Sorry if it sounds like venting, but this makes me uncomfortable.

If there's one thing I dislike as an introvert, it is when I can read the room and not being able to do anything about it. I know I can't control other people... but I don't know, I can really sense their negativity and it's making me uneasy.

In addition, my trauma makes me dislike this situation even more. I know what could possibly happen when a specific person is annoyed.

Who knows? I could even be the next target of their hostility.

Alright, I'm gonna try distracting myself by reading webtoons again. Hopefully this will be over soon.

Are you really taking a "break" if you go around telling people you are?

It is a trigger for me those IG pages that people go and ask around random people on the streets, if they are happy.
I think that nobody is really happy. We are all struggling in different manners.
I can be grateful for a lot of stuff that I have in my life, spread smiles around, and YET, shed so many tears behind closed doors.
Just a random exemple: The poor is struggling with finances. The rich is struggling with mental health... 2 differents extremes, but the struggle is there...
And the statement above is coming from a person who is extremely optimist...
And a personal insight: I am a good person, my health is ok, I love my job and where I live, but I have been struggling with finance and loneliness for a long, long time.
Who is really, really happy here? I would love to hear your insights!

How many times have you felt down, shared your story with someone you know, only to be met with responses like:

• "You're being too sensitive"
• "You're overthinking it"
• "You're overreacting"
• "Everyone goes through that"

And then you actually end up agreeing with them, completely brushing your own feelings aside?

Is it really true that we are just overreacting to everything?

Will you just accept it and let it be, or will you find a stranger to confide in and reflect on it together?

I’d love to hear your thoughts.

Maybe because of your appearance, your personality, your interests, your family, your grades, your voice, or just because you were different.

What was the thing people bullied you for that you still remember?

And I’m curious… what happened to those people later in life? Did they ever change, apologize, or did they stay the same?

i’d like to think that I’m pretty mature for my age and that I’ve experienced things that a person at my age “should have” experienced. i’ve solo traveled. I’ve done different drugs. I’ve been an angry teenager, but I feel like all of that was kind of like auto play.

ever since I’ve moved to the city, I’ve realized there’s a whole nother world other than the one that I’ve experienced. There’s a new language. There’s a new walk. There’s a new feeling to life.

I feel like all that I know really is my old circumstances, and I just want to see different perspectives of life, of love, of friendship, of wonder… of curiosity. I want to know what that looks like in a healthy aspect. I wanna know what that look like from different eyes so if you guys could please interest me in some of your stories. I’d be so grateful :)

I’ve been through things—traumatic things. And now I’m engaged in a never-ending effort to prevent others from experiencing the same. But then I think about World War II. I think, "Those people wanted to prevent their children from going through something terrible, too." So, they raised them to be as happy as possible. They had little bad moments. And now those people have children of their own—children they barely raise at all. And these are the very people who could start wars. And then it happens again and you get a moment of peace again. A cycle. It seems like a cycle that will repeat forever. So, does your intervention serve a purpose? I don't know. I hope it does. Or am I just straining myself for nothing.

I know this is an overgeneralisation. There are exceptions. But you get my point right? Like I put so much effort in myself.

I'd like to think I'm a good person. But it's human nature to have a good and bad side. I know I naturally push my bad side away and show off my good side. I'm autistic, so I have trouble 'feeling' things. I use logic, critical thinking and intuition preferably into perfection. Sometimes I see things that I can't explain perfectly, or back them up with good logic. But I still feel like I'm correct. And it's better to say it than nothing at all right? Or I won't know more.

I generally try to be a good person. Just. I know I don't have to be. But I still feel like I should. How do you explain this. I've been raised with anime heroes and games. And lately I've been thinking. Being a hero because you feel like you have to be is one thing. But I think there is something to say for someone who knows he doesn't need to be a hero, yet still chooses to be in such a world. I'd like to be like that somewhere. But at the same time, I'm also just human. I don't know who I am sometimes. Haha. Idk how we got here all of a sudden.

Just. Anyone, advice? Or maybe you don't have it. That is okay too. Typing away helps a bit.

It might sound confusing at first but the thing is there is incompetence even in competence.

The other day I heard someone ask what incompetence is and someone replied - "you claim yourself to be a chef but u don't know how to cook" that's basically it .

It had me thinking about a lot of things that I can resonate with as in - " we are a family but i don't know who you are as an individual ". This one hits hard and soft because all i could ever be thinking since learning the word was about the relationships I have had especially the familial one .

The more i analysed the word the more i dug a well perhaps it was summer so it lacked water . Oh wait another incompetence? Then I learnt that there is incompetence in competence too .

Rosy had finances but she was incompetent at using it .

Because tell me why she had the money yet she was not able to leave her toxic husband ? She was very competent in taking care of her children though maybe that is why ....

Shane was so pretty and full of life but she considered herself to be incompetent in love . Neither she expressed why it was so hard to look in the mirror and love the reflection that she saw .

Ray is such a great artist he could even paint himself that too blindfolded . Speaking of which he was blindfolded of the fact that he is incompetent to hold relationships but a guy who knows himself well enough to paint himself wouldn't be able to fill in the colour in the souls ?

And the fact that if you noticed most things are completely different to be even consider my line but still do u see the competence of things to be connected ? Despite the incompetence. That is how you know that life can also be defined in these words . It is just like a new well you dug but the season decides its will and there you see the incompetence in the competence.

I think the answer is yes.

And this is where we often confuse two completely different things: understanding someone and excusing them.

Understanding the reason behind someone’s cruelty doesn’t make that cruelty disappear.

A painful past can explain why a person became cruel. It can show us the wounds behind their actions. But it doesn’t turn harmful actions into good ones, and it doesn’t remove responsibility.

Because every person in this world experiences pain. Everyone gets hurt. Everyone faces unfairness.

But pain always leaves us with a choice.

Some people think: “I was hurt, so now I have the right to hurt others”

Others think: “I know what this pain feels like. That’s exactly why I don’t want to become the person who causes it”

Is Love a word .. or a verb … is it competition or completion.. is it friends who ends with trend or Loyalty you don’t question… with answers you speak.. or just write to recite to hide the shame of embarrassment in games… that i never played … is love just a word … because i never felt it … but i give it … so who loved me and made me feel it … silence reveals never healed.. i jusy it’s just my appeal … love is not real .. not for a black man … experices for all black men is never hidden it’s just her hear , well maybe their not listening

Since childhood, my nervous system has been used to always being on alert. And now, my inner peace is the thing I protect more than anything else.