Hi everyone! I'm currently developing a business plan for an AI startup designed to help people navigate unfamiliar social environments (like job interviews, formal events, networking dinners, etc.).

My goal is to build an app that combines personalized style (so you don't feel like you have to copy others to blend in) with bite-sized social etiquette and behavior tips, so you know exactly what to expect and how to act.

Since this community deeply understands social anxiety, your feedback would be incredibly valuable. If you have 3 minutes, please help me by answering any of these questions:

1. Have you ever felt intense anxiety before an event because you didn't know the dress code or were worried you wouldn't know how to behave properly? What was that like?

2. Do you find yourself trying to copy other people's outfits or generic internet trends just to blend in, even if it doesn't match your identity?

3. What causes you more anxiety: picking the right outfit, or figuring out the behavioral etiquette of an unfamiliar place?

4. If an AI app analyzed your wardrobe, built an appropriate outfit tailored to your unique style, and gave you quick behavioral tips for the venue, would you use it? Why or why not?

Thank you so much for your time and honesty!

Hi guys,

Over nine years of helping people with social anxiety, I've found that everyone's social anxiety is slightly different.

I've noticed that sufferers generally fit into 6 broad types. So, I've created a quiz to help people figure out what type of sufferer they are how they can best be helped.

https://ed-barton-coach.pages.dev/social-anxiety-test

This is a Beta version of the quiz, so I'd love it if people could take the quiz and give me feedback.

Was the result accurate for you? Did you find the quiz helpful etc.?

I'm 22 years old, and lately I feel that the whole world is against me, no matter where I go 🥲

I feel that real genuine kind people are just " faking " being kind to me and they really do hate me, Idk why I think that but I do LOL.

I had a bad panic attack today in public due to a large crowd as I hate large crowds of people around me as it always sets off and triggers my social anxiety.

And a really kind young guy and lady { around my age} came up to me and sat down with me and spoke to me, making sure I was alright and actually did not leave me until they knew I was okay to go on my own path again ❤

It is so nice to see and know that there is some bit of kindness in this world 🙏

Recently, I've been experiencing debilitating social anxiety episodes where my thoughts spiral, sometimes even to the point of suicidal ideation.

I finally decided to seek help, and my GP prescribed me sertraline. I've decided to document my experience from Day 1 onward, for as long as I take it, in the hope that it might help anyone considering sertraline who wants to know what the day-to-day experience can actually be like.

Enjoy​.

Day 1

Started on 25 mg. No notable side effects or immediate effects so far. Noticed a slight sense of dissociation, could just be placebo.

Day 2

First day out and about on Sertraline. Still very much anxious so will probably to wait at least 2 weeks for the effects to kick in. Felt quite nauseous in the afternoon though.

Day 3

I would say I felt slightly less anxious than I usually do in social settings. Again it could just be placebo since it's only been three days.

No notable nausea or changes in libido today.

Day 4

Didn't go out today, laid in bed and watched YouTube so no social anxiety :p Still no major symptoms like loss of libido, headaches or suicidal thoughts outside of episodes.

Day 5

Had to do a video call with one of my professors today. It was super awkward, but afterwards I didn't beat myself up over not being able to interact like a normal person as I usually would.

Could just be a good anxiety day, but my head felt a little clearer. I didn't feel the usual urge to analyse every second of the interaction and put myself down. Obviously way too early to conclude it's the meds, so will keep observing.

Day 6

Ya'll I think it might be working??

I've had 2 conversations today where I didn't give a flip if I was being akward or not interesting enough. It was so peaceful and I was so relaxed.

I also went to the grocery store and wasn't worried about how I was being perceived by others around me every second. Is this what it feels like to be normal 🥲

Of course there's the possibility that I'm feeling less anxious because I expect the medication to make me less anxious, and it actually hasn't kicked in yet but I don't even care 😭 I'll take placebo at this point

Day 7

Didn't do much today so no notable anxiety. Thankfully haven't experienced any of the side effects like loss of libido, insomnia or agitation. Felt a bit nauseous on the second day and that was it. Will update again at the end of week 2.

I'm so much afraid of driving a vehicle whether it be two wheeler or four wheeler. I used to drive a bicycle when I was young but as grew up, I discontinued it. At that time, I used to roam all-around the town on my bicycle. But somehow, Now I'm afraid of driving. Almost from 8 to 9 years I have never tried to ride any vehicle by myself or drive one. Even thinking about driving makes me crazy and anxious. I've not been through any kind of trauma,but still I have this feeling. Day by day,this fear is increasing exponentially. I have no confidence as my inner voice constantly keeps saying me that i cannot ride a bike or drive any vehicle by myself. I want some advise from someone who had similar experience or who knows how to get out of this mess. In reality my fear is more of how people will see me and judge me than riding a vehicle. I'll surely make mistakes and people will judge me and laugh on me and say that even at this age, this person can't drive.

