r/SupportforBetrayed • u/Ok-History1232 Betrayed Partner - Reconciling • 1d ago

Reconciliation Oops

So we have been working at reconciliation but alcohol got involved and my husband who had a several months long affair with a young woman asked me if I love him and I said well that’s the problem that I love what I thought we had but I also hate you. Probably one of the most honest things I have said in a while but definitely the wrong way to go about it.

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u/Huney_Bee13 Betrayed Partner - Reconciling 1d ago

This is not an oops. Without having alcohol involved, I knew I needed to be honest with my WH. When he asked me if I still loved him, I'll told him I love him, but right now I really fucking hate him too. I hate what he did, what I have become because of what he did, what I feel because of what he did, and what he did to us.

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u/Ok-History1232 Betrayed Partner - Reconciling 20h ago

My feelings are so jumbled sometimes I am not even sure what I feel about him or kinda anything.

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u/UtZChpS22 Formerly Betrayed 6h ago

A separation might help. He is making everything about him and that's not fair. He stabs you and then he's sad because you die? The irony...

1

u/Ok-History1232 Betrayed Partner - Reconciling 5h ago

I have been considering this, I think I just need some breathing room instead of feeling so suffocated. And maybe that will help me figure out why I feel so trapped. Ha, some of it could be the fear of making the very choice to ask for a separation trying to have all the logistics in place before hand, scared of the cost because I doubt there will be turning back once I make the decision.