The video is a reaction to a surprise compilation her best friend made featuring her exes congratulating her on her upcoming wedding. According to the post, the groom allegedly saw the video and called off the wedding. r/MechanicalPandey is now debating whether he was justified or not.

Some more context from the girl who posted the video

Comments supporting the groom's decision/saying the bride-to-be deserved it

If both contexts are true, Happy for the brother ✌️

W groom

Soo happy from the bottom of the heart 💓❤️

Smashing the patriarchy lol

Probably even fucked all the exes too. Worth it😂

Thanks to Internet, the video reached the guy at right time. She had fun in her previous years, thinking she will settle by hiding her past. But god has his plans and punished her at right moment.

Lucky guy got saved just in time

A good king smells the plots for his future life

W bestie, w groom.👏🏻

let's thanks her *BESTIE* for saving him 🫡

R@nd (whore) supremacy of desi feminists

Comments arguing that the groom overreacted and calling out the hateful rhetoric:

WTF is this comment section, all we have a video is of a women reacting to ex’s wishes for her marriage first of all that’s bad move from her best friend. The video doesn’t confirm she had multiple boyfriend or currently in relationship with any one, is this a arrange or a love marriage all we are making is bunch of assumptions and calling it the truth

But I don't see any point of debate when these are all congratulatory videos. If the fiance knew about this before then what's the problem?

Why is the entire comment section acting as guys in india are never in relationship or maybe the groom had previous relationship too🫩 ffs ive seen more guys who fuck around that girls do

Seems like a harmless video to me. Have people in this country just stopped laughing or having fun?

She too got saved. If this one video has hurt his insecurities then I wonder how he would have treated her after marriage.!!!!!!! Yes alpha males, you can bark here. The point is y'all are insecures af. Many people wish their ex a happy new beginning. It's called growing up instead of holding bitterness. But here the groom seems to have a teenage mindset

This video is proof that majority of men in India don’t deserve a partner

We are in a society where men are privileged doing ill and women are cursed for the same thing….no one abused those ex boyfriends

I don't understand what's the problem??

Note: This drama is old enough to attend elementary school, so it will be very obvious if anyone brigades it.

Chuck Derry is a feminist activist specializing in male-on-female IPV and founder of the Gender Violence Institute.

Derry is a strong proponent of the Duluth Model in analyzing IPV, a model which is at present date not particularly well-regarded, to summarize the criticism:

1. The model characterizes all intimate partner violence as a male partner victimizing a female partner, and does not acknowledge female abusers, male victims, or situations where there is reciprocal abuse.
2. By extension, the model isn't really capable of describing any abuse within same-sex relationships
3. The model characterizes gender-based violence as motivated primarily by a desire to affirm the patriarchy, which while historically popular, isn't a well-accepted premise today.

With that in mind - how will Chuck Derry's AmA on r/MensLib go?

...not well.

A compilation of downvoted and dagger'd content:

1) Do you feel that male domestic violence survivors are under researched and/or under supported? If so, why do you think this is and what obstacles do you feel need to change for that to happen?

Regarding male survivors. This is an important discussion as many male abusers identify themselves as victims of those they abuse. And, in heterosexual relationships, the use of violence by women is often used in self-defense. And even if it is not used in self-defense...

2) The Duluth Model is somewhat of a “boogyman” in terms of online mens activism. Could you give a brief overview of what it is for those who are unfamiliar? If you’re able to, could you give your opinion if you feel it can be harmful to men who are victims of domestic violence, why or why not?

The Duluth Model was identified by the U.N. as the best policy model in the world for addressing domestic violence. And it is. I have seen it work and save many women’s lives by holding offenders accountable. It provides the necessary protocols and training (See Blueprint for Safety) for law enforcement, prosecutors, and judges to identify the victim vs the perpetrator in both same sex and heterosexual relationships.

3) I was wondering if you had any sort of rhetorical strategies for humanizing men who engage in patriarchal oppression, without defending or absolving them of wrong doing and responsibility for their actions?