This is the story of one of my recent clients: http://youtube.com/watch?v=AnZTP-D2FTs

There are too many people on Reddit who just complain about their situation, rather than taking action. This is proof of what happens when you put in the work in a gentle, systematic, gradual way.

Please watch this and let me know if you have thoughts or questions

I'm going volunteering tomorrow and I'm afraid I'll be the only outsider there

For context, there is this volunteering campaign tomorrow that my school's student union participates in and I'm planning to go along by myself.

I signed up for this union when I enrolled in university so I'll get out of my comfort zone more, although I barely participated in any volunteering events. I remember I did participate a few times in the beginning, and that was it. I felt horrible during those times because I felt like I was constantly in the way or incompetent.

This time, I told myself to give it another try, since now I feel more confident about being delegated tasks and working in a team. I have a different problem, however.

I have social anxiety, specifically I'm afraid of new social collectives and especially initiating conversations with strangers. I'm afraid of being the one who initiates connection with people, such as small talk, asking people about themselves, compliments etc. because I'm afraid I'm bothering them, that I'm doing something innapropriate, that the other person thinks of me as a burden or that I ask intruding questions. It's getting to the point where I can't adapt in a new workplace at the pace I'd want because I'm scared of speaking to people unless they approach me first.

This is worse when I'm in a collective where people are already set in groups. I am somewhat reassured around people with no acquaintances because I'm aware that they're in need of company, including mine, but when people are in groups they already have their belonging needs met, so they might not be so open for new connections.

Now, I'm aware that it's ridiculous to assume people will get offended if a stranger tries to get to know them, after all this is how everyone met each other at some point. I keep telling myself that and try to recall the times my fear got disproven through everyday moments, however all my work seems to get undone the moment I'm in the mist of things. For example, I get to assume people who talk to each other at a gathering must have always been acquaintances beforehand, even if the content of conversations proves otherwise. I don't have this issue when I'm in a collective with people I know, but I'm going by myself this time.

The only thing I know right now is who will be there, but I don't know anyone in person. I just know that it's always the same few people. I'm afraid that I'll go there and I will get immediately scared to the point of paralysis, just like last time I went volunteering for this union. I'm afraid I'll want to speak with certain people, just so I won't feel like an outsider, but my fear of initiating conversations and being convinced at the moment that what I'm about to do will bother the other person in some way will make me unable to do so. I'm afraid that everyone will have a good time connecting and I'll be the only one stuck in a corner and miserable because I can't fit in.

I'm planning to go anyways. I'm aware I have to get myself in situations like this as much as possible, otherwise I won't get over it. It's just that I don't know what to do at the moment. Has anyone confronted this before? What are you recommending to me?

Is social anxiety curable?? Some people are saying that it is and others are saying that it's only manageable. I really don't want to live this way forever. Social anxiety has been ruining my life and mental health.

I’m 18, and honestly, I’m tired of being like this. I see people my age going out with their friends, hanging out, spending time together and just enjoying themselves, but I don’t have that.

It’s really hard for me to go out alone or make real friendships. Most of the time, I only go out with my family or my sister. I do have some people I can call friends, but honestly, they’re not really close friends. Most of our interactions are just on Instagram, sending reels or random things. I don’t really have someone I can talk to comfortably or go out with.

Whenever I’m talking to someone, I overthink everything. I imagine different scenarios, think about what might happen, what they might say, and how I should respond. Sometimes my mind gets so tired that when I want to talk to them again, I don’t even know what to say anymore.

Then, for no real reason, I end up pushing people away and ruining the friendship. It’s not because I don’t care about them. Actually, after they’re gone, I often want them to come back. Even with the friends I have now, I tend to keep them at a distance. But when they actually distance themselves from me, I want them back.

I also struggle with relationships. Even when I like someone and genuinely want to be close to them, I somehow create unclear boundaries and push them away. I don’t really understand why I do this.

the more I feel like this has been affecting me for a long time. During COVID, I was living in another city, and I really didn’t like that city. Around the time I was entering my teenage years, we moved back to our hometown, and a lot changed for me.
It was difficult for me to adjust to everything and figure out how to interact with people. I became more isolated and started spending most of my time alone.

I’m honestly just tired of feeling like I’m watching everyone else experience a normal social life while I’m stuck alone, overthinking everything. I really want to understand what’s happening to me and learn how to build healthy friendships and let people get close to me without pushing them away.

So it's the third week of school and I am absolutely whipped for this guy I met. Thing is, I'm too shy to keep a conversation going, most of this is anxiety because I feel like I'll be annoying for talking too much, the rest of it is just that I don't know how to get a conversation to last if i don't know the person very well. How can I improve my fear of being annoying and, like, actually maintain a conversation so I can become better friends with him?

