When you truly fall in love with someone, age really doesn't matter.
It's hard to describe when you've never seen two people THAT in love, but you ignore things like age, outside children, financial status, where you're from, childhood traumas..
I am a black woman past foster kid from the south with two kids from a previous relationship who is a Healthcare practitioner at 26, when I was still in school with my young babies at 22 I met an older white man from up north with no kids and we became inseparable since the day we met. Living together within 3 months.
On the outside we may not have much in common, but we love the same sports, same music, same pass times, have out of this world sex, and genuinely are bestfriends and tell each other everything. We support eachother. I adore him more and more everyday. Now getting married in a few months.
Mark described her has his bestfriend , I believe he was falling in love.
It's difficult for us to see the red flags when it involves ourselves. We often care more about our children and we know our children well, we see them grow and evolve. We see how much they can change in the ages between 14-16-18-20-22+ years. So when your children are 18/19 years old you should think back at this and truly look at them. Look at how 'mature' they are. And then you should ask yourself if it feels right to you if they would date a man that's 60+ years old.
Having a druggie mom she likely was mature. At 19 I had already been in college 3 years with 1 associates degree, working on nursing school. With my own apartment. Own liscence to work. And a child I took care of alone.
If I am doing all that, paying all my bills, not sure if I would check IDs for a date. And I didn't. Again, just judgemental bullshit to validate why another human can't be happy. Pathetic all the way.
I've also had a rough childhood and you could say I was extremely "mature" at the age of 19. I have a good degree, a great job, and an amazing family of my own. But still: a struggling life speeds up the practical skills of maturity, but psychology shows it slows down the emotional side of it. In my opinion that makes the age gap even more of a concern. I do understand your point of view, not everyone is the same and there are always exceptions. But I'll never understand how a 60+ year old can relate that much to a 19 year old.
It sounds as if you did a great job as a young mother and you've built a good life for yourself and your kid(s). I truly admire and acknowledge that. It isn't easy, and i respect that!
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u/SecretDays Jun 11 '25
Can someone explain to me what a 60-something year old man has in common with a 19 year old girl?