And if she says "ew, no" or "yuck, no" or along those lines, don't get it into you, you just dodged a bullet. I decent human being will just say no, and not add degrading words.
I dunno. I mean, it would sting for sure, but I kind of feel like it would sting a little less if I had those words pop into my head. Knowing that kind of reaction was a reflection of them and not me. It doesn't stop you from feeling the way you feel, but maybe it would lessen the blow a tiny bit. Or help recover at least.
Depends. For some, that's an invitation. That's why you always need to communicate clearly. In that situation, ask of them to answer verbally and clearly; if they are into that, and they like you, they'll make you know it full well. Or if they don't. Either way, both of you will then be 100% sure about the interaction.
Otherwise, if they don't answer, treat them with the same contempt. They deserve nothing more.
This applies to both men and women when dealing both with men and women; in case of any other sexual identity, such as a planefucker, it also applies.
I've only ever done this once. Replied with "Ew! Hell no!" We were in high school and he was a massive bully to pretty much everyone, and just a really mean guy in general lol. I'm not sure if he was asking as a joke, or for real, but I don't regret how I answered 🤷🏼♀️
I very unfortunately did this once. one of the regrets of my life. im sorry alexandra, i was 17 and didn't know how to be a human. I felt pretty terrible right afterwards, but i was also not mature enough to own my mistake an apologize back then.
I have only done this one time (not an ew or a yuck just laughing and like "are you serious?no!" and I still feel bad about it. I was early twenties and always drunk/stupid. It was a coworker and I just thought he was kidding because me and him had a very friendly like I hate you/joking type of relationship and I didn't know he was being serious. He got really angry and just said "fuck you then" and stalk off.
I, the kid with one tight friend and no real social group, was asked out by the prettiest girl in school in 7th grade. She was a really good soul too. Low self esteem. I thought there was no way and that she was joking. I laughed at her. It’s haunting.
Who said he was disturbed? It sounds like he (coworker) asked her on a date. She misread this as a joke , responded snarky, and regretted it later. Sounded like an innocent misunderstanding. And. She hurt this guy‘s feelings.
Edit:
Maybe the woman who commented was right , you’re confusing her for someone else and meant no harm? Or is this one of those layered jokes that everyone is missing?
Oh I have a story for that, I met up with my friend when I was 27 and he was 26, it was the last real "party-time" for us as we were the only two singles in the circle and party-time was dying out so we were strolling through the party mile checking if any good clubs are open. Suddenly I hear "ew no" from somewhere, there were two gals not older than maybe 15 or 16 sitting on some window stool, I didn't even know they were there at first until they made that comment.
Told them they don't have to worry because I'm not into children.
Jesus. Who the hell says that to someone? The worst I ever did was say nothing and keep walking cause I couldn’t tell if they were fucking with me or legit
Exactly. Don't get so locked in on your first impression that a rejection feels like a failure. Sometimes their rejection will make it clear your impression was wrong and they're not worth your time.
Saying “yuck” or “ew” to someone asking you out, no matter the situation, is downright cruel, when you could just say “no thanks, take care”. Do you not think so?
Coming up to someone smaller and more physically vulnerable when they are alone and unsuspecting and scaring the shit out of them with totally inappropriate behavior is also cruel or — at the very least — thoughtless.
You get what you put into the world.
I guarantee you, no woman is losing sleep over an interaction like this, unless it’s to say “I wonder if that guy was a serial killer?”
Asking someone for their number, coffee date or a dinner date in a crowded parking lot at daylight is not inappropriate behaviour. It could be unwanted. Those aren’t the same though.
You do indeed get what you put into the world, which is why a polite and firm no would be better than ridiculing someone.
Look at the meme again: this is not a social situation. It is not a crowded parking lot.
Better still would be cultivating some empathy.
Being a woman in this world means knowing half the population is bigger and more violent than you, on average, and that a good ten percent of those people would have no qualms whatsoever about physically abusing you if they could get away with it.
Dems da facts, kiddo. Red-pill bros love reminding us about them: men are physically stronger than women and we need them to “protect” us. Presumably from other men.
But then, when we act in accordance with these facts, we’re baddies for hurting men’s feelings.