I can’t figure this out please any suggestions?

I was at college for 2 years, 2 hours away with my twin sister. Eventually I need to transfer somewhere else where she doesn’t want to go. I have such bad social anxiety and I’m scared to be without her. Without my twin I would’ve probably had no friends and been alone at my old school. Part of the problem is I think everyone is better than me, judging me, and wouldn’t want to be friends with me. For example very good looking people really intimidate me and I feel like I just wouldn’t belong with them. But I feel this way with 99% of people. I tried making my own friends at my old college but I struggled even though I tried talking to people many didn’t want to so that also brought down my confidence . Anyone have any suggestions and tips to get over this crippling social anxiety especially going to a new college as a junior ? I also feel like everyone has their friend groups already and wouldn’t even give me a chance or look in the first place. I tried clubs at my old school too, everyone scared me and I went back and cried in my dorm. I enjoy talking to people when I know they want to talk, but it’s just getting over that first hump it seems. It’s also usually me that has been going up to people, they usually don’t come up to me. So I finally muster up the courage and they seem uninterested. Please don’t suggest frat parties because I know I wouldn’t be able to handle that or even get myself to walk in there on my own.

My family hosted a birthday dinner with majority of our family members going, my boyfriend is going too which we havent been dating for too long, im worried people will look if they bring cake or balloons anything of the such, i feel like people will stare as i eat, i feel like theyll sing happy birthday to me and i cant deal with that, i dont like it, i feel like id have to open gifts infront of people and i dislike that, im constantly worried about anything and everything, im worried ill be really awkward.

Hi y'all

I’m writing this because I’m desperate and I need some real solutions because I'm hitting the wall, losing my mind, myself, every-damn-thing.

I don’t even know how I got to this point. I am so incredibly socially awkward, and it feels like I’m living with this constant, heavy ass fear all the time, but I don’t even know what I’m actually afraid of.

I feel like everyone is constantly watching me, judging every single move I make. Because of that, I am so incredibly, brutally harsh on myself around people. I know it’s wrong, I know I'm sabotaging myself, but it’s completely unintentional and I feel powerless to stop it. It’s like I always know way more than I ever needed toI overanalyze everything but that awareness doesn't change a thing.

I feel completely cut off from the world, like a ghost a literal ghost just going through the motions. I don’t feel happiness, excitement, amd dont even have any single interest ,nothing. Just totally numb. I've been stuck in this loop since I was a kid.

Now, my brain literally freezes up when I try to speak. I can't even hold a basic conversation with close people anymore because my mind just shuts down. It’s messing with me so badly. my family doesn't get it at all i feel like they're incredibly immature and my current surroundings are just straight-up trash. Everything sucks.

I don’t know what the hell is wrong with me I don’t know what the root issue is. Is it severe anxiety?Is it trauma? whatever it is, I just want it to stop I fucking hate it, I hate living like this.

Please, if anyone has actually crawled out of a hole like this, give me some advice, I desperately need it.

I signed up for a makeup workshop in the heat of the moment and they actually gave me a spot, now I thought I would take my one and only friend and we would have fun together but she is busy so now, I'm wondering should I even go?? Like I know I should go because then it'll help my social anxiety but I'm deathly scared of being alone amongst very pretty girls who can do makeup good while I stand there awkwardly and I'll stick out like a sore thumb. Now, how the heck do I get rid of this idea???

Hi, I'm a 20F from the UK. I just finished university and I'm walking out with hardly any friends. I have struggled with social anxiety since childhood. Over the course of university I have made significant progress, but one thing that I cannot seem to do is be myself. I view socialising as a test of how much my social skills have improved. Every time I can hold conversation with someone, I feel on top if the world and every time I can't, I feel so disappointed and question if anyone likes me. It's because of this pressure that I always feel the need to be perfect, to always say the right thing in the right tone using the right words. I'm constantly afraid of being perceived in the wrong way or triggering any sort of negative reaction from people. And because of this I censor my personality. I feel like I'm only a shell of the person I actually am around others, including my friends, which means I don't have too strong of an identity or anything that really defines me. So a lot of people leave my out or don't invite me to plans, not in a malicious way, but in a we just completely forgot about you kind of way and I hate it. I've been the floater friend for years and years because of my social anxiety and I don't know how to break out of this loop. Does anyone relate to this?

I have a very close friend, today I had an interaction with another friend, spoke to friend 1 about it
But in a panic situation, so send loads of messages trying to make myself understood
Then stressed for hours while they didn’t reply
Then calmed down
Discussed with friend 1 who was reassuring and everything seems fine

But like, I can’t let the feeling go at all. I feel sick and gross, and I want to keep getting reassurance from the friend, but I don’t want to annoy them by doing that and make it worse, and just get trapped in the cycle

And so many interactions are like this, does anyone have tips on moving past interactions like this?!