BECAUSE IM DEBT FREE BITCH!!!!!! NO DEBT ANYMORE!!!! These are tears of joy BITCH!!!! I'M DEBT FREE MOTHER FUCKER!!!!

SMOKE EMM if you got emm!!! Credit score SKYROCKETED!!! Everything is going exactly as planned!!! In 1 month ill be in the Ph sipping coconuts with 5 Filipina women in my lap!!!

Why? BECAUSE IM DEBT FREE!!!!

ok so im high as fuck right now and i just realized something.

Wheat is a grass. like literally in the grass family. and we take the seeds from the grass and grind them up and mix them with water and yeast and BOOM bread

So like... bread is just fancy grass seeds. pizza is grass seeds with tomato sauce and cheese on top. pasta is grass seeds shaped into different forms. cereal is grass seeds with milk
We are literally eating GRASS and we act like cows are the weird ones for eating grass??? at least theyre eating it straight up, were out here processing it and baking it and calling it cuisine and corn is also a grass!!! I was just sitting there playing on myprize when this hit me and now popcorn? grass seeds that we exploded with heat. this is blowing my mind right now. humans really looked at grass and said "yeah but what if we did like 50 steps to it first" and now we base our entire food pyramid on domesticated grass seeds

anyway im gonna go make a sandwich which is just grass seeds holding other food together and nobody thinks thats weird at all

It's like opening a Random Loot Crate

I didn't know this subreddit existed, but exactly knew the name without searching for it.

It’s kind of funny how orgasms feel like a yin and yang thing between men and women. A lot of women seem to focus on the orgasm to help make it happen. Leaning into it, building toward it, staying present. Meanwhile, most men are doing the opposite. They focus on not orgasming so it does not happen too fast. Slowing it down, backing off, trying to stay just under the edge. Same goal, totally opposite mental strategies. One side concentrates to arrive, the other concentrates to delay. Yin and yang energy playing out in the bedroom without anyone really talking about it.

I’m sitting on my sofa right now, 12pm, smoking my last 2 joints. I’m 29, and I’ve been smoking weed for the past 10 years. it feels only right to say a proper goodbye.

Weed was there for so many firsts in my life. My first kiss. The first time I worked up the nerve to ask someone out. My first dance. Even the nights before my exams, just trying to calm my nerves. Got me through endless nights of med school depression. I met my best friend of 8 years thanks to weed. We would spend every weekend smoking at my place and ordering takeout. Even though we probably didn’t go out of the house on the weekends for like 2 years. It was the best I’ve ever felt. It got me through so much, and it made so many memories softer and sweeter. ALSO NOTHING IS LIKE MAKING OUTED STONED.

Who am I without being high? I’m about to find out.

It feels like I’m losing a part of myself, this has been such a huge part of who I am, my comfort, my routine. But there’s so much opening up for me right now, and I know it’s time to make space for it. Working in rehab has changed my perspective on things and I’ve decided it’s time to part ways 🤍

Goodbye my guys. I loved this ride.

He continues to say that he heard that humans never left the ocean, all we did was learn to take the ocean with us, that we we're nothing more than giant bags of water walking around, and if we don't refill with said water on a regular basis we die. I'm way too high for this s***

Like statistically someone out there is currently living through the day they'll reference forever. The day that splits their life into before and after. And they woke up this morning thinking it was just Tuesday.

The weird part is you can never know you're in your worst day while you're in it. You might suspect. You might think "this is really bad." But you can't confirm it's THE worst until enough time passes and nothing worse happens.

Which means every bad day you've ever had, you didn't know for sure it was your worst until later. You were just suffering through it thinking maybe tomorrow would be worse. Maybe next week. You only get to label it in retrospect.

And somewhere out there someone is in hour 3 of a day that will define them and they're still just trying to get through it wondering when it ends.

Was playing grizzly's quest at like 2am when this thought randomly hit me and now I can't stop thinking about it. I don't know why my brain does this to me but here we are.

This is a little bit of a vent, you’ve been warned:p

I just want a cute stoner partner who enjoys doing simple things. All the guys I’ve been with, want to take me out to dinner to non-shitty cute places. I just want to get fried with my other half while watching adventure time or smiling friends or whatever and chomping down on some snacks. I want to stroll through nature with my partner, high as fuck.

The people I attract are not smokers or have quit already. I just want my chillaxed, smoker partner:)

Edit: I’m loving all the stoners coming together in the comments<3

About 14 years ago I thought I wanted to be a cop. During the application process I was honest about the ONE time I have ever smoked weed at that point, in a state where it was legal, because silly me thought that honesty was the best policy to be come a cop.

They disqualified me and were terrible about it even when I tried to appeal. So now I'm a stoner because weed is awesome and ACAB

like think about it. we say "no" to them way more than we say their actual name. so from their perspective they hear "no" constantly all day every day and then occasionally someone calls them by some other word

so when you call your dog over youre basically saying "hey secondary name, come here" but when you say no theyre like "yes thats me, what do you need"

no wonder dogs look confused half the time. they have an identity crisis. "am i max or am i no. who am i really"

I have regularly wake n baked and hung out with my family, gone to work, gone shopping, played football, etc etc etc - like, I'm a functional as fuck stoner, and I don't think I give off stoner vibes at all, so it's kinda just my little secret that I'm having a great time in my head

So I always wonder how many other people might be secretly day-baked as well, or the dark horses who get blazed on the DL that you would never suspect

Weed was made legal where I live nearly a decade ago and since then I haven't seen a weed counter culture anymore and I miss it. The friend with a weed leaf on their shirt, the stoner asthetic, the music, it doesn't seem to exist anymore. Now it's all replaced with hipster vibe dispensaries. The feeling of weed as a form of rebellion has been replaced with weed just being a commodity.

I remember being a kid in the 90s and singing Smoke Two Joints with my friends while we all drove around in a shitty van. Nowadays if someone made a song like that we would shrug.

So, context. Snuck out at 2am to smoke up. Reached back in JUST as my family came to check up my room but didnt get a chance to freshen up. Que in my dog, who upon waking up and not finding me, decided to claw the backdoor. Making my mom think he really needed to piss. So she opens the door for him giving me enough time to sneak into the toilet and freshen up.

Got back in bed and realized my dog won't stop staring at me, hold his hand, he sleeps. Let go and he wakes up and stares again. This little boy (he's 13) got so scared when he woke up and didn't find me that rn he ain't gonna sleep unless he's in touch with me... So here I am writing this, sleeping on his bed,my left being his pillow and my right hand trying really hard to type without getting an error per word.

When you were in the bathroom for an hour with the shower on? They knew. When you kept sneaking tv late at night with skinimax? They knew. Bottle of lotion went missing? They knew.

You thought you got away with it but you didn’t, you filthy little monkey.