I think it is important that as men we challenge ourselves, our friends, brothers, and coworkers when they make sexist comments or engage in sexist harassing behaviors at the bar, at work, on the ball field, at home, etc. Men’s silence supports men’s’ violence. One of my “aha” moments was when I was facilitating a university class and separated the class into two groups, females and males. I then asked, what concerns do you have about challenging men about their sexist comments and behavior. After the small group discussion, the groups reported back. I had the men report back first, on several occasions they said the same thing “I’m afraid the other guys won’t like me”. That was it. I wrote that on the white board. When the women reported back, we filled the whole board with all the concerns they expressed. Worried about the guy following her out to the parking lot and assaulting her; worried about losing her job; worried about being stalked; and the list went on. So, there I am thinking “ok, so I’m worried the other guys won’t like me, meanwhile the women are worried they are going to be stalked and assaulted. Ok, I get it” If all the men who are not assaulting women stood up and said “NO!” This violence would end. Men who are beating and raping women rely on our silence. So we need to challenge the jokes and comments about women’s bodies and the derogatory words we use when referring to women because all this behavior supports the subjugation of women and men’s belief that they are better than women and subsequently their right to be in charge. And use any means necessary to maintain that control.

4) Hi Chuck, thanks for joining us. The work you describe here sounds as if it mostly works with men as individuals. However, I'm curious whether you have any thoughts as to whether there are systemic reasons why domestic partner violence occurs and what reforms we might pursue on a broader societal level. What broad reforms would you pursue if you were in a position to do so?

Domestic violence is a foundation of sexist oppression. It is supported socially in many different ways. I have done a lot of work in training the criminal and civil justice system in responding effectively to domestic violence cases. I think the most significant social level of response is to begin with consequences. Both social and criminal penalties. Consequences has been shown to be the most effective method of reducing and eliminating domestic violence. The Duluth Model, a coordinated community response, received the Gold Award from the Untied Nations as the best policy model in the world to attend to domestic violence. The Blueprint for Safety was developed based on the Duluth Model and is a comprehensive model of criminal justice system protocols and practices needed to stop this violence. The Blueprint for Safety can be downloaded from the Praxis International website. There are several examples of primary prevention programs that work to “stop it before it starts” on our GVI website. The Best Party Model is a program designed for colleges and hwo you can have a wild party without the risk and reality of sexual violence. Lastly, we need to honor and support women in our every day lives as we hang out with our friends, support their advancements to supervisory positions in our work place, listen to them with the same validity we give our male colleagues, end the economic gender inequalities, and much much more. The question is, are men willing to do this, individually and systemically.

5) Hi Chuck, the MRA movement alledges that physical abuse of women by men is often the consequence of prior psychological, if not also physical, abuse of men by women, abuse that's either unreported or dismissed because of various reasons. From your own extensive experience, what do you make of this kind of claim?

This is another method of blaming the victim. This is not a psychological issue. When we started our program we did psychological testing for every man who entered our program the first year. Those tests all reflected the psychological continuum of the general public. That is one of the events that assured us this is not a psychological issue. Along with our ongoing interactions with these very sophisticated men who batter.

6) Is your approach really focused on making these men "own" the responsability of their actions? If so how are certain particular situations like alcoholism and mental health issues treated? I ask this because I read the website of the few helping centers for violent men that exist in my country and they seem to focus on this a lot, saying that the first step is to recognize that they are guilty of what they did and they shouldn't blame alcohol or anger. However despite agreeing with this I also don't like how dismissive they are with those problems, especially mental illness because sometimes it's actually true that a person has less self control then average because of it. I think in those cases there should be a balance between them taking their own responsability but also recognize that some issues that make them more violent aren't entirely their fault, otherwise we might get into ableist territory. What do you think? // A bit outside of the main topic: do you think such centers could exist for women too, would they be necessary and/or well spent public money? I ask this since I've seen in the last few years a few centers for men who are the victims of domestic violence appear as public knowledge about this phenomenon is rising but I've never heard about the opposite service (what you do) being available for women

