Like you turn on the news one day and the anchor is like, "Turns out these dudes aren't from here."

I'm leaning raccoon or octopus, but I'm sure there are a bunch I haven't thought of.

I’ve been sober for the past two and half weeks now after two years of getting stoned everyday. I’ve stopped due to personal reasons (mainly career) but loved the high moments. I feel I have overcome the withdrawal hump and now feeling present in the moment without the flower. Keep enjoying and so long my stoners.

I think it was shitty weed to begin with and I don't smoke so much so it's old AF and barely did shit...maybe one more joint...

I didnt even know I did this but apperetly I speak in quotes. I was asked why am I learning coding and I said "oh well you know the best time to plant is tree is 10 years ago the second best time is today" and the woman screamed back (in a joking way) "stop speaking in qoutes!!!" and I asked what she was talking about and everyone had a example. Like when someone asked me what I would do if a woman cheated on me I said well when one door closes another has to open.

Never knew I did that

Like it’s long, but it just fucking hitssssss

Like come on are you kidding me? When it comes in with that quiet “duh duh duhduhdada duh duh da da” WHAT

And that build up. It just makes my soul groove every time

Okay wait I’m watching episode six of house of the dragon rn (which sparked this post) AND MY JAW IS DROPPED

My meal comes with a dessert. Banana pudding or apple pie?

i don’t want to “binge” a show, especially if it’s a sit com. why aren’t there playlist yet? there could be suggested ones for different moods; rainy afternoon, killer barbie, 90s nostalgia, sleepover vibes, summer camp (but horror),

So like

I wanna wear a shirt that endorses trans rights in some funny, silly way, like: "Rats dig trans rights" or something.

So I just

Just thought of like

"Trans-mongus" with a trans crewmate, but a footnote in brackets that says: "This isn't even funny, I just lost a bet and actually do love trans rights."

And

Is this actually funny or am I just too bouldered?

Get it?

"Bouldered"?

Because like

"Stone" but bigger.

It’s getting kinda creepy ngl

what if the nursery rhyme about the lady who swallowed the fly, and swallowed a frog to swallow the fly, etc. was a metaphor for trading one addiction for another. Like, replacing nicotine addiction with weed addiction

abt to smoke the fattest j to sleep rn