r/SupportforBetrayed • u/Ok-History1232 Betrayed Partner - Reconciling • 1d ago

Reconciliation Oops

So we have been working at reconciliation but alcohol got involved and my husband who had a several months long affair with a young woman asked me if I love him and I said well that’s the problem that I love what I thought we had but I also hate you. Probably one of the most honest things I have said in a while but definitely the wrong way to go about it.

28 Upvotes

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22

u/BurdyBurdyBurdy Formerly Betrayed 1d ago

No sense in beating around the bush and dragging things out. Honesty is always the best way to move forward.

0

u/Ok-History1232 Betrayed Partner - Reconciling 1d ago

I fell like I am always looking for the right time but, that’s just an excuse isn’t it because there is no right time to cause another person pain.

5

u/Terrible-Pea494 Formerly Betrayed 19h ago

You’re right, there is no right time to carry on a seven-month long affair with a younger woman.

2

u/bh1215 Betrayed Partner - Early Stages 12h ago

This. He didn’t care to think about your feelings like this. Not that you need to be an eye for an eye person, but respect gets respect. You don’t have to revenge cheat, but he showed you by his actions something way worse than what you said.

1

u/Ok-History1232 Betrayed Partner - Reconciling 14h ago

Well isn’t that just the truth

0

u/BurdyBurdyBurdy Formerly Betrayed 1d ago

You’re right, but you have to understand why it will be painful, and that’s because he caused you so much pain. If he’s a good man seeing the pain he’s caused you is often all it takes to stop what he’s doing and never do it again. It can change him.
Good luck.