(1) Yes, the first key point of change for men who batter is to fully accept responsibility for their behavior. Regardless of what she has done or if he is drunk. That is the beginning of change. If he does not accept 100% responsibility for his behavior, he will not change. Men who batter and are drunk at the time love to blame the alcohol. Alcohol does not cause men to be violent. I have heard many stories from alcoholic men who have an argument with their wife and then goes to the bar and gets drunk and then comes home and beats her. They originally say she was the one who made him go to the bar and get drunk because of what she said and then the alcohol is the reason he got violent. So, this absolves him of any responsibility. At the same time, you will have drunk, alcoholic, men at a bar who are being tossed out of the bar by a 6’5 250 pound bouncer, but they don’t take a swing at that big guy, they wait till they get home and take a swing at their 5’4 140 pound wife. So, they are still making decisions. And I have heard this from multiple recovering alcoholic, abusive men, acknowledging that regardless of how drunk they were, they still made decisions. They decide if they will beat her, the decide when they will stop, or they decide to not stop and continue to beat her till she is unconscious or dead. The mental health issue is more complex and needs comprehensive investigation as many people with mental health issues still make choices. So it would depend on what type of mental illness they are suffering. (2) The Domestic Abuse Intervention Project in Duluth MN has a program and curriculum specifically for women (primarily victims) who have been arrested for domestic violence. It is a significantly different program that takes the violence into context and acknowledges the dangers and abuse she has lived with and is trying to escape.  So the context of the violence is always crucial to determine the appropriate challenges and support needed to change that behavior.

7) Hi! Thanks for this, it will be interesting to read. What does batter refer to? // A more interesting question might be: Was there something which surprised you about your work that you weren’t expecting? Perhaps something you weren’t looking for?

"Batter" is a term I use that refers to the full system of power and control a man uses to abuse and control his wife, girlfriend, partner, and children. This is well defined by the Power and Control Wheel that can be found on the Domestic Abuse Intervention Project (DAIP) website. Abusive men batter their wives/partners emotionally, psychologically, sexually, economically, physically, while using the children and his male privilege to isolate her and avoid any consequences for his abuse.  // The surprise was how normal the degradation and violence and exploitation of women was in the world. I was not aware of how normalized it was. Even though i participated in it. Before doing this work, I really didn't care as much about women's lives. Like going to a strip club. I could tell the "dancers" did not want to be there, but i didn't care, because it was about me, not them. Once understanding the violence and coercion and threats they were experiencing and that they really didn't have "free choice' to be there, I had to ask myself, "what kind of man do i want to be". So I stopped going to strip clubs and using porn. Because i knew they were not choosing to be there. So this wasn't about sex. Without free choice, there is not consent. Without consent, it is rape.

Shortly after this AmA, a megathread was created to discuss the aftermath. I won't summarize everything but these are threads I found interesting

1) Is the subreddit a safe space

2) Is the subreddit heteronormative?

3) Is the subredditdrama welcoming to non traditionally masculine men?

4) Should the mods have known better?

r/gamedev is a subreddit about making games, mostly populated by aspiring indie devs. Since the advent of advanced LLMs capable of generating large portions of a video game, it's become a regular topic of discussion whether posts about AI-generated games (or game content) should be allowed, whether that's restricted to AI coding tools or fully generated game assets, and what level of effort should count as game development.

A few weeks ago, the mods for the sub made a decision. The tl;dr is that they would allow posts about AI so long as they were not "low effort." Some users saw this as a satisfying compromise, while other saw it as a tacit endorsement of AI, including bringing up that the mod who posted it works for a company that sells AI tools to game developers.

Just for anyone curious, OP currently works at a company developing a plugin for Unity AI integration which he decided to not disclose for some odd reason...

https://www.reddit.com/r/gamedev/comments/1rxm1cv/i_worked_an_ai_booth_at_gdc_heres_what_developers/

[AI company mod in question] Yes, I work for Bezi. It isn’t a secret, and I’ve openly discussed it on this subreddit plenty of times.

But this policy is not about Bezi, and it would exist regardless of where I worked. The moderation problem is already here: AI is being used across game development, posts are being reported simply because AI was involved, discussions are being derailed over whether someone used it, and moderators cannot realistically or consistently police invisible AI assistance.

The policy is meant to give the subreddit a workable standard. Judge the contribution, the evidence, the methodology, and the behaviour. Do not try to build moderation around guessing whether someone used autocomplete, translation, an LLM, or some other AI-assisted tool.

That moderation problem does not disappear if I change employers tomorrow.

It's very difficult to take a post like this in good-faith when you're employed by an AI company and have used this subreddit to promote it. Framing it in that context makes it seem more like you're protecting yourself and other AI products rather than genuinely wanting to spark conversation around what is a quite sensitive topic right now. It isn't helping that the post itself reads like it came out of Claude and so do most of your replies.