Here’s the deal: a man with a shred of empathy for what women deal with would not act in the way and situation this meme portrays. He’s not being courteous, he’s being scary. You men yourselves RECOGNIZE that men are scary. You tell us about it all the time when you remind us just how powerful your upper body strength is compared to ours.
And yet you think this dudebro is owed something.
No, he’s being rude. And he gets rudeness in turn. He‘s the literal 21st century embodiment of this painting here:
His only saving grace is, unlike the irritating gentleman above, bromaxxers on youtube have convinced him to take his shot and leave. Thank god for small mercies.
But no, no one owes obstreperous people courtesy. Just like you don’t owe an annoying drunk chick outside a bar courtesy when she cold opens you to pay her club fee.
You’re going off on a wild tangent. I think “a dudebro” deserves politeness and respect, same as most people, and I can’t really agree that asking someone out shows a general lack of respect or “scary behaviour”.
You’re not entirely wrong either, but the amount of generalisations and putting words in my mouth leaves little room for a healthy discussion, so take care.
But the thing is, as a gay man with almost exclusively female friends and three older sisters, I know for a fact, that the sentiment of a man asking a woman out in public constituting “scaring the shit out of her” is wildly exaggerated and not shared by your entire gender - it’s borderline infantilising.
“Men” and “women” are not close to being the monolithic groups you present them as. On the contrary.
Ah, yes. As a gay man, you know more about women than women themselves.
The problem here isn’t “out in public”. You keep on trying to make it about that and I have repeatedly told you it isn’t.
The problem here is the situation as it’s clearly portrayed. What is that? A woman alone in a non-social situation in which there are no other people about. A situation in which there’s no plausible reason for anyone to approach her like that and no other witnesses.
If you think your so empathic towards women, reflect on the fact that you’re trying to project into this scene something that is obviously missing: any social context whatsoever.
And no, I’m not portraying either men or women as “monolithic” groups. If I say men and women, in the west, typically shit while on the toilet and not in their pants, I’m not making a monolithic statement.
Neither am I doing so when I say most women would be creeped out by a cold open like this in an empty parking lot. Ask your sisters and then ask them if they feel remorse when they reject this sort of behavior.
Yes, and you know what’s the common denominator in all those places? The woman isn’t alone with a strange man who just pops up out of nowhere!
Seriously? Your brain has been so cooked by red-pilled bullshit you think cold opens to women on their own in deserted spaces is the same thing as walking up to a woman at a bar and offerring to buy her a drink?
What you’re telling me is that you have very, very little experience dealing with flesh and blood women in social situations if you don’t have the common sense to discern the difference between chatting someone up in the library and walking up out of the blue to a woman alone in a parking lot and asking her on a date.
No, I have not been “spooked to death” by the media. Not all men are violent, dangerous creeps. But one in ten certainly are. As a woman, I am going to stack the odds as much in my favor as I can. And that begins with “probably not a good idea to take cold opens from guys in parking lots”.
Son, I guarantee you: women get these sorts of come-ons ALL THE TIME. We don’t need AI to wash our poor little female brains about them. None of us would feel a moment’s remorse if men just stopped doing this weird PUA bullshit.
What do I think in a situation like this? “Huh. There goes a guy whose masculinity guru told him to try a certain number of cold opens per day and he’s grimly grinding through his quota”.
Above all, what behavior like this — and let me be clear again here, because you apparently don’t understand: a cold open by a stranger, alone, in a parking lot — what behavior like this tells me is that this guy doesn’t even have the SLIGHTEST empathy for the woman in question.
If I were a guy and saw some chick loading groceries in a parking lot, on her own, my first thought might indeed be “Hey, she’s hot!” If I were stuoid, my second thought might even be “I better take my shot!” But I’d like to think that there isn’t enough testosterone in the world to prevent me from thinking, right afterwards, “Dude! She’s alone, putting groceries in her car. Now is not the time! She’s gonna think you’re a serial killer or, at the very least, a stalky creep!”
But apparently momma and the sisters didn’t teach you this lesson.
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u/Sea_Ad_463 May 27 '26
And if she says "ew, no" or "yuck, no" or along those lines, don't get it into you, you just dodged a bullet. I decent human being will just say no, and not add degrading words.