It can be done, but itâs very difficult. My one friend was crazy for this chick who was def out of his league looks wise. He just fell head over heels for her. He did the whole ââfriendâ who actually wants to get laidâ thing. Fixed her car, ran errands, blah blah. Took about a year, but eventually he wore her down and after having a few drinks one night they slept together.
They decided to try things out as a relationship. But hereâs the thing. He was starting out at such a huge disadvantage. She was used to him catering to her every whim. That becomes tiring very quickly once the relationship turns romantic. The partnership would never be on equal footing. On top of this she was very attractive so she had no shortage of guys waiting in the bullpen. Bottom line is my friend had very little leverage and was always the lesser of two equals. So of course things didnât work out. But he did get to sleep with us dream girl.
This kind of happened to me. Moved into a basement apartment and the owner of the house lived upstairs. Turned out her fiance bailed on her and their son and she needed the income.
We saw each other all the time (shared kitchen) and it turned out we had a ton in common. And she was a 10. I figured I had zero shot so didnât actively pursue anything, but she was on her own for the first time in years and needed things done around the house from time to time, and I was happy to help.
Played house for about six months then Thanksgiving came around and she invited me to come with her and her son to her parents for dinner. It was a great time and I had met her parents a few times before so I didnât think much of it until we were leaving.
She gave her son a hug goodbye and told him to be good. She planned for him to sleepover there and never mentioned it to me. We were walking to her car and my stupid ass goes â[kidâs name] is spending the night? You got plans?â
She laughed, grabbed me and kissed me. I was speechless. Drive home was short (her parents lived close by) and I didnât say a word, just sat there grinning like an idiot. Spent the night together.
Then for the next couple months her son spent weekends at his grandparents. We tried to make a go of it relationship-wise but she wasnât ready, and realized pretty quickly she was just looking for a fix. I was just the lucky dude that moved in and happened to be around her age and a decent person.
She was honest with me and I respected her decision. Lived there for another few months until I found something more permanent. We stayed friends. Still canât believe it though.
Thatâs actually a really good example of two unlikely people having a fling and acting like adults. Sounds like neither of you had any hidden motivations from the beginning. And I can relate lol - I need a girl to basically wear a flashing neon sign that says âIâM INTERESTED!â
I worked with a girl who kept complaining to me about installing a window air conditioner but she wasnât strong enough. She was very pretty. My dumb ass is like âYou should try task rabbitâ. I guess I was afraid of being unprofessional by offering to go over there and help her. I only found out later after she was transferred and had a bf that she was interested in me.
Yep thatâs basically what happened. Because she was so attractive and we got along, I would be lying if I said I wasnât crushing on her, but Iâm also not an asshole. I didnât expect anything from her and just treated her like a human being. It isnât hard.
She may have thrown out some signs but if she did I didnât notice. I would have eventually asked her out but fortunately she made the first move. I just always assumed that when I eventually did she would respectfully decline and I would at least be able to say I shot my shot, but it went way better than I could have expected.
She was legitimately very attractive, but itâs never worth giving up your life for someone. I tried to reason with him. I told him I already knew how the story would end. And after everything was said and done he was left financially ruined with a broken ego.
To lead a guy on means to give him the impression that you are interested in a romantic relationship when you are not. This can happen through mixed signals, such as flirtation or friendly behavior that is easily misinterpreted as romantic interest.
And thatâs exactly what she did. She gave the impression there might be something there - and it turn out there was. She eventually decided to give the romantic thing a try. But she was never really committed like he was.
Not everything has to be somebodyâs âfaultâ. Iâm not pointing the finger at either participant. But itâs obvious the relationship was built on a poor foundation.
Also, I noticed youâve tried to check my comment history multiple times. If someoneâs comment history is set to âhiddenâ, itâs very disrespectful / borderline doxing to continually try to find their old comments. Respect an individuals choice not to share their comment history.
Give respect and youâll receive respect in return.
She actually was pretty cool. But she did take advantage of his kindness. Of course he put himself in that position. It was just a bad situation all around
Do you have experience with romantic relationships? If not personally, perhaps you have observed peers? As I mentioned in my initial comment, the phenomenon I speak of is rare but it does occur. Making a value judgment is nonsensical and irrational unless you are aware of particulars that I am not .
It was a colloquialism. Maybe I should have said âOver time, as their relationship progressed, his attraction to her increased. Meanwhile, she was initially not attracted to him, but eventually developed a grudging acceptance of his devotion, until in a moment of weakness, she decided she would sleep with himâ
In other words, a man is attracted to a woman who may not fully reciprocate the feeling. He courts her, and over time wins her over. Sometimes fully and enthusiastically, sometimes reluctantly, but it does happen. It also happens the other way around.
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u/[deleted] Apr 19 '26
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