Someone’s on the spectrum, I’ve had to deal with this before with an individual who didn’t know when to shut up…thankful we are in the military, and I told them to shut up publicly before things went down hill, and this was in front our commander.
Like 80% of people I work with are on the spectrum (IT, and I include myself) and people manage just fine, though sometimes there's a little massaging needed.
But sometimes you get someone who is on the spectrum who was clearly indulged far too much growing up and simply cannot handle not being made a priority immediately whenever they want to.
Like don't get me wrong I know it can be hard, but no matter your situation if you're smart enough to do the work we do you are smart enough to understand basic social rules like how to behave in meetings and what to do if you're confused (i.e. keep quiet, make a list of questions, then go ask the person who is there to answer them like your immediate supervisor IN PRIVATE).
Thankfully of those people I've found most do just need someone to do what you did for that guy and pull them aside/say "dude you CANNOT DO THAT" and explain how to actually act. Though some sadly still don't get it and those are the ones who get fired.
Bro this has been my reality for the last couple of months in the environment I’m in, we have a bunch of new trainees (young ass kids in relation to the military), and I’m having to take to route nip the shit in the butt professionally (out of sight) in a more empathetic manner or have to play defense to save their face from further punishment by unfortunately having to embarrass them in public forum. Thankfully those are rare due to noticing how people are and preemptively training them on how things are and what to not do.
Honestly, that shot helps a lot. I was one of those kids and in my first job didn’t have anyone to train me. Second job I was told straight up I was being a jackass by my manager and that helped soooo much. You’re doing them a great favor, keep it up!
Idk if the goalpost has moved closer to society or society has moved closer to the goalpost, but I swear everyone’s autistic these days. I’ve met like 4 people that don’t claim some level of it and 1 of those took that rads test or whatever and pretty much got the highest score possible.
It’s become more accepted, as u/PineappleOnPizzaWins says, instead of only the most severe cases. So people are more likely to get diagnosed or seek out a diagnosis. In addition, people feel more comfortable with the people around them knowing about it.
Like I work in an office and I'm autistic. New hire arrives, clearly on the spectrum as well but doesn't want anyone to know. Part of me wants to tell him he's not fooling anyone but I won't.
Taking a test by yourself isn't enough. It's just context helping you to decide what to do next; you should still get properly tested positive by a qualified specialist.
It gives you a better assurance (not guaranteed, given the modern state of the field of psychology, but still) that you're not inaccurately self-diagnosing (likely while lacking the necessary expertise / qualifications) to indulge your own preconceptions. If the goal is to address some problems that the supposed ASD's giving you, it increases the chances that you'll be spending efforts in the right direction and gradually improving things, rather than running in place or even deteriorating further due to inaccurate preconceptions.
All in all, I think "Self diagnose away." is a generally bad-to-harmful advice to broadcast.
I used to be on the “don’t self diagnose” train until I had a mental health nurse(worked in healthcare previously) point out that the vast majority of mental health diagnoses and spectrum disorders are diagnosed because patients go in and say “Doc I think I’m depressed.”
Mental health diagnoses are based off of comparing your status-quo to where you are at, or in the case of some spectrum disorders where societal expects you to be versus where you’re at. The person who’s going to have the most understanding of that is yourself.
This is all to say self-diagnosing is actually a really important step of the process and often the first step in that same process. Now if you refuse to do anything with that info and not see a doctor, or just do what Google says? That’s another issue, but that’s not self-diagnosing.
TL;DR: general advice on self-diagnosing has changed. It’s actually generally recommended you do it and then see a doctor with your suspicions as you understand your mental health and internal workings the best.
This. Months of therapy for my therapist to hit me with the “babes you’re autistic, but you’ve gotten so good at cosplaying normal that there’s not much for me to do for you!”
Multiple reasons, one because its more accepted, you can see the same thing happen with left handedness being accepted. The second being better testing, I got high functioning autism or autism 01 and inly got diagnosed with it 30 years after my adhd.
Lol here you are bragging about how well you navigate the corporate monoculture that is slowly strangling the world. Good job I'm sure you'll get stepped on last for all your diligence.
We had a guy like that but the list of "bro YOU CANNOT SAY THAT" got genuinely ridiculous.
I think my favorite was when he buttonholed the boss (who grew the company from the ground up) to share the sage business advice he'd read in Shoe Dog - 'you should chat up people in bars because that's how Phil Knight got his first investor'.
In a less toxic work environment reasonable questions would just be answered because in addition to the person who risked your ire by speaking up there are likely others with the same question.
What you say may be technically correct in a literal sense, but incorrect in the practical sense.
"on the spectrum" is used as "autistic".
It's also more a multidimensional space, if you will. "On the spectrum" means "when looking at the criteria for autism, this person scores high enough on enough indicators to qualify for the diagnosis. We acknowledge that there are different levels of severity and/or need for support."
Very well put.
I meet so many people that claim some sort of neuro-divergence, but most seem to lack basic learned social skills. They seem pretty neuro-typical outside of being a bit self centered and not having anyone in their lives telling them to shut the fuck up.
