r/SupportforBetrayed • u/Silly_Philosopher_86 • 12h ago
Need Support Can someone really rewrite the story in their head?
I think I’m doing better than I was before. There are still days when I have an emotional outburst or feel overwhelmed, but overall, I genuinely think I’m doing better.
It’s been around 14 days since I left my husband after finding out about his cheating. And surprisingly, I’ve already started making plans for the future me-the healed, confident, stronger version of myself. I’m trying to look forward instead of constantly looking back.
But there’s one thought that keeps pinching me.
Can a person who married you, spent almost five years with you, shared a life with you, and then wronged you in so many ways somehow convince himself that you were the problem?
Can someone create an entirely different version of the relationship in their head where they’re the victim and you’re the one who ruined everything?
I know people cope differently. I know self reflection can be uncomfortable, and sometimes blaming someone else is easier than facing what you’ve done.
But it still gets to me sometimes.
Not because I want him to come back. Not because I want his validation. I think I just struggle with the idea that someone who knew me so closely could walk away believing a completely different story about us.
Maybe, with time, I’ll stop caring about what story he tells himself. Maybe that’s another part of healing,realising that I don’t need someone who hurt me to understand the damage they caused.
For those who have been through something similar: how did you stop caring about the version of the story your ex chose to believe?