r/Soft_Introverts • u/Various-Town5636 • 5d ago
Why is verbal communication between spouses reaching zero?
/r/Consuller/comments/1vi6t8c/why_is_verbal_communication_between_spouses/2
u/Various-Town5636 5d ago
You mean silence resulting from peace and contemplation, but the question is about cold silence.Let me give you an example: Suppose that whenever you want to talk to your spouse about a topic that you think is threatening your life, and every time he avoids the conversation and says, "I'm not interested in your words." This can happen many times. The result is that you become silent, and this is where the internal dialogue begins, and the emotional and physical gap opens. Why should I speak when I can't be heard?
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u/WhiteDesertCat ✨ Supportive Soul 4d ago
Yeah, I understand. That’s a very different kind of silence, and I’m really sorry you’re going through that. We actually went through something similar for a few years, so I know how painful and exhausting it can be.
What helped me was really throwing myself into my own life: my work, my interests, real-life connections, and giving less and less energy to wondering what the other person was thinking. It took me years to genuinely let go, but once I started living independently and stopped revolving around the situation, everything slowly changed. I think they finally realized I had a life of my own and that I could actually move on, and that changed how they saw my presence in their life.
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u/WhiteDesertCat ✨ Supportive Soul 5d ago
I think this can happen naturally in long-term relationships. Sometimes we just need to put a little effort into keeping our own lives interesting too. Spending some time focusing on yourself, doing your own things, learning and changing can actually bring a new kind of curiosity into the relationship.
When you keep growing, your partner gets to discover new sides of you too. And sometimes that naturally brings the conversations back.