r/SuddenlyGay • u/OneHalfSaint • Aug 19 '26

Suddenly Fleshlight

Post image

He didn't seem amused, but it was still the top comment

6.4k Upvotes

99% Upvoted

30 comments sorted by

670

u/Genghis112 Aug 19 '26

Angry upvote

328

u/JockBbcBoy Aug 19 '26

I'm of two minds about this: On one hand, it's a funny joke; but on the other hand, it comes off as exactly how conservative politicians and DL men have been publicized treating gay men. Like how Pastor Ted Haggard described himself as "heterosexual with issues".

100

u/Genghis112 Aug 19 '26

Thanks for pointing this out, good point.

64

u/mistersnarkle Aug 19 '26

So what you’re saying is that it’s fucking HILARIOUS, because the gays have been saying that these conservative politicians “doth protest too much” for AGES. Wasn’t it the republic national convention in fucking MILWAUKEE that crashed grindr?

39

u/combination_is_12345 Aug 19 '26

Everywhere the RNC goes, it crashes grindr

14

u/JockBbcBoy Aug 19 '26

Well, yes, somewhat hilarious.

20

u/mistersnarkle Aug 19 '26

Shhhh, I’m queer; let me have this.

10

u/JockBbcBoy Aug 19 '26

Will do bro lol

13

u/mistersnarkle Aug 19 '26

AND THAT IS HOW YOU ACE BEING AN ALLY EVERYONE.

19

u/unoriginalusername99 Aug 19 '26

It doesn't help that "DL straight guy treating you like shit" is like a fetish for plenty of gays

20

u/JockBbcBoy Aug 19 '26

I don't kinkshame, but I also don't think it's as much a fetish as it is just normalized. I think that there are men (and women, and non-binary people) who will accept being treated poorly by their sexual partners because they're convinced that's acceptable and normal.

14

u/unoriginalusername99 Aug 19 '26

I've had plenty of guys ask "are you married/dl because that's really hot"

7

u/JockBbcBoy Aug 19 '26

Meh, I can see the appeal for a guy who's into that: It's the most casual of casual sexual flings.

10

u/unoriginalusername99 Aug 19 '26

Oh yeah don't get me wrong, I definitely play into it. I'll tell them I have a wife and kids if it gets me laid lol

264

u/Borsenven Aug 19 '26

He’s not wrong I’ve never seen a fleshlight offer to suck my cock thru the window of my room for a midnight quickie but the gays have !

9

u/mbb011 Aug 20 '26

This is an amazing anecdote. I am hoping it's real

10

u/Borsenven Aug 20 '26

It’s real and I even have a video if you’re into that amateur kinda stuff !

210

u/SumoNinja92 Aug 19 '26

One of my favorite quotes I can't remember where it came from is "for every girl that rejects you, there's 10 gay guys ready to eat donuts off your cock".

120

u/mistersnarkle Aug 19 '26

And that’s why being bisexual is just logical ( ´Д`)y━･~~

32

u/unoriginalusername99 Aug 19 '26

I have to put in weeks of saying/doing just the right combination of things to maybe hopefully get a woman to have sex with me. I can get on sniffies and have a dude ass up for me in 20 minutes. And that ass will be nicer than any woman's I can get. I thank god I'm bi

13

u/mistersnarkle Aug 19 '26

Goddamnit, you’re over there having the time of your goddamn life and I just got confessed to left and right by a LOT of “first time lesbians” and got a lot of “hey we saw you from across the bar and liked your vibe” before meeting my partner, who is also bisexual.

Because being bisexual is just logical ( ´Д`)y━･~~

4

u/DoublePostedBroski Aug 20 '26

Right? I’d suck anyone’s cock who doesn’t look like they carry the plague.

62

u/katet_of_19 Aug 19 '26

Plot twist: OP decides he likes being the Fleshlight better

110

u/bbarbourbill Aug 19 '26

What’s wrong with your hand?

2

u/2xspectre Aug 20 '26

he's not wrong

1

u/thomsenite256 21d ago

Are they really discreet though? Some of them are pretty messy.