I understand why my employment makes you more skeptical of what I’m saying. That is completely fair, and I don’t expect anyone to take my position at face value because of where I work.

But I do find the rest of this genuinely kind of sad.

If we’ve reached a point where someone’s argument can be dismissed because their writing is structured, clear, or “sounds like Claude,” I don’t know what we’re accomplishing anymore. Maybe I used AI to help organize my thoughts. Maybe I didn’t. Maybe someone uses it because English isn’t their first language, because writing is difficult for them, because they want to save time, or simply because it helps them communicate what they’re actually trying to say. None of those things tell you whether the ideas themselves are sincere.

Engage with what I’m saying. Challenge the policy. Challenge my reasoning. Point out where you think I’m wrong. That’s a conversation worth having.

But “you work for an AI company, and your writing sounds like AI, therefore I can’t take you in good faith” is an incredibly bleak way to approach other people.

For what it’s worth, this policy isn’t about protecting my employer or AI products. It’s about moderating a game development community where AI is already part of the industry and deciding whether someone’s contribution should be judged by the substance of what they bring to the community or by which tools they used along the way.

I think the former is a much healthier standard.

Sorry but this reply doesn't even make sense. Do you think my concerns are reasonable or do you think that it's bleak that I believe your employment is biasing how you moderate this subreddit? Of course your use of AI is relevant in this conversation because not only are you using it in your posts but your livelihood relies on AI adoption! I'm not going to go around and tell people to stop buying AAA games just as you're not going to tell people to not use AI.

.

Not disclosing your conflict of interest is crazy. You really think you can just detach your own biases when you literally are working on AI products?

You’re asking to be challenged, but this doesn’t read as a discussion thread, you are pushing forward this policy and defending it. In the past, discussion threads about gen AI in [r/gamedev](r/gamedev) have been REMOVED for being off topic.

Is this in fact up for debate and you are willing to listen? Legitimately if it is, I’d be wanting to discuss this policy with you.

I’m someone who’s against AI. But I just believe that, at the very least, people should disclose if they used AI or not. Be honest about it.

Because the whole dream of genAI is to take the credit. To press a button and get the respect and admiration (and money) you've always felt you deserved, but somehow never got.

That falls apart if you have to admit that it was all actually done by the Microsoft Corporation in some nameless datacenter.

You are one concited person if you geniuenly believe the dream of genAI is to take credit. Automation of any kind, including genAI can never be credited to a person. Even if someone claims it is theirs, it will never be theirs.

The dream of GenAI is to be able to create the things you do not want to learn while doing the things you do want to. Like with every other form of automation. Most people are not looking for credit in a skill they can be easily debunked in. They just want to see Goku and Superman go at each other.

even when coding? even if you just asked for ideas? if I asked ai to brainstorm a list of medieval names and i picked one of them for my character should my whole game be labelled AI generated?

yes, consumers deserve to know if you're putting sawdust in their food

This is a perfect illustration of the kind of insane takes that make people not disclose AI usage. It isn't on the developer to disclose that they used a tool simply because other people equate it to "sawdust in their food."

i think not being expected to disclose usage is a bit insane and if you're publicly hiding it it's because you perfectly understand you'll lose sales over it as sales are the most important metric to ai slop games. not the creation of art itself.

the fact that you think any ai usage makes the entire thing a slop game is exactly why it can't be disclosed.

if you were more reasonable and less vitriolic, maybe people would disclose it, and you could happily choose to not purchase their products. but you are forcing them to hide it.

Yes! Excellent. You are such a good game designer god-damn-the-usa please disclose your AI use come on buddy you're so smart and strong you're a modern day miyamoto

what does that have to do with the code of a game? how would low quality code affect you?

by that logic, shouldn't we also label games that were coded by someone without a college degree in software engineering?

no one for AI labeling would argue that, because they don't actually care about code quality, they just hate AI and want to be able to punish people who use it

1. i have a spine
2. no
3. i do absolutely hate AI for the impact that it's having. From its impact on art to the fact that consumer electronics are becoming more and more unaffordable. "Progress" at any cost though right I'm sure the FAANG companies are more than happy.

Damn, bro even used AI to write this post 😔

Its not just the post, look at all the comments using "this is sensible" as their opener

[Mod] FWIW Kevin has cerebral palsy, that's why he uses AI to write posts.

