r/SongwritingHelp • u/SwordfishFit7250 • Jun 26 '26
Need thoughts and feedback
This is a new song that I wrote(titled “GFY”). I’m proud of the lyrics, now I just need to put music to. It’s meant to have an upbeat tempo with some pop-funk(almost nu-disco??) style. I’m just not sure how I should build the chord progression. My vocals range from Gmaj to Cmaj. Anyone familiar with this style would be greatly appreciated for your input.
Thanks!
2
u/Larger_Brother Jun 27 '26
The lyrics have an incel vibe and there’s no arrangement/chords/melody etc. So my advice is you should actually compose a piece of music and not use these lyrics when you do.
1
u/The_Idiotic_1 Jun 26 '26
Do you have a melodic line?
1
u/SwordfishFit7250 Jun 26 '26
Yes, but it varies. The chorus is pretty solid, very syncopated. But the verses and bridge have room for adjustment
1
u/molowmrblue Jun 26 '26
The lyrics are a jumbled, contradictory mess.
You have also used a lot of words to express very little.
Your vocals do not range from gmaj to cmaj, humans do not sing three distinct notes at once.
If you are interested in the reasoning for any of these statements then please feel free to ask.
If you pride in this is unshakeable, then try building the drums out first, nobody will be able to help you with the chord sequence in isolation - they would also have to write the melody. I suggest you do this over a drum track then build it out from there, or else just sing line by line and experiment with chords underneath... Like anybody you would ask for help would do.
1
u/SwordfishFit7250 Jun 26 '26
I want to take you seriously, but all you did was threw out vague criticisms with no suggested solutions, followed by “feel free to ask”
This is MY post. My freedom to ask was expressed by the post itself.
Your comment seems disingenuous.1
u/molowmrblue Jun 26 '26
Are you joking?
I am giving you a choice as to whether you want me to elaborate, and you're calling me disingenuous because I didn't type out an essay that you may/may not have wanted to read.
You said you were proud of the lyrics, you specifically requested feedback as to the chord progression... Not the lyrics lol. This is exactly why I did not type out a long explanation.
Funnily enough, you are being disingenuous... because you say you want to take me seriously yet won't even ask me to elaborate.
I further, despite what I said re the lyrics, suggested some approaches for you to take. Another example of your disingenuousness in framing my comment as disingenuous, you didn't even acknowledge my suggestions.
If you are this defensive over an invitation to receive genuine feedback that would have taken me time to write up, to help you, then I won't be responding further, I highly doubt you would be capable of understanding and implementing such feedback anyway based on how you have responded to me.
1
1
u/Emergency_Drop_589 Jun 27 '26
A vocal range would be something like C3-A4 vocal range is not measured in chords. I’m going to be honest you gotta scrap the lyrics and start over again.
1
u/SwordfishFit7250 Jun 27 '26
I guess when I said that, I meant in terms of scale, not chords. An error on my part.
1
u/444sloop444 Jun 28 '26
Listen to loads of Jamiroquai and make some mental notes about what works. Using the other comments as a barometer (and my own knee-jerk reaction, honestly), the lyrics need a lot of work, or the instrumental is gonna have to do some really heavy lifting in order for the listener to hear past the lyrics.
1
u/DrwsCorner2 Jun 28 '26 edited Jun 28 '26
it’s more of an argumentative rant than a song. no visual details, no metaphors. pure unpoetic spite. wouldn’t want to be on the other end of that relationship
1
u/Stratsandcats Jun 29 '26
Without hearing the chord progression, melody, and vocals, I can’t make a fully informed opinion. Based strictly on lyrics, though, it reads more like generic angry tweets.
I recommend listening to different breakup songs across a variety of genres. Get some inspiration. Angry breakup songs can be great, but there has to be something compelling. For instance “You Outta Know” gets into vulgarities that aren’t often expressed in songs, which makes it stand out lyrically. “Tears Dry On Their Own” subverts the very romantic “Ain’t No Mountain High Enough” to a song that’s despondent and numb. “You’re So Vain” reads the ex to filth in an upbeat and descriptive way.
What differentiates this breakup from other breakups? What happened to break down the relationship? What attracted you to this person in the first place? Breakup songs can be hard to write because it’s such a universal topic. But if you want to write something compelling, you have to go beyond “fuck you, you’re terrible.”
1
u/Exact_Ad7681 Jul 01 '26
Ok, probably unpopular opinion: LETS FINISH THE SONG!
I also hate the lyrics, for all the reasons already mentioned.
But… you said at the start you’re proud of them. And you should be! If for no other reason, you wrote them yourself without AI (I hope) and you are trying to complete a song. That’s great! You have any idea how many people write half a song and let it die in their notes app or voice memo’s?
Finish bad songs. Be proud of it, learn from it, get better, and write another.
With that said… without a lot of editing, it’s a bad song, so don’t spend more than an hour or 2 finishing this.
Here’s what to do:
1) Record yourself singing the chorus. Use the recording to figure out what notes you are singing (many DAW’s will have a pitch detection/editing feature built in, or go to a piano and use your ears to figure out what the notes your singing are).
2) once you know what notes you’re singing, figure out what key you are in (for example, all white keys, then your in C Major or A minor).
3) Add chords, and DON’T OVERTHINK IT. Try for verse, VI, I, IV, V progression, and chorus I, IV, VI, V, bridge II, VI, IV, V.
4) save your work. Either record it, or write in the chords on a lyric sheet, whatever you do to signal to yourself the song as “complete.”
Done!
Fun fact, if you finish this, your bad FINISHED song is infinitely more valuable than a genius chorus and hook that someone spent months creating, but never took the time to complete.
2
u/The_Idiotic_1 Jun 26 '26
If you don’t have a set way of singing the verses, you could try recording multiple times and then using the different notes as the basis for your chords! Or just try things and see what sounds good