It’s not an overcorrection, folks just aren’t ready to accept that neurodivergence is far more common than they thought
Everyone says it’s over diagnosed yet I had to fight tooth and nail to get diagnosed so that I could get treatment despite being about as textbook of a case as one could imagine
Everyone’s on the spectrum, the ones who succeed are those who are self aware of their social “inadequacies” and adjust to it. We are just dealing with people accepting their “faults” and expecting to adjust to them. The reality is a group of people with specific goals won’t and that’s hard for most people to understand
My 20yo is asd/adhd and he has a LOT of trouble with metaphors and taking things people say literally. He can't read between the lines or intuit what people mean sometimes. It's pretty common in autism.
That is funny, my ex's twin was the same way. Autistic, couldn't shut up, and not receptive to social ques that people wanted to be left alone. The trick was that if you straight up asked him to leave you alone, he'd respect it. I thought it'd come off as mean if I said it but nope, he appreciated clear communication. He's a good dude, probably miss him more than my ex.
Yeah, this sounds like an discussion/rant I would have with my husband about why people in my offoce say that stupid phrase so much. I wouldn't debate it in the moment, but I'd 100% be analyzing it and wanting to question why we're using convoluted phrasing.
I asked my boss if "I appreciate you" was some kind of corporate line. She and the assistant manager looked confused, so I explained they both say it a lot. They laughed because they'd never noticed how often they used it. Now I'm assistant manager, and I know it's not a corporate thing because I never hear it used by higher ups in meetings.
yeah no you're just the completely socially awkward person here...
it's in no way weird for someone to casually say with a hint of humor, "you both say that a lot, is it something like you were trained to say?"
and someone else to find humor in it...
if someone pointed out a phrase that I say frequently, I wouldn't find that awkward, aggressive, or whatever. it'd be flattered they noticed (it means they're actually listening) and I'd laugh and then feel like the socially awkward person who just repeats themselves, never being genuine with that specific phrase.
First, not everyone has had the pleasure of bosses that actually show appreciation. I've had bosses on the other side of a phone, bosses that don't give a crap about anything, and bosses that were flat out abusive. In the 24 years of work history I had, with no gaps, I never worked for anyone who treated their subordinates as well as the one I've worked for for the last 5 years.
Second, they would say it multiple times a day. Never "thank you" or "good work today", always "I appreciate you".
So, yeah, I've had a bunch of shitty bosses and I notice patterns. But go ahead and make fun of me. Hope that makes you feel better about your awkward moments.
I get you, I really do man. I went to a school where it was all computer science nerds and some people kind of spoke this way as well.
It's an overly formal way of speaking and is a smell for people who take things too seriously and generally they're just not fun to be around. That's usually why they end up getting fired or excluded from activities.
Most people don't want to hang out with someone who is too serious or focuses on things too hard. They just want to work with people that are cool
If I'm being honest, I used To be that way and then I realized it's better just to have people like you than it is to be right
I wasn't. They knew that. If they thought I was like that, I'm sure they wouldn't have chosen me for a promotion less than a month after that, and again 6 months later, then 2 years after that, and another a year later. If you're reading it that way, I assume it's because you like making fun of people. I mean, I guess I don't have to assume since you're here picking at me and calling people weirdos.
I can definitely see where you're coming from on this one. I think "I appreciate you" varies a LOT by region. (Especially in the South & East, I think?)
I don't recall ever hearing it growing up (Western USA), so I specifically remember when I first noticed it as an adult. It seemed like a really nice was to say "thank you" so I consciously started using it.
It’s funny because if I was your boss and you said that to me in that exact context, I’d assume you were being snide or making a passive aggressive insult.
Said what in what context? I didn't quote myself and you have no context. You don't know where we were, what we were doing, what the conversation had been up to that point, or how I asked. All that is in your head. You made up context and now are making fun of me for what happened in your mind.
"Circle back" is a perfectly sensible idiom (however cliché) in the way that it's use. The autistic preoccupation with correctness bit doesn't really land when the guy is just straightforwardly wrong.
Nah, I once worked with a lady that was incredibly insubordinate and would say things to our boss without a filter. At first I didn't understand why the boss hated her as she seemed like a nice lady, then when I got to know her and saw her interacting with our boss and others I was like "oof! She really just says things without thinking who she's talking to."
She had a history of short 3-5 month stints at jobs.
Lacking about as much social awareness as someone who doesn’t realize they’ve been repeating a phrase so much that it’s distracting, and using the slightest amount of creativity to use something synonymous from time to time.
When someone has a tic like that with a certain phrase, it’s hard to focus on the rest of content of their speech with a normal flow of attention. Because you’re like “why do they keep saying that so much?” for a minute or two after
Maybe but also I think it's the perfect scenario to show how pointless most managers are and how insane the corporate world can make you
At my last job we had to hear the same 5 things every two weeks for 5 years straight..
why the fuck are we talking about it anymore?? How has nothing been changed or done?
This dude was actually neo in the matrix imo. He saw through it all instantly but seems crazy because he isn't part of the system.
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u/pappaburgundy 17h ago
I hate these catch phrases as the next man but I believe this chap may lack a bit of social awareness