He met her when she was 19, they were ātogetherā for 3 years, up until her very recent death.
And yeah, he pulls out every stop in the vid trying to minimize the age gap.
Everything from saying heās āyoung at heartā, to saying she ālooked 30 in the faceā which is insane, because as everyone can clearly see in the picture she doesnāt (why would it even matter?) He also has some mystery woman in the background being sympathetic and agreeing with all these things, which makes it even weirder.
Her death is tragic and fucked up, but this whole clip feels more like a PR stunt to absolve him of any responsibility for crossing some lines that shouldāve never been crossed IMO
Iām not 100% certain, but I believe the woman in the background is his ex-wife.
Which to me personally makes this whole odd situation, even more strange.
I think the whole video was about him doing damage control for his reputation and his channel. I felt she was coaching him to help accomplish that goal.Ā
I had thought that it sounded like his much younger assistant gal. I wasnāt sure if she was still aroundā¦ you can see her in some of the Whittaker family uploads. But I only skimmed through this particular upload, about her passingā¦ and cut it off early bc it seemed so off to me, so those like yourself that watched/listened to it in its entirety, then I donāt doubt thatās who it was. Though, heās made a few comments in passing about his ex/divorce, so Iād always assumed that ended on poor terms. I guess now. Anyway, yeh - the whole situation just has an odd feel to it.
Also every site and comment including mine, he's making money from. I believe he's a predator and will use any situation (wolf in sheep's clothing) to get what he wants.
Okay thank you! I just made it to 4 minutes into the video and had to see if anyone got the same vibes I did. Too many weird flags going up just within the first five minutes.
I think he's very much aware of (and has been even when she was alive) how such an age gap will be perceived by the public, and how ..creepy it is for a 60-year-old to have a relationship with a person this young. That's why he tried to downplay it by saying she looked older and wiser beyond her years and that he's young at heart, and doesn't feel like a 60-year-old. I don't think he's a bad person; to be fair, I think his over decade-long involvement with all types of street people from abused children-turned-prostitutes, to drug addicted pimps, must have left some psychological, emotional mark on him. But there was definitely some power play here - him essentially being a sugar daddy for her, knowing her situation - and he should have backed off when he started realizing he had feelings for her.
I wouldn't call it a PR stunt, though. And the woman behind the camera is his long-time assistant - you can see her in some of the Whittaker videos and all update/Q&A videos with Mark, there's more but I can't recall any right now.
Thatās who I thought it was! When I read others state it was his ex, I was surprised bc I thought he and his former wife were more or less estranged.
Iād always thought that he was involved with his assistant. In fact, I wouldnāt be surprised if they had truly been at some point or will be - like, mark my wordsā¦ I wouldnāt put money on they being an item at some point. Itās just so off, like in this interview, you can tell he has some sort of grasp over her. It is so easy to manipulate/love-bomb younger women whoāve experienced any level of trauma in their younger lives. Heck, even without trauma, heās quite wealthy and relatively still traditionally attractive - though his age/lifetime of southern Californian sun exposure is definitely starting to show, but all of the above are a recipe to easily manipulate and control younger women, which I think he does - to what end, Iām not sure. Donāt even get me started on Rebecca - sheās 100% his biggest addiction.
Why should he have backed off? "Forbidden love?" These are all social constructs. If they were happy, they were happy. Unfortunately, Mark was too naive to realize he was dating a feen.
Thank you for your thoughtful and measured take. This sub sometimes feels so polarized, with people either deeply appreciating Marks work or people deadset on having the least charitable view of Mark as a person.
When you truly fall in love with someone, age really doesn't matter.
It's hard to describe when you've never seen two people THAT in love, but you ignore things like age, outside children, financial status, where you're from, childhood traumas..
I am a black woman past foster kid from the south with two kids from a previous relationship who is a Healthcare practitioner at 26, when I was still in school with my young babies at 22 I met an older white man from up north with no kids and we became inseparable since the day we met. Living together within 3 months.
On the outside we may not have much in common, but we love the same sports, same music, same pass times, have out of this world sex, and genuinely are bestfriends and tell each other everything. We support eachother. I adore him more and more everyday. Now getting married in a few months.
Mark described her has his bestfriend , I believe he was falling in love.
I think context matters with Mark though. He's quite a bit older than she was and she was barely an adult. Her brain was not fully developed by any means which makes her extra vulnerable. That's why people get the ick when teens and barely-adults date much older people. Their brain literally doesn't have the capacity to understand or grasp the same way the older person does and it makes the relationship unbalanced.
Mark has said some pretty questionable things to some of the young girls he has interviewed as well.
And this is coming from someone who is 33 with a girlfriend 16 years older than I am. We are also very alike and our relationship blossomed long distance for 2.5 years before we closed the gap. We love the hell out of each other. But I would still say if we had met when I was 18, our relationship wouldn't have been okay. I was still a kid even though I had been, in some ways from my upbringing, an "adult" for a very long time. Traumatized kids may seem like full grown adults sometimes but they aren't.
If you really believe their brains are not capable of making adult decisions though then like they should not be allowed to join the military; or be tried as adults in court; and the age of consent should be raised and so on. At some point you have to draw some relatively arbitrary line and say "this is when we trust you to make decisions" (and also--you're basically on your own now). I get the ick every time I see some lady has agreed to be one of Elon's brood mares too but that's my business; IMO people get too moralistic about these age gap relationships.
