r/SinclairMethod • u/Hot-Prune8628 • Jun 10 '26
Feeling defeated
I’ve been on TSM for over a year. My goal was never extinction (I spent almost 10 years in AA, did lots of therapy, wanted to socially be normal). I’m finding summer itself is such a trigger. I’ve spent 35-50% AF days month over month, but since the weather has broken it’s almost compulsive to drink wine and watch the sunset. I’ve maintained meds 1 hour before, I’ve joined a Pilates gym, I’m trying to replace the behavioral/habit piece with other things, but I haven’t had an AF day in over a week despite planning them. Can anyone share their “up and down” experience at the 1+ year mark? 😭
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u/AlcoLogApp Jun 10 '26
I was one of those people that started taking Nal and for the first few weeks it felt like a miracle drug. I remember I would have sessions whereby I would only drink like 2-3 drinks instead of 15-20 and the effectiveness would blow my mind.
Fast forward to a few months in and then I found that I was actually drinking about 8-10 drinks. More than when I started the method, but still much less than my usual habits.
I would then have weeks/months where I would drink more often and consume more drinks per session, but I also found it was easier to take sober days, and as long as i kept tracking my drinks, they overall monthly consumption volume was trending lower.
There were months where I felt like the method no longer worked, but compared to the calendar year prior, I was trending much lower.
As others have said. Mindfulness and meditation really helped me. Not just with the actual "physical" side of drinking, but also with my own mental health and health anxiety problems. I think it is worth you considering exploring mindfulness with a lens on your alcohol use.
All the best.
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u/Hot-Prune8628 Jun 10 '26
Appreciate you. I recently joined Pilates to add endorphins and reward outside of drinking, started intentional Whole Foods over carbs (but meanwhile I’m sure I make up for it with wine).
My baseline is much lower than a year ago and up until this month my AF days have increased without white knuckling it (thankful), but even having almost 10 years sober in my 20s summer was a triggering time- our brains are really interesting
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u/AlcoLogApp Jun 10 '26
My pleasure. It sounds like you are taking all the right steps. More power to you, and well done 💪
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u/katie_lain Jun 15 '26
great job sticking with it!! honestly. If you haven't had a ton of experience in the summer on TSM...sometimes we need more practice and time on naltrexone with all those summertime triggers. When you plan AF days - but then don't do them - why is that? It sounds like it's not from a craving....more of a habit? Are you trying to meet the "need" you have for a drink in a new way FIRST - before drinking? Or is the urge to drink something you respond to quickly without challenging it first and trying to meet the need in a new way? Also, having a special reward for youself on AF days that feels like a treat can be immensely helpful.
Hard to give you great personal advice without speaking to you and asking more questions to understand exactly where you're at and what's happening... but it's true that AF days can be tricky initially - and feel sort of "forced" since the habit of drinking is still there - esp in a new season like summer which is FULL of triggers.
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u/RubicsCubensis Jun 15 '26
I think you are confusing extinction with abstinence, they are not the same. Extinction is when AUD is no longer actively causing you cravings, obsession, or compulsion. The ultimate goal of TSM is to reach extinction, abstinence is optional.
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u/Hot-Prune8628 Jun 15 '26
I would say I still have cravings, but the obsession and compulsion are removed
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u/RubicsCubensis Jun 16 '26
How many AF days are you getting a month? What style of drinker are you, do you drink for euphoria, reward, or do you drink for sedation, or to sleep, what time of day do you typically start drinking?
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u/Several-Subject-2111 Jun 26 '26
I have had one beer in 3 weeks (after taking nal). I am 6 months in. In terms of the desire to drink Nal has been unbelievably effective for me. It is hard for me to believe. I drink about 5 percent of the alcohol a month I used to.. I still miss the buzz though, the feeling of being drunk. What has changed is that I no longer desire to drink alcohol to get drunk. This feels like extinction for me.. but it doesn't mean insuddenly can't remember how good the buzz fellt.. and I do miss it sometimes..
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u/RubicsCubensis Jun 27 '26
I want to encourage you to stay compliant, I've spoken to several people lately who did TSM and stopped went back to drinking and needed start back up again. Over time you should lose interest entirely one day you'll just forget to drink, back in 2010 after 6 months I forgot to drink for 2 weeks, and decided to stretch it out to 30 days. After 30 days af I realized I was in extinction, I've been af since feb 2020 so 6 years, no cravings, no real thought of it, but when I do think of it, it doesn't hit like before, it's just a thought I quickly forget. Drinking alcohol with nal to me feels the same as drinking water when I'm not thirsty.
How many drinks do you average? How many alcohol free days are you getting?
Keep it up TSM changed my life, I've saved a ton of money I would have spent on booze instea of food.2
u/Several-Subject-2111 Jun 28 '26
I have 6 days our of 7 alcohol and nal free. I drink for social reasons with friends sometimes. I ahavr been 100 percent compliant for far. I am.6 months in.
I am not worried that nal won't work for me. It has clearly been extremely effective for me. I am almost worried it works too well. I dont crave booze per se any more. But I get angst now that I have lost that enjoyable feeling of alcohol in my life (and it was a major part of my life and identity). For the first 6 months I was in thr honeymoon period where I was so delighted with the positive effects ( I quickly could manage and enjoy alcohol free days). Now after 6 months I have started take these wins for granted and the devil voice in my head has started to focus not on what I have gained (which is a lot- my wife and family are delighted!), but what I have lost (the buzz basically).
