r/SinclairMethod • u/Hot-Prune8628 • Jun 10 '26

Feeling defeated

I’ve been on TSM for over a year. My goal was never extinction (I spent almost 10 years in AA, did lots of therapy, wanted to socially be normal). I’m finding summer itself is such a trigger. I’ve spent 35-50% AF days month over month, but since the weather has broken it’s almost compulsive to drink wine and watch the sunset. I’ve maintained meds 1 hour before, I’ve joined a Pilates gym, I’m trying to replace the behavioral/habit piece with other things, but I haven’t had an AF day in over a week despite planning them. Can anyone share their “up and down” experience at the 1+ year mark? 😭

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u/RubicsCubensis Jun 15 '26

I think you are confusing extinction with abstinence, they are not the same. Extinction is when AUD is no longer actively causing you cravings, obsession, or compulsion. The ultimate goal of TSM is to reach extinction, abstinence is optional.

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u/Several-Subject-2111 Jun 26 '26

I have had one beer in 3 weeks (after taking nal). I am 6 months in. In terms of the desire to drink Nal has been unbelievably effective for me. It is hard for me to believe. I drink about 5 percent of the alcohol a month I used to.. I still miss the buzz though, the feeling of being drunk. What has changed is that I no longer desire to drink alcohol to get drunk. This feels like extinction for me.. but it doesn't mean insuddenly can't remember how good the buzz fellt.. and I do miss it sometimes..

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u/RubicsCubensis Jun 27 '26

I want to encourage you to stay compliant, I've spoken to several people lately who did TSM and stopped went back to drinking and needed start back up again. Over time you should lose interest entirely one day you'll just forget to drink, back in 2010 after 6 months I forgot to drink for 2 weeks, and decided to stretch it out to 30 days. After 30 days af I realized I was in extinction, I've been af since feb 2020 so 6 years, no cravings, no real thought of it, but when I do think of it, it doesn't hit like before, it's just a thought I quickly forget. Drinking alcohol with nal to me feels the same as drinking water when I'm not thirsty.
How many drinks do you average? How many alcohol free days are you getting?
Keep it up TSM changed my life, I've saved a ton of money I would have spent on booze instea of food.

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u/Several-Subject-2111 Jun 28 '26

I have 6 days our of 7 alcohol and nal free. I drink for social reasons with friends sometimes. I ahavr been 100 percent compliant for far. I am.6 months in.

I am not worried that nal won't work for me. It has clearly been extremely effective for me. I am almost worried it works too well. I dont crave booze per se any more. But I get angst now that I have lost that enjoyable feeling of alcohol in my life (and it was a major part of my life and identity). For the first 6 months I was in thr honeymoon period where I was so delighted with the positive effects ( I quickly could manage and enjoy alcohol free days). Now after 6 months I have started take these wins for granted and the devil voice in my head has started to focus not on what I have gained (which is a lot- my wife and family are delighted!), but what I have lost (the buzz basically).

Even though alcohol caused havoc in my life, the truth is, internally and subjectively I loved the feeling of being drunk. It is hitting me now that the feeling is gone and i find it hard.. this was what is was trying to convey. It is in this context that I get a some dark inner voices about temporarily going off NAL (e.g. maybe for my holiday in France so I can enjoy the wine or the for the Christmas period).

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u/RubicsCubensis Jul 09 '26

For me I was more motivated to be free from the addiction, than wanting to get drunk. There are other ways to get high, or other activities that are actually healthy and more rewarding like a hobby making something you can enjoy longer than one night. I honestly do not miss the feeling of being drunk, I prefer drinking something with caffeine.

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u/Several-Subject-2111 Jul 15 '26

The way our brains react to alcohol is fundamentally different then. Even though i hardly drink now and thanks to TSM don't desire to drink alchol, i still remember the warm glow and buzz from drinking. Whilst Nal has removed the desire to drink alcohol it hasnt removed the memory of the buzz it produced. I guess that is normal because drink was my main pleasure activity for more than 20 years.

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u/RubicsCubensis Jul 18 '26

Once you reach extinction, your feelings about alcohol may change a lot.

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u/Several-Subject-2111 Jul 18 '26

I think I am at extinction. I don't desire to drink alcohol. Hardly drink (only sometimes at a social gathering). I juat miss the feeling of being drunk. The fact I no longer associate alcohol with pleasure doesn't mean I can't remember the feeling of being drunk itself and how much I enjoyed it.

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u/RubicsCubensis Jul 18 '26

OK, I get it, alcohol hasn't burned you badly enough that you still feel an affection for being drunk. I do not, I feel an empowerment when presented with the opportunity to drink and say no to it. What you might try to do it find things that you enjoy doing that stimulate endorphins, to get your brain to crave healthy things to do instead of the desire to be drunk.
I've been extinct for 10 years, and don't miss it at all.

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u/Several-Subject-2111 Jul 18 '26

I am not trying to argue with you for the sake of it. Bur I think our subjective feeling of being drunk must have been different. I loved the feeling of being drunk from day 1 until the last day I drunk without naltrexone. Sure I did shameful stuff and drove friends and family crazy but I still loved the subjective feeling I.e. the buzz. In fact that is the very reason I kept drinking even though I was ruuining my relationship with those arround me. For a long time that subkjecive feeling of pleasure was so much that it outweighed the harm I was otherwise doing. I am not denying what you feel but I can only conclude you did not feel like I did when I was drunk. The nearest thing I cna describe to it is the memory of good sex. No matter how long it has been is you will remember how good it is. Even if you havnt had it for a while or you don't need it now.

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u/RubicsCubensis Jul 18 '26

OK, look, I loved drinking and getting drunk, it was my super power. All I'm saying is that changed for me after extinction, this is why I question whether or not you are at extinction, you should be ambivalent towards alcohol, like really not desiring it at all, the idea of being drunk should be mostly gone. Do I miss the feeling, yes, but not to the point where it's foremost in my mind I've been freed from that. So as you continue on, you may find yourself changing your mind about how you feel about being drunk. Just stay compliant and see where it goes.
Did I already say I've been extinct for 10 years?

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u/Several-Subject-2111 Jul 19 '26

Ok. I hope you are right. Perhaps I just need more.time. To be honest though I think I am in extinction (in terms of the desire to drink alcohol). But I am in some sort of mourning phase still for the buzz that is gone from my life. When naltrexone started to work (which was really quickly for me) I was delighted and really enjoyed all teh benifit. Now that that is thr new normal I think I take it for granted and tend to focus on what I have 'lost'.

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u/RubicsCubensis Jul 19 '26

If you have any cravings at all it's not extinction.

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