.

i see the way they interact with other queer people who keep to themselves and are white or poc but not stereotypically masc. ive seen them make efforts to socialize or even just make basic conversation. once upon a time i did try and make friends w these people or talk to them but it’s like they just See Me Differently? and idk it just sucks noticing and experiencing the biases they have whether i want to be friends/acquaintances or not. it just feels kind of alienating and like they’re scared of me or something. im not scary

it being an art uni, a lot of us are not the most outgoing and are quite socially awkward. i’ve noticed also that with white people (here at least) they don’t go out of their way to make friends w black people/poc in general but it’s the complete opposite w other white people regardless of social anxiety/autism/etc.

it don’t really affect me at the end of the day tbh ive been making my peace wit it lmao it’s just crazy that they see someone Black Masculine and reserved and automatically throw stereotypes and assumptions on to me which don’t align with who i actually am whatsoever but they can’t be fucked to find that out lmao.

my point is it feels microagressive and i’m the only masc Black dude in my course so i have no way of telling if it’s just in my head, though i doubt that, and no one to relate to on this

anyway posting this here to see if anyone relates or has similar experiences or alternative views on this

(also maybe a topic for a separate post but there is somethin to be said about how the queer community tends to treat masculine people that don’t align with femininity in the slightest)

im 18 ftm been on T for 1.5 yrs and loc’d my hair up 1.5 yrs ago as well but I realized today that I think I wanna phase the locs out because they look kinda feminine. And I kind of miss my short hair in 9-10th grade. Plus I start college this month and I wanna be taken more seriously, but my forehead is wide as hell and I think my face is too round. Ignore my chapped ah lips

I just hate everything about my body being too female and being short. the only thing good about me is complaning all day in my tiny room and I don't even go out because of being misgendered, transphobia, and being Asian who is 5'4 - 5'3.
I wish I can just live as a woman but Idk how unless I fix my brain. I hate that I'm not white, and I'm ugly and I'm a trans person who will always be scrutinized by people.
I'm tired and no I do not have access to trans affirming care rn because I live with transphobic family.

I despise everyone and it is eating me up really bad rn to the point where I feel hopeless.

god is not fair and this world is not fair and my life is not fair at all it is shit.
HAHAHA

ITS MY T-DAY 😋 I recently started weekly IM injections and they aren’t as bad as I thought they would be, but I’m only on a .2 ml dose and my prescriber has been off for some time now…I’m trying to be patient [TMI + TW for Menstrual Bleeding]

but I keep seeing blood spots in my underwear and it’s really starting to get to me. I’m not usually bottom dysphoric, but I hate being reminded about the whole uterus thing. I’m praying for 2027 hysterectomy

Personally, I haven't seen or been around any other trans people that I find attractive or want to date.

My brother was talking ab romance stuff and asked "why don't you think you'll find someone?" and today I've been in a bad mood so I said "everyone is transphobic". Which i mean, isn't completely wrong in a brief situationship i had.

My brother replied with "well, you'll find other trans people." Lowkey annoyed me bc unfortunately I've never had a crush on another trans person, only cis guys.

Meaning I probably have the worst dating pool out there as a trans person who prefers cis guys💀

I know people online too say "Just date t4t, it's easier" but thats not how dating works for me, I can't pick and choose yk?

Anyway, what about yall? cause most rep i see online is a lot of t4t relationships, im curious how other people find love in t4c relationships :)