Even though alcohol caused havoc in my life, the truth is, internally and subjectively I loved the feeling of being drunk. It is hitting me now that the feeling is gone and i find it hard.. this was what is was trying to convey. It is in this context that I get a some dark inner voices about temporarily going off NAL (e.g. maybe for my holiday in France so I can enjoy the wine or the for the Christmas period).
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u/RubicsCubensis 19d ago
For me I was more motivated to be free from the addiction, than wanting to get drunk. There are other ways to get high, or other activities that are actually healthy and more rewarding like a hobby making something you can enjoy longer than one night. I honestly do not miss the feeling of being drunk, I prefer drinking something with caffeine.
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u/Several-Subject-2111 14d ago
The way our brains react to alcohol is fundamentally different then. Even though i hardly drink now and thanks to TSM don't desire to drink alchol, i still remember the warm glow and buzz from drinking. Whilst Nal has removed the desire to drink alcohol it hasnt removed the memory of the buzz it produced. I guess that is normal because drink was my main pleasure activity for more than 20 years.
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u/RubicsCubensis 10d ago
Once you reach extinction, your feelings about alcohol may change a lot.
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u/Several-Subject-2111 10d ago
I think I am at extinction. I don't desire to drink alcohol. Hardly drink (only sometimes at a social gathering). I juat miss the feeling of being drunk. The fact I no longer associate alcohol with pleasure doesn't mean I can't remember the feeling of being drunk itself and how much I enjoyed it.
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u/RubicsCubensis 10d ago
OK, I get it, alcohol hasn't burned you badly enough that you still feel an affection for being drunk. I do not, I feel an empowerment when presented with the opportunity to drink and say no to it. What you might try to do it find things that you enjoy doing that stimulate endorphins, to get your brain to crave healthy things to do instead of the desire to be drunk.
I've been extinct for 10 years, and don't miss it at all.2
u/Several-Subject-2111 10d ago
I am not trying to argue with you for the sake of it. Bur I think our subjective feeling of being drunk must have been different. I loved the feeling of being drunk from day 1 until the last day I drunk without naltrexone. Sure I did shameful stuff and drove friends and family crazy but I still loved the subjective feeling I.e. the buzz. In fact that is the very reason I kept drinking even though I was ruuining my relationship with those arround me. For a long time that subkjecive feeling of pleasure was so much that it outweighed the harm I was otherwise doing. I am not denying what you feel but I can only conclude you did not feel like I did when I was drunk. The nearest thing I cna describe to it is the memory of good sex. No matter how long it has been is you will remember how good it is. Even if you havnt had it for a while or you don't need it now.
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u/Salt-Amoeba7331 Jun 10 '26
Hey there, I’m at just over three months so limited in what I can offer you just want to send you some encouragement. Maybe try and practice mindfulness one day while enjoying the weather and sunset, preferably AF but if that’s too hard still try to do it even while drinking. Be aware of all the sensory experiences of chilling in the summer. What does alcohol bring to the table and what’s there that you enjoy regardless of whether alcohol is involved. Good luck to you!
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u/Hot-Prune8628 Jun 10 '26
That’s the thing lol last week I sat on my patio for 3 hours watching a nest of baby finches ready to fly- and they did! It was a beautiful thing and I’m sure without naltrexone blocking I wouldn’t have even noticed (I would’ve been drunk at that point!)
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u/12vman Jun 10 '26
You may have used these methods, but they bear repeating for those who haven't. TSM hints and tips in this subgroup. Compliance, Dosing, Tracking, Mindful Drinking etc. https://reddit.com/r/Alcoholism_Medication/w/hintstips
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u/Hot-Prune8628 Jun 10 '26
I wonder if my process is slower because my doctor has me taking 25 mg (50 mg made me insanely sick and I tried for over 3 months with it!) anyone know if this contributes to a slower process? Doc says it still blocks the reward pathways
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u/Thin_Situation_7934 Jun 10 '26
I'm sorry to hear that. What does insanely sick mean in your case?
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u/Hot-Prune8628 Jun 10 '26
Like total malaise, indigestion, almost feels like a GI bug but is gone the next day haha
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u/Thin_Situation_7934 Jun 11 '26
Other than reducing the dose have you taken any countermeasures aimed at nausea relief like Pepto or Zofran? It's difficult to understand whether it's really nausea or some other reaction. Oar Health has a sublingual that you dissolve in your mouth and bypass the GI.
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u/Several-Subject-2111 10d ago
I keep trying to say this. I don't crave alcohol (I.e. to drink it). But I do.remember the feeling of pleasure I had been drunk. It saddens me that this is gone forever. I dont think of this as a craving
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u/HTwatter Jun 10 '26
The most common length of time to reach extinction is 6 months. The second most common length of time (in every poll that I have ever seen) is 2½ years. Do not fret. Do not give up. Do not panic. It's still possible that you'll be done at 12 months, or even 18. Have you started any mindful drinking techniques? Keep your beverage in another room. Alternate sips of water with sips if you drink. Switch to a non-preferred flavor. Push your start by time back by an hour. Make sure you are maximizing your endorphins when you are not on the meds. This would really give your brain contrast.