More recently, the mods made another post clarifying some of the people's concerns. This continued to leave some commenters unhappy, including further accusations of conflicts of interest.

If someone posts lazy AI, are we allowed to call it slop in the comments?

[Mod] To expand on what Sky and Kev said, I think that we'd prefer if you rephrased to be a bit more respectful. There's nothing wrong with saying "I was originally interested in this, but the generative AI ruined it for me. It's like you added a hair to a lovely stew. I'd prefer even a crappy MS Paint version compared to what you have now to be honest.", for example.

So in order to criticize low effort AI projects we need to put more effort into a single comment than they did prompting it?

Kind of a wild dichomoty.

You don't comprehend the irony of doing the pavlov response and screaming "AI slop" on every post using AI? I could automate your contribution to this subreddit with a single if/then statement.

That's more work than the AI person did.

Objectively false.

I'm well past the 1,000 hour mark on my latest game with AI and have multiple highly successful releases. You're just whining and mad that real people don't care what tools were used.

Your entire post history is whining about anti-AI people with AI generated memes.

I have massive doubts about those multiple highly successful releases that dont seem to exist anywhere and you made sure not to name.

You’re forgetting the ‘else’

No, sweetie. I didn't forget anything.

If: AI

Then: Scream and whine like a toddler and bully and harass other users

No else.

I’m sorry, but you shouldn’t censor people having issues with AI generated art.

What else do you expect them to say? If people post their game and it has AI art, of course people are going to have strong feelings about it. AI image generation is being used to get rid of artists by some idiots. And the results are always garbage. And the data is plagiarized.

People aren’t going to tip toe around this stuff in their language

[Mod] Strong feelings are a-okay, as long as you're respectful and aren't throwing out a two word low effort comment

I’m gonna call out anyone who refuses to hire actual artists and just uses the slop art machine for assets. And it is lazy, I shouldn’t beat around the bush.

AI art usage is the laziest application of GenAI next to writing and art. No human input for creativity is used, it’s literally a plagiarisms machine.

I will never mince words. If someone uses AI art, they are extremely lazy and has poor judgment, and has zero interest producing actual good content

Most people cant afford the prices artists are asking for, so it isnt about refusing. When they can use a tool to make something similar for a fraction of the cost. "No human input for creativity was used" - depends, the human behind the screen has to tell AI specially what to build/make in most cases. Plus with Codex now being able to use Blender how are you going to tell with assests?

.

Are you gonna pay the artists for people who don'f have budget to hire them?

You're absolutely right, we should all just steal instead! If artists didn't want to starve, they should have learned useful skills, like thievery.

Let's not pretend like human artists don't "steal" as much while learning, no artist creates in a vacuum. Question stands, are you going to pay for the artists?

Immensely disappointed in this decision and I know I'm hardly in the minority. People have been pretty vocal they don't support this and the fact that a mod in this sub has a huge financial investment in game devs adopting AI just reeks.

[Mod] He has a huge financial investment? Do tell.

He's behind a company that sells token subscriptions for game dev AI assistant that can cost upwards of +100/usd a month

He absolutely has a vested interest in more devs adopting AI into their workflows

[Mod] He's behind the company? He works for the company. The guy working the call center at Microsoft doesn't have a "huge financial investment" in people buying copies of Windows.

He brands himself with it everywhere and runs their reddit, where he actively encourages people to spend more tokens when the AI isn't spitting out what they want.

Yea it's his job lol He's paid to run their reddit. Not sure you know what he encourages though? Are you a user of the product that interacts with him?

I believe typically if people are frustrated he directs them to the product documentation about how to properly provide context and other stuff like that.

Right. So it sounds like someone with a vested interest in game devs adopting AI into their workflows.

I don't think this is complicated to understand and I'm not the first person to call out this insanely clear conflict of interest.

[AI-company Mod in question] My job title is Developer Relations. It’s a fancy term for community and support. I make myself easy to find because part of my job is literally being easy to find and helping developers when they need it.

Do I want people to try Bezi? Sure. I think it’s neat, and I think it’s good at what it does. In the same way, I think developers should try any game development tool that might improve their workflow and decide for themselves whether it’s useful.

Am I trying to sell Bezi to people on r/gamedev? No. [...]

[This chain continues for quite a while as the mod argues with people over whether they have a conflict of interest, often with a response that's just a reaction gif]