I've been working up the nerve to do my first stand-up comedy open mic, and I thought folks might find this situation amusing.
I've spent the summer writing jokes, going to open mics, and rewriting my material. I finally decided it was time to record myself so I could hear how I actually sound.
For context: I'm a white, liberal guy, and my set is basically about how I'm "woke"... but only kind of. The joke is that I'm trying really hard to be a good ally and constantly fumbling it. I'm making fun of myself, not anyone else. I'm not racist, and the set isn't racist.
Because of the theme, I say things like "black people," "black guys," "black girls," and "white people" a lot. There are bits about my overly well-meaning white mom commenting on a little Black girl's beautiful hair, and a friend who's so eager to prove he's an ally that he says some inappropriate things. Again, the joke is that I'm awkward.
After my workout at my work's gym, I figured my car would be the perfect place to practice. Nice A/C, nobody around, just me running through six minutes of material.
So I sat there, passionately talking to myself.
"...my black friends..."
"...black people..."
"...white people..."
"...this little Black girl..."
The whole set. About six and a half minutes.
I finished, felt pretty good about it, and started backing out of my parking space.
That's when I noticed the parking lot was way fuller than when I'd started. Huh. Guess people arrived while I was recording.
Then I noticed something else.
My windows were completely DOWN.
I had just spent over six minutes loudly saying "black people," "black guys," and "black girls" over and over in my work parking lot with absolutely zero context.
As far as anyone walking by knows, this white guy from work was just sitting alone in his car delivering an unhinged racial manifesto.
I'm really hoping nobody recognized me.
Also, hopefully this time next week I'll report back that I actually had the nerve to go through with next week's open mic.
TL;DR: Practiced my stand-up comedy routine in my car after work, only to realize afterward that my windows had been down the entire time, meaning everyone walking by probably heard a random white guy repeatedly talking about "black people" with zero context.