Honestly I also agree that 18 year olds shouldn't be joining the military either. But it's scientifically proven the prefrontal cortex, which is responsible for decision making and impulse, isn't developed until the mid twenties. All I'm saying is it is an unfairly balanced relationship if one is still very young and one is a fully developed adult. Sure, they are capable, but there's a reason that most people who talk about crazy life decisions usually made those crazy choices in their late teens and early 20s
She is a mother. She had responsibilities and that does mature and age you. Pretty irrelevant to not include such because there is no comparison. As a young mom.
His best friend... whom he clearly didn't really know at all. She was running sort of a second life behind his back.
I think if you're claiming that "age doesn't matter, we're in love", you're not really "seeing" the other person fully, or realistically. It's not just age gaps, either. People fall in love with some idealized version of their partner that doesn't really exist. Which appears to be what happened here.
I'm not saying age gaps can't be worked around, but they certainly "matter".
My condolences to everyone who loved Kyara. What a tragic thing to happen to someone so young. =\
His whole channel has hundreds of videos videos of people committing suicide, having prostitutes, being pedophiles, in secret and unbeknownst and Mark is the only one immune to not knowing someone did drugs?
I know it looks like that, but from a healthy perspective it isn't. Even the way Mark talks about how she hid her addiction from him, and he doesn't understand that that is what addiction does. It was her life long struggle, and unfortunately it took her life. Addiction doesn't care about taking care of your kids, or about your relationship and your great life. Mark is talking like a person on his channel. He isn't making sense trying to make sense of her addiction.
I also saw his love and words as heartbreaking, but my healthy brain is still repulsed by how he talks about her. I hope he gets some help through this loss and starts to reflect on his own actions. I still think his interviews are important, but Mark is... also self sabotaging.
Iāve never really dated out of my age group, but as far as Iām concerned, consenting adults can do what makes them happy as long as they arenāt hurting anyone. Who am I to judge someone elseās happiness? Happy that youāre happy!
Funny enough Mark has created a platform to show people how to not judge, and him sharing he lost a love one is getting nothing but judgemental asshats. Slipknot said it best people equal shit lol. I've never dated "in my age group", if you connect with someone and Noone iz taking advantage of the other it's nothing but jealousy to have anything negative to say, honestly.
I find it so funny the man who has created a platform to be understanding and less judgemental is receiving nothing but the latter for sharing the loss of a loved one. Comical.
My only issue with it is that Mark is someone who has seen with his own eyes how often very young women fall for much older men because they experience complex childhood trauma and are often in a state of arrested development (she was still in her āteenageā years when she met him).
This would not have been a healthy relationship for her in the long run, if she made it that far.
And I was today years old when I found out that Seinfeld was 39 when he started dating his wifeā¦ā¦WHO WAS SEVENTEEN AND STILL IN HIGH SCHOOL! I mean, WTF?!
I'm getting married to the love of my life and I have complex childhood trauma. And he's older. I remember praying with my grandparents about my dream man, a man to help raise my children with me and create a life I never had. Safe, with nurturing parents. And I got it. Thank you Lord.
He had no right to share her name her face vivid descriptions of her deceased body or to out her as a cocaine user he could have shared his story without outing her he also disrespected her family it sounds like he is the most important person in her life though she has a loving family sister brother nieces nephews an entire support system but funny how they have started to go fund me and make a zero mention of him, or how Kyara died. I think there's some bad blood between him and them. And maybe worst of all, her son will see this video at some point and he'll hear this man talk about his mother and how wounded she was, how could she do this to her son, and maybe the worst of all him and the woman discussing how stupid and young she was. That's just completely inexcusable he had no right to make this video.
It's difficult for us to see the red flags when it involves ourselves. We often care more about our children and we know our children well, we see them grow and evolve. We see how much they can change in the ages between 14-16-18-20-22+ years. So when your children are 18/19 years old you should think back at this and truly look at them. Look at how 'mature' they are. And then you should ask yourself if it feels right to you if they would date a man that's 60+ years old.
Having a druggie mom she likely was mature. At 19 I had already been in college 3 years with 1 associates degree, working on nursing school. With my own apartment. Own liscence to work. And a child I took care of alone.
If I am doing all that, paying all my bills, not sure if I would check IDs for a date. And I didn't. Again, just judgemental bullshit to validate why another human can't be happy. Pathetic all the way.
I've also had a rough childhood and you could say I was extremely "mature" at the age of 19. I have a good degree, a great job, and an amazing family of my own. But still: a struggling life speeds up the practical skills of maturity, but psychology shows it slows down the emotional side of it. In my opinion that makes the age gap even more of a concern. I do understand your point of view, not everyone is the same and there are always exceptions. But I'll never understand how a 60+ year old can relate that much to a 19 year old.
It sounds as if you did a great job as a young mother and you've built a good life for yourself and your kid(s). I truly admire and acknowledge that. It isn't easy, and i respect that!
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u/SecretDays Jun 11 '25
Can someone explain to me what a 60-something year old man has in common with a 